One the dayeth, a dude came to the town Finkestine. All the peopls saw did dude and was like whoooaaa, he so the cool. That cool shmoop was a paladin of the holy FRAZZLE DAZZLE, because when you do the FRAZZLE, you get the two thing. You get the awesome stupid, and the amazing COOlness.

To worship the FRAZZLE DAZZLE tree, you must first spend 500 years, in intenseness warship, or just say the word sprrrrrrrrrrrrrruce. MAKE SURE TO USE 14 R'S OR IT WONT WORK. non believers are FROBIDEN to use the word, because they no have the STUPidity. ONly de dumbness popels can folow the ommmmega tre.

ALLL HAIl the FRAZZLE DAZZLENESS

Channel Stupidity

When you take this oath at 3rd level, you gain the following two Channel Divinity options.

Incredible Charisma. As an action, you can shout the holy war call of FRAZZLE DAZZLE, "Sprrrrrrrrrrrrrruce!"  Everyone in a 15 feet radius must succeed on a constitution check, with the DC equal to your charisma or be blinded by holy light, dealing 1d12 radiant damage on a fail, and half as much on a pass.

Healed by the Tree. As an action, you can point to one enemy that is not at full health and scream, "BY FRAZZLE DAZZLE, I HEAL THY!" The target must make a Intelligence check or  take 1d8 psychic damage, from the power of the Sprrrrrrrrrrrrrrruce!  

Rooty Tooty, Fix Thine Booty. As a bonus action, you can speak the phrase "ROOTY TOOTY, FIX THINE BOOTY!" When you speak the holy words, your entire party is healed 1d4 temporary HP, in addition your party does not take damage  for the next round of combat.

Oath Spells

You gain oath spells at the paladin levels listed.

Oath Spells

Aura of Uglyness

Starting at 7th level, you and friendly creatures within 10 feet of you can’t be charmed while you are conscious.

At 18th level, the range of this aura increases to 30 feet.

Ha Ha, you can't Good or Evil me

Beginning at 15th level, you are always under the effects of a protection from evil and good spell.

Holy crap, my eyes!

At 20th level, as an action, you can emanate an aura of sunlight. For 1 minute, bright light shines from you in a 30-foot radius, and dim light shines 30 feet beyond that.

Whenever an enemy creature starts its turn in the bright light, the creature takes 10 Psychic damage.

In addition, for the duration, you have advantage on saving throws against spells cast by fiends, constructs, or undead.

Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a long rest.