Hero For Hire

A parody Monk Subclass for Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition - 

Even among monks whose primary goal is o perfect their bodies, there are always those willing to push themselves beyond.  Every day upon waking these rare monks do 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and run 10 km.  Every single day.  They are the ultimate heroes.

"Having overwhelming power is boring as hell" 

                             -Saitama, Hero for Hire

Vow of Poverty

Starting at level 3 you can possess no one thing worth more than 10gp, nor carry more than 25 gp worth of coin.  If you do, you lose access to all monk abilities.

Serious Punch

At level 3 when you decide to attack with an unarmed strike, as a bonus action, you may spend one ki point.  If you do, you gain advantage on the attack.  A successful attack multiplies the amount of damage dice by 7.  

Immeasurable Speed and Reflexes

Once you reach level 6 you lose all hair.  You may spend a ki point to automatically succeed on an athletics or acrobatics check.  You cannot do this if you already rolled the check.

Serious Side Hops

At level 11 as your reaction you may spend a ki point to increase your DEX modifier by 20 for the purposes of AC or a Dexterity saving throw.

ONE PUNCH!!!

You are close to achieving perfection at level 17.  You may spend a ki point on a successful attack to instantly kill the attacked target.

Hopelessness

Once you reach level 17 anytime you give the final blow to a Target, you must make a Charisma saving throw (DC 8 + 10% of target's max health) or sulk uselessly for the next 24 hours.  During this time, you find the nearest corner, and mull over how there's no challenge left for you any more.  You respond to no outside stimuli, and this does not count as a short nor a long rest.