Oath of the Simp

Paladins who take the Oath of the Simp are wholly devoted to their streamer god/goddess. They subscribe to their deity in every way they can because no-one else could be as beautiful or charming. They donate everything they have to their streamer in hopes that one day they can be together. With the alluring powers of a streamer guiding them, Oath of the Simp Paladins are adept and charming and distracting enemies. Although they would prefer to make everyone love their streamer, they won't hesitate to smite those that won't.

TENETS OF THE SIMP

The tenets of the Oath of the Simp hold a paladin to give everything they have in the name of their deity.

Loyalty. Your streamer is the only one for you. Although they might not feel the same right now, you're sure they'll notice you eventually.

Abstinence. Although it's usually not your choice, you are saving yourself for the day you might finally meet your streamer.

Love. You must spread your love for your streamer by telling others to subscribe to her channels.

White Knight. You must act as a White Knight and defend your streamer and their followers at all costs. Those who speak out against your streamer are just incels.

Oath Spells

You gain oath spells at the paladin levels listed in the Oath of the Simp Spells table. See the Sacred Oath class feature for how oath spells work.

Oath of the Simp Spells

Channel Divinity

When you take this oath at 3rd level, you gain the following two Channel Divinity options.

Subscribe to my Channel. You can use your Channel Divinity to summon an image of your deity. The reasonably attractive image compels creatures to subscribe and donate. As an action, you can force a creature you can see within 30 ft. of you to make a WIS saving throw. On failure, the creature is Charmed for 1 minute. The creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of it's turn or any time it takes damage.

Bathwater Refill. You can use your Channel Divinity to call upon your deity for more bathwater. As a bonus action, you can restore up to half your Lay on hands pool.

Aura of the Streamer

Starting at 7th level, your deity's promiscuous aura distracts enemies. When an enemy enters this 10 feet aura, they must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or have disadvantage on all attacks. The creature may repeat the saving throw at the end of it's turn. When a creature succeeds on the saving throw, it is immune to the effects for the next 24 hours.

At 18th level, the range of this aura increases to 30 feet.

Bathwater Blade

Starting at 15th level, you learn to use your deity's divine bathwater for offense. As a bonus action, you can use up to 10 points from you lay on hands pool to coat your weapon in your deity's magnificent bathwater. The next time you successfully land a hit with that weapon, it will deal additional radiant damage equal to the number of lay on hands points used.

Post-nut Clarity

At 20th level, you can look upon lewd images of your deity. Seeing such beauty causes you to burst... with joy. After you've burst you gain post-nut clarity, making your mind sharper than ever.

Using your action, you gain the following benefits for 1 minute:

• You gain a +4 to your spell modifier.
• You cast paladin spells with a casting time of 1 action as a bonus action
• You gain advantage on Wisdom, Intelligence, and Charisma saving throws.

Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a long rest.