Detention

In all the colleges a bard can choose, every college has a detention. The detention is home to the worst singers and least musically inclined people that the world has known. It is usually never a blessing to have a detention bard in your party.

Detrimental Visage

When you join the Detention at 3rd level, you gain the ability to attempt to weave a song of fey magic, but you end up just making targets more vulnerable.

As a bonus action, you can expend one use of your Bardic Inspiration to grant yourself a disgusting appearance. When you do so, choose a creature you can see and that can see you within 60 feet of you. They lose half their health temporarily. When a creature loses these temporary hit points, it can immediately use its reaction to move up to its speed, but will give enemies advantage on their opportunity attacks.

Excruciating Performance

Starting at 3rd level, you sing or play a terrible song.

If you perform for at least 1 minute, you can attempt to deafen your audience by allowing the screeching of your music to reach their ears. At the end of the performance, choose a number of humanoids within 60 feet of you who watched and listened to all of it, up to a number equal to your Charisma modifier (minimum of one). Each target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC or be deafened by you. While deafened in this way, the target cannot hear anything but the terrible "music" they had just witnessed and will automatically fail any skill check that requires hearing. This effect ends on a target after 1 hour.

If a target succeeds on its saving throw, the target has successfully plugged their ears and saved themselves.

Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

Mantle of Vulgarity

At 6th level, you gain the ability to attempt to cloak yourself in a fey magic that makes others want to serve you, but really it just makes their eyes bleed. As a bonus action, you cast blindness/deafness, without expending a spell slot, and you take on an appearance of unearthly ugliness for 1 minute. During this time, you can cast blindness/deafness as a bonus action on each of your turns, without expending a spell slot.

Any creature deafened by you automatically fails its saving throw against the blindness/deafness you cast with this feature.

Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a short rest.

Unbreakable Vulgarity

At 14th level, your appearance permanently gains an otherworldly aspect that makes you look absolutely horrid.

In addition, as a bonus action, you can assume a horrendous presence for 1 minute or until you are incapacitated. For the duration, whenever any creature tries to attack you for the first time on a turn, the attacker must make a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC. On a failed save, it can’t attack you on this turn, and it must choose a new target for its attack or the attack is wasted. On a successful save, it can attack you on this turn, but it has disadvantage on any saving throw it makes against your spells on your next turn.

Once you assume this disgusting presence, you can’t do so again until you finish a short or long rest.