If you guys wanna share stories of the silliest, most stupid and just plain old dumb things that happened in your campaign experiences, talk about 'em in here.
I was playing with a large group and we had lost our memories (classic campaign starter) and one guy who had 18 intelligence bashed the hilt of the sword into his head in the hopes that when he woke up he would have his memories back. It didn't work.
Another thing was when a wizard in our party who accidentally burned people who botched. One time he burned one of our players, so in-game the player spit on the wizard and hit. The wizard, being very sensitive about germs, used burning hands on his own face. He crit and knocked himself unconscious.
Ooh, stupid stories! Once, we came across an old elven woman who insulted our dwarf. The woman was a fishmonger. Thanks to the insult, the dwarf spat in her face. She responded him by hitting him with a fish she had.
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For god's sake. Find a hobby or something. Sheesh. Please stop using this font.
In one my games are rouge got a special item which we’re called vestiges, he got one belonging to the raven queen, long story short he had to devot himself to her and it involved him going into a pool of blood. After he was done he went out to find a bath house, as soon as he entered the old women running the place was like “why are you covered in blood”,, “I talked to a god” was basically his response, throught even more talk the women became convinced he was a demon so she grabbed a broom stick and shaking it at are rouge. His response was to grab the broom from the old lady, causing the guards to show up, luckily he was able to convince them he wasn’t a demon and he had to pain for damages.
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Marvarax andSora (Dragonborn) The retired fighter and WIP scholar - Glory
Brythel(Dwarf), The dwarf with a gun - survival at sea
Jaylin(Human), Paladin of Lathander's Ancient ways - The Seven Saints (Azura Claw)
Urselles(Goblin), Cleric of Eldath- The Wizard's challenge
Viclas Tyrin(Half Elf), Student of the Elven arts- Indrafatmoko's Defiance in Phlan
I had a Dragonborn fighter almost break her neck after rolling a nat 1 on an acrobatics check, trying to show up another party member. I had to throw her a few coppers as citizens passed her thinking she was a street performer who was just really, REALLY bad at her job.
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I pick on no one. I leave everything to the fate of dice. -rolls 1- Dah, crap.
Yeah, so our group essentially got captured by a group of thugs and the main guy tried to enslave us and take our money. Of course, we all protested with bribery, intimidation, the usual stuff. However, our eccentric and basically crazy tiefling rogue decided that she was already a slave and was yelling at us to "respect our master!". Laughed so hard but we're all new players so I'll cut her some slack xD
A grief-stricken blacksmith came barging into the tavern, stating that his precious Diana had been taken by goblins.
We were so eager to help him, we left immediately...without any sort of directions.
Later, we found out that "Diana" was, in fact, an anvil that the blacksmith had affectionately named. So we had blundered about the forest, caves, and a temple for ritual sacrifice because we hadn't bothered to stop and ask for details.
In one of the campaigns I wasn't DMing, our party was on a boat with this old fisherman on our way to fight a dragon on a desert island (this isn't your stereotypical D&D campaign at all) and of course, a Kraken shows up. Our characters, being level 2, freaked out. The boat was not very large, being used for fishing, and we were level 2, so we started panicking. My character yelled out, "Lets jump overboard," not thinking that there was a Kraken out there. The captain jumped off the boat to save himself, but the Kraken jumped out of the water, gobbled him up, and started attacking our ship. I had a magic gazebo pendant (for no reason at all), which I threw at the Kraken, yelling the command word that would enlarge it to a full size gazebo, but nothing happened, and we lost our only magic possession our level 2 characters had. The Kraken proceeded to eat up two of our party members and then it left, stranding the rest of us in the middle of the ocean with a few pieces of driftwood, half of our belonging, no rations, and no islands in sight. That campaign did not last very long.
I was being a player and the dm who was a railroad wanted us to go to a tavern and become friends with the bartender and hate a soldier guy who would later turn out to be the villain. He didn't realize that my character was a chaotic evil murder hobo. I went in there, and massacred everyone there. The dm got so mad he grabbed one of my air soft guns and started shooting me with it.
This was a choice scenario from the last game I was in:
GM: You enter the cavern, which is about the size of a high school gymnasium. You don’t see the captured gnome anywhere, but you do see a giant silk egg sac hanging from the ceiling, about forty feet up. It’s pulsing a little bit.
Urzoth: Kill it with fire.
Eddie: Agreed.
Nidhogg: You got it.
Nidhogg casts firebolt at the egg sac, and we watch as the silk burns away.
GM: …You guys do remember what happened when you fought these spiders before, right?
Eddie: …Oh ****. These are fire spiders.
A dozen dog-sized spiders and hundreds of smaller spiders burst from the sac.
Eddie:(buries his face in his hands) We are so dumb.
Urzoth: Hey, you agreed to this plan!
Eddie: I know! I’m including me in the “we”!
GM: Roll for initiative.
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"We're the perfect combination of expendable and unkillable!"
Our DM convinced our Chaotic Evil Wizard of the existence of "Vecna's Head" as an artifact. We all know how to take possession of one of Vecna's artifacts. Despite all our protests he hired the town executioner and attempted to use the artifact. The player stormed out all the while yelling about the "killer DM".
