School of the Lazy Player

Some wizards are strikingly uninterested in adventuring, storytelling, interacting with others, or exerting themselves in even the slightest way.  They instead prefer to hoard material possessions and just screw around.

Platinum Bounty

Starting at 2nd level, when you finish a long rest, a treasure chest containing 100 platinum pieces appears next to you.  You're not sure why, but who cares?

I Cast...You Know...That Spell

At 6th level, you no longer have need of a spellbook.  As long as you have an available spell slot of the appropriate level, you can cast any spell from any class.

Dice? What Dice?

Starting at 10th level, when you make an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw, you no longer need to roll.  You can choose to automatically succeed.

Skip to the End

At 14th level, you can spend an action to take you and your adventuring companions (assuming you have any) to the end of the current adventure.  For example, if you were given a bounty, the wanted creature is immediately captured or killed and you can collect.