College of Celestial Nonsense

In the world of bards, there exists a peculiar order known as the College of Celestial Nonsense. These whimsical minstrels revel in the utterly absurd, embracing the cosmic chaos that tickles the very strings of reality. They are the masters of laughter, the architects of befuddlement, and the virtuosos of pure, unadulterated nonsense.

Nature of the Absurd: Bards of the College of Celestial Nonsense are not merely performers; they are cosmic jesters, weaving spells of hilarity and introducing a touch of madness into the mundane. Their laughter echoes through the planes, and their music is a symphony of pure whimsy, composed in the key of the utterly bizarre.

Unpredictable Performances: The hallmark of this college is its Celestial Caprice, an unpredictable symphony that infuses their spells with cosmic absurdity. When the College of Celestial Nonsense bards cast their magic, reality itself becomes a canvas for the unexpected. Creatures caught in their spells might find themselves floating in the air, laughing uncontrollably, or spontaneously turning into small, harmless animals.

Astral Absurdities: These bards, in their pursuit of the absurd, compose Astral Absurdities during moments of rest. These range from Quantum Quibbles that bombard foes with trivial facts to Temporal Ticklishness that induces fits of laughter in unsuspecting targets. The Astral Absurdities are the Bard's toolkit of cosmic pranks, each more preposterous than the last.

Practical Jesters: Members of the College of Celestial Nonsense often adopt an appearance to match their absurd nature. They might wear mismatched clothing, hats adorned with rubber chickens, or carry instruments that sound like a cacophony of interstellar barnyard animals. Their performances are a blend of slapstick comedy, arcane trickery, and outright nonsense.

Cosmic Carnival: At the height of their power, these bards can summon the Cosmic Carnival, a swirling maelstrom of whimsical oddities that ensnare the senses. The carnival is a manifestation of pure absurdity, turning the battlefield into a surreal spectacle where reality itself wobbles and quivers with every note.

In the World of Straight-laced Adventures: While some may underestimate the College of Celestial Nonsense as mere jesters, their unique brand of magic has a profound impact. In battles, their enemies find themselves bewildered and disoriented, and in moments of celebration, their performances are unforgettable, leaving all in stitches and stitches in all.

In the grand tapestry of bardic colleges, the College of Celestial Nonsense stands out as the enigmatic jesters of the cosmos, turning the serious business of adventuring into a cosmic comedy where laughter is the mightiest magic of all.

Celestial Caprice

At 3rd level, your performances morph into a Celestial Caprice, a symphony that plays with the very fabric of reality. When you cast a spell that targets creatures, you let the spell surf the whims of the cosmos. Creatures targeted by the leveled spells must succeed a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC or be affected by Celestial Caprice. Roll a d6 and consult the Cosmic Caprice table (see below) to determine the unpredictable effect:

d6	Effect
1 (Starlight Shenanigans)	A burst of starlight creates a cascade of confetti. Creatures, including the target, in a 10-foot radius of the target must make a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC or uncontrollably burst into laughter, falling prone until the start of your next turn.
2 (Gravity Gag)	The target experiences a temporary reversal of gravity. It must make a Dexterity saving throw against your spell save DC or float 10 feet into the air for one round, during which it can't take actions or reactions.
3 (Quantum Quandary)	The target becomes entangled in a quantum quandary. It must succeed on an Intelligence saving throw against your spell save DC  or be unable to comprehend reality, taking 2d4 psychic damage and having disadvantage on its next saving throw.
4 (Temporal Ticklishness)	Time goes haywire around the target. It must make a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC or be under the effects of the confusion spell until the start of your next turn.
5 (Astral Amusement)	An astral projection of the target appears, mimicking its actions with exaggerated gestures. Nearby creatures are amused, giving the target advantage on Charisma-based skill checks until the start of your next turn.
6 (Reality Wobble)	The fabric of reality wobbles like a jelly on a plate. Creatures, including the target, within 10-feet of the target must make a Dexterity saving throw against your spell save DC or be transformed into harmless small animals until the start of your next turn.

Astral Absurdity

Delving into the ludicrous, at 6th level, you learn to compose Astral Absurdities. During a short or long rest, you can create an Astral Absurdity (maximum of half your charisma modifier rounded down). As a bonus action, you can release one of Astral Absurdities you have stored from the "Astral Absurdity" table, invoking one of the following effects:

Astral Absurdity	Effect
Intergalactic Quagmire	Select a creature within 60 feet you can see. The target becomes ensnared in a Quantum Quagmire, forcing them to make a Strength saving throw against your spell save DC. On a failed save, the creature is immobilized by an invisible force of cosmic custard for one round. While stuck, the creature's attempts to speak sound like comical quacks, imposing disadvantage on any Charisma-based checks.
Corporeal Topsy-Turvy	Choose a creature within 60 feet you can see. The target experiences a topsy-turvy twist in time, making them disoriented. The creature must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or have disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks for one round. Additionally, their perception of directions becomes skewed, causing them to move in the opposite direction of their intended path.
Existential Ruckus	Designate an area within 60 feet you can see. The fabric of reality becomes a Rambunctious Ruckus Zone. Enemies within a 15 foot radius the area must make a Dexterity saving throw against your spell save DC or be affected by uncontrollable fits of laughter, rendering them incapacitated until the start of your next turn. While incapacitated, they emit a cacophony of silly sound effects, making them easily noticeable by other creatures.
Cosmic Comforting Quilt	Choose a point within 60-feet you can see. The Cosmic Quilt blankets the area, creating a vibrant quilt of magical energy. Allies within 15-feet of the area gain temporary hit points equal to your Charisma modifier and advantage on their next saving throw. The quilt also forms a protective barrier, granting resistance against the next instance of damage they receive.
Temporal Tumultuous Tango	Select an ally within 60-feet. The ally becomes the center of the Temporal Tumultuous Tango, gaining advantage on Dexterity saving throws and a 10-foot increase in movement speed for one round. As they dance through the fabric of time, they leave behind sparkling afterimages, making them harder to hit imposing disadvantage on the next attack made against them.
Reality Ribbon Revelry	Designate an area within 60-feet you can see. The Reality Ribbon Revelry manifests a ribbon of cosmic energy that hovers over the chosen area in a 15 foot radius. Allies passing through this area gain advantage on their next saving throw and a burst of inspiration, allowing them to add your Charisma modifier to their next ability check or attack roll. The ribbon leaves behind a trail of shimmering stardust that grants advantage on Stealth checks for one minute

Cosmic Carnival

At 14th level, you can unleash the full force of the cosmic absurdity you've harnessed. As an action, you can summon the Cosmic Carnival, a swirling maelstrom of whimsical oddities within 60 feet. All creatures in the area must make a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC or be affected by a random Astral Absurdity effect. The Cosmic Carnival lasts for 1 minute or until you lose concentration (as if concentrating on a spell). Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you finish a long rest.