I now have a feeling I want to make more feats for the Notes... yours are somewhat unbalanced (see the deleted feedback) but extremely inspiring.
I have made some of the changes, although I forgot some of them... what can I do to make them more fair? if you see my most recant edits (mainly just the ones you said), are they more fair?
I now have a feeling I want to make more feats for the Notes... yours are somewhat unbalanced (see the deleted feedback) but extremely inspiring.
I have made some of the changes, although I forgot some of them... what can I do to make them more fair? if you see my most recant edits (mainly just the ones you said), are they more fair?
You've done all the prerequisite edits they're now on par with the power of the feats from Tasha's (powerful but good)
the next time I get at least 2 feedback posts on one content post, I will create a feat, spell, or other small homebrew, bonus and ahead of schedule!
the next time I get 4 feedback posts on one content post, I will create a homebrew subclass, race, or other large homebrew, bonus and ahead of schedule!
the next time I get 6 feedback posts on one content post, I will create an entire homebrew class, bonus and ahead of schedule!
it's been a little while everyone. sorry about that! I have a ton of content coming (3 subclasses, 4 spells, and a variant rule), and I'll hopefully have it done my tomorrow. if not, it should be soon.
it's been a little while everyone. sorry about that! I have a ton of content coming (3 subclasses, 4 spells, and a variant rule), and I'll hopefully have it done my tomorrow. if not, it should be soon.
earlier I created rewards for feedback from multiple people, on one post. now I'm creating rewards for one person, on multiple posts.
When one person has given 2 total feedback posts, I will (if they want) put their dndbeyond username in the back of the book for credits if/when I publish on the DM's guild.
When you have given 5 total feedback posts, I will follow you.
When you have given 10 total feedback posts, I will make (almost) any requested homebrew, bonus and ahead of schedule.
When you have given 15 total feedback posts, I will (if you want) bold your dndbeyond username as a special contributor in the back of the book, if/when I publish on the DM's guild. additionally, I will (if you want) name a spell, monster, or something else after your dndbeyond username (example: HombrewMindFlayer's Abyssal Ray).
additionally, I will thanks every feedback post, so more feedback given equals more thanks on your profile!
earlier I created rewards for feedback from multiple people, on one post. now I'm creating rewards for one person, on multiple posts.
When one person has given 2 total feedback posts, I will (if they want) put their dndbeyond username in the back of the book for credits if/when I publish on the DM's guild.
When you have given 5 total feedback posts, I will follow you.
When you have given 10 total feedback posts, I will make (almost) any requested homebrew, bonus and ahead of schedule.
When you have given 15 total feedback posts, I will (if you want) bold your dndbeyond username as a special contributor in the back of the book, if/when I publish on the DM's guild. additionally, I will (if you want) name a spell, monster, or something else after your dndbeyond username (example: HombrewMindFlayer's Abyssal Ray).
additionally, I will thanks every feedback post, so more feedback given equals more thanks on your profile!
They're cool! I care not for followers (I am a nomad, not a social-media-hyped-glamour-starlet), and I don't need my name in any books, but I will always give feedback!
earlier I created rewards for feedback from multiple people, on one post. now I'm creating rewards for one person, on multiple posts.
When one person has given 2 total feedback posts, I will (if they want) put their dndbeyond username in the back of the book for credits if/when I publish on the DM's guild.
When you have given 5 total feedback posts, I will follow you.
When you have given 10 total feedback posts, I will make (almost) any requested homebrew, bonus and ahead of schedule.
When you have given 15 total feedback posts, I will (if you want) bold your dndbeyond username as a special contributor in the back of the book, if/when I publish on the DM's guild. additionally, I will (if you want) name a spell, monster, or something else after your dndbeyond username (example: HombrewMindFlayer's Abyssal Ray).
additionally, I will thanks every feedback post, so more feedback given equals more thanks on your profile!
They're cool! I care not for followers (I am a nomad, not a social-media-hyped-glamour-starlet), and I don't need my name in any books, but I will always give feedback!
I've been a bit overwhelmed lately, but I'll try to give you feedback the next time you post content. I don't need any rewards, though.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
earlier I created rewards for feedback from multiple people, on one post. now I'm creating rewards for one person, on multiple posts.
When one person has given 2 total feedback posts, I will (if they want) put their dndbeyond username in the back of the book for credits if/when I publish on the DM's guild.
When you have given 5 total feedback posts, I will follow you.
When you have given 10 total feedback posts, I will make (almost) any requested homebrew, bonus and ahead of schedule.
When you have given 15 total feedback posts, I will (if you want) bold your dndbeyond username as a special contributor in the back of the book, if/when I publish on the DM's guild. additionally, I will (if you want) name a spell, monster, or something else after your dndbeyond username (example: HombrewMindFlayer's Abyssal Ray).
additionally, I will thanks every feedback post, so more feedback given equals more thanks on your profile!
They're cool! I care not for followers (I am a nomad, not a social-media-hyped-glamour-starlet), and I don't need my name in any books, but I will always give feedback!
