Ninja

Now you thought this was a ninja, but in reality, it's Tyler "Ninja" Blevins, the obnoxious Fortnite streamer that we all hate. Have fun playing this character so all of your party members can incessantly laugh at your blue hair, or question all that money that daddy Red Bull is sending you.

What the fuck just came out of your mouth?

Granted at 3rd level, this feature involves all failed witty remarks, shitty monologues, and bad puns. As a bonus action you may try, and fail, to say something interesting, usually ending up in odd, nonsensical sounds (this has to be roleplayed or the ability does nothing). Any creature of your choosing within 30ft of you that can hear you must make a Wisdom save that equals 8 + your proficiency modifier + your Charisma modifier. On a failed save the creature is momentarily stunned at your stupidity, one ally within 5ft may make an opportunity attack with advantage. You may use this feature a number of times equal to your charisma modifier, representing the amount of times you can absolutely fail to be cool before sulking for a long rest to regain uses.

Red Bull Fridge

At 9th level You gain a bag of holding that produces an endless amount of red bull, as an action in combat you may drink a red bull, this does nothing, however, for each non party member that sees you drinking red bull in a fight, you gain a bag of money from red bull equaling 1 platinum for each person that saw you.

Taki's are Seriously Intense

At 13th level your red bull bag gains two single Taki's in it a day, as an action you may eat a Taki and say "Taki's are seriously intense" to ignite in flames. Any creature within 15ft of you when you do this must make a dexterity save that equals 8 + your proficiency modifier + your charisma modifier. On a failed save they take damage equal to your sneak attack + half that many d6's (rounded up) in fire damage. On a success they take half that damage. 

Blue Hair

At 17th level you've finally reached your full power, your hair magically turns blue, any creature that looks at you for the first time must make a wisdom saving throw that equals 8 + your proficiency modifier + your charisma modifier. On a failed save the creature hurls the contents of their stomach over the course of two rounds, this takes their whole turn. On a success a the creature is unaffected. after a creature is forced to make this save once they are unaffected for the next 24 hours.