Mental Instability

Your innate magic comes from your inability to distinguish fantasy from reality; either by chance or possibly a higher cosmic design, your mental instability has led you to discover previously unknown truths, which others cannot begin to comprehend. You believe that your entire past is a fiction which was devised by some other being who has only created you to participate in a game. In fact, you believe this to be a universal truth. You will often address people with the name of the being who you believe controls them, bring up facts related to their "class", and ask about their remaining "hit points". You are dangerously unpredictable due to your disassociation with reality, and others, even the most powerful of sorcerers, are often mystified by the impossible feats you are able to accomplish.

Plot Armor

You were created to be an adventurer, a hero, a legend, or maybe just to be an annoying pain in the DM's ass. Because of this you have the ultimate protection... plot armor! Yes, that's right! You can never die! You might fail all three of your death saving throws, but when this happens, the being who created you can simply reintroduce your character sheet into the game with an explanation on how you were revived or how you were never really dead to begin with. Alternatively, the being who created you can create someone new, while retaining the right to reintroduce your character sheet at a later date. This includes the right to dramatically reveal that the new character was really you all along! Returning to the game will always take a number of days equal to the result of a d12 roll, unless your allies can arrange for another method of revival and return you to the game sooner.

WARNING: Plot armor is subject to DM approval. Your DM may decide to strip you of your plot armor if they are fed up with your antics. Please be kind to your DM, and remember to tip your waiters.

In additional to the previously mentioned benefits, your plot armor can also protect you in combat. While you are not wearing any armor, you can use your reaction to roll a d4 and add the result either to your AC for a single attack or to your dexterity saving throw. Your plot armor dice becomes 2d4 at 11th level.

Regeneration

You have learned how to manipulate your own hit dice, giving you an unnatural ability to heal. Whenever you spend a hit die to heal and you roll a 1 or 2, you can re-roll that hit die and use the higher result. You can also spend a hit die as a bonus action, but you cannot do so again until you finish a short or long rest. At higher levels, you can spend a hit die as a bonus action more often. When you reach 9th level, you can do so twice between rests, and when you reach 17th level, you can do so three times between rests.

Prone to Violence

Your mental instability makes you unpredictable and prone to violence. You are proficient with all martial weapons, and you gain a bonus to your melee weapon attack and damage rolls equal to your Charisma modifier.

Sorcery+ Points™

Starting at 6th level, when you kill your enemies you gain Sorcery+ Points™. At 6th level you only gain one Sorcery+ Point™ per kill, at 12th level you gain two per kill, and at 18th level you gain three per kill. Whenever you gain Sorcery+ Points™, they do not stack with Sorcery+ Points™ that you had previously obtained. Instead, you will have a number of Sorcery+ Points™ equal to the higher of the two numbers.

While the new and improved Sorcery+ Points™ can still be used like the boring sorcery points that other sorcerers have, you can also spend your Sorcery+ Points™ when you take the attack action to make an additional attack for every Sorcery+ Point™ you decide to spend.

Meta-Metamagic

When you reach 14th level, you're so meta that even your metamagic is meta. You learn the prestidigitation cantrip, and you gain two of the following meta-metamagic options of your choice. You gain another one at 16th, at 18th level, and at 20th level, and you can modify your selected meta-metamagic options after a long rest.

Just a Flesh Wound

As a bonus action, you can spend a Sorcery+ Point™ to heal with a hit die without actually spending the hit die. While this meta-metamagic option is selected, any lost limb or other such grievous injury will regenerate and heal after a number of days equal to the result of a d12 roll. For example if you rolled 6 days for a damaged eye and 8 days for a missing leg, your eye would recover on the sixth day and your leg would recover two days later on the eighth day. No progress will be made on any day in which you have levels of exhaustion, and if this meta-metamagic option is swapped out for another while you are waiting for an injury to regenerate and heal, all progress will halt until this option is reselected.

Laser Sword

When you can cast a transmutation spell of 1st level or higher, you can spend a Sorcery+ Point™ to ignite a bladed weapon with radiant energy, but you must make stupid whooshing sounds as you swing it around. When you hit a target with the ignited weapon, the target takes an additional d6 of radiant damage. You can also use your reaction while the blade is ignited to redirect a ranged weapon or spell attack where you are the only target of the attack or when you are providing cover to the sole target of the attack. When you do so, you make a ranged spell attack against a target that you can see within 30 feet or you may choose to not target anyone. Once you hit a target with a melee attack or redirect a ranged attack, your blade will loose its radiant energy unless you choose to spend an additional Sorcery+ Point™ to continue the effect. The effect ends one minute after the initial ignition of the blade or when you dismiss the effect as a bonus action.

