School of Burger

Youve learnt that making food is very similar to using magic for you, so you decided that it would be more silly to focus more on the food part

Cook

Beginning when you select this school at 2nd level, you learn how to make food much faster and takes less resources  (probably should talk to your dm about how long it takes cuz i cant be bothered to write it) and it heals every creature who eats it equal to your proficiency bonus + your intelligence modifier + your level

Euphoria

Beginning at 2nd level, as a bonus action, you can choose a creature you can see within 60ft (you can choose yourself too) and make them feel euphoric (like the kind of feeling you get after eating a good burger or something). The creature gets a +1 to 3 different stats of your choice, gets +10 to their walking speed and advantage against wisdom saves. This lasts 1 minute, but it increases to 2 minutes at level 5, 3 minutes at level 10 and 5 minutes at level 15. Once you use this feature, you cant use it again until you finish a long rest

Saucy

Starting at 6th level, when you cast a damaging cantrip or make a melee attack against a creature, the creature gets covered in a sauce for 1 minute (any sauce, you pick, dont pick cum though) and acts like everywhere is difficult terrain. If it's immune to difficult terrain, then it's not immune to this because I said so. Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

Cooking Connection

Beginning at 10th level, you can turn any food or drinkable liquid that you can see, rotten or contaminated, its apperance wont change. You can also do this to undead creatures as a bonus action, basically making them rot faster. Any creature that drinks or eats the rotted or contaminated liquid or food, takes 2d6 poison damage and gets the poisoned condition. Any undead creature you use this feature on will take 1d6 radiant damage at the start of your turn for 2 minutes. When you use this feature on an undead, you cant do so again until you finish a short or long rest

Gordon Ramsey

Starting at 14th level. If you eat something and a creature can see or hear you, they become frightened of you for 1 minute. This works on any amount of creatures, but you can choose who cant be affected. This can be used 2 times, then you have to long rest to use it again

Any creature that gets affected by this will also feel kinda bad for the rest of the day, like they just disappointed their parents. This wont do anything in combat, it's just kinda funny