College of Chaos

Having foregone a 'proper' College, these bards instead rely on the whims of fate, a damaged bag of holding, and their own luck to get them through the world.

College of Chaos bards are effectively Chaos Incarnate and thrive on upsetting the status quo through dynamic, often explosive means, using their 'damaged' Bag of Holding to pull out improbable, unlikely, and sometimes impossible items, contraptions, creatures, and even concepts made flesh from their innocent-looking little bag.

 

What just happened!?

3rd-level College of Chaos feature

As an action, you can reach into your Bag Of Doom and pull out a random item to try and use in a dire situation. This can only be done once per short rest due to the dangers of forcing your hand into the Blind Eternities of Chaos Itself and not getting it torn off. The item in question will be chosen by the series of tables below, and it will always be unknown to both the bard and their allies until it’s too late. To draw from the bag, first roll on the Danger Level Determination table, and then once it tells you which other table to roll on, go roll on that table as well. The DM is also allowed to overrule your pull with an item of their own, but only every once in a while.

Danger Level Determination Table

 

 

d100	Danger Level
95-100	5-Star: Something Awesome!
73-94	4-Star: Cool stuff!
46-72	3-Star: Not bad, not great
11-45	2-Star: Mostly junk
1-10	1-Star: ....ohno.

 

1-Star Table

d100	Stuff Found
1-10	The Deck of Many Things
11-20	A Tiamat figurine that summons Tiamat if the creature holding it says a word that starts with “w”
21-30	An already cast 4th-level Fireball Spell
31-40	A jar of dirt. It feels familiar though…
41-50	A random underpowered cartoon villain of the DM’s choosing
51-60	50-feet of gunpowder-dusted hempen rope
61-70	A Jackass Genie
71-80	A 10lb sack of stink bombs [deals 1 poison damage in a 10 foot AOE and 50% chance of blinding or frightening anyone in the area] each 2 ounces
81-90	An 800-page book. Its title reads “How not to summon a Tarrasque”, but if you read the whole book out loud (taking a short rest), it summons a tarrasque
91-100	A figurine of the Player whose character drew from the bag. It’s completely useless.

2-Star Table

 

D100	STUFF FOUND
1-10	A random gemstone worth 30 GP
11-20	A cursed platinum coin [DM decides curse]
21-30	15 unlit candles[DM’s choice for color]
31-40	Living Chain Lightning Spell
41-50	A Gun that shoots Money
51-60	A Miniature based on an ally. If placed on the ground, it grows into a life-sized statue, until someone attempts to pick it up, as it then shrinks in their hand back to its original size
61-70	The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, but written in Goblin
71-80	A miniature based on one of their foes. If placed on the ground, it grows into a life-sized statue, until someone attempts to pick it up, as it then shrinks in their hand back to its original size.
81-90	A Cash-Chip containing 500 Credits
91-100	15 Unlit Black Ritual Candles

3-Star Table

D100	STUFF FOUND
1-10	A random starting kit backpack[DM’s choice]
11-20	A random starting kit backpack[Player’s choice]
21-30	A vital quest item they accidentally lost or destroyed[or copy of such if none were lost/destroyed]
31-40	Suit of enchanted bikini armor, [Enchanted with a random armor-applicable artificer infusion permanently]
41-50	A Figurine of Genghis Kahn, with a plaque on it reading “Father of Many” crossed out and written below it, “Best Role-Model”
51-60	A perfectly mundane walking stick
61-70	1 liter of liquid fire, unbottled
71-80	One 5-gallon jerry can of Kerosene
81-90	One spare 'Damaged' Bag of Holding Or Voraphile's Satchel, player's choice.
91-100	One of the other Player Characters

4-Star Table

D100	STUFF FOUND
1-10	A random martial or simple melee weapon from the player’s handbook
11-20	The Player's Handbook[Written in Common]
21-30	Deed to random home[DM’s choice]
31-40	Sheet Music for ‘One Winged Angel - Rebirth’
41-50	A Pink Dragon’s book of jokes, that when one is read, it disappears, and the creature it is read directly to (and addressed beforehand) is immediately charmed for 5 minutes. This book has 7 jokes left in it, and when all are expended, the book disintegrates (While you still have the book, you cannot draw it again)
51-60	The World’s Longest Katana[R.E. Sephiroth's Masamune]
61-70	5lb satchel of gunpowder
71-80	Antique suit of Power Armor[make and model by DM discretion]
81-90	500 GP worth of antique bottle caps
91-100	Sphere of Annihilation

5-Star Table

 

D100	STUFF FOUND
1-10	A statuette of Helsing Ultimate Abridged Alucard. When the holder speaks the phrase, “I’m going for a walk.” They die and are instantly revived as a Vampire race from Plane Shift: Zendikar
11-20	A cracked crystal with the wish spell in it. The wish has already been cast, and breaking the crystal will release an already decided wish. [The DM decides what the wish is]
21-30	Knightmare Industries-brand homunculus companion[Player chooses appearance, use Steel Defender stat block]
31-40	The Deck of Many Things
41-50	A small statuette of Bah-Rhest. If the player says a prayer to her, taking 12 seconds while focusing on the Statuette, It summons Bah-Rhest Herself for 30 seconds, and then she disappears, and the statuette disintegrates. (it can still be re-drawn later)
51-60	An undamaged Bag of Holding
61-70	A random deity figurine. Saying a prayer to it will grant you +1d4 to all saving throws for an hour. Can be prayed to once per day.
71-80	A +2 Magic Weapon
81-90	+2 Armor or +2 Shield
91-100	A random stat-increase-type magic item [At DM’s choice] [Ex: Headband of Intellect]

 

Refined Chaos

6th-level College of Chaos feature

Now, more careful and cautious, you can, once per attempt, 'feel' your item you're about to grab from the Damaged Bag of Holding. Your DM will roll secretly, and describe defining tangible, non-visual traits of the item you're about to grab. If you're unwilling to risk it, you can decline the action, treating the attempt as a bonus Action and not wasting your use of the Bag of Holding this turn.

 

Mayhem Unleashed

14th-level College of Chaos feature

Once per week, if you’re in a moment of dire need, sheer stupidity, raw boredom, or just that desperate for ‘the right item’, you may turns your bag of holding inside out. Doing this causes EVERYTHING on the 2-Star Table and the 3-Star Table to spill out of the bag, plus every non-listed item the DM has had you pull, plus an additional 3d6 items from the Player’s Handbook or other valid sourcebook. You cannot do this again until one full week has passed, because that’s the minimum time needed to get all of that bullshit back into your bag.