Okay, I may add a bit of time to the deadline, as there are only a few entries. Feel free to enter a post until I do a post saying that submissions are closed and that voting begins.
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Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Edited levels and an image into Tenebree. Unsure if I'll finish the minutiae before the cutoff, but hopefully she's legal, at least.
ALSO: For those without any way they're comfortable with to host an image online, you can also simply share a link to a HeroForge figure. Get the "Share" link from the Hero nemu where you can rename/save your character, paste it here, and other folks can access your build and check it out (without mucking with yours, they open a fresh instance of that build in their own HF). Like so, for Tenebree: https://www.heroforge.com/load_config%3D15070883/
Edited levels and an image into Tenebree. Unsure if I'll finish the minutiae before the cutoff, but hopefully she's legal, at least.
ALSO: For those without any way they're comfortable with to host an image online, you can also simply share a link to a HeroForge figure. Get the "Share" link from the Hero nemu where you can rename/save your character, paste it here, and other folks can access your build and check it out (without mucking with yours, they open a fresh instance of that build in their own HF). Like so, for Tenebree: https://www.heroforge.com/load_config%3D15070883/
Thanks, Yurei!
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All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Early feedback for Heironymous: Fancy seeing a tiefling in this competition of all. Tieflings have an aura of "dexy" in my head, but you made it work. I love the mix of Sengoku Jidai with the mythics of Oni and the DnD Lore of Tieflings. I feel like you could have gotten more out of the second half of the 12-20 levels by multiclassing, but getting that 18 Samurai feature is tempting I know. and if you go fighter 18 you go fighter 20. I had a similar problem with my build ;)
Sutlo that's awesome! I'm going to have to go back and see what I can do again now that I've got the meat and potatoes of it done. And thanks so much for the feedback. You're absolutely right I could have done more to have a better 20th level build, but I was much more focused on making a build that could play as a juggernaut from level 1 with a clean progression into the end of tier 2 to reflect the levels that are played the most by the community (I've never played more than a level in tier 3). Inoshishi is much more about turning a couple of unexpected choices into a respectable juggernaut while maintaining a strong low level efficacy than about creating a supremely powerful high level build. Not much competes with Druid and Artificer capstones anyways lol! I'm happy my use of a bulky tiefling caught you by surprise but that it works in your eyes. And as you note, I was very much interested in Strength before Death as a "juggernaut ability" and by that point it didn't feel like two levels of a different class added enough to the concept to be worth it.
I really appreciate the time you put into responding already! I'm sorry I don't have nearly as much to give you. Life has been weird lately and kept me from spending as much time on this as I wanted. I will say that at a glance I love that you used the battlesmith for a mounted character. Mounted Combat allowing you direct more attacks at yourself to protect your mount feels quite juggernautish to me. And gnomes adding yet another layer to the saving throws is just filthy dirty stuff.
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
If you were waiting on me Third you don’t have to. I ended up getting too busy to really dedicate time to fleshing out my build, and don’t feel comfortable just posting something half-assed. I’ll just have to make better time for the next build.
I really like the concept here- a kid that has formidable powers but isn't always wise enough to use them for the right things. While you could have written a bit more story, I overall really enjoyed reading Jacky's tale. My favorite part was probably "Okay Jacky didn't actually "help" the village. He mostly "protected" them by attacking every trader he thought looked evil - so every orc, goblin or otherwise scary looking race he read in books could be evil." This made me laugh.
On the mechanics side, Jacky is a tank through and through. He has rather good hit points, but it's in AC and saving throws that Jacky really shines. Only rarely will Jacky be hit by attacks, and even then he can simply brush the damage aside. Even at lower levels, Jacky is a decent tank, able to survive more than a few hits.
Yurei's Tenebree, Dreamer in Darkness
As always, an amazing read, Yurei! Somehow, you manage to churn out unique and intriguing tales week after week. I love your use of similes and metaphors, which help to immerse your readers in the story you build.
