im posting this here just in case. this seems to be the safest place to post stuff you're not sure of which category it belongs in.
this is the story of how me and my party defeated an orcan sorcerer. this all happened during a live stream that i was a part of, but the stream cut out and we lost the footage of the entire fight. so i thought that id tell you all about it here. this needs to be shared with the whole world and not be let to drift away into the aether. ill try to write down everything i can recall from the fight. just keep in mind that not all of the stuff i write here is 100% what happened. i mostly remember the stuff that happened to me. (im an egomaniac, i know)
it all started after we beat a group of bantit/cultists on the road. after setting up camp for the night (and checking out some nice pictures of teifling ladies) we went to the forest that was full of dryads (or dyrads as my dm called them) to do some garden work because the forest was getting corrupted or something. (i was kinda zoning out at this point, so i dont remember why we were doing it)
as we were helping them restore their gardens and stuff, a strange purple mist started to close in on us. we prepared are weapons and went into the mist, only to find hundreds of skeletons for many different races lurking towards us. we then all charged into battle. our human cleric summonen a bear from the woods to help us. the skeletons were closing in quickly, so our gnome bard (who was named "captain spankles") casted grease onto the battlefield. i ended up slipping on that grease and a bunch of skeletons came in swinging at me while i was down. they all missed by the way. then my character, who is a dragonborn paladin btw, said: "ha! what kind of pathetic losers miss a target thats 5 feet in front of- oh..." (earlier i rolled a 1 on a javelin toss against an enemy that was right in front of me) a dryad then yelled out "what kind of paladin slips and falls in grease during a battle" or something like that. i then replied "hey, shut up! you want me to burn ya?" (i gave my character somewhat of a similar voice to daruk from BOTW)
then after that, the bear that was summoned by the cleric came charging in, only to slip and slide on the grease. it did knock over a bunch of skeletons though. the problem is, it came crashing right into my character, landing right on top of me. i mumbled "useless bear", and the bear gave me the biggest death glare imaginable and my character replied by saying "oh yo-you misunderstand! w-where i come from, useless is a compliment! like for example, 'boy are government sure is usless, am i right?'" the bear then got off of me to go back into battle. the bard and cleric were still trying to keep their balance when on the grease. eventually, me and the cleric felt this dark energy coming from somewhere in the fog. we tried to follow it and ended up in a clearing where we saw this orc dressed in a purple robe, who we once thought was no real threat to us, hovering in the air and raising the dead from beneath the ground.
he thanked us for distracting the dryads while he dug up some evil artifacts that were buried around the forest line. the cleric responded by informing him that they never intended to help the orc. he then told us that he will at least make good use of our corpses in his undead army after he kills us. it was then when i realized something. i said do the DM, "so hes an orc, he wears purple robes, and he uses dark magic? is this freakin gul'dan from warcraft?" the DM told me that he wasnt thinking about gul'dan at all when making this villain. (lies) the bard suddenly remembered that he had a magic scroll that was written in draconic and gave it to me. it was supposed to be a turn undead spell. i made a joke by yelling "GOD DAMNIT, ITS JUST HIS PHONE NUMBER!" (our bard basically wants to **** anything that breathes) i read the spell and instead of a turn undead spell, it was more of a turn undead into ash spell instead. i had a big barrier around me that instantly disintegrating any undead that touched it.
we then started to rush towards the orc (who i will now call gul'dan from now on) with the spell scroll in my hand, turning every skeleboy in our way to dust. then some skeletal archers began to shoot at us from afar. the bard once again tried to use grease. but this time, he aimed it at gul'dan. gul'dan deflected it back at us and i slipped and went sliding away yelling "SCREW YOU GUUUUUUUuuuuys". but at least i disintegrated more skeles as it happened.
ill finish the rest of this story when i have the time. trust me, it gets better. ps sorry if i posted this in the wrong place.
