Bard: "I'm sorry, daddy, I've been a bad girl"

Cleric: "For the last time...It's forgive me father for I have sinned."

I confess that I once killed a Tabaxi rogue because the player kept pretending to lick his paw and groom himself like a cat. 

I confess to once fudging a roll to kill a player who ruined my campaign so he could run his own

I'D DO IT AGAIN

I admit to changing an entire campaign by adding a giant shiba inu and a shiba inu god and the master sword and a lot more, all the players knew I did and thought it was a lot more fun but technically I never told them whether or not it was in the book so it's kind of a confession I guess