For mechanics, Tenebree is quite deadly. While she's not the stereotypical juggernaut, she still excels in that role. Most single opponents would be hard-pressed to defeat her, however, due to her slightly lower AC, Tenebree's not quite as effective against swarms. Though at lower levels, Tenebree isn't much of a tank- at higher levels she's pretty much unstoppable.
Zot's Inoshishi, the Demon of Rinkoku
I really love the flavor here. The idea of a boy captured and made to fight is interesting, and Inoshishi's story only grows more complex and intriguing as it goes on.
Mechanically, Inoshishi is a tank at lower levels. He can plow down almost anything in his way, with multiple resistances and both high HP and AC. At higher levels, however, he begins to fade into decency, rather then excellence.
Votes
I wanted to say that it was very hard for me to divide up my votes. Everyone did a superb job, and I wish I could have given you all five points each. I look forward to seeing and participating in future throwdowns; I really enjoyed reading everyone else's builds.
Sutlo's Little Jacky Oaths: 1 point Yurei's Tenebree, Dreamer in Darkness: 2 points Zot's Inoshishi, the Demon of Rinkoku: 2 points
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
I will work on getting a vote post done up when I can. My posting time is much more limited than usual these days, even if the original Shit Sandwich situation ended up relenting a little.
Alright voting time! Thauraeln I like your formatting so I'm going to shamelessly swipe that.
Little Jackie Oaths by Sutlo
I'm kind of in love with your character concept. A boy so naive that they try and emulate the qualities of the heroes they read about to the point of emulating their downfalls and tragic qualities too. Not even because that's what is in their heart, but because they're so keen on becoming a hero themselves. Loving the riff on Don Quixote. I wouldn't mind a little more meat to the story, but the outline of the character you've given is something I really jive with.
Mechanically, I'm hard-pressed to say anything bad since artificers (and especially battlesmiths) are so well set up for this sort of thing. I like that you took the battlesmith down the road of mounted combat, as using sentinel and mounted combatant to protect your allies and punish those who try and attack them really fits the terminator/juggernaut theme to me. A "don't look at them, look at me" sort of vibe. My only criticism is that artificer 20 is an easy button. Exclusive access to magic items (for the contest at least) and a ridiculous capstone mean very little effort has to go in to making the build work as intended for the theme of the contest. This is like Iron Chef to me where points were awarded for creative use of the secret ingredient (where our equivalent is creative use of game features to emulate the qualities of a terminator). I find Artificer 20, and especially Battlesmith with access to the Shield Spell, to be sorely lacking in that department.
Thirus, Master of Agony by Thauraeln
I enjoyed the flipping of tropes in the beginning of the tale with Thirus the half-orc defending against savage humans. I'm also keen on this idea that Thirus' pain and suffering was so tragic during this period that it carries on with him for the rest of his life. I could even see taking it into the Tom Hardy Bane world where he is actually left with some kind of lasting injury that causes constant agony. You've created a character that has me thinking about how I would play them and that is an awesome thing. Phantom is a subclass I haven't been able to wrap my head around yet in terms of character design but you really brought it and have me thinking about them now. I very much enjoy the vindictiveness and grim determination that Thirus has to inflict his pain upon those he deems worthy. If you wrong him, this guy is going to hunt you down John Wick style and he has the skills to do it.
You've also managed to build quite the beefy rogue. I like that you start with fighter and set up your defenses from the beginning (yes, I have a clear bias) and I appreciate your use of Phantom Rogue as a way to bolster your saving throw game (which are quite good for all of us non-Artificers 😂) and your focus on con saves is both strong and thematic. I would never have thought to use the class as such and I really like the creative take on tankybois. That being said, I find Thirus's tactics stray further and further from the identity of a terminator/juggernaut the more he levels. The assassin approach is certainly strong, but it is contrary to the "frontal assault monster taking on all challengers" image that I have for the contest theme. The John Wick feel certainly helps salvage this (no doubt John Wick is a Terminator), but the growing focus on striking from the shadows only to re-enter them makes this build a bit lacking when it comes to fulfilling the theme of the contest.