I've been a bit overwhelmed lately, but I'll try to give you feedback the next time you post content. I don't need any rewards, though.
earlier I created rewards for feedback from multiple people, on one post. now I'm creating rewards for one person, on multiple posts.
When one person has given 2 total feedback posts, I will (if they want) put their dndbeyond username in the back of the book for credits if/when I publish on the DM's guild.
When you have given 5 total feedback posts, I will follow you.
When you have given 10 total feedback posts, I will make (almost) any requested homebrew, bonus and ahead of schedule.
When you have given 15 total feedback posts, I will (if you want) bold your dndbeyond username as a special contributor in the back of the book, if/when I publish on the DM's guild. additionally, I will (if you want) name a spell, monster, or something else after your dndbeyond username (example: HombrewMindFlayer's Abyssal Ray).
additionally, I will thanks every feedback post, so more feedback given equals more thanks on your profile!
They're cool! I care not for followers (I am a nomad, not a social-media-hyped-glamour-starlet), and I don't need my name in any books, but I will always give feedback!
lol. (I already follow you, your homebrew is amazing.) btw everyone, I super close to being done, just waiting on permission from someone, because one feature on one of the homebrews is similar to someone else's.
that is amazing!!! I hope your homebrew has great success in the dm's guild.
I hope that HomebrewMindFlayer has luck with the DM's Guild! I'm not sure I intend to publish the notes there - the notes will likely whimper out like everything I do. But the Candlekeep Scrolls'll probably keep going strong. However... HomebrewMindFlayer, have you considered publishing your homebrew as a fandom/wikia page or as a separate blog? Because that way there would be a way for players to easily navigate your ideas without hitting the feedback posts and similar chatter - you can say anything you like, and no-one can make it any harder to find!
I hope that HomebrewMindFlayer has luck with the DM's Guild! I'm not sure I intend to publish the notes there - the notes will likely whimper out like everything I do. But the Candlekeep Scrolls'll probably keep going strong. However... HomebrewMindFlayer, have you considered publishing your homebrew as a fandom/wikia page or as a separate blog? Because that way there would be a way for players to easily navigate your ideas without hitting the feedback posts and similar chatter - you can say anything you like, and no-one can make it any harder to find!
Firstly, I think you may have misunderstood me. When I said I was almost done, I meant with the next homebrew post, not the entire book.
No misunderstandings! I just talk really far ahead. I'm looking forward to the next installment, but the book could be years away due to the slow process of editing.
Secondly, I really hope I will be able to continue this! However, I have not finished almost every large project I have started...
Sure you will, if you reach a certain points things snowball.
Lastly, I have a link to each homebrew in the first post. But is that hard to navigate? I guess I could try something like that, but I thought the links in the the first post was easy to use.
Blood hunters who join the order of the witch hunter make it heir goal to slay witches, mages, wizards, and other magic users. They revile spellcasters of all kinds, seeing magic as evil. they learn to use magic practitioner's tools against them, become a spellcaster of sorts themselves. they learn fine tuned arts for killing spellcasters, becoming a terror to behold against them.
Spellcasting
When you reach 3rd level, you augment your dark powers with the ability to cast spells. See Spells Rules for the general rules of spellcasting and the Spells Listing for the wizard spell list.
Cantrips
You learn two cantrips of your choice from the wizard spell list. You learn an additional wizard cantrip of your choice at 10th level.
Spell Slots
The Witch Hunter Spellcasting table shows how many spell slots you have to cast your wizard spells of 1st level and higher. To cast one of these spells, you must expend a slot of the spell’s level or higher. You regain all expended spell slots when you finish a long rest.
For example, if you know the 1st-level spell shield and have a 1st-level and a 2nd-level spell slot available, you can cast shield using either slot.
Spells Known of 1st-Level and Higher
You know three 1st-level wizard spells of your choice, two of which you must choose from the necromancy and divination spells on the wizard spell list.
The Spells Known column of the Witch Hunter Spellcasting table shows when you learn more wizard spells of 1st level or higher. Each of these spells must be a necromancy or divination spell of your choice, and must be of a level for which you have spell slots. For instance, when you reach 7th level in this class, you can learn one new spell of 1st or 2nd level.
The spells you learn at 8th, 14th, and 20th level can come from any school of magic.
Whenever you gain a level in this class, you can replace one of the wizard spells you know with another spell of your choice from the wizard spell list. The new spell must be of a level for which you have spell slots, and it must be an necromancy or divination spell, unless you’re replacing the spell you gained at 3rd, 8th, 14th, or 20th level from any school of magic.
Spellcasting Ability
Intelligence is your spellcasting ability for your wizard spells, since you learn your spells through study and memorization. You use your Intelligence whenever a spell refers to your spellcasting ability. In addition, you use your Intelligence modifier when setting the saving throw DC for a wizard spell you cast and when making an attack roll with one.
