Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
So my DM's Homebrew world has a thing called Fish-Bladder which is a special food that allows you to breathe underwater for an hour. our party met a merfolk treasure hunter who asked us to be her bodyguards on a dangerous assignment. our party consisted of, Myself: a half orc, Elvena: a wood elf, and Ruthlu: a yuan-ti pureblood. the dialogue went like this:
Me out of character: so if we are going to help her, we are going to need some Fish-Bladder.
Elvena to DM: I Buy 4 Fish-Bladders!
Ruthlu to Elvena: But The merfolk doesnt need a bladder she can swim fine without one!
Elvena: Fine then! you can stay on the boat! No bladder for you!
Elvena to DM: I only buy 2 Fish-Bladders.
As this is going down me and the DM are just cracking up.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Pie Jesu Domine! *smack* Dona Eis Requiem! *smack*
and in another campaign, our tiefling pyromaniac barbarian fails a performance check to a group of raiders in a tavern on comedy night.....
"Hey Whats your favorite building to burn while raiding? mine is an Orphanage. its just so big and there are so many beds. not to mention the sound of children screaming fills my ears with pleasure..."
needless to say, the raiders did not become friendly towards us at that point.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Pie Jesu Domine! *smack* Dona Eis Requiem! *smack*
"His CR was 2 higher than yours! He had an AC of 19! HE WAS A DEATH TYRANT! HOW DID HE DIE BEFORE ATTACKING ONCE???? CONGRAGULATIONS THE CAMPAIGN IS OVER, YOU KILLED THE BBEG." -My DM
I feel sorry for him. The group I am DMing for is lvl 5 and there are 4 of them. And they trashed a mummy lord. First round. Fire wall and fireball. And extra fireball. Mummy lord is CR 15. TEN FREAKING CR ABOVE THEIR LEVEL.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic byVitaly S Alexius
"His CR was 2 higher than yours! He had an AC of 19! HE WAS A DEATH TYRANT! HOW DID HE DIE BEFORE ATTACKING ONCE???? CONGRAGULATIONS THE CAMPAIGN IS OVER, YOU KILLED THE BBEG." -My DM
I feel sorry for him. The group I am DMing for is lvl 5 and there are 4 of them. And they trashed a mummy lord. First round. Fire wall and fireball. And extra fireball. Mummy lord is CR 15. TEN FREAKING CR ABOVE THEIR LEVEL.
CR is never really going to be more than an estimate.
not really funny but it because a running joke due to the number of times it was said. (really horrible things happened to me)
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic byVitaly S Alexius
"His CR was 2 higher than yours! He had an AC of 19! HE WAS A DEATH TYRANT! HOW DID HE DIE BEFORE ATTACKING ONCE???? CONGRAGULATIONS THE CAMPAIGN IS OVER, YOU KILLED THE BBEG." -My DM
I feel sorry for him. The group I am DMing for is lvl 5 and there are 4 of them. And they trashed a mummy lord. First round. Fire wall and fireball. And extra fireball. Mummy lord is CR 15. TEN FREAKING CR ABOVE THEIR LEVEL.
Our group is playing Icewind Dale. Our party much steamrolled over the Icemaiden when we faced her in the middle of the campaign, but then several levels later we were nearly wiped out by a room full of 8 gelatinous cubes.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
=========================== Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters: Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
*house rule is roll first for checks and saves, then roleplay result*
Player 1 dismally failed a Persuasion roll for using wiles to convince a guard to look the other way.
Player 1: "Do you want to participate in a little... competitive eating?" Guard (DM): "Eating as in... 'eating'?" Player 1: "I mean eating as in eating." Guard: "I'm confused. Are you talking about food or sex?" Player 1: "Ew, gross! Of course, I'm talking about food! Yuck! I mean, look at you! You obviously pack away twice your weight in food! You'd be occupied for hours while we snuck into the keep. You smell like you haven't bathed in a year! ...and I don't even want to think about what you meant by 'eating' meaning sex! Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! Icky, yuck! Gross!" DM: ... Player 3: What? DM: I'm trying to decide if this is now an Intimidation check or if the Guard should just take Psychic Damage.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Context: we are in a post-apocalyptic vampire ninja kingdom ruled by the legendary ninja BBEG and we finally face him in a showdown.
BBEG: Ah, finally able to meet my arch-enemies (Player 1’s PC) and (Player 2’s PC), if you join me, we’ll rule the world together, defy me and I will literally kick you into Hades.
Player 1: *Using ring of 3 wishes* I wish for (BBEG’s name) to cease to exist!”
DM: Okaaaay, the reign of the shinobi king has ended, peace returns to the world, and you are recognized as heroes, when are very old and very famous, a little ninja child comes and breaks the ring, thus ending it’s influence and returning you to the moment you destroyed the ninja king.
BBEG: “Ah, it seems you made an attempt on my life, this is the part where I kick you into Hades. DM: He swiftly opens a portal and kicks you both through it.
Player 1: Looks like you’re going to the shadow realm, Jimbo.
Me, a cleric: *gets knocked out and asks my DM if I can roll a religion check (house rule: if you are affiliated with a god, you can roll a very high DC religion check to revive yourself if you have been ko'ed)*
*makes the throw*
DM: you are bathed in a holy light as you hear angelic voices, your body is raised from the floor and you find yourself awake standing on the battlefield, mace in hand. A true display of the sacred power of Tamrasil." "Aaanyhow, your resurrection took your turn, it's the bandit's turn now."
Bandit: hits me for three damage and instantly drops me again.