Tenebree, Dreamer in Darkness by Yurei
What can be said about your writing that you haven't already heard a thousand times? It's just lovely. You weave stories like you're a goddamn spider with a typerwriter and author trapped in your butt. You make it seem effortless, and your entries are always so beautifully succinct while simultaneously opening us up to a whole new world. A quality of writing I'm quite inspired by. I absolutely adore Tenebree's beginnings as a plaything of an Archfey. It reminds me very much of Quentin Coldwater and the Nameless from The Magicians, only in this case Tenebree has something to look forward to. I also really like the use of Druid to create a witch-themed character. Warlock is the natural inclination, but I find the use of Druid as the bulk of the build to be an extremely satisfying way of building the skill set of a witch.
Looking past the mind candy that is your honeyed words, I'm skeptical of the mechanics behind the concept. Tenebree spends quite some time as a squishy little thing, with the first time I'd be comfortable qualifying her as a juggerminator (so tired of writing terminator/juggernaut) being at level 6 when her maximized healing comes online (Cue my tier 1 and 2 bias). I'm not convinced the animal forms of a non-moon druid will be very useful in combat even in the early levels, especially with their action time to activate and the warlock levels putting off CR 1/2 options until level 7. She's also sorely lacking in the concentration check department until level 11, which feels wrong when considering the concentration heavy nature of the druid and importance placed on healing spirit. Standing in one spot and trying to heal off all of the damage coming in will result in a loss of concentration frequently with the low con score, lack of proficiency and low AC and this is true for much of her career. I also find her offensive skillset to be anemic. Her basic cantrip routine leaves a lot to be desired and a sense of imminent danger when approaching is something I attribute to juggerminators. She certainly matures into a formidable threat, but when isn't that true of characters that get to 20th level and can cast 9th level spells? I love the shout out to Madam Mim with the Dragon form, but it would mean much more to me for the efficacy of the overall build in fitting with the contest theme if it wasn't put off until 20th level (again my bais towards abilities you get time to play with). I really like the synergies you've built around healing: the "wolverine engine" is quite impressive and unique, but there are some flaws I have a hard time ignoring when it comes to scoring this.
Votes
Little Jackie Oaths by Sutlo: 3 points
Thirus, Master of Agony by Thauraeln: 1 point
Tenebree, Dreamer in Darkness by Yurei: 1 point
I know I'm a harsh critic (art school education), but I hope you all know that I come at this with nothing but love and respect. Thank you all for participating and providing some truely lovely ideas. Reading these was a delight, so thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time to put yourselves out there.
Also, to everyone coming in and taking a peek (I see you 500+ views) PLEASE do not feel bashful to come in and vote just because you didn't submit a build. We want your opinions and to hear more. Well at least I do. So come on in and vote. The water is fine.
Soooo more votes right? that format is certainly good work Thaurael. I will try to give more feedback than what I already gave you pre voting, but some of it will be repeating stuff.
Inoshishi - The Demon of Rinkoku - by Zot
As I already said, I like the Idea of a beefy Tiefling. Just not something I would have expected. It works pretty good flavorwise. You have the ability (that I seem to lack in the last few throwdowns) to get a lot of story out of a concept. I feel kind of lost after the second or third entry of story with my concepts, but you make it work. Subplots seem to be pretty helpful. This time I get the naming, too ;) . Although I'm kind of thinking "Inoshishi" sounds kind of cute, "wild boar" is the right meaning for this character. It's a good thing you didn't go full mechanical tank on him, by giving him sword and board or something comparable thats more defensive, the flavor is much more intimidating this way. Fighter 20 seems kinda lazy at first glance, but as we already talked, you were kind of forced by level 18. Also I like masked Characters (don't know why, I already have build several of those).
Thirus, Master of Agony by Thauraeln
John Wick seems to be a pretty good Comparison for your build. I'd say he is just less of a T800 series (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and more of a T-1000 Series (Robert Patrick). The flavor works for me, he could be a little more... agressively melee. I don't really think the 18 levels in Rogue are nessessary, just for Elusive - I think you should have taken more levels in Fighter (the Subclass I'm undecided) maybe even up to level 5 for Multi Attack.