Spell save DC = 8 + your proficiency bonus + your Intelligence modifier
Spell attack modifier = your proficiency bonus + your Intelligence modifier
Witch Hunter Spellcasting
Blood Hunter Level
Cantrips
Known
Spells
Known
— Spell Slots per Spell Level —
1st
2nd
3rd
4th
3rd
2
3
2
—
—
—
4th
2
4
3
—
—
—
5th
2
4
3
—
—
—
6th
2
4
3
—
—
—
7th
2
5
4
2
—
—
8th
2
6
4
2
—
—
9th
2
6
4
2
—
—
10th
3
7
4
3
—
—
11th
3
8
4
3
—
—
12th
3
8
4
3
—
—
13th
3
9
4
3
2
—
14th
3
10
4
3
2
—
15th
3
10
4
3
2
—
16th
3
11
4
3
3
—
17th
3
11
4
3
3
—
18th
3
11
4
3
3
—
19th
3
12
4
3
3
1
20th
3
13
4
3
3
1
Wrathful Rite
Beginning, while you have an active Crimson Rite, you can use your weapon as a spellcasting focus (found in chapter 5 of the Player’s Handbook) for your wizard spells. additionally, while you have an active Crimson Rite and take damage from a spell, you can you use your reaction to make an attack with the weapon against the creature who cast the spell.
Arcane Prowess
starting at 7th level, your skill with magic in unrivaled. when you use your action to cast a cantrip, you can make a weapon attack as a bonus action.
when you deal damage to a creature with a cantrip, you can deal additional damage equal to half your blood hunter level, or your entire blood hunter level instead if you took damage from a spell the creature cast within the last round. after you do this, you cannot use this feature in this way it again until you finish a long rest.
Magic Resistance
At 11th level, you have advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects.
Spell Counter
when you reach 15th level, you become an expert at counter the casting if spells. you learn the counterspell and dispel magic spell. they count as wizard spells for you, but do not count against the number of wizard spells you can learn. additionally, when you cast either, you can make a weapon attack as part of the same reaction or action.
Obliterate Magic
starting at 18th level, you become as master of destroying spellcasters, granting you the following benefits:
when you use your wrathful rite feature to make a weapon attack as a reaction, you can deal an additional 2d6 damage.
when you use your spell counter feature to make a weapon attack, you can choose to have an advantage on the attack roll.
once between lone rests, as an action, you can expend two blood maledict uses to cast the antimagic field spell.
bards of the Collage of Premonitions learn to look into the future, and charm secrets out of it. they learn eldritch skills of seeing what is to come, and arcane rites of prophesy. they can weave the strings of fate.
the songs of time and premonitions are ancient songs, slow of yet full of knowledge. bards of the Collage of Premonitions learn these songs and how the learn from the elusive yet immensely knowledge filled songs. they often separate themselves from normal society, as not to cloud their arcane senses of the future.
Premonitions
at 3rd level when you choose this collage, premonitions become more common for you. when you finish a short rest, you can roll 1d4, and write down the numbers. when you or a creature you can see within 25 feet of you makes an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw, you can choose any number of the numbers you wrote down, and add or subtract them from the roll. Each roll can be used only once. When you finish a long rest, you lose any unused foretelling rolls.
when you finish a long rest, you do the same with 3d4s.
Future Seeing
At level 3, you constantly have a small knowledge of what is to come. When you roll for initiative, you can expend a bardic inspiration die to roll it and add it to your initiative roll. Additionally, your passive perception is counted as an amount higher equal to your proficiency bonus for determining if you are surprised.
Improved Premonitions
Starting at 6th level, your Premonitions become legendary. When you cast a divination spell of 1st level or higher, you can roll a d4 for your premonitions feature. additionally, you can rolls d6s instead of d4s after long and short rests.
Future Action
When you reach level 14, you can, instead of performing action, preform them in the future. On your turn, you can use your action to take a special future action. When you do this, any time before the start of your ext turn, you can use your reaction to take a turn. During this turn, you have an advantage on all ability checks and attack rolls. You can use this feature once, regaining use after a long rest.
When you cast a divination spell of 1st level or higher, you can regain use of this feature in addition to the effects of the spell. You can do this a number of time equal to your proficiency bonus, regaining spent uses after a long rest.
Druids who follow the circle of the elements realize the fundamental aspect of the elements, seeing them as the basis of nature. they have a strong connection to the elements, using the powers granted by this connection to protect nature. they channel either the power of fire, water, air or earth, empowering them.
Circle Spells
Your mystical connection to the land infuses you with the ability to cast certain spells. At 3rd, 5th, 7th, and 9th level you gain access to circle spells connected to the element you focus on. Choose that element — fire, water, earth, or air — and consult the associated list of spells, in addition to the Circle Spells list. When you finish a long rest, you can choose to change your element.
Once you gain access to a circle spell, you always have it prepared, and it doesn’t count against the number of spells you can prepare each day. If you gain access to a spell that doesn’t appear on the druid spell list, the spell is nonetheless a druid spell for you.
