DM : Now you see that guy try to run away. What will you do?
Player : Can I make a target unconscious instead? I don't wanna kill him.
DM : Yes you can.
Player : Then I aim my heavy crossbow to that guy and shoot him in the back.
DM : Well.......
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"You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend." ― Bruce Lee
So these two lvl. 2 fighters walk into a bar. A tarrasque walks out and a fighter says, "Eeek! Kill it with fire!" The other one replies, "Well duh, what else would we kill it with?"
In case you don't get it, because of a tarrasque's a.c., (22, i think) you can't get through its armor unless you use the armor piercing characteristic of fire. Or spells. But these guys are lvl. 2 fighters. So they can't use magic.
Our party still needs a healer. Our posted ad seeking someone for 'clerical work' hasn't gotten us anyone who can heal chest wounds. What level spell is 'Power Point' anyway?
Not sure if this ones been said but...
What do you call a tabaxi rogue? A cat burglar!
DM : Now you see that guy try to run away. What will you do?
Player : Can I make a target unconscious instead? I don't wanna kill him.
DM : Yes you can.
Player : Then I aim my heavy crossbow to that guy and shoot him in the back.
DM : Well.......
"You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend." ― Bruce Lee
So these two lvl. 2 fighters walk into a bar. A tarrasque walks out and a fighter says, "Eeek! Kill it with fire!" The other one replies, "Well duh, what else would we kill it with?"
In case you don't get it, because of a tarrasque's a.c., (22, i think) you can't get through its armor unless you use the armor piercing characteristic of fire. Or spells. But these guys are lvl. 2 fighters. So they can't use magic.
Our party still needs a healer. Our posted ad seeking someone for 'clerical work' hasn't gotten us anyone who can heal chest wounds. What level spell is 'Power Point' anyway?
Looking for new subclasses, spells, magic items, feats, and races? Opinions welcome :)
Where do beekeepers in the Underdark put their bees?
A beholder.
Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!
Never tell me the DC.
why do you never take a character with a charisma score of 16 to fight Xanathar, because beauty is in the eyes of the beholder
what happens when you eat black pudding? you start feeling oozy
here's the best joke i have ever encountered critical failures, recommended
Two Elves walk into a bar. The Halfling laughs and walks under it.
Homebrew is fun.
That is why you always name your sword "Beauty"
Homebrew is fun.
Here is an impossibility...
A Dwarf walks out of a bar sober
Why I has no life ???
Because a Duckula eated my reddish water.
My Ready-to-rock&roll chars:
Dertinus Tristany // Amilcar Barca // Vicenç Sacrarius // Oriol Deulofeu // Grovtuk
This is supposed to be Jokes, not one Line horror stories.
Why did the Dragon cross the Road? The bard was on his side.
Good and Evil are different sides of the Same Coin. One Cannot Exist without the other.
Always Looking for Feedback and Critique on anything I Publish, IM me if you have suggestions.
Why shouldn’t you be afraid of a red dragons threats
because they’re just blowing smoke
stuff is cool
-me 2021
There, this
OK then - cats have the same CR as humans (commoners) in 5e. I mean, why?
Chilling kinda vibe.
One for the math nerds...
What's the opposite of a gelatinous cube? A gelatinous third root!
Wizard (Gandalf) of the Tolkien Club
The archivist artificer
The kettle's boiling; Yuan ti?
This slaad dressing is amazing.
Azer, mate! How are you?
I, for one, vote to aboleth this law!
Duergar-d this as a business opportunity.
Charlie, mephit are cold.
Put ettin the garbage.
Roc on, Janice.
That's just etter-crap!
Hi there! I'm a Christian musician based in Canada :)