It took a deus ex machina in the form of our teacup-wielding Barbarian getting multiple crits in a row on almost no health, as well as a nat 20 intimidation check to get the enemy to consider a truce. (Simultaneously keeping your teacup full, holding it with your pinky, taking occasional sips from it, all while swinging around a greataxe, is apparently a great intimidation tactic, as it shows your enemies how skilled and coordinated you are)
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely. If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
This one isn't mine, but was said in response to me on a roleplaying thread.
"It's like if you place acid on a space, but the acid is flying and attacks you, and is a summoned swarm of bugs."
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Homebrew (Mostly Outdated):Magic Items,Monsters,Spells,Subclasses ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Player 5: "Let me try to understand this. You're now telling us that your ultimate goal is to end the world?" Player 4: "Yup." Player 5: "So, why have you been travelling with us all this time?" Player 4: "You know we all got together for a job. I grew to like all of you." Player 2: "So, you're not going to kill us when you destroy the world." Player 4: "Oh, I'll definitely kill you, but it'll be quick, painless, by surprise, and before I start the apocalypse." Player 5: "That's kind of you." Player 1: "So now that's settled, who's up for that long rest?" Players 2, 3 and 5: "I'm suddenly not tired."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Player 4: "Let me try to understand this. You're now telling us that your ultimate goal is to end the world?" Player 5: "Yup." Player 4: "So, why have you been travelling with us all this time?" Player 5: "You know we all got together for a job. I grew to like all of you." Player 2: "So, you're not going to kill us when you destroy the world." Player 5: "Oh, I'll definitely kill you, but it'll be quick, painless, by surprise, and before I start the apocalypse." Player 4: "That's kind of you." Player 1: "So now that's settled, who's up for that long rest?" Players 2-4: "I'm suddenly not tired."
Fixed. You had the numbers mixed up so player 4 was saying player 5's lines.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider. My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong. I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲 “It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
That deserves advantage on Intimidation.👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
So my DM's Homebrew world has a thing called Fish-Bladder which is a special food that allows you to breathe underwater for an hour. our party met a merfolk treasure hunter who asked us to be her bodyguards on a dangerous assignment. our party consisted of, Myself: a half orc, Elvena: a wood elf, and Ruthlu: a yuan-ti pureblood. the dialogue went like this:
Me out of character: so if we are going to help her, we are going to need some Fish-Bladder.
Elvena to DM: I Buy 4 Fish-Bladders!
Ruthlu to Elvena: But The merfolk doesnt need a bladder she can swim fine without one!
Elvena: Fine then! you can stay on the boat! No bladder for you!
Elvena to DM: I only buy 2 Fish-Bladders.
As this is going down me and the DM are just cracking up.
and in another campaign, our tiefling pyromaniac barbarian fails a performance check to a group of raiders in a tavern on comedy night.....
"Hey Whats your favorite building to burn while raiding? mine is an Orphanage. its just so big and there are so many beds. not to mention the sound of children screaming fills my ears with pleasure..."
needless to say, the raiders did not become friendly towards us at that point.
I feel sorry for him. The group I am DMing for is lvl 5 and there are 4 of them. And they trashed a mummy lord. First round. Fire wall and fireball. And extra fireball.
Mummy lord is CR 15. TEN FREAKING CR ABOVE THEIR LEVEL.
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic by Vitaly S Alexius
CR is never really going to be more than an estimate.
¨well shit¨ mordai, unlucky tiefling fiend warlock
not really funny but it because a running joke due to the number of times it was said. (really horrible things happened to me)
This Mug immediately shared with me a transcendental tale of an Infinite Mug that anchors the Universe and keeps it from folding in on itself. I filed this report under "illogical nonsense" and asked why its sign is in Times New Roman font, when it is basic knowledge that Arial Black is a far superior font. I wondered: How did this mug even get past the assembly line with its theistic beliefs and poor font choices?
quote from Romantically Apocalyptic by Vitaly S Alexius
"The rat-man doesn't like the fact that the monk threw a rat at him."
Yes, I threw a rat at the rat-man. Don't judge me. I'm an impulsive Air Genasi monk who also happens to be a moody teenager.
Certified gay geek
Still don’t really know how to play this game, but I love it anyway.
he/they
Our group is playing Icewind Dale. Our party much steamrolled over the Icemaiden when we faced her in the middle of the campaign, but then several levels later we were nearly wiped out by a room full of 8 gelatinous cubes.
===========================
Laugh at life or life will laugh at you.
Current D&D Characters:
Kromen Flintfist, Hill Dwarf Order of the Scribes Wizard/Armorer Artificer
Eiphrok, Half-Orc Oath of Glory Paladin/Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer
Human Wizard: 3 ales, and some juice for the kid
Me said "kid": You know I can YEET you out of this Tavern, right?
Human Wizard: maybe a Sprite?
Changeling Bard: What's a sprite?
They were like the Goblin version of the Animaniacs!
“Desitutus ventis, remos adhibe”
When the Winds fail you, row.
*house rule is roll first for checks and saves, then roleplay result*
Player 1 dismally failed a Persuasion roll for using wiles to convince a guard to look the other way.
Player 1: "Do you want to participate in a little... competitive eating?"
Guard (DM): "Eating as in... 'eating'?"
Player 1: "I mean eating as in eating."
Guard: "I'm confused. Are you talking about food or sex?"
Player 1: "Ew, gross! Of course, I'm talking about food! Yuck! I mean, look at you! You obviously pack away twice your weight in food! You'd be occupied for hours while we snuck into the keep