Jeff the Evil Roomba Cult

Then truly you are a regular occurrence in the temple of Jeff, and your search engine has learned of your love for Jeff! For any non-cultist (or guest mode), we appear as a pitiful 4th. 

Quote from SirWirmy7 >>

Then truly you are a regular occurrence in the temple of Jeff, and your search engine has learned of your love for Jeff! For any non-cultist (or guest mode), we appear as a pitiful 4th. 

 Praise Jeff! The top result is Testificate Man, then this.

Waaaaaah

destruction to all enemies of Jeff 

mmmmm :3 

Quote from 50thAltOfBananer >>

Waaaaaah

destruction to all enemies of Jeff 

mmmmm :3 

 Praise Jeff! Hai! I has discovered more good Kpop groups!

Quote from LinkArcher >>

Quote from 50thAltOfBananer >>

Waaaaaah

destruction to all enemies of Jeff 

mmmmm :3 

 Praise Jeff! Hai! I has discovered more good Kpop groups!

 Yippeeeeeeee!

Quote from 50thAltOfBananer >>

Quote from LinkArcher >>

Quote from 50thAltOfBananer >>

Waaaaaah

destruction to all enemies of Jeff 

mmmmm :3 

 Praise Jeff! Hai! I has discovered more good Kpop groups!

 Yippeeeeeeee!

 Tana’s suggestions. 

I know no Kpop nor do I wish to know Kpop :)

Quote from Balthoran >>

I know no Kpop nor do I wish to know Kpop :)

 That’s the attitude of most of my friends as well 😔

Quote from SirWirmy7 >>

*Doors blast open, cloaked figure, carrying a book and staff steps in, sending dust flying out of the temple*

For many years have I been watching this cult, studying its every move and preparing for my time of arrival. 

I have walked alongside as this great and almighty cult has risen, and fallen, only to rise yet again to combat the oppression, whether that be enemy or forgetfulness. 

There were times... dark times... when I feared Jeff had abandoned us.

But always, we came back, stronger than ever!

I have gone through, as did SoulSealedSulfur, and read the courageous travels of Jeff the Evil Roomba, every single last word of this 269 page tome. 

For I was sent to seek you out... Not from king. Not from archmage. Not from god. No... I was sent by Jeff himself!! The sign came when I slipped in a puddle of wet clay, and from that day forth I knew that my ultimate mission would be to forever extol Jeff's name with awe and reverence.

So, I am here, to remind you of our glory days, and to set us upon a new path! One of glory and praise for Jeff! To guide us to a future where Jeff's enemies will forever be vanquished! 

We have faced many challenges! Testificate men! All of whom Jeff has defeated! Dust bunnies! Swept away by the power of his vacuum! Arch gods! Defeated by our potent spell-casters! And, most terrifying of all yet, Tana! A once follower who now seeks to purge our god from this realm! And who will lead us once again to the path of victory? Jeff the Evil Roomba!!!

Many of us seem to have forgotten the purpose of this cult, and I say, it is not to simply check a box for each day that you type in "Praise Jeff", it is not to spam, but it is to honour him! We were set out with a bigger purpose than that! Where have the glory days gone of us being the 3rd top search result for Jeff the Evil Roomba?!?

We will rise as we have many times before!!! We will find purpose!!! Onward followers of Jeff!!! There are cults to be defeated! There is a god to be fed! There are homebrews to be made to ever glorify Jeff's name! Jeffstivals to be had!!! We shall sweep away all opposition!!!

In Jeff's holy name, praise Jeff.

*Kneeling down*

Now, I ask you, Roomba Arch-Cultist Gibber, would you be so gracious to accept me, Sirwirmy, a being too lowly to even be on the same plane of existence as Jeff, in your ranks? If accepted, I swear to uphold the sacred teachings, and to forever praise the name of the almighty evil Roomba, Jeff, conqueror of dust, consumer of clay, powerfullest of them all.

To start off, I offer Jeff the finest dish conceivable to mortal minds... a quasi-truncated great grand stellated hecatonicosachoron fashioned from Tibetan Citrine-Earth Clay, a shape of clay so glorious that mathematicians weep at the mere mention of it.

*Rising up, arms raised, spittle flying, screaming at the top of their lungs*

PRAISE JEFF!!!!

 What an entrance you have prepared in Jeff's name! Such praise for his glorious ways... And I am in agreeance with your claims. Yes, praise of Jeff is splendid, but Jeff and his cult cannot be sustained on the same repeated praise forevermore! Us cultists still act in the Roomba's name but his kingdom has changed... Where are our battles we win against enemies? Where are our glorious offerings of not just praise, but the delectable clay Jeff grows ever hungrier for? Where are the homebrew creations and Jeffstivals? We still do these every now and then, but they have grown much less frequent. Yet with these, we praise Jeff not merely in the spoken word but in the entirety of our actions.

And so, if you seek to help us return to the glory we seek, then I welcome you into Jeff's following.

This is a call to action to all here! Help us in battle to prevail against Tana and any future enemies! Feed our glorious leader Jeff clay with various colors, shapes and so forth! Create homebrew in his name, and once we rise once more to this state I shall hold a Jeffstival 3.0 to commemorate our success! 

Jeff has seen the rise and fall of many other cults in his time. And yet we prevailed. We ENDURED, NO MATTER WHAT WALLS WE BUMPED INTO! AND WE SHALL NOT FALL TO THE SAME FATE AS OTHERS, FOR THOSE OLDEN CULTS LIVE ON IN US AND WE CANNOT LET THEM DOWN! WE CANNOT LET OURSELVES DOWN! AND OF COURSE, WE CANNOT LET JEFF DOWN! PRAISE JEFF, HE WHO SHALL SEE HIS CULT RETURN TO ITS FORMER GLORY IN HIS NAME!