All in all a great charakter (for a first try nonetheless), maybe not as brutally frontline as others, but good concept! I didn't get ANY points for my first build("Change - they who have many faces and none"- in the Magus Maximus competition), you'll at least go out with some my friend ;)
Edit: As I'm rereading the Phantom rogue, it seams you would even need a free hand to generate a soul trinket when a creature dies. While I find that ridicously stupid(what, does that mean I always have to have one hand free ? no dual wielding? no shield? no 2handed weapons?) I think sword and board might prevent that.
Tenebree, Dreamer in Darkness by Yurei
While you might not be as tanky in early levels as others (below level 6 or so) I see the concept you're going for. The combination of Gift of the Ever-Living Ones with bonus Action heals looks promissing, I might try that myself some time. I honestly don't have much more to say that hasn't been said already: great writeup, story and flavor. Mechanics are pretty good, considering that you didn't want to just build another tank. As I already said the character would probably be even stronger heal wise as a celestial warlock, but it would be a flavor fail, so I'm glad you didn't take that bait.
Votes
Inoshishi - The Demon of Rinkoku by Zot: 2 points
Thirus, Master of Agony by Thauraeln: 1 point
Tenebree, Dreamer in Darkness by Yurei: 2 point
Lastly I want to thank Third for hosting this challenge ! :)
Oh my goodness, I completely forgot to thank Third. I know you're busier nowadays. Thank you so much for taking the time to do this. You da bomb.
Thanks for the feedback Thauraeln and Sutlo! I really enjoy this back and forth.
Sutlo: So happy you got the names this time! lol. Seriously, I tried pairing things down and definitely kept your comments from last time in mind. I agree Inoshishi is a bit cute, but I was set on having this guy be boar themed (those suckers are some serious juggernauts in real life) so I stuck with it. I agree fighter 20 is a bit lazy and as we've discussed it was mostly a product of being a logical progression after wanting Strength in Death so bad (I just can't get over interrupting death, it's so cool). I tried making up for it with cute stuff like blindfighting + tiefling darkness and infernal constitution, but no doubt fighter 20 has its flaws in what I like to think of as the "creative use of the secret ingredient" portion. Also, thanks for giving me the inspiration to go back to heroforge and have another go at it. T'was a lot of fun.
You may not feel as confident in the story portion, but you absolutely know how to make a compelling character idea. I love Little Jackie Oaths in all of his misguided Don Quixote glory.
Thauraeln: 100% my build lags in tier 3 and especially tier 4. Fighter 20 problems y'know. I'm happy you were intrigued by the story. I could have kept writing but I didn't want to post another novel and was hoping the threads of deceipt and irony would be compelling enough.
Sutlo is spot on with the T-1000 terminator analogy. Thirus is certainly not lacking when it comes to feeling dangerous as all heck and knows how to hunt down his targets. In that aspect of juggerminatorism (I will make this term a thing lol), Thirus leads the pack by a country mile.
I do agree that Thirus isn't quite so juggernautish (it seems like a lot of neologisms are coming out of this challenge) at higher levels. Elusive is also probably not worth 18 levels of rogue. I was thinking of going fighter 3, but I was unsure of where to stick that level in and what subclass to choose, since I don't own the PHB on DnDBeyond. I'm honored that I got any votes at all in this contest, honestly, I didn't expect to. Thanks for the feedback, all of you!
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All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
I can definitely understand the difficulty in finding a spot for that 3rd level. The 1, 5, 11, 17, 20 format puts pressure on having certain abilities by those benchmarks so they can be talked about as key parts of the build at those points. So I can see you wanting the space to have rogue 3 by level 5 for wail and especially rogue 9 by level 11 for the trinkets. I probably would have thrown it in right after all of that at character level 12 if at all. I happen to like the 2/18 split, but fighter subclasses certainly are fun. I think Rune Knight would have been a really interesting addition to the build with its proficiency scaling large size (quite the juggernaut ability) and runes offering interesting boosts to skill checks that Thirus' rogue core can jive with really well.