Madness

When you cast an Abjuration spell of 1st level or higher, you can spend a Sorcery+ Point™ to force a target within 30 ft to make a wisdom saving throw against your spell casting DC. If they fail, they share your madness and become aware of the grid on which they stand.

For one minute, their square becomes a prison from which they cannot escape. They cannot interact with anything outside of their square, which includes actions such as making an attack or casting a spell where the target or area of effect is outside of their square. You can dismiss the effect as a bonus action, and the effect ends if the target takes any damage. At the end of each of their turns, the target can make another wisdom saving throw to end the effect. Your madness will not work again on a target who was previously affected by your madness until that target finishes a long rest.

If your DM is using theater of the mind, this option has no effect.

Magic Word

Did you say the magic word? If so, the DM might let you spend a Sorcery+ Point™ to do what you want. You cannot use this meta-metamagic to use other meta-metamagic options.

Monster Manual

When you cast a divination spell of 1st level or higher, you can spend a Sorcery+ Point™ to look at a monster's game statistics.

Mutant

When you cast a transmutation spell of 1st level or higher, you can spend a Sorcery+ Point™ to grow an extra arm, but you cannot have more than four arms. While it grows, your extra arm can draw a weapon, and when you use the attack action, your extra arms can make additional offhand attacks. You cannot grow an extra arm if you are wearing armor, and any clothing worn is torn during the arms growth.

If you take slashing damage while you have an extra arm, you must making a constitution saving throw against a DC equal to 8 + half the slashing damage you received. If you fail, the attack amputates one of your extra arms.

Your body reabsorbs your extra arms at the end of a long rest, and if any of your arms were amputated, they cannot be regrown until the stub is reabsorbed at the end of a long rest.

Pacifist

You no longer need to kill your enemies to gain your Sorcery+ Points™. As an action, you can spend a sorcery point to gain a Sorcery+ Point™.

Protagonist's Plot Armor

Whenever you use your plot armor dice, you can choose to use a Sorcery+ Point™ instead of your reaction. When you use a Sorcery+ Point™ for your plot armor dice, you gain a Sorcery+ Point™ if the attack misses or you succeed on your dexterity saving throw.

Safeword

When you are the only target of an attack or a spell, you can spend a Sorcery+ Point™ as a reaction to say a safeword. If the creature making the attack or casting the spell can hear you and comprehends your language, they must make a wisdom saving throw against your spell casting DC. If they fail, they do not make their attack or cast their spell, and they cannot attack you or target you again for 1 minute. The creature forfeits any spell slots that they would have used if they had cast a spell, and at the end of each of their turns, the creature can make another wisdom saving throw to end the effect. This effect ends if you damage the creature in any way, and your safeword will not work again on a creature who previously succeed their saving throw until that creature finishes a long rest.

Silly Talk

When you cast an enchantment spell of 1st level or higher, you can spend a Sorcery+ point™ to force a target within 30 ft to make a charisma saving throw against your spell casting DC. If they fail, the target must speak with a silly accent of your choice for 5 minutes (in real time, not those silly 6 second "turns" that always take forever to get through). If the being that controls the target cannot fake the accent, then the target becomes confused and has difficulty speaking, as the being that controls the target should give it their best attempt!

The Emperor's New Clothes

When you cast an illusion spell of 1st level or higher, you can spend a Sorcery+ point™ to force a target within 30 ft to make a charisma saving throw against your spell casting DC. If they fail, you can alter the appearance of their clothing and makeup or make them appear to be wearing no clothing at all (no affect on AC). This illusion ends after either you dismiss the effect as a bonus action, after an hour, or when the target attempts to change / remove their clothing / makeup.

Good Grief

At 18th level, whenever a creature is struck by an attack that would reduce them to zero hit points, you can use your reaction to take the damage for them, but you must shout out "that's my kill" when you do so. You appear where the creature was struck, while the creature reappears at the nearest open location. If on your next turn you kill the creature, you gain twice as many Sorcery+ Points™.

This ability is available to you regardless of your distance from the battle, the current plane in which you are located, or even knowledge of the killing blow. As long as the being who controls you is aware of the kill, this ability is available to you. You cannot avoid the incoming damage when using this ability, and once you've used this ability, you cannot do so again until you finish a long rest.