College of Stand-Up Comedy

Bards of the College of Stand-Up Comedy turn wit into a weapon and every triumph, disaster, and awkward silence into material. Where other bards rehearse ballads or weave enchantments through music, these performers thrive on timing, observation, and the ability to seize a moment before anyone else quite realizes what happened.

A Stand-Up Bard does not merely tell jokes. They work the room. An enemy's spectacular failure, an ally's impossible success, or even a spell going catastrophically wrong can become the setup for the next punchline.

Level 3: Cutting Material

You learn the Vicious Mockery cantrip if you don't already know it. It doesn't count against the number of Bard cantrips you know.

Whenever you deal damage withVicious Mockery, you add your Charisma modifier to the damage.

In addition, when a creature fails its saving throw against your Vicious Mockery, choose one of the following effects:

• Rattled. The creature subtracts 1d4 from the next saving throw it makes before the start of your next turn.
• Flustered. The creature can't make Opportunity Attacks until the start of your next turn.
• Work the Crowd. You can immediately attempt to use your Read the Room feature on the failed saving throw without expending a use of Bardic Inspiration.

You can choose Work the Crowd in this way only once per turn.

Level 3: Read the Room

You have an uncanny ability to recognize when something remarkable has just happened and turn it into part of the performance.

When a creature you can see within 60 feet of yourself succeeds or fails on a D20 Test, determine the roll's margin of success or failure. On a success, the margin equals the amount by which the roll exceeded the target number. On a failure, the margin equals the amount by which the roll fell short of the target number.

Roll a d6. If the margin is greater than the number rolled, or the d20 roll was natural 1 or natural 20, you can take a Reaction and expend one use of your Bardic Inspiration to choose one of the following effects:

• Heckle. Choose the creature whose D20 Test triggered this feature. Roll your Bardic Inspiration die. Until the start of your next turn, the creature subtracts the number rolled from the next D20 Test it makes.
• Crowd Shot. Choose a different enemy within 60 feet of yourself that can hear you. Until the start of your next turn, the creature subtracts 1d4 from the next D20 Test it makes.
• Hype. Choose one ally within 60 feet of yourself that can hear you. That creature gains Temporary Hit Points equal to one roll of your Bardic Inspiration die plus your Charisma modifier.
• Win Them Over. Choose one creature within 60 feet of yourself that can hear you. The creature must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC or have the Charmed condition until the start of your next turn.

Level 6: Yes, and...

When one joke lands, you know how to leave the opening for someone else to continue the bit.

When a creature fails its saving throw against your Vicious Mockery, it becomes Material for 1 minute. If a creature that is already Material becomes Material again, the duration resets.

While a creature is Material, another creature can trigger your Callback by doing one of the following:

• dealing damage to the Material creature;
• causing the Material creature to fail a saving throw;
• being the target of an attack that the Material creature misses.

When a Callback is triggered, the Material effect ends, and the affected creature takes Psychic damage equal to one roll of your Bardic Inspiration die.

In addition, the creature that triggered the Callback gains one of your Bardic Inspiration dice without expending one of your uses of Bardic Inspiration. The die is otherwise used normally, but it is lost if it hasn't been used by the end of your next turn.

You can't trigger your own Callback.

Level 6: Tough Crowd

Years of performing before indifferent, hostile, and occasionally murderous audiences have made you unusually difficult to intimidate.

You have Advantage on saving throws against the Charmed or Frightened conditions.

Additionally, when you succeed on a saving throw against being Charmed or Frightened, you can use your Reaction to cast Vicious Mockery against the creature that caused the effect, provided the creature is within the spell's range.

Level 14: Kill the Room

At the height of your craft, a sufficiently vicious punchline can spread through an audience like wildfire.

When a creature fails its saving throw against your Vicious Mockery, you can turn the spell into a supernatural chain reaction.

Upon expending a use of Kill the Room, you can immediately cast Vicious Mockery as free action to any target, including the initial target. You may repeat the casting of Vicious Mockery as free action to any selected target until any target succeeds a saving throw against Vicious Mockery, or the amount of total Vicious Mockery casts, including the one that initiated Kill the Room, is equal or exceed the Charisma modifier. Each Vicious Mockery cast as free action also benefits from Cutting Material and Yes, And... features.

Kill the Room has 1 usage that is regained on a Short Rest.