To be fair, the whole Don-Quichote style backstory wasn't really planned, it just came out that way when I wrote it on a whim :D But I'm happy you liked it. Mechanically 20 Artificer is really just an easy button to press - I originally planned on taking 3 in fighter(Chevalier) or even more of that - But I decided against it just because of the capstone of artificer (and the last infusion) is so brutal. Probably a mistake on my side here.
Okay, I may add a bit of time to the deadline, as there are only a few entries. Feel free to enter a post until I do a post saying that submissions are closed and that voting begins.
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
Sorry, Third. Work has been brutal for a while. I'll make sure to try and touch up Tenebree tonight, provided I don't die of aneurism.
Please do not contact or message me.
No problem. Take your time.
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
Edited levels and an image into Tenebree. Unsure if I'll finish the minutiae before the cutoff, but hopefully she's legal, at least.
ALSO: For those without any way they're comfortable with to host an image online, you can also simply share a link to a HeroForge figure. Get the "Share" link from the Hero nemu where you can rename/save your character, paste it here, and other folks can access your build and check it out (without mucking with yours, they open a fresh instance of that build in their own HF). Like so, for Tenebree: https://www.heroforge.com/load_config%3D15070883/
Please do not contact or message me.
Thanks, Yurei!
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
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Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
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If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Early feedback for Heironymous: Fancy seeing a tiefling in this competition of all. Tieflings have an aura of "dexy" in my head, but you made it work. I love the mix of Sengoku Jidai with the mythics of Oni and the DnD Lore of Tieflings. I feel like you could have gotten more out of the second half of the 12-20 levels by multiclassing, but getting that 18 Samurai feature is tempting I know. and if you go fighter 18 you go fighter 20. I had a similar problem with my build ;)
I tried making a heroforge mini for him: https://www.heroforge.com/load_config=15254454/
Sutlo that's awesome! I'm going to have to go back and see what I can do again now that I've got the meat and potatoes of it done. And thanks so much for the feedback. You're absolutely right I could have done more to have a better 20th level build, but I was much more focused on making a build that could play as a juggernaut from level 1 with a clean progression into the end of tier 2 to reflect the levels that are played the most by the community (I've never played more than a level in tier 3). Inoshishi is much more about turning a couple of unexpected choices into a respectable juggernaut while maintaining a strong low level efficacy than about creating a supremely powerful high level build. Not much competes with Druid and Artificer capstones anyways lol! I'm happy my use of a bulky tiefling caught you by surprise but that it works in your eyes. And as you note, I was very much interested in Strength before Death as a "juggernaut ability" and by that point it didn't feel like two levels of a different class added enough to the concept to be worth it.
I really appreciate the time you put into responding already! I'm sorry I don't have nearly as much to give you. Life has been weird lately and kept me from spending as much time on this as I wanted. I will say that at a glance I love that you used the battlesmith for a mounted character. Mounted Combat allowing you direct more attacks at yourself to protect your mount feels quite juggernautish to me. And gnomes adding yet another layer to the saving throws is just filthy dirty stuff.
Any idea when voting will start?
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
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Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
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If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
could be any moment now. I'm not sure if RoughCoronet0 is still working on his build, but it doesn't seem so. Ultimately it's up to Third.
If you were waiting on me Third you don’t have to. I ended up getting too busy to really dedicate time to fleshing out my build, and don’t feel comfortable just posting something half-assed. I’ll just have to make better time for the next build.
"Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup."
Characters for Tenebris Sine Fine
RoughCoronet's Greater Wills
Okay, build submission is now closed, and voting is open.
Reminder: Anyone can vote even if they did not submit a build. However, if you submitted a build, you must vote for your build to be valid.
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
Here's my vote and some feedback.