The rites of your circle allow you to turn into a powerful creature of fire, water, earth, or air. when you use your wildshape, you can turn into an elemental instead of a beast, following the same rules as with turning into a beast. additionally, you can instead use the following table for determining the challenge rating of monsters you can turn into when turning into an elemental.
At 2nd level, when you enter this circle, the elements themselves mend you. when you cast a spell on the circle spells table, of the element you chose, you can gain temporary hit points equal to twice the level of the spell, in addition to the effects of the spell. additionally, you learn a cantrip based on the element you chose in the circle spells feature. mold earth for earth, gust for air, fire bolt for fire, and shape water for water.
you can use this feature a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, regaining spent uses after a long rest.
Elemental Body
starting at 6th level, your body reflects the elements. you gain the bonus based on the element you chose at level 2. additionally, you learn primordial.
Air
you gain a flying speed equal to your walking speed. additionally, you gain resistance to your choice of lightning or thunder damage.
Earth
you gain the tremorsense of 120 feet. additionally, you gain immunity to the poisoned condition, and Resistance to poison damage.
Fire
when you make a melee weapon attack or an unarmed strike, you deal an additional 1d8 fire damage. additionally, you gain resistance to fire damage.
as a bonus action, you can make yourself shed bright light for 30 feet, plus dim light for an additional 30 feet. this lasts until you dismiss it as a bonus action.
Water
you gain a swimming speed equal to to your walking speed and can breathe underwater. additionally, you gain resistance to your choice of non-magical bludgeoning, piercing, or slashing damage.
You for a small wall, that springs into existence Instantaneously. When you cast this spell, you create a wall 5 feet in front of you blocking the projectile, that is 5 feet wide, 5 feet tall, and 3 inches thick. You can only cast this spell if there is an unoccupied spot within 5 feet of you. It lasts for the duration of the spell, or until it is reduced to 0 hit points. It has 10 hit points, resistance to nonmagical piercing and slashing damage, and immunity to poison and psychic damage.
As an action on each of your turns, you can move the wall up to 30 feet, to an unoccupied spot.
*(When you are targeted by a ranged weapon attack.)
You fuse with the energy of an aberration, becoming aberration like your self. You choose a monster type when you cast this spell, slaad, mind flayer, beholder, or star spawn, and gain a benefit for the duration based on your choice. Additionally, you gain resistance to psychic damage and know deep speech for the duration.
Slaad. For the duration, you have an advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects. Additionally, at the start of each of your turns, if you have at least 1 hit points, you regain a number of hit points equal to your proficiency bonus.
Mind Flayer. For the duration, you gain the benefits of the detect thoughts spell. Additionally, you grow tentacles. As an action on each of your turns, you can make an attack with one of them. They are melee spell attacks, deal 2d6 psychic damage on a hit, and have 5 feet of reach. When you hit a creature with a tentacle, it must succeed on an intelligence saving throw against your spell save DC or be stunned until the start of your next turn.
Beholder. For the duration, and have a mass of beholder like eye-stalks. You have an advantage on wisdom (perception) checks, and as an action on each of your turns, you can make an eye ray attack. They are ranged spell attacks that deal 1d10 psychic damage on a hit and have 120 feet of range. On a hit, you also roll a d4 to determine a special effect appliqued to the target.
1. Fear ray. The target must succeed on a wisdom saving throw against you spell save DC or become frightened of you until the start of your next turn.
2. Telekinetic ray. The target must succeed on a strength saving throw against your spell save DC or be moved up to 10 feet in any direction on your choice and become restrained until the start of your next turn. While restrained in this way, the creature floats 5 feet in the air.
3. Sleep ray. The target must succeed on a wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC or fall asleep and remain unconscious until the end of your next turn. The target awakens if it takes damage or another creature takes an action to wake it. This ray has no effect on constructs and undead.
4. Disintegration ray. The target takes an additional 2d6 force damage.
Star Spawn. For the duration, you instead of immunity to psychic damage. Additionally, at the star of each of your turns, all creatures within 10 feet of you must make a wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC, taking 2d6 psychic damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
*(A part of a monster from the monster type you are transforming into, which the spell consumes)
You cause pillars of stone to rise up from the ground around you, before falling down and rising in front of the old one over and over again, like a wave in the earth itself. All creatures no more than 5 feet off the ground, in a 60 foot cone emanating from you in a direction of your choice must make a dexterity saving throw. A creature takes 4d10 bludgeoning damage and is knocked prone on a failed save. On a successful one, a creature takes half as much damage and is not knocked prone.
The cone becomes difficult terrain for an hour after you cast this spell. Additionally, you can choose a number of creatures in the cone up to half the level at which you cast this spell (round down). Those creatures automatically succeed the saving throw.
At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher, the damage increases by 1d10 for each slot level above 4th, and you can choose one more creature automatically succeed the saving throw for every two levels higher you cast the spell (detailed in the spell).
