College of Mockery

Bards of the College of Mockery are the most quick-witted and contemptuous Bards to have ever roamed the land. Always getting in the last word and roasting unfortunate souls to the point of literal death if they wish. While some may welcome such ludicrously brutal bards into their establishment there are others that  would turn them away at the door and call the guard on them.

d12	Mockery
1	"Careful shrugging, for thy head is not attached and may take leave if thou shruggest with too much vigor."
2	"Merely a glimpse of thy abhorrent visage would leave Lovecraft shuddering in horror, and Hades himself pities the woman who was cursed to birth thee."
3	"Thou art more shallow than a puddle of piss and twice as foul."
4	"Thou art too dim to insult, for the art of wordplay merely enterst thy ear and rattles about like a spoon in a pot, lacking any substantive intellectual capacity to stir into a hot rage."
5	"The silly, feeble devil thinks no one sees it. No, my fellow, we see you well enough. You haven't used enough make-up; you need more and other colors."
6	"You blubber and writhe along with all the devils in hell."
7	"The reward of such flattery is what your crass stupidity deserves. Therefore, we shall turn from you, a sevenfold stupid and blasphemous wise person."
8	"How is it, then, that you drivel like people in their second childhood?"
9	"Your words are so foolishly and ignorantly composed that I cannot believe you understand them."
10	"You relish and delight in the chance to stir up someone else's dirt like pigs that roll in manure and root around in it with their snouts."
11	"You shameful gluttons and servants of your bellies are better suited to be swineherds and keepers of dogs."
12	"For this, you deserve to have God deprive you of his Word and blessing and once again allow preachers of lies to arise who lead you to the devil - and wring sweat and blood out of you besides."

Bonus Proficiencies

When you join the College of Mockery at 3rd level, you gain proficiency in shields, three languages of your choice, you gain proficiency with shields, three skills of your choice, and know the cantrip vicious mockery. This doesn't apply to your number of cantrips known. If you already have this cantrip you may pick another cantrip of your choice from the bard spell list.

Mantle of Mockery

As a bonus action, you can expend one use of your Bardic Inspiration to grant yourself an aura of jovial spite. For 1 minute, when you cast the vicious mockery spell, the damage die is equal to your Bardic Inspiration Die and you have advantage on all Charisma checks. Additionally, while your mantle is active your vicious mockery ignores resistance to psychic damage.

Tasty Scorn

At 6th level, you may add your Charisma modifier to the damage of any spell from the school of enchantment or illusion. If you reduce a creature's hit points to 0 with the spell, vicious mockery all creatures of your choice within a 15-foot radius of the creature must succeed on a Charisma saving throw or be stunned until they take damage or the end of your next turn. Additionally, while your mantle is active your vicious mockery treats creatures with immunity to psychic damage as having resistance, taking half damage.

Verbal Onslaught

At 14th level, when a creature uses your Bardic Inspiration you can cast vicious mockery as a reaction, and move up to half your movement with the same reaction. This movement does not provoke attacks of opportunity. Additionally, while your mantle is active your vicious mockery ignores immunity to psychic damage. You also gain resistance to psychic damage.