School of Karen

As a member of the School of Karen, you will now refer to yourself as Karen and insist that others do as well. This name is something you should bear with honor. With this school, you tap into the deepest roots of enchantment magic to bend the will of your foes into "seeing it your way"... you know, the correct way.

Reverse Psychology

Your spellcasting ability is still intelligence but your modifier is calculated using negatives (So, your ability score is x-1). This means that if you have an intelligence ability score modifier of +2 it is actually -2 and a -2 modifier is actually +2. Starting when you select this school, you can choose to invert your current score to reflect its negative value. Any time you gain additional ability scores by leveling up, you can choose to lower your intelligence score instead of increasing it by watching Tucker Carlson on Fox News. Why be smart when you can just out-stupid the manager?

Manipulative Adept

Beginning when you select this school at 2nd level, the gold and time you must spend to copy an Enchantment spell into your spellbook is halved. Remember, Karen never pays full price.

Disapproving Stare

Starting at 2nd level when you choose this school, your disapproving stare can magically enthrall another creature into feeling guilty about something it didn't even do. As an action, choose one creature that you can see within 5 feet of you. If the target can see you, it must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw against your wizard spell save DC or be charmed by your disappointment until the end of your next turn. The charmed creature's speed drops to 0, and the creature is incapacitated and visibly upset.

On subsequent turns, you can use your action to stare harder and maintain this effect, extending its duration until the end of your next turn. However, the effect ends if you move more than 5 feet away from the creature, if the creature can not see you, or if the creature takes damage.

Once the effect ends, or if the creature succeeds on its initial saving throw against this effect, you can't use this feature on that creature again until you finish a long rest.

Guilt Trip

Beginning at 6th level, when a creature you can see within 30 feet of you disrespectfully makes an attack roll against you, you can use your (over)reaction to guilt them into attacking someone else, provided that another creature is within the attack's range. The attacker must make a Wisdom saving throw against your wizard spell save DC. On a failed save, the attacker must target the creature that is closest to it, not including you or itself. If multiple creatures are closest, the attacker chooses which one to target.

On a successful save, you can't use this feature on the attacker again until you finish a long rest.

You must choose to use this feature before knowing whether the attack hits or misses. Creatures that can't be charmed are immune to this effect.

Speak to the Manager

Starting at 10th level, you learn the Geas spell and can cast it without expending a spell slot for the explicit purpose of speaking to the dreaded manager. The spell functions the same with a few exceptions. The magical command you place on the creature is for it to take you to its immediate supervisor. A remove curse or greater restoration spell does not end the effects... even the gods can't help you now! (Wish still ends the effect).

You regain this ability only after completing a long rest but the Geas spell can still be used regularly with a spell slot.

Call the Police

At 14th level, you gain the ability to call the authorities on a creature while in a city or town that is not hostile towards you, has guards or something equivalent, and has a jail or prison. This requires 1 action. Given the authorities' absolute respect for you as a valued member of their society, they rush to you and arrive in 1 minute (unless a guard is close by). When they arrive, they must succeed in a Wisdom saving throw against your wizard spell save DC or take the targeted creature to jail. On a successful save, the authorities leave and you cannot use this ability again in the same city for 1d4 days.

In addition to this, when you first gain this ability you can select one race of humanoid to become proficient with. If you call the police on that race, the authorities have disadvantage on their saving throw for this ability.

You can use this ability again after a short rest. Nice job out there today... you ruined someone's chances of going to college or ever finding employment.