Summon Monstrosity
4th-level conjuration Casting Time: 1 action Range: 90 ft Components: V, S, M* Duration: Concentration, up to 1 hour Class: Wizard
You call forth a monstrous spirit. It manifests in an unoccupied space that you can see within range. This corporeal form uses the monstrous Spirit stat block. When you cast the spell, choose Hydra, Chimera, Kraken, Yuan-ti or Basilisk. The creature resembles an Monstrosity of that kind, which determines certain traits in its stat block. The creature disappears when it drops to 0 hit points or when the spell ends.
The creature is an ally to you and your companions. In combat, the creature shares your initiative count, but it takes its turn immediately after yours. It obeys your verbal commands (no action required by you). If you don’t issue any, it takes the Dodge action and uses its move to avoid danger.
At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher, use the higher level wherever the spell’s level appears in the stat block.
MONSTROUS SPIRIT
Large monstrosity
Armor Class 12 + the level of the spell (natural armor)
Hit Points 40 + 10 for each spell level above 4th
Speed 35 ft.; swim 40 ft. (kraken only); fly 40 ft. (chimera only)
Petrifying Gaze (Basilisk only). If a creature starts its turn within 30 feet of the spirit and the two of them can see each other, the spirit can force the creature to make a Constitution saving throw against your spell save DC if the basilisk isn't incapacitated. On a failed save, the creature magically begins to turn to stone and is restrained. It must repeat the saving throw at the end of its next turn. On a success, the effect ends. On a failure, the creature is petrified until freed by the greater restoration spell or other magic.
A creature that isn't surprised can avert its eyes to avoid the saving throw at the start of its turn. If it does so, it can't see the basilisk until the start of its next turn, when it can avert its eyes again.
If it looks at the basilisk in the meantime, it must immediately make the save. If the basilisk sees its reflection within 30 feet of it in bright light, it mistakes itself for a rival and targets itself with its gaze.
Multiple Heads (Hydra only). The spirit has a number of heads equal to half the level at which you cast this spell (round down). While it has more than one head, the spirit has advantage on saving throws against being blinded, charmed, deafened, frightened, stunned, and knocked unconscious.
Whenever the spirit takes 20 or more damage in a single turn, one of its heads dies. If all its heads die, the hydra dies.
At the end of its turn, it grows two heads for each of its heads that died since its last turn, unless it has taken fire damage since its last turn. The hydra regains 10 hit points for each head regrown in this way.
Actions
Multiattack. The spirit makes a number of attacks equal to half this spell’s level (rounded down), or a number of attacks equal to the number of heads it has (hydra only). the spirit can then make a scimitar attack (yuan-ti only).
Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: your spell attack modifier to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 1d8 + 2 + the spell’s level Piecing damage, plus 1d6 additional poison damage (basilisk or yuan-ti only), or 1d4 acid damage (kraken or hydra only).
Fire Breath (Chimera Only; Once per Turn). Ranged Weapon Attack: your spell attack modifier to hit, range 15/45 ft., one target. Hit: 2d8 + 4 + the spell’s level Fire damage.
Scimitar (Yuan-ti Only).Melee Weapon Attack: your spell attack modifier to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 1d6 + the spell’s level Slashing damage, plus 2d6 additional poison damage.
Lightning Storm (Kraken Only; Once per Turn). Ranged Weapon Attack: your spell attack modifier to hit, range 15/45 ft., a number of targets equal to half the level at which you cast the spell (round down). Hit: 2d10 lightning damage.
*(A scale, tooth, claw, or other monster part, worth at least 400 gp.)
Variant Rule: Combat Exhaustion
As a variant rule, you may want to use combat exhaustion, to give your battle a sense of gritty realism and add a depth of strategy. You way want to only add this effect a few round into a fight or you may want to start it at the very beginning of the battle. At the start of each creature's turn in combat, the creature must succeed a constitution saving throw, with DC equal to 5 + the round number. On a failed save, a creature suffers a level of combat exhaustion. Additionally, a creature can choose to suffer a level of combat exhaustion on their turn (in addition to making the saving throw). When they do this, they gain an advantage on all attack rolls made that turn.
Use the following table to determine the effects of combat exhaustion. A creature has the effects of it's current combat exhaustion level and each one below it. Every minute spent not in combat reduces a creature's combat exhaustion points by 1, to a minimum of 0.
Combat Exhaustion Points
Effect
1
-10 Speed reduction.
2
Disadvantage on ability checks.
3
Speed halved. (Replaces minus 10 speed reduction).
4
Must roll and subtract d4 from saving throws and attack rolls.
5
Cannot take reactions.
6
Cannot take bonus actions.
7
Disadvantage on saving throws and attack rolls.
8
Speed Reduced to 0.
9
All healing on creature is halved.
10+
Takes 2d6 necrotic damage at the start of each of it's turns for each level above 9. This damage cannot be reduced in any way.
This order is anti-logical, even for Blood Hunters. However, it works, and thematically I think it's a better addition than, say, the Order of the Mutant (which is a lot like the Order of the Lycan). I don't have any specific comments.