Click ✨ HERE ✨ For My Youtube Videos featuring Guides, Tips & Tricks for using D&D Beyond. Need help with Homebrew? Check out ✨ thisFAQ/Guide thread ✨ by IamSposta.
im posting this here just in case. this seems to be the safest place to post stuff you're not sure of which category it belongs in.
this is the story of how me and my party defeated an orcan sorcerer. this all happened during a live stream that i was a part of, but the stream cut out and we lost the footage of the entire fight. so i thought that id tell you all about it here. this needs to be shared with the whole world and not be let to drift away into the aether. ill try to write down everything i can recall from the fight. just keep in mind that not all of the stuff i write here is 100% what happened. i mostly remember the stuff that happened to me. (im an egomaniac, i know)
it all started after we beat a group of bantit/cultists on the road. after setting up camp for the night (and checking out some nice pictures of teifling ladies) we went to the forest that was full of dryads (or dyrads as my dm called them) to do some garden work because the forest was getting corrupted or something. (i was kinda zoning out at this point, so i dont remember why we were doing it)
as we were helping them restore their gardens and stuff, a strange purple mist started to close in on us. we prepared are weapons and went into the mist, only to find hundreds of skeletons for many different races lurking towards us. we then all charged into battle. our human cleric summonen a bear from the woods to help us. the skeletons were closing in quickly, so our gnome bard (who was named "captain spankles") casted grease onto the battlefield. i ended up slipping on that grease and a bunch of skeletons came in swinging at me while i was down. they all missed by the way. then my character, who is a dragonborn paladin btw, said: "ha! what kind of pathetic losers miss a target thats 5 feet in front of- oh..." (earlier i rolled a 1 on a javelin toss against an enemy that was right in front of me) a dryad then yelled out "what kind of paladin slips and falls in grease during a battle" or something like that. i then replied "hey, shut up! you want me to burn ya?" (i gave my character somewhat of a similar voice to daruk from BOTW)
then after that, the bear that was summoned by the cleric came charging in, only to slip and slide on the grease. it did knock over a bunch of skeletons though. the problem is, it came crashing right into my character, landing right on top of me. i mumbled "useless bear", and the bear gave me the biggest death glare imaginable and my character replied by saying "oh yo-you misunderstand! w-where i come from, useless is a compliment! like for example, 'boy are government sure is usless, am i right?'" the bear then got off of me to go back into battle. the bard and cleric were still trying to keep their balance when on the grease. eventually, me and the cleric felt this dark energy coming from somewhere in the fog. we tried to follow it and ended up in a clearing where we saw this orc dressed in a purple robe, who we once thought was no real threat to us, hovering in the air and raising the dead from beneath the ground.
he thanked us for distracting the dryads while he dug up some evil artifacts that were buried around the forest line. the cleric responded by informing him that they never intended to help the orc. he then told us that he will at least make good use of our corpses in his undead army after he kills us. it was then when i realized something. i said do the DM, "so hes an orc, he wears purple robes, and he uses dark magic? is this freakin gul'dan from warcraft?" the DM told me that he wasnt thinking about gul'dan at all when making this villain. (lies) the bard suddenly remembered that he had a magic scroll that was written in draconic and gave it to me. it was supposed to be a turn undead spell. i made a joke by yelling "GOD DAMNIT, ITS JUST HIS PHONE NUMBER!" (our bard basically wants to **** anything that breathes) i read the spell and instead of a turn undead spell, it was more of a turn undead into ash spell instead. i had a big barrier around me that instantly disintegrating any undead that touched it.
we then started to rush towards the orc (who i will now call gul'dan from now on) with the spell scroll in my hand, turning every skeleboy in our way to dust. then some skeletal archers began to shoot at us from afar. the bard once again tried to use grease. but this time, he aimed it at gul'dan. gul'dan deflected it back at us and i slipped and went sliding away yelling "SCREW YOU GUUUUUUUuuuuys". but at least i disintegrated more skeles as it happened.
ill finish the rest of this story when i have the time. trust me, it gets better. ps sorry if i posted this in the wrong place.
Um... 'Kay?
Thanks?
*shrug*
Click ✨ HERE ✨ For My Youtube Videos featuring Guides, Tips & Tricks for using D&D Beyond.
Need help with Homebrew? Check out ✨ this FAQ/Guide thread ✨ by IamSposta.
what? is this not the right place to post dnd stories?
Usually stuff like this ends up in the "Story and Lore" section, but it's not like it is any more out of place than anything else in General is.
i thought stories and lore meant stuff that happened in the dnd universe and not some stupid stuff that happens to you and your party.
If you go there and see what is often posted, you'll find that it doesn't.