Upon entering a dungeon, we had our Druid waste all his highest level spell slots summoning fish in order to drop them down a large hole with water at the bottom, to see if it would help us work out what the hole was. It was a toilet. We were later torn apart by zombies.
I started off a campaign by having the players read a bulletin board looking for jobs. The most lucrative one was a contract to do some work for the royal family, and one of the throwaways was a 50 silver reward for finding a missing sheepdog. Dragonborn Warlock with 6 INT and a tender spot for lost animals proceeded to ask every single humanoid or beast they encountered for the rest of that leg of campaign if they had seen the dog in the sketch. Including the queen. Multiple times. The dog was eventually located and returned to its owner. The Warlock eventually stepped off the path in a faerie forest when she heard some sprites bickering about where the animals had gone, got into a cyclical argument with said sprites, and was left behind by the rest of the party. Player and I agreed that she should probably roll a new character.
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"Can we please stop debating philosophy with the dapper crab?"
Oh, we also got sealed in another dungeon and nearly suffocated because none of us thought to check to see if the automatically closing door was possible to open again.
I was attempting to run the Waterdeep Dragon Heist with my group, but as you can probably expect from looking below into my whatever you call that. They thought, "Oh... Heist is in the name. It must be a robbery! We're gonna steal a dragon!" Nope. Just coins. But... 500 thousand of them! Previously I had run a homebrew one-shot just to test out the Bank heist. There was a bank in a town called Blaughmir (yes.. it was named that. don't judge me). They robbed it and they enjoyed t and wanted to do another one. I thought, "what a great idea to lead into WDDH!" I was wrong.
In the beginning when they were asked to find Floon, they didn't care. They went to the tavern, murdered everyone and decided to do something new.
After the incident in the tavern, the players decide to derail the campaign. They ask me, "Where is the biggest bank?" Investigation check. They roll a 3. "After 17 hours of looking through the city," I say, "you discover a large town square with beautiful buildings and an ornately decorated building with marble pillars that comes across as a bank. You see 6 men in light blue robes with wands in their hands patrolling the bank." They decide to leave. This is where the weird stuff happens. They ask me if there is an emu store. I tell them that there are two exotic pet stores in the city, the one in the dock ward having an emu. They head over and chaos begins. I practically stop dming and they dm themselves. The white bengal tiger escapes, they ride the emu out. All the guards are slaughtered. And that is how the campaign got derailed. With the players riding an emu off into the sunset. The End.
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it's been a long time...
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If you guys wanna share stories of the silliest, most stupid and just plain old dumb things that happened in your campaign experiences, talk about 'em in here.
it's been a long time...
I was playing with a large group and we had lost our memories (classic campaign starter) and one guy who had 18 intelligence bashed the hilt of the sword into his head in the hopes that when he woke up he would have his memories back. It didn't work.
Another thing was when a wizard in our party who accidentally burned people who botched. One time he burned one of our players, so in-game the player spit on the wizard and hit. The wizard, being very sensitive about germs, used burning hands on his own face. He crit and knocked himself unconscious.
Ooh, stupid stories! Once, we came across an old elven woman who insulted our dwarf. The woman was a fishmonger. Thanks to the insult, the dwarf spat in her face. She responded him by hitting him with a fish she had.
Misspelling "stupidity" in the title is intentional, right?
"The Epic Level Handbook wasn't that bad, guys.
Guys, pls."
In one my games are rouge got a special item which we’re called vestiges, he got one belonging to the raven queen, long story short he had to devot himself to her and it involved him going into a pool of blood. After he was done he went out to find a bath house, as soon as he entered the old women running the place was like “why are you covered in blood”,, “I talked to a god” was basically his response, throught even more talk the women became convinced he was a demon so she grabbed a broom stick and shaking it at are rouge. His response was to grab the broom from the old lady, causing the guards to show up, luckily he was able to convince them he wasn’t a demon and he had to pain for damages.
Marvarax and Sora (Dragonborn) The retired fighter and WIP scholar - Glory
Brythel(Dwarf), The dwarf with a gun - survival at sea
Jaylin(Human), Paladin of Lathander's Ancient ways - The Seven Saints (Azura Claw)
Urselles(Goblin), Cleric of Eldath- The Wizard's challenge
Viclas Tyrin(Half Elf), Student of the Elven arts- Indrafatmoko's Defiance in Phlan
I had a Dragonborn fighter almost break her neck after rolling a nat 1 on an acrobatics check, trying to show up another party member. I had to throw her a few coppers as citizens passed her thinking she was a street performer who was just really, REALLY bad at her job.
I pick on no one. I leave everything to the fate of dice.
-rolls 1-
Dah, crap.
-
Yeah, so our group essentially got captured by a group of thugs and the main guy tried to enslave us and take our money. Of course, we all protested with bribery, intimidation, the usual stuff. However, our eccentric and basically crazy tiefling rogue decided that she was already a slave and was yelling at us to "respect our master!". Laughed so hard but we're all new players so I'll cut her some slack xD
A grief-stricken blacksmith came barging into the tavern, stating that his precious Diana had been taken by goblins.