College of Premonitions:
This feels like Bardic Inspiration many times over. It's a bit repetitive for a bard (bardic inspiration, premonitions), and I feel like it really wants to be transplanted onto Sorcerer (which has nothing like this but desperately needs it). However, I think the ideas are here in full and they'd make one of THE BEST sorcerer subclasses EVER. MADAME EVA FOREVER!
Note on Future Action: Regaining this after you cast a 1st-level or higher divination spell is a bit OP, but on a sorcerer (which only has 9 divination spells, and only 2 of those are 1st-level), it might be less OP.
Circle of the Elements
This Circle is absolutely wicked. Maybe note that you can use Wildshape for beasts AND elementals, rather than instead of? And maybe make it that you can change your elemental type when you finish a long rest, your proficiency bonus increases, or when you gain a level? Also, Primordial Transformation is a Circle of the Moon feature, so maybe change/buff this feature so you can only change into an elemental of your type, but when you do so you can also cast spells from your list of expanded spells, without requiring any components except ones you must pay for?
Also, Master All the Elements is severely overpowered - too many spells! Maybe just limit it to the Elemental Body feature?
Spells
Instantaneous wall is pretty good
Fldhaver's Bla Bla Bla
- Slaad with Magic Resistance + Temp HP is OP, make it so that the temp HP only equals your proficiency bonus?
- Mind Flayer is pretty cool
- Beholder is very interesting.
- Star Spawn is a bit low in terms of damage for a 5th level, maybe 4d4 or so?
- This spell could be lowered a level or be made more potent.
Pillar Wave's range is incorrect, but it's extremely cool
Summon Monstrous Spirit is pretty powerful!
Combat Exhaustion is intriguing, but I feel that it gets really bad really fast and then it kills the character, which cannot be healed easily. THIS NEEDS NEW HEALING SPELLS!!!!!
Honestly I think this one is pretty cool. Now for the problems with it! (Note that I won’t point out simple grammatical or the wrong word unless it’s important). Wrathful Rite (epic name!): it says warlock spells rather then wizard. Arcane Prowess: looks a little weak, you could probably change it t a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, but the next feature is a little strong so we can ignore it. Magic Resistance: a little strong, but we can ignore it because the last feature is a little weak. If you change the last one you might want to change it to a static +2 or +3. Spell Counter: no comment. Obliterate magic (another awesome name!): no comment.
Collage of Premonitions:
It should be called College of Premonitions rather then Collage of Premonitions. I agree with Yamana_Eajii that it would make a nice sorcerous origin, but it’s fine like this too. Overall not bad. Premonitions: good. No comment. Future Seeing: no comment. Improved Premonitions: balanced improvement that you definitely deserve at this level, but the wording could be cleared up. Future Action: a little overpowered, but it would be fine if you removed the advantage or put some more limits on it.
EDIT: I just realized that this is definitely the Vistani from Ravenloft!
Circle of the Elements:
Absolutely awesome! I love this one! Circle Spells: reasonable. Good spells. Nice flavor. You might want to add chromatic orb, though, and I agree that you should have the option to change your element somehow. Elemental Forms: reasonable, though players will probably find out how to exploit it within a few seconds. It’s great except for the examples. Ice mephit has a flying speed and is thus unusable. [Tooltip Not Found] should (again) be replaced with something with a flying speed. Its not required (and will probably be unbalanced), but would be nice if you could become more powerful creatures, not quite as much as circle of the moon, but just a little boost. It would also be nice if it had some more scaling and such. It feels like it should be the core feature of the subclass. Elemental Body: nice. I think the primordial should be moved to level to, though. Primordial Transformation: love it! You should probably remove the second paragraph, though. I get that that means that archdruids can use it constantly, but arch moon druids can so it’s not unbalanced (their was waaaaay to many that’s in that last sentence [and to many a’s in that way]). Master of the Elements: a bit overpowered but not too bad. You will get a lot of spells though.
Spells:
It was extremely difficult to put spoilers in a spoiler.
Instantanious Wall:
Should be spelled instantaneous wall. I like the spell. Good flavor, fun and useful effect. I do feel like the resistance should be changed, though. I’d say resistance to slashing damage instead of bludgeoning (you could easily smash down a small wall with a hammer, but you would have a lot of trouble with a sword).
Fldhaverr's Aberrational Form:
Love the name! Sounds very abberation-ish. Slaad is a little overpowered though, and you should specify that a creature hit by the telekinetic ray remains floating in the air if lifted up like spell. Honestly their should be one of these for all the new summoning spells (imagine becoming a sorrowsworn!)
Pillar Wave:
I love it! I don’t have anything to say about the mechanics, but it deserves a cool name like the last one.
Summon Monstrosity:
We need this! It is awesome! One problem though. All the other summoning spells have a material component that is worth an amount equal to the spells level times 100.