Sutlo's Little Jacky Oaths
I really like the concept here- a kid that has formidable powers but isn't always wise enough to use them for the right things. While you could have written a bit more story, I overall really enjoyed reading Jacky's tale. My favorite part was probably "Okay Jacky didn't actually "help" the village. He mostly "protected" them by attacking every trader he thought looked evil - so every orc, goblin or otherwise scary looking race he read in books could be evil." This made me laugh.
On the mechanics side, Jacky is a tank through and through. He has rather good hit points, but it's in AC and saving throws that Jacky really shines. Only rarely will Jacky be hit by attacks, and even then he can simply brush the damage aside. Even at lower levels, Jacky is a decent tank, able to survive more than a few hits.
Yurei's Tenebree, Dreamer in Darkness
As always, an amazing read, Yurei! Somehow, you manage to churn out unique and intriguing tales week after week. I love your use of similes and metaphors, which help to immerse your readers in the story you build.
For mechanics, Tenebree is quite deadly. While she's not the stereotypical juggernaut, she still excels in that role. Most single opponents would be hard-pressed to defeat her, however, due to her slightly lower AC, Tenebree's not quite as effective against swarms. Though at lower levels, Tenebree isn't much of a tank- at higher levels she's pretty much unstoppable.
Zot's Inoshishi, the Demon of Rinkoku
I really love the flavor here. The idea of a boy captured and made to fight is interesting, and Inoshishi's story only grows more complex and intriguing as it goes on.
Mechanically, Inoshishi is a tank at lower levels. He can plow down almost anything in his way, with multiple resistances and both high HP and AC. At higher levels, however, he begins to fade into decency, rather then excellence.
Votes
I wanted to say that it was very hard for me to divide up my votes. Everyone did a superb job, and I wish I could have given you all five points each. I look forward to seeing and participating in future throwdowns; I really enjoyed reading everyone else's builds.
Sutlo's Little Jacky Oaths: 1 point
Yurei's Tenebree, Dreamer in Darkness: 2 points
Zot's Inoshishi, the Demon of Rinkoku: 2 points
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
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Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
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If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
I will work on getting a vote post done up when I can. My posting time is much more limited than usual these days, even if the original Shit Sandwich situation ended up relenting a little.
Please do not contact or message me.
Alright voting time! Thauraeln I like your formatting so I'm going to shamelessly swipe that.
Little Jackie Oaths by Sutlo
I'm kind of in love with your character concept. A boy so naive that they try and emulate the qualities of the heroes they read about to the point of emulating their downfalls and tragic qualities too. Not even because that's what is in their heart, but because they're so keen on becoming a hero themselves. Loving the riff on Don Quixote. I wouldn't mind a little more meat to the story, but the outline of the character you've given is something I really jive with.
Mechanically, I'm hard-pressed to say anything bad since artificers (and especially battlesmiths) are so well set up for this sort of thing. I like that you took the battlesmith down the road of mounted combat, as using sentinel and mounted combatant to protect your allies and punish those who try and attack them really fits the terminator/juggernaut theme to me. A "don't look at them, look at me" sort of vibe. My only criticism is that artificer 20 is an easy button. Exclusive access to magic items (for the contest at least) and a ridiculous capstone mean very little effort has to go in to making the build work as intended for the theme of the contest. This is like Iron Chef to me where points were awarded for creative use of the secret ingredient (where our equivalent is creative use of game features to emulate the qualities of a terminator). I find Artificer 20, and especially Battlesmith with access to the Shield Spell, to be sorely lacking in that department.
Thirus, Master of Agony by Thauraeln
I enjoyed the flipping of tropes in the beginning of the tale with Thirus the half-orc defending against savage humans. I'm also keen on this idea that Thirus' pain and suffering was so tragic during this period that it carries on with him for the rest of his life. I could even see taking it into the Tom Hardy Bane world where he is actually left with some kind of lasting injury that causes constant agony. You've created a character that has me thinking about how I would play them and that is an awesome thing. Phantom is a subclass I haven't been able to wrap my head around yet in terms of character design but you really brought it and have me thinking about them now. I very much enjoy the vindictiveness and grim determination that Thirus has to inflict his pain upon those he deems worthy. If you wrong him, this guy is going to hunt you down John Wick style and he has the skills to do it.
