Oath of SPACE KING

A foe stands before you. They wear sundered garb, archaic symbols reaching, clawing to every slab of skin they show without an ounce of embarrassment. They howl at you, belligerent and distasteful. They have blue hair. They are... female.

Then, they lie behind you. They themselves have become sundered from your blade in a single strike, and their black blood speckles everything from your pauldrons to your codpiece. Later, you will burn this armor and request new adornments, and the land where you fought, now soaked in filth, must be wiped clean with fire.

In your hand lies a sword. In your hand, this blade has lifted like an angel wing and fallen like a Genobomb upon every foe that signed the permission slip of death by standing in your way. In your hand, it has been honored by the soldiers who march with you, and has been an honor to wield among such worthy flock.

In your heart lies two words, for it is in these that all things are possible. It is in these words that all others quake in fear... or envy. It is these words that have razed planets of vile alien life, and raised you ever since your first days in the Academiums. These words foster life, destroy stars, feed the sick, and heal the hungry. You hail them, and you will never cease hailing them.

You hail... SPACE KING.

Tenets of SPACE KING:

In Globules We Trust. As those in SPACE KING's ranks have been saved from the unholy torture of being a woman, in your Globules lie your genetic matrix. So, if you die in battle, your Globules can be reinserted into an involuntary host to bring forth your Resurrection. Thus, Globules are SPACE KING's most important gift to you, for in them, you are deathless, and your crusade-like march across the realms will be endless.

Life is Made for Man. SPACE KING has decreed that us humans, and ONLY us humans, are worthy enough to don his sigils and follow him into glory. This gives no room for disgusting... retched... fetid... untrustworthy... slightly annoying... aliens. Be it in your own backyard or another dimension, if it ain't a dude, stab it through!

Girls are Gross. They just are, man. I don't wanna get cooties or be, like, tempted to fall from the path of SPACE KING just because a foul siren has, like, said hi to me or whatever... they just are, dude. No girls allowed!

SPACE KING. You must follow the path in which SPACE KING has given you. He is your guide, your light, your guardian angel, and the dad you never had all wrapped into one. Be keen in ear though, friend, for his work is not up to interpretation, and any cohort of yours that may "disagree" with the truth in your heart is no longer protected by SPACE KING and is free to fall upon your sword in kind.

Oath of SPACE KING Spells 

3rd: Sanctuary, Purify Food & Drink

5th: Spritiual Weapon, Prayer of Healing

9th: Fear, Beacon of Hope

13th: Divination, Commune

17th: Guardian of Faith, Mass Suggestion

 

Level 3: Channel Divinity: Order on High

Channel Divinity: When you take this oath at 3rd level, you gain the following two Channel Divinity options.

 

Reload Boltcaster. You always have a gun, you just can't use it because it's always out of ammo. Thankfully, SPACE KING comes in clutch and summons a full magazine. Roll a number of d4's equal to your level, and you may split the damage rolled between up to 6 enemies within 30 ft.

Summon Boy. High Command issues you a Boysack, so that in the event of death, you have a host on-hand who automatically revives you to get back in the fight. On your next failed death save, you may negate it and wipe any longstanding failures. However, upon doing so you are highly vulnerable to attack; your AC is 7 and your total HP is quarted until your first long rest, and if you die while in this state, your Globules are unprotected and so you die a true death.

 

Level 7: Aura of the Brotherhood

Aura of the Brotherhood

Starting at 7th level, you emenate a 10 ft aura that gives disadvantage on saving throws for female non-human enemies.

 

Level 15: The Blessed Word

 

The Blessed Word: At 15th level, you become aware of SPACE KING'S voice echoing across the realms. He wants to speak to you! You have the option of letting the DM appraise you however they feel is appropriate, or you can believe you know better than them the word of SPACE KING. Depending on His word, you gain the related buff:

Joy: You are most emphatic Space King approves of your work, so you are now immune to being frightened and now inherently have Protection from Evil and Good and Energy.

Anger: You are penitent for upsetting your Lord, so you can now flog yourself, subtracting however much HP you would like from yourself, multiplying it by 2, and adding it to your next damage roll.

Disappointment: You will do whatever it takes to come back into His good graces, so now exhaustion levels are twice as hard to accumulate.

Boredom: He will notice you, and you will make sure of it. Your voice now booms up to 200 ft away, and once a long rest, you can inflict Deafness on all enemies and 5th level Mass healing Word on all allies in your radius.

Dorselessness: You now believe His crusades have led him down an incomprehensible path. You reach out to him and can perform a Power Word Kill with the language of the Void, but doing so will add a special Death Save Superfailure that cannot be wiped out even upon Resurrection.

 

Level 20: SPACE KING's Little Pogchamp

SPACE KING's Little Pogchamp: At 20th level, you can now lead a company of men under your leadership, Captain. High Command has deemed you worthy to lead the march towards the light. You now have 4 solders which you can call in and out of battle. They will do whatever you say, even if it is to die. Refer to the Knight stat block in the 5e Monster Manual for your soldiers.