Yogurt Male

Many Yogurt Males don't know why they are special. They have a unique set of tastes that set them apart within the social hierarchy. In many ways, they are the most interesting and attractive type of man; mysterious, intelligent, calcium-rich, independent, sexual, and predatory. Discover your strengths, understand your mysterious diet, and dominate Greek people.

Prerequisites: Male Character, Humanoid Race / Species.

More Time for Yogurt

There are only two objectively best flavors of yogurt; key lime and peach. When you chose this archetype at 3rd level, you also decide which objectively best flavor to align yourself with, and gain benefits based off your choice as shown below:

Key Lime

Key Lime is objectively the best flavor of yogurt. It's zesty, intense, yet sophisticated. Its flavor cannot be matched, and you yourself have embodied those properties. You gain proficiency in one of the following skills of your choice: Insight, Perception, History, or Investigation. You also learn one additional language of your choice, such is your sophisticated nature.

Peach

Peach is objectively the best flavor of yogurt. It's sweet, comforting, and light. Its flavor brings joy to those who indulge in it, and you yourself have embodied these properties. You gain proficiency in two of the following skills of your choice: Perception, Medicine, Survival, Nature, Animal Handling, or Persuasion. 

Lone Wolf

You have no friends and that gives you strength. Starting at 3rd level, you emanate an aura that intimidates all those who fall within it, unable to handle the idea of you stealing all the yogurt from their fridge. Your walking speed increases by 5 feet. In addition, if you aren’t incapacitated, all creatures within 5 feet of you suffer a -1 to all their Wisdom checks and saves, as your presence alone is enough to unnerve them.

When you reach 7th level in this class, the aura imposes a -2 to all Wisdom checks and saves to all creatures within 5 feet of you, and your movement speed is further increased by an additional 5 feet.

Man Yogurt

Women find your irresistible. Their loins ache for your precious man yogurt. Starting at 3rd level, once per long rest, you may gain advantage on any Charisma check or save made against a creature considered to be female. Alternatively, you may, once per long rest, give any creature considered to be male that is within 30 feet of you that can see you, disadvantage on any Charisma check or saves that they make against a creature considered to be female, as they fail to fully commit to the yogurt cuisine.

Birthright

Beta store managers simply cannot comprehend that all their yogurt belongs to you by birthright. Starting at 7th level, your continued dedication towards the yogurt male lifestyle have given you powers of persuasion beyond scientific understanding. Whenever you make a Charisma check, you treat all rolls of 9 or below as a 10. 

In addition, once per day, you gain the ability to summon a pint of magical yogurt whose flavor matches the objectively best flavor you aligned yourself to at level 3. As an action, a creature may eat this yogurt to gain 15 temporary hitpoints and recover one level of exhaustion. If a yogurt male eats this yogurt, they also recover hitpoints equal to 3 times their proficiency bonus.

Fueled by Yogurt

Your dedication towards the yogurt male lifestyle has physically altered your biology, making your body a machine fueled solely by yogurt. Starting at 10th level, you only need to consume one pint of yogurt (magical or mundane) per day to remain satiated. You no longer need to sleep, urinate or defecate as your body has become so efficient at processing yogurt that it leaves zero waste. You are able to secret yogurt directly from your body. This yogurt can feed both you and other creatures, so if you were ever lost in the wilderness, you could suckle yourself for nourishment. Lastly, you gain a +10 to initiative rolls and can no longer be surprised as your hyper-efficient yogurt-fueled body grants you minor precognition on events that would seek to harm your bodily yogurt sanctuary.

Calcium-Rich Mind and Body

Your never-ending consumption of yogurt has increased the calcium within your body, strengthening you both physically and mentally. Starting at 15th level, the calcium from yogurt has made your skeleton 83 times harder than diamonds. Your base AC increases to 14, your carrying capacity triples, and you take 3 less damage (reduced to a minimum of 1) from all non-magical sources.

Whenever you make a Wisdom, Charisma, or Intelligence saving throw, you may chose to gain advantage on that save. You may use this feature 3 times per long rest.

The Most Rare and Powerful Type of Male

Starting at 18th level, your unrelenting commitment towards the yogurt male lifestyle has given you powers that transcend the limitations of your mind and body. All non-yogurt male creatures within 50 feet of you begin inexplicably experiencing indigestion and flatulence as the power of yogurt flows through your veins.

Additionally, if you touch a creature, you may force them to make a DC20 Constitution saving throw. On a failure, the creature immediately shits themselves and dies. On a success, the creature immediately shits themselves and suffers 4 levels of exhaustion. Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you consume a pint of magical yogurt.