Base Class: Cleric
Gods of the Espresso Domain would have little to no self control or be generally known for as gods of addictive substances like Dionysus, Soma, or Acan. I have thought up a god simply named Capucio (based on cappuccino) as a homebrew deity who represents caawwffffffeeeeee.
Source: parody of tempest domain, (copy and pasted from "w!k!d0t" article then altered to the functionalities of this parody subclass)
Cleric Level | spells
1.| | Coffee cloud, Caffeine Wave
3.| | Waft of Coffee, Shatter
5.| | Call Latte, Cold Brew storm
7.| | Control water, Frappuccino Storm
9.| | Destructive Wave, Anxious Plague
Bonus Proficiencies
You gain proficieny in alchemist's supplies. Mainly to produce coffee and quench your addiction.
Wrath of the Cappucino
Also at 1st level, you can viciously burn attackers with the fire of a McDonalds coffee or freeze them with the coldness of a Starbucks Frappuccino in winter. When a creature within 5 feet of you that you can see hits you with an attack, you can use your reaction to cause the creature to make a Dexterity saving throw. The creature takes 2d8 fire or cold damage(your choice) on a failed saving throw, and half as much damage on a successful one.
You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Wisdom modifier (a minimum of once). You regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.
Channel Divinity
You can mess someone up with the power of your espresso through fire and cold damage.
When you roll fire or cold damage, you can use your Channel Divinity to deal maximum damage, instead of rolling.
Caffeinated Strike
At 6th level, when you deal fire damage to a Large or smaller creature, you can also push it up to 10 feet away from you.
Divine Sip
At level 8 you gain the ability to add 1d8 fire or cold damage to a spell attack by summoning the power of espresso in the form of an espresso drink and dramatically sipping from it. When you reach level fourteen it increases to 2d8.
Caffiene High
At the seventeenth level, you have double walking speed when not in rough terrain and have normal walking speed when in rough terrain.
Espresso Domain Spells
Homebrew and borrowed spells from the tempest spells list, refer to chart above.
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