Loser

You're nothing special, actually you are just a normal person with normal problems. But however, you get involved into every single adventure in the world, every single time you open the door. You don't know why. It is just bad luck. You are simply a real Loser.

Level 3: UUUAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

When you choose this archetype at 3rd level, you mastered a combat stategy, for surviving every encounter. Running away. If you use the Dash action, you won't provoke any Opportunity attacks, for this movement. 

Level 9: "Where are my pants?"

Starting at 9rd level you mastered it to be really rediciolous, which helps you if you need it the most. As an action you can do something embarrassing. If you do this, EVERY creature within 30ft of you , has to make a Wisdom saving throw against DC 10 + half your Level as a Rogue (rounded up), or gets under the effects of the spell Tashas Hideous Laughter, without concentration, for up to one minute. If you have used this ability, you can use it again after a long rest.

Level 13: Misfortune is spreading

if you reach the 13rd level, you're rotten luck is so big, that it is spreading too other people. Every time a creature within 30ft you can see, makes a d20 roll, you can make her rolling a one. You have to use this ability before the roll. If you used this feature, you can only use it again, after you made a short or long rest, or after you have rolled a one on an attack or ability roll.

Level 17: "I am not a loser!"

If you reach Level 17, you can convince yourself that you are not a loser anymore, and make any d20 check, be a 20. If you used this ability once, you can only use it again, after a short or long rest.

PS. hey, you're not a loser anymore. Go, and search yourself a real job.