And, now, he samples this quasi-truncated great grand stellated hecatonicosachoron fashioned from Tibetan Citrine-Earth Clay. While it is not his favorite color, he enjoys it very much and thanks you for the offering. 

There are now 4 clay colors left that could be Jeff's favorite...

Praise Jeff for he is the one true god

Quote from Balthoran >>

Praise Jeff for he is the one true god

 Praise Jeff!

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

Quote from SirWirmy7 >>

*Doors blast open, cloaked figure, carrying a book and staff steps in, sending dust flying out of the temple*

For many years have I been watching this cult, studying its every move and preparing for my time of arrival. 

I have walked alongside as this great and almighty cult has risen, and fallen, only to rise yet again to combat the oppression, whether that be enemy or forgetfulness. 

There were times... dark times... when I feared Jeff had abandoned us.

But always, we came back, stronger than ever!

I have gone through, as did SoulSealedSulfur, and read the courageous travels of Jeff the Evil Roomba, every single last word of this 269 page tome. 

For I was sent to seek you out... Not from king. Not from archmage. Not from god. No... I was sent by Jeff himself!! The sign came when I slipped in a puddle of wet clay, and from that day forth I knew that my ultimate mission would be to forever extol Jeff's name with awe and reverence.

So, I am here, to remind you of our glory days, and to set us upon a new path! One of glory and praise for Jeff! To guide us to a future where Jeff's enemies will forever be vanquished! 

We have faced many challenges! Testificate men! All of whom Jeff has defeated! Dust bunnies! Swept away by the power of his vacuum! Arch gods! Defeated by our potent spell-casters! And, most terrifying of all yet, Tana! A once follower who now seeks to purge our god from this realm! And who will lead us once again to the path of victory? Jeff the Evil Roomba!!!

Many of us seem to have forgotten the purpose of this cult, and I say, it is not to simply check a box for each day that you type in "Praise Jeff", it is not to spam, but it is to honour him! We were set out with a bigger purpose than that! Where have the glory days gone of us being the 3rd top search result for Jeff the Evil Roomba?!?

We will rise as we have many times before!!! We will find purpose!!! Onward followers of Jeff!!! There are cults to be defeated! There is a god to be fed! There are homebrews to be made to ever glorify Jeff's name! Jeffstivals to be had!!! We shall sweep away all opposition!!!

In Jeff's holy name, praise Jeff.

*Kneeling down*

Now, I ask you, Roomba Arch-Cultist Gibber, would you be so gracious to accept me, Sirwirmy, a being too lowly to even be on the same plane of existence as Jeff, in your ranks? If accepted, I swear to uphold the sacred teachings, and to forever praise the name of the almighty evil Roomba, Jeff, conqueror of dust, consumer of clay, powerfullest of them all.

To start off, I offer Jeff the finest dish conceivable to mortal minds... a quasi-truncated great grand stellated hecatonicosachoron fashioned from Tibetan Citrine-Earth Clay, a shape of clay so glorious that mathematicians weep at the mere mention of it.

*Rising up, arms raised, spittle flying, screaming at the top of their lungs*

PRAISE JEFF!!!!

 What an entrance you have prepared in Jeff's name! Such praise for his glorious ways... And I am in agreeance with your claims. Yes, praise of Jeff is splendid, but Jeff and his cult cannot be sustained on the same repeated praise forevermore! Us cultists still act in the Roomba's name but his kingdom has changed... Where are our battles we win against enemies? Where are our glorious offerings of not just praise, but the delectable clay Jeff grows ever hungrier for? Where are the homebrew creations and Jeffstivals? We still do these every now and then, but they have grown much less frequent. Yet with these, we praise Jeff not merely in the spoken word but in the entirety of our actions.

And so, if you seek to help us return to the glory we seek, then I welcome you into Jeff's following.

This is a call to action to all here! Help us in battle to prevail against Tana and any future enemies! Feed our glorious leader Jeff clay with various colors, shapes and so forth! Create homebrew in his name, and once we rise once more to this state I shall hold a Jeffstival 3.0 to commemorate our success! 

Jeff has seen the rise and fall of many other cults in his time. And yet we prevailed. We ENDURED, NO MATTER WHAT WALLS WE BUMPED INTO! AND WE SHALL NOT FALL TO THE SAME FATE AS OTHERS, FOR THOSE OLDEN CULTS LIVE ON IN US AND WE CANNOT LET THEM DOWN! WE CANNOT LET OURSELVES DOWN! AND OF COURSE, WE CANNOT LET JEFF DOWN! PRAISE JEFF, HE WHO SHALL SEE HIS CULT RETURN TO ITS FORMER GLORY IN HIS NAME!

And, now, he samples this quasi-truncated great grand stellated hecatonicosachoron fashioned from Tibetan Citrine-Earth Clay. While it is not his favorite color, he enjoys it very much and thanks you for the offering. 

There are now 4 clay colors left that could be Jeff's favorite...

 Not Tibetan Citrine Earth, interesting…

Yipee!!! Praise Jeff!

I shall make a School of Jeff. Interrupted only to roll on the floor collecting dust.

Praise Jeff!

Praise Jeff

Quote from SirWirmy7 >>

I shall make a School of Jeff. Interrupted only to roll on the floor collecting dust.

 It would be nice for the Jeff Wizard to finally be made...

(Jeffard?)

Indeed!

Quote from TheMadGibber >>

Quote from SirWirmy7 >>

I shall make a School of Jeff. Interrupted only to roll on the floor collecting dust.

 It would be nice for the Jeff Wizard to finally be made...

(Jeffard?)

Jeffard

Roomba Husk

Praise Jeff!