We were so eager to help him, we left immediately...without any sort of directions.
Later, we found out that "Diana" was, in fact, an anvil that the blacksmith had affectionately named. So we had blundered about the forest, caves, and a temple for ritual sacrifice because we hadn't bothered to stop and ask for details.
In one of the campaigns I wasn't DMing, our party was on a boat with this old fisherman on our way to fight a dragon on a desert island (this isn't your stereotypical D&D campaign at all) and of course, a Kraken shows up. Our characters, being level 2, freaked out. The boat was not very large, being used for fishing, and we were level 2, so we started panicking. My character yelled out, "Lets jump overboard," not thinking that there was a Kraken out there. The captain jumped off the boat to save himself, but the Kraken jumped out of the water, gobbled him up, and started attacking our ship. I had a magic gazebo pendant (for no reason at all), which I threw at the Kraken, yelling the command word that would enlarge it to a full size gazebo, but nothing happened, and we lost our only magic possession our level 2 characters had. The Kraken proceeded to eat up two of our party members and then it left, stranding the rest of us in the middle of the ocean with a few pieces of driftwood, half of our belonging, no rations, and no islands in sight. That campaign did not last very long.
it's been a long time...
I was being a player and the dm who was a railroad wanted us to go to a tavern and become friends with the bartender and hate a soldier guy who would later turn out to be the villain. He didn't realize that my character was a chaotic evil murder hobo. I went in there, and massacred everyone there. The dm got so mad he grabbed one of my air soft guns and started shooting me with it.
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This was a choice scenario from the last game I was in:
"We're the perfect combination of expendable and unkillable!"
Our DM convinced our Chaotic Evil Wizard of the existence of "Vecna's Head" as an artifact. We all know how to take possession of one of Vecna's artifacts. Despite all our protests he hired the town executioner and attempted to use the artifact. The player stormed out all the while yelling about the "killer DM".
My gnome monk has had his mind psychically invaded by the big bad. He found a magic book of forbidden knowledge the big bad wants.
DM: Tell me the secrets which you read in the book or I'll destroy your mind.
Me: I don't know because I didn't read it. I gave it to Fandar and went carousing instead.
DM: Oh shit you did didn't you.
Another time with my gnome monk (he was known for being dumb by this point)
DM: The tracks are small and look more skeletal than what you'd expect a humans to normally be.
Long pause
Me: Zombie children?
Upon entering a dungeon, we had our Druid waste all his highest level spell slots summoning fish in order to drop them down a large hole with water at the bottom, to see if it would help us work out what the hole was. It was a toilet. We were later torn apart by zombies.
| D100 Non-combat Random Encounter Table | Enchantments Galore |
| Pulsing Brazier Magic Trap | Gnome Capsule Machine | Language - A Primer |
I started off a campaign by having the players read a bulletin board looking for jobs. The most lucrative one was a contract to do some work for the royal family, and one of the throwaways was a 50 silver reward for finding a missing sheepdog. Dragonborn Warlock with 6 INT and a tender spot for lost animals proceeded to ask every single humanoid or beast they encountered for the rest of that leg of campaign if they had seen the dog in the sketch. Including the queen. Multiple times. The dog was eventually located and returned to its owner. The Warlock eventually stepped off the path in a faerie forest when she heard some sprites bickering about where the animals had gone, got into a cyclical argument with said sprites, and was left behind by the rest of the party. Player and I agreed that she should probably roll a new character.
"Can we please stop debating philosophy with the dapper crab?"
Oh, we also got sealed in another dungeon and nearly suffocated because none of us thought to check to see if the automatically closing door was possible to open again.
| D100 Non-combat Random Encounter Table | Enchantments Galore |
| Pulsing Brazier Magic Trap | Gnome Capsule Machine | Language - A Primer |
I was attempting to run the Waterdeep Dragon Heist with my group, but as you can probably expect from looking below into my whatever you call that. They thought, "Oh... Heist is in the name. It must be a robbery! We're gonna steal a dragon!" Nope. Just coins. But... 500 thousand of them! Previously I had run a homebrew one-shot just to test out the Bank heist. There was a bank in a town called Blaughmir (yes.. it was named that. don't judge me). They robbed it and they enjoyed t and wanted to do another one. I thought, "what a great idea to lead into WDDH!" I was wrong.
In the beginning when they were asked to find Floon, they didn't care. They went to the tavern, murdered everyone and decided to do something new.
After the incident in the tavern, the players decide to derail the campaign. They ask me, "Where is the biggest bank?" Investigation check. They roll a 3. "After 17 hours of looking through the city," I say, "you discover a large town square with beautiful buildings and an ornately decorated building with marble pillars that comes across as a bank. You see 6 men in light blue robes with wands in their hands patrolling the bank." They decide to leave. This is where the weird stuff happens. They ask me if there is an emu store. I tell them that there are two exotic pet stores in the city, the one in the dock ward having an emu. They head over and chaos begins. I practically stop dming and they dm themselves. The white bengal tiger escapes, they ride the emu out. All the guards are slaughtered. And that is how the campaign got derailed. With the players riding an emu off into the sunset. The End.
it's been a long time...