Functional Gag Characters

I'm bored and looking for something funny. I don't know if this is the right chat to post this in, but:

What is the most ridiculous gag character that was still useable that you have ever seen in a campaign? We have all heard the stories of Abserd. What else do you have?

For example, I wanted to play a Kobold light cleric who worships the sun and strongly believes that "the great fire will consume us all!"

I am dying to play a goblin who starts at level 1 as a rogue but from there starts taking levels in druid, because he got bitten by a rat (a fairly common thing for a goblin who lives in the sewers) and then discovered he could turn into a rat. So he goes around trying to get bitten by other animals so that he can turn into those animals. 

I have a dragonborn which is just a fried egg. A wizard got trapped in a dragon cave after slaying a dragon, and after some starvation cracked a dragon egg to make a sunny-side up fried egg. Instead the egg became sentient, a draconic blood sorcerer. He's just an egg with a wizard hat, but it still works.

Mine was a halfling Moon Druid who's whole shtick was transforming from a Small old lady halfling into giant animals.

Another one I did was I made Rincewind from the Discworld series as a Battlesmith Artificer with the Lucky feat.

At one point I made (but didn't play) a Wizard Tabaxi who's story was that they are a Wizard's familiar but their wizard is too old to go on adventures anymore so they decided to teach their familiar some of their magic so the familiar can go on adventures to entertain the Wizard. 

The other one that was super fun for a few one-shots was a half-elf wild magic sorcerer - totally standard build - but her personality was extremely optimistic despite everything going wrong for her all the time. Her backstory for the first one-shot was that she had accidentally burned down the local tavern while (very successfully!) ridding its basement of rats, during that one-shot she carelessly messed with some cursed objects and unleashed a giant horde of zombies - but she successfully collected the artifact she was hired to find so that was a totally successful adventure as well! 

For a mini-campaign I made a Ghostslayer Bloodhunter Goblin character whom I still love dearly. He was a test-subject for a mad alchemist so he would activate his blood hunter powers by squirting liquid from strange abscesses he had on his body, or scooping out pus from one of his alchemically modified eye. 

Eccles is a "paladin" (celestial warlock) who has forgotten his deity's name, and thinks it's too awkward now to ask. He's a dwarf, with an intelligence of 6, and a plucky, up-beat can-do attitude. His various things:

• When asked who his god is, he will say "Well, you know when you've been working with someone for a long time, and you don't know their name, but it's awkward to ask them? It's like that."
• He wields the Warhammer of Invisibility (only the head is invisible. It's a quarterstaff).
• He was once told that shaving his beard would make it grow back thicker. He's done it every morning for 50 years, and it still hasn't worked yet.
• In a one-shot, the party hiked for 2 hours up a mountain to a graveyard, and then thought "do we have any shovels?". Eccles immediately says "Oh, I'll pop back down and get some!".
• In another one-shot, Eccles found two crossed sticks on the beach and began digging - we were looking for treasure. He dug through an entire 20-minute conversation among other party members on how to interpret the map.
• He spent some time admiring the view out of a window. It was a painting.
• He casts every offensive spell by shouting "Smite!".
• He prays to his patron as if he's leaving an awkward answerphone message.

He's one of my favourite silly characters. I make sure never to detract from others games, he's just a bit dumb and endlessly optimistic.

Now we're getting some fun ones!

I have a tabaxi grave cleric that I made for a Halloween one shot, but I liked the sad little meow meow enough that I'm playing them for the 4th time now. I kept trying to have a gimmick for them but it kept falling through.

Like I wanted them to believe that they were cursed with bad luck when in actuality they were just very clumsy. But I rolled for stats, got great numbers and they could not fail at anything if I tried!

New campaign with the character, I join mid campaign lost in a dragon's cave, so I have her more than a little mentally shattered from the experience. Our party warlock couldn't make the second session, so I started a running joke that my recovering cat thought they had hallucinated her. My plan was to treat her as imaginary for the rest of the campaign. Guess what? That player never came back! I had to abandon the bit

On the vein of dark comedy, there was a oneshot where we were tasked with making villain characters.

Some people went serious, with war criminals and the like.

Another player made "the hunter who shot Bambi's mum".

Not to be outdone, I made a plasmid shadow sorcerer; "the swamp into which Artax sank".

Was good fun.

I don't have much desire to play a fighter very often, but I have one idea that I want to do that's a midlife crisis fighter.

Dad bod, middle aged, divorced, kids don't want to talk to him. So he's becoming an adventurer to prove to his family that he's still cool and doing just fine.