The counsel of a diviner is sought by royalty and commoners alike, for all seek a clearer understanding of the past, present, and future. As an Asparamancer, you have the particular ability to see the future by tossing asparagus onto the ground, and reading the patterns in how it lands to tell the future. While this school of magic is often derided by more traditional Diviners who use herbs, crystal balls, the stars, etc, there are those who appreciate this unique skill. Long have been the reigns of kings who have had an asparamancer in their council. 

Also as an Asparamancer, your pee smells quite bad. 

Asparamation Savant

Beginning when you select this school at 2nd level, the gold and time you must spend to copy a divination spell into your spellbook is halved. You also gain the Druidcraft spell as a bonus Cantrip. When you cast it, you cannot create flowers, but rather cause 2d12 stalks of Asparagus to sprout in the target area. 

As an additional effect of this ability, you must use asparagus as your spell focus for any spell in place of wand/staff/orb, etc. A handful of asparagus stalks are needed to cast any spell with a material components requirement, in addition to their regular components, and are consumed by the spell. 

Asparamancy

Beginning at 2nd level, by taking at least 10 minutes to read the asparagus, for the rest of the day you may use the portents shown to you in the patterns to avoid or influence fate. A number of times per day equal to your proficiency bonus, before any roll is made, you may reveal that you have seen these events play out in the asparagus and use your knowledge to inflict Advantage or Disadvantage on the roll. This ability may only be used once per day, and unspent uses of this ability are lost upon a long rest and are not regained until you have again taken the time to read the asparagus. 

Cosmic Cladodes

This ability is granted at 6th level. By ingesting asparagus, the Asparamancer may absorb little known properties of the plant into their own person. The energies of the cosmos flow through the asparagus, making it not only a delicious and healthy food, but the nexus of realities. By eating asparagus the Asparamancer opens their minds to a sliver of the vast cosmic network that flows through the crop. It is ultimately too much for the human body to handle, though, and the residue of the cosmic aether leaves traces in the body, which must be flushed out. 

To use this ability the Asparamancer must ingest at least six asparagus shoots. When they do they may choose a Divination spell with a level less than or equal to their proficiency level. For the rest of the day they may then cast that spell a number of times equal to their proficiency level without expending a spell slot. This bonus is lost upon a full rest and free castings of this spell do not roll over to the next day. This ability may be reactivated upon again ingesting asparagus the next day. 

As a side effect of using this ability, during each short rest taken, the Asparamancer must urinate. The scent of this urine is foul, and the Asparamancer will have disadvantage on any Charisma checks with any creature that is or was able to smell it. This effect ends, also, upon a long rest. 

Shoots of Doom

This ability is granted at 10th level. The Asparamancer's connection to the asparagus has grown strong at this point. They can now call upon the titanic spirit of the plant to fill its leafy vessel, and rise as an avatar of destruction. 

Twice per day the Asparamancer may summon a spirit from the Elemental Plane of Asparagus to fill a fresh shoot of asapargus and turn it into an elemental under their command. 

It manifests in an unoccupied space that you can see within range. This corporeal form uses the Elemental Spirit stat block.  The creature resembles a bipedal form created from pure, raw asparagus. The creature disappears when it drops to 0 hit points or when the spell ends.

The creature is an ally to you and your companions. In combat, the creature shares your initiative count, but it takes its turn immediately after yours. It obeys your verbal commands (no action required by you). If you don’t issue any, it takes the Dodge action and uses its move to avoid danger.

At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher, use the higher level wherever the spell’s level appears in the stat block.

One With the Asparagus

At 14th level the Asparamancer has become one with the asparagus, having eaten enough of it that it is literally flowing through their veins. They can perceive all possible timelines, and can see all points of the future and past that were ever witnessed by an asparagus. Though their mortal mind can never perfectly comprehend all the information this gives them access to, the Asparamancer's practiced skill still allows them to bend reality to their will. 

At this level, the Asparamancer can never be Surprised by an enemy, does not suffer a penalty when attacking or being attacked by an invisible foe, and does not suffer any penalties from the Blind condition. 

A number of times per day equal to half of their proficiency bonus (rounded down), when the Asparamancer would be hit by an attack, they may use their reaction to add +4 to their armor class until the beginning of their next turn, and move themselves 5ft away from their current position. This movement does not trigger attacks of opportunity.