College of Comedy

At the Bardic University of Blev, located on the banks of the Druna, there is no college more renowned than the college of Comedy. From within it's storied walls have come jesters and jongleurs, mendicanti and comedians, mimes and clowns who have entertained the great masses, from the Pirate kings of Brava, and the patricians of the southern cities, to the Wolf Thanes of the North, and even the consuls of Kozafina themselves. 

Though it is often not discussed, particularly within the beautiful confines of Blev, the darkest comedy, the most horrific of grins, and the most terrifying of clowns have strode with a certificate from their walls. Clowns with sinister masks, contortionists that could put abyssal demons to shame, and razor wits honed to such a murderous edge, that a few funny words become the worst incarnation of humour - the killing joke. But, such evils are rare, so they say.  

Though it is true, not every graduate finds themselves in a common court, patronized by a patrician. Some find themselves at constant request, travelling along with merchants to the caravanserais across the length of the peninsula, cracking doors and purses as easily as they can crack a grin. Others seek artistic pursuits of the highest order, practicing their performance with circo troupes, while others are patronized by only the most powerful. Some of the graduates of this college though, they seek a life in the pursuit of laughter and truth, trying to bring joy to the downtrodden, to give humour in the bleakest of circumstances, and rally those who might fall apart around them. They may speak truth to power with a biting grin, more teeth than smile, because they know that a joke can take hold harder than a tyrant's tirade, while others still can be corrupted by the darkness inherent on the other side of the comic coin: tragedy and horror. Laugh or cry, it's all a matter of timing. 

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Guise of the Goof

Any performer knows a look does half the work for you. As a graduate of the College of Comedy, at 3rd Level, you gain a costume unique to you, known as your guise. Whatever the guise looks like, however, each guise has two key components. The guise is size-morphing and it contains an extradimensional pocket. That means, when wearing it, you count as a creature one size smaller when trying to fit into tight spaces, such as clown carts, tunnels, or barrels, and somewhere within your guise is an extradimensional pocket, which may be located in a hat, a pocket, a bra, a fannypack, or other spot of your choosing. The extra-dimensional pocket is perfect for  100 ft handkerchief pulls, rubber chickens, and even long-eared rabbits. The pocket can hold up to 20 pounds of material, not exceeding a volume of 5 cubic feet.

However, due to the extra-dimensional nature of the pocket, when placing your unworn guise  inside another extra-dimensional space, such as a handy haversack, a bag of holding, a portable hole, or similar item instantly destroys both items and opens a gate to the Astral Plane. The gate originates where the one item was placed inside the other. Any creature within 10 feet of the gate is sucked through it and deposited in a random Location on the Astral Plane. The gate then closes. The gate is one-way only and can't be reopened.

 

Down to Clown

Comedy would be nothing without the bits. A 3rd level, you've mastered a few hilarious signatures so well that when you spend a bardic inspiration die, you can perform a comedic bit and gain it's bonuses for an allotted time. Just like on stage, some bits are best performed together, which means you get to give an ally the perfect set-up, or let them come in with the punch-line. 

At third level, you can chose 4 bits to master. This skill improves at sixth level, when you can choose an additional 3 bits.

 

Confusing Contortions

Contort like a circus performer or misalign your limbs like some abyssal monster. Bend yourself into a horror or a marvel and astound a crowd! Gain a bonus equal to your charisma modifier on charisma (performance or intimidation) checks to enthrall or terrify creatures you can see within a 30ft radius for 1 minute.

Distracting Presence

Like a Rodeo clown or a riotous comic with a tight-five that slays a crowd, you have honed you ability to distract down to a tee. Gain either an advantage on a charisma (deception) check for 10 minutes, or force an enemy to spend their next reaction to attack you in battle. 

Juggler's Agility

Your deft hands come to good use when needed. For the next 10 minutes, you can set-up an ally or yourself and gain advantage on dexterity (acrobatics) to catch, juggle, or throw.

Mask of Fools

Be it grease-paint, wigs, or just a change of clothes, comedians are master impressionists and caricaturists. With just a few disguise tools and a shift in physicality, they can almost become another person. When using a disguise kit, you or any ally can gain a bonus equal to your charisma modifier on any charisma (deception) check made for up to 1 hour. 

Perfect timing

Comedy is all in the timing. Gain a bonus to initiative equal to your charisma modifier (self or ally). 

Pratfall

You cleverly time hilarious slapstick slips, trips, and falls to the benefit of yourself or your allies. For up to 10 minutes, you can set up an ally or yourself to gain a bonus to AC equal to your charisma modifier. 

Punching Up

Punching down is for bullies. We all know that humour is funniest when it's aimed at bigger, higher targets. When you perform this bit, you can target yourself, or an ally for up to 1 minute. When aiming at a creature of larger size category, the target of the bit gains a +1 stacking bonus to hit for every size category larger the creature is above the target of the bit. (e.g., a halfling aiming at a human gets +1, a halfling aiming at an ogre gets +2). 

Tomfoolery

A pie, a mug of ale, a frying pan or a clock - all particularly ridiculous for most people to go into battle with...but you're not most people. Gain proficiency in hilarious improvised weapons to perform acts of slapstick attack for up to 10 minutes. 

Tumbler's Roll

As a skilled performer of the circus arts, you know just how to fall to reduce the damage of a bad fall, rolling out of the worst of danger. As a reaction, you can spend a bardic inspiration to reduce falling damage by half. 

Unsettling Presence

Clowns can go from silly to sinister at the twist of a grin, and comedians can slip from charming to cutting with a well-placed punchline. Gain advantage on your next charisma (intimidation) check, for a maximum of 10 minutes. 

Mime's Conjured Creations

At 6th level, your mimicry has risen to new heights! When you mime a creation (wall, rope, etc.) you can imbue it with psychic force, conjuring an invisible creation for up to one minute, when you maintain concentration. You can only have one creation active at a time. Each creation has an AC equal to your own, and a hit point total equal to your spell attack plus your level. For example, if you were a level 5 bard and  had a spell attack of 15, any creation would have 20 hit points. Weapon damage caused by creations is determined in conjunction with your DM.

Yes, and...

At 6th level, you've expanded your comedic repertoire. You can choose an additional 3 bits.

 

Highest Form of Comedy

At 14th level, your comedic skills are unparalleled. You've mastered the highest skill in one of three comedic stylings, the Dread Fool, the Truth-Speaker, or the Comic Relief. Once per long rest, you can embody your form. 

The Comic Relief

In this form, your humour is healing. Laughter is the best medicine. The joy you bring emboldens your allies within 30ft radius, making them immune to fear for 1 hour. At a time of your choosing, when your allies are within a 10 ft radius of you, your ribaldry restores 1d4 hp per round, for a number of rounds equal to your charisma modifier. 

The Dread Fool

In this form, your malicious machinations and gruesome giggles trigger terror, and your clownish presence becomes sinister beyond measure. Within a 30 ft radius, you can cause any creature of your choice that can see you to become frightened. A frightened creature has disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls when the source of its fear is within line of sight. Frightened creatures can't willingly move closer to the source of their fear. You can do this up to a number of times equal to your charisma modifier.

 

The Truth-Speaker

In this form, you are the ultimate leveler. You speak truth to power in a bitingly clever way, releasing fear as you poke holes into the bravado of your foes. You can embolden allies within a 30ft radius, granting them a bonus equal to your charisma modifier on wisdom, charisma, or intelligence saving throws and wisdom (insight) checks for 1 hour.