Combat Exhaustion:
I love the mechanics, but I feel like if I use it I will change it a bit. Probably only use it in especially difficult fights or have it kick in at the second or third round.
That’s it! Overall I love your homebrew. It has some grammatical and spelling mistakes here and their but otherwise is great. I also don’t really care about the rewards, though. I just want to be helpful and give some constructive criticism. I’m a relatively bad homebrewer, but I have the uncanny ability to figure out if anything can be changed in one to make it look more official.
EDIT: Sorry if anything is wrong, I wrote this at 11:05 PM.
This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco. No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.
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you didn't have to delete the feedback Yamana_Eajii... eh, I read it all.
I am an average mathematics enjoyer.
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ok.
I am an average mathematics enjoyer.
>Extended Signature<
I have made some of the changes, although I forgot some of them... what can I do to make them more fair? if you see my most recant edits (mainly just the ones you said), are they more fair?
I am an average mathematics enjoyer.
>Extended Signature<
thanks for the feedback!
I am an average mathematics enjoyer.
>Extended Signature<
preview/sneak peak on next release:
I am an average mathematics enjoyer.
>Extended Signature<
I'm am also getting some feedback goals/rewards!
I am an average mathematics enjoyer.
>Extended Signature<
1. Renegade seems like a cool support rogue
2. Spirit Domain has Grave Domain in its description, Incopereal Movement seems a little to powerful
3. Way of Unity doesn't really speak "Unity" to me.
Erean Cabenrith a Variant Human Cleric (Light Domain)
Eliem Lightblossom a High Elf Blood Hunter
Check out my Extended Signature Here
I just submitted the form. could not think of almost anything, but hopefully my 2 ideas were good
N/A
it's been a little while everyone. sorry about that! I have a ton of content coming (3 subclasses, 4 spells, and a variant rule), and I'll hopefully have it done my tomorrow. if not, it should be soon.
I am an average mathematics enjoyer.
>Extended Signature<
nice
N/A
nice rewards i believe a qualify for reward one
Check out my homebrew subclasses spells magic items feats monsters races
i am a sauce priest
help create a world here
They're cool! I care not for followers (I am a nomad, not a social-media-hyped-glamour-starlet), and I don't need my name in any books, but I will always give feedback!
Frequent Eladrin || They/Them, but accept all pronouns
Luz Noceda would like to remind you that you're worth loving!
I've been a bit overwhelmed lately, but I'll try to give you feedback the next time you post content. I don't need any rewards, though.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
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Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
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If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
same as you 2 above.
N/A
that is amazing!!! I hope your homebrew has great success in the dm's guild.
N/A
I hope that HomebrewMindFlayer has luck with the DM's Guild! I'm not sure I intend to publish the notes there - the notes will likely whimper out like everything I do. But the Candlekeep Scrolls'll probably keep going strong. However... HomebrewMindFlayer, have you considered publishing your homebrew as a fandom/wikia page or as a separate blog? Because that way there would be a way for players to easily navigate your ideas without hitting the feedback posts and similar chatter - you can say anything you like, and no-one can make it any harder to find!
Frequent Eladrin || They/Them, but accept all pronouns
Luz Noceda would like to remind you that you're worth loving!
No misunderstandings! I just talk really far ahead. I'm looking forward to the next installment, but the book could be years away due to the slow process of editing.
Sure you will, if you reach a certain points things snowball.
Oh sorry I forgot! Dumb dumb dumb.
Frequent Eladrin || They/Them, but accept all pronouns
Luz Noceda would like to remind you that you're worth loving!
Candlekeep's Secret scroll's 3: Order of the Witch Hunter, Collage of Premonitions, Circle of the Elements, Spells, and Combat Exhaustion
I am an average mathematics enjoyer.
>Extended Signature<
Order of the Witch Hunter:
This order is anti-logical, even for Blood Hunters. However, it works, and thematically I think it's a better addition than, say, the Order of the Mutant (which is a lot like the Order of the Lycan). I don't have any specific comments.
College of Premonitions:
This feels like Bardic Inspiration many times over. It's a bit repetitive for a bard (bardic inspiration, premonitions), and I feel like it really wants to be transplanted onto Sorcerer (which has nothing like this but desperately needs it). However, I think the ideas are here in full and they'd make one of THE BEST sorcerer subclasses EVER. MADAME EVA FOREVER!
Note on Future Action: Regaining this after you cast a 1st-level or higher divination spell is a bit OP, but on a sorcerer (which only has 9 divination spells, and only 2 of those are 1st-level), it might be less OP.
Circle of the Elements
This Circle is absolutely wicked. Maybe note that you can use Wildshape for beasts AND elementals, rather than instead of? And maybe make it that you can change your elemental type when you finish a long rest, your proficiency bonus increases, or when you gain a level? Also, Primordial Transformation is a Circle of the Moon feature, so maybe change/buff this feature so you can only change into an elemental of your type, but when you do so you can also cast spells from your list of expanded spells, without requiring any components except ones you must pay for?