You've also managed to build quite the beefy rogue. I like that you start with fighter and set up your defenses from the beginning (yes, I have a clear bias) and I appreciate your use of Phantom Rogue as a way to bolster your saving throw game (which are quite good for all of us non-Artificers 😂) and your focus on con saves is both strong and thematic. I would never have thought to use the class as such and I really like the creative take on tankybois. That being said, I find Thirus's tactics stray further and further from the identity of a terminator/juggernaut the more he levels. The assassin approach is certainly strong, but it is contrary to the "frontal assault monster taking on all challengers" image that I have for the contest theme. The John Wick feel certainly helps salvage this (no doubt John Wick is a Terminator), but the growing focus on striking from the shadows only to re-enter them makes this build a bit lacking when it comes to fulfilling the theme of the contest.
Tenebree, Dreamer in Darkness by Yurei
What can be said about your writing that you haven't already heard a thousand times? It's just lovely. You weave stories like you're a goddamn spider with a typerwriter and author trapped in your butt. You make it seem effortless, and your entries are always so beautifully succinct while simultaneously opening us up to a whole new world. A quality of writing I'm quite inspired by. I absolutely adore Tenebree's beginnings as a plaything of an Archfey. It reminds me very much of Quentin Coldwater and the Nameless from The Magicians, only in this case Tenebree has something to look forward to. I also really like the use of Druid to create a witch-themed character. Warlock is the natural inclination, but I find the use of Druid as the bulk of the build to be an extremely satisfying way of building the skill set of a witch.
Looking past the mind candy that is your honeyed words, I'm skeptical of the mechanics behind the concept. Tenebree spends quite some time as a squishy little thing, with the first time I'd be comfortable qualifying her as a juggerminator (so tired of writing terminator/juggernaut) being at level 6 when her maximized healing comes online (Cue my tier 1 and 2 bias). I'm not convinced the animal forms of a non-moon druid will be very useful in combat even in the early levels, especially with their action time to activate and the warlock levels putting off CR 1/2 options until level 7. She's also sorely lacking in the concentration check department until level 11, which feels wrong when considering the concentration heavy nature of the druid and importance placed on healing spirit. Standing in one spot and trying to heal off all of the damage coming in will result in a loss of concentration frequently with the low con score, lack of proficiency and low AC and this is true for much of her career. I also find her offensive skillset to be anemic. Her basic cantrip routine leaves a lot to be desired and a sense of imminent danger when approaching is something I attribute to juggerminators. She certainly matures into a formidable threat, but when isn't that true of characters that get to 20th level and can cast 9th level spells? I love the shout out to Madam Mim with the Dragon form, but it would mean much more to me for the efficacy of the overall build in fitting with the contest theme if it wasn't put off until 20th level (again my bais towards abilities you get time to play with). I really like the synergies you've built around healing: the "wolverine engine" is quite impressive and unique, but there are some flaws I have a hard time ignoring when it comes to scoring this.
Votes
Little Jackie Oaths by Sutlo: 3 points
Thirus, Master of Agony by Thauraeln: 1 point
Tenebree, Dreamer in Darkness by Yurei: 1 point
I know I'm a harsh critic (art school education), but I hope you all know that I come at this with nothing but love and respect. Thank you all for participating and providing some truely lovely ideas. Reading these was a delight, so thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time to put yourselves out there.
Also, to everyone coming in and taking a peek (I see you 500+ views) PLEASE do not feel bashful to come in and vote just because you didn't submit a build. We want your opinions and to hear more. Well at least I do. So come on in and vote. The water is fine.
Soooo more votes right? that format is certainly good work Thaurael. I will try to give more feedback than what I already gave you pre voting, but some of it will be repeating stuff.
