Are there any players and a DM who would like to help me break D&D?

(Lord Kasim offered to use Wind Walk on the party so we can show up at the castle in a few minutes... the great djinni would like to meet the King before he returns to the Elemental Plane of Air at the end of an hour)

(OK, so doo doo doo-doo, we are back at the castle and the lord is waiting for a report.)

I kneel and address the king "m'lord, we have done our duty and have vanquished the dragon insuring that we do minimal damage. *Winces* looking towards the direction of the destroyed wall"

“The dragon would have done worse had it lived.”

Hemlock raises her arms pumping up the crowd! "You see! We are the Heroes of the Realm! The Calamity Crew!" Gesturing at the dragon parts, "This lizard didn't stand a chance against us! We gift our king and our people with these trophies!!"

The lord looks amused, "Why are you calling me king? I am the lord of the land, but I'm no king."

Charis chuckles for a second. "Ah! Potato, potahto. You are the ruler around here. That's the point that he...she...they? That's what they mean." says before stepping back as a sign of respect towards the lord. He then stays looking back and forth between Hemlock and the floor trying to figure out their gender out of genuine confusion.

"Fair enough, so I take it the dragon is dead. Here is your reward." The lord calls forth a butler carrying 8 pouches of gold, "A hundred for each of you."

Flint gratefully takes his sack of gold, pouring it out into his Bag of Holding. "Much obliged, your lordship. It was nothing at all, really. After all, we're a group of heroes. Kicking ass is what we do."

"We are grateful for the reward!" Hemlock calls, "You can call on us in the future if another creature threatens the realm!"

When they leave the palace and are among the common folk, Hemlock tosses 50 gold into the crowd. "Celebrate today! Buy your friends a drink, for a foul creature has been vanquished!"

OOC: Hemlock, a tree that was planted upon the grave of a dwarf hero gained sentience due to the power of the items in the grave. The tree, like many trees is female. The spiritual gestalt is a male dwarf hero, happy to do great deeds once again. The items cause the bearer to become dwarf-like in appearance.

If you are throwing hard gold coins into the crowd, roll a d100.

Quote from Wysperra >>

 OOC: Hemlock, a tree that was planted upon the grave of a dwarf hero gained sentience due to the power of the items in the grave. The tree, like many trees is female. The spiritual gestalt is a male dwarf hero, happy to do great deeds once again. The items cause the bearer to become dwarf-like in appearance.

(I know that, but Charis doesn't so he doesn't want to asume.)

Quote from YukiNatsuki >>

"Fair enough, so I take it the dragon is dead. Here is your reward." The lord calls forth a butler carrying 8 pouches of gold, "A hundred for each of you."

The elf pours the money in his pouch. "Thank you man"  says to the butler. "And thank you sir for the payment." adds before leaving with the group.

"So... are we going to celebrate or what? We just killed a dragon, though it was more on Peanut with her djinn... at least that is what I remember before the dragon knocked me out. Way to go girl!"

Peanut, as usual, turns scarlet as praise is heaped upon her.

"I... I wasn't much," the girl stammers. "I mostly just let the big guy do the fightin' an..."

"And not just anyone can command a mighty djinni in battle," Lord Kasim says proudly. "Lady Penelope, you have once again overcome impossible odds to slay a mighty wyrm. Hold your head high!"

D100 roll 93

"thank you kindly sir" immediately puts it in the apperatus of kawaslish

Quote from Wysperra >>

D100 roll 93

 OK, only three people get hit with coins, the rest fall on the ground and get picked up.

Quote from Mister_Whisker >>

Peanut, as usual, turns scarlet as praise is heaped upon her.

"I... I wasn't much," the girl stammers. "I mostly just let the big guy do the fightin' an..."

"And not just anyone can command a mighty djinni in battle," Lord Kasim says proudly. "Lady Penelope, you have once again overcome impossible odds to slay a mighty wyrm. Hold your head high!"

 "Come on, Peanut. Don't sell yourself short. Djinn are flighty tricksters, and the fact that you somehow managed to bind one to your will and make it genuinely care about your well-being- that's impressive." Flint throws Peanut a reassuring look, continuing with, "You gotta learn to take praise. We're gonna be heroes of legend; praise is part of the job. Quit ignoring your achievements." Flint turns away, back to Charis, saying, "Hell yeah, let's go get drunk! Same bar we were at before?"

Are you going back to the tavern?

Yep

"LADY PEANUT!! The DOUBLE Dragon slayer!!"