Also, Master All the Elements is severely overpowered - too many spells! Maybe just limit it to the Elemental Body feature?
Spells
Instantaneous wall is pretty good
Fldhaver's Bla Bla Bla
- Slaad with Magic Resistance + Temp HP is OP, make it so that the temp HP only equals your proficiency bonus?
- Mind Flayer is pretty cool
- Beholder is very interesting.
- Star Spawn is a bit low in terms of damage for a 5th level, maybe 4d4 or so?
- This spell could be lowered a level or be made more potent.
Pillar Wave's range is incorrect, but it's extremely cool
Summon Monstrous Spirit is pretty powerful!
Combat Exhaustion is intriguing, but I feel that it gets really bad really fast and then it kills the character, which cannot be healed easily. THIS NEEDS NEW HEALING SPELLS!!!!!
Frequent Eladrin || They/Them, but accept all pronouns
Luz Noceda would like to remind you that you're worth loving!
Witch Hunter:
Honestly I think this one is pretty cool. Now for the problems with it! (Note that I won’t point out simple grammatical or the wrong word unless it’s important). Wrathful Rite (epic name!): it says warlock spells rather then wizard. Arcane Prowess: looks a little weak, you could probably change it t a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, but the next feature is a little strong so we can ignore it. Magic Resistance: a little strong, but we can ignore it because the last feature is a little weak. If you change the last one you might want to change it to a static +2 or +3. Spell Counter: no comment. Obliterate magic (another awesome name!): no comment.
Collage of Premonitions:
It should be called College of Premonitions rather then Collage of Premonitions. I agree with Yamana_Eajii that it would make a nice sorcerous origin, but it’s fine like this too. Overall not bad. Premonitions: good. No comment. Future Seeing: no comment. Improved Premonitions: balanced improvement that you definitely deserve at this level, but the wording could be cleared up. Future Action: a little overpowered, but it would be fine if you removed the advantage or put some more limits on it.
EDIT: I just realized that this is definitely the Vistani from Ravenloft!
Circle of the Elements:
Absolutely awesome! I love this one! Circle Spells: reasonable. Good spells. Nice flavor. You might want to add chromatic orb, though, and I agree that you should have the option to change your element somehow. Elemental Forms: reasonable, though players will probably find out how to exploit it within a few seconds. It’s great except for the examples. Ice mephit has a flying speed and is thus unusable. [Tooltip Not Found] should (again) be replaced with something with a flying speed. Its not required (and will probably be unbalanced), but would be nice if you could become more powerful creatures, not quite as much as circle of the moon, but just a little boost. It would also be nice if it had some more scaling and such. It feels like it should be the core feature of the subclass. Elemental Body: nice. I think the primordial should be moved to level to, though. Primordial Transformation: love it! You should probably remove the second paragraph, though. I get that that means that archdruids can use it constantly, but arch moon druids can so it’s not unbalanced (their was waaaaay to many that’s in that last sentence [and to many a’s in that way]). Master of the Elements: a bit overpowered but not too bad. You will get a lot of spells though.
Spells:
It was extremely difficult to put spoilers in a spoiler.
Instantanious Wall:
Should be spelled instantaneous wall. I like the spell. Good flavor, fun and useful effect. I do feel like the resistance should be changed, though. I’d say resistance to slashing damage instead of bludgeoning (you could easily smash down a small wall with a hammer, but you would have a lot of trouble with a sword).
Fldhaverr's Aberrational Form:
Love the name! Sounds very abberation-ish. Slaad is a little overpowered though, and you should specify that a creature hit by the telekinetic ray remains floating in the air if lifted up like spell. Honestly their should be one of these for all the new summoning spells (imagine becoming a sorrowsworn!)
Pillar Wave:
I love it! I don’t have anything to say about the mechanics, but it deserves a cool name like the last one.
Summon Monstrosity:
We need this! It is awesome! One problem though. All the other summoning spells have a material component that is worth an amount equal to the spells level times 100.
Combat Exhaustion:
I love the mechanics, but I feel like if I use it I will change it a bit. Probably only use it in especially difficult fights or have it kick in at the second or third round.
That’s it! Overall I love your homebrew. It has some grammatical and spelling mistakes here and their but otherwise is great. I also don’t really care about the rewards, though. I just want to be helpful and give some constructive criticism. I’m a relatively bad homebrewer, but I have the uncanny ability to figure out if anything can be changed in one to make it look more official.
EDIT: Sorry if anything is wrong, I wrote this at 11:05 PM.
This isn't actually a signature, just something I copy and paste onto the bottom of all my posts. Or is it? Yep, it is. Or is it..? I’m a hobbit, and the master cranial imploder of the "Oops, I Accidently Destroyed Someone's Brain" cult. Extended sig. I'm actually in Limbo, it says I'm in Mechanus because that's where I get my WiFi from. Please don't tell the modrons, they're still angry from the 'Spawning Stone' fiasco.
No connection to Dragonslayer8 other than knowing them in real life.