Inoshishi - The Demon of Rinkoku - by Zot
Thirus, Master of Agony by Thauraeln
All in all a great charakter (for a first try nonetheless), maybe not as brutally frontline as others, but good concept! I didn't get ANY points for my first build("Change - they who have many faces and none"- in the Magus Maximus competition), you'll at least go out with some my friend ;)
Edit: As I'm rereading the Phantom rogue, it seams you would even need a free hand to generate a soul trinket when a creature dies. While I find that ridicously stupid(what, does that mean I always have to have one hand free ? no dual wielding? no shield? no 2handed weapons?) I think sword and board might prevent that.
Tenebree, Dreamer in Darkness by Yurei
Votes
Inoshishi - The Demon of Rinkoku by Zot: 2 points
Thirus, Master of Agony by Thauraeln: 1 point
Tenebree, Dreamer in Darkness by Yurei: 2 point
Lastly I want to thank Third for hosting this challenge ! :)
Oh my goodness, I completely forgot to thank Third. I know you're busier nowadays. Thank you so much for taking the time to do this. You da bomb.
Thanks for the feedback Thauraeln and Sutlo! I really enjoy this back and forth.
Sutlo: So happy you got the names this time! lol. Seriously, I tried pairing things down and definitely kept your comments from last time in mind. I agree Inoshishi is a bit cute, but I was set on having this guy be boar themed (those suckers are some serious juggernauts in real life) so I stuck with it. I agree fighter 20 is a bit lazy and as we've discussed it was mostly a product of being a logical progression after wanting Strength in Death so bad (I just can't get over interrupting death, it's so cool). I tried making up for it with cute stuff like blindfighting + tiefling darkness and infernal constitution, but no doubt fighter 20 has its flaws in what I like to think of as the "creative use of the secret ingredient" portion. Also, thanks for giving me the inspiration to go back to heroforge and have another go at it. T'was a lot of fun.
You may not feel as confident in the story portion, but you absolutely know how to make a compelling character idea. I love Little Jackie Oaths in all of his misguided Don Quixote glory.
Thauraeln: 100% my build lags in tier 3 and especially tier 4. Fighter 20 problems y'know. I'm happy you were intrigued by the story. I could have kept writing but I didn't want to post another novel and was hoping the threads of deceipt and irony would be compelling enough.
Sutlo is spot on with the T-1000 terminator analogy. Thirus is certainly not lacking when it comes to feeling dangerous as all heck and knows how to hunt down his targets. In that aspect of juggerminatorism (I will make this term a thing lol), Thirus leads the pack by a country mile.
Thanks for hosting this, Third!
I do agree that Thirus isn't quite so juggernautish (it seems like a lot of neologisms are coming out of this challenge) at higher levels. Elusive is also probably not worth 18 levels of rogue. I was thinking of going fighter 3, but I was unsure of where to stick that level in and what subclass to choose, since I don't own the PHB on DnDBeyond. I'm honored that I got any votes at all in this contest, honestly, I didn't expect to. Thanks for the feedback, all of you!
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
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Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
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If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
I can definitely understand the difficulty in finding a spot for that 3rd level. The 1, 5, 11, 17, 20 format puts pressure on having certain abilities by those benchmarks so they can be talked about as key parts of the build at those points. So I can see you wanting the space to have rogue 3 by level 5 for wail and especially rogue 9 by level 11 for the trinkets. I probably would have thrown it in right after all of that at character level 12 if at all. I happen to like the 2/18 split, but fighter subclasses certainly are fun. I think Rune Knight would have been a really interesting addition to the build with its proficiency scaling large size (quite the juggernaut ability) and runes offering interesting boosts to skill checks that Thirus' rogue core can jive with really well.
Okay feedback to the feedback! :D
To be fair, the whole Don-Quichote style backstory wasn't really planned, it just came out that way when I wrote it on a whim :D But I'm happy you liked it.
Mechanically 20 Artificer is really just an easy button to press - I originally planned on taking 3 in fighter(Chevalier) or even more of that - But I decided against it just because of the capstone of artificer (and the last infusion) is so brutal. Probably a mistake on my side here.
Apologies for the long delay, folks. Baaad work week, and D&D tonight. Vote/feedback post coming tomorrow, I promise it.
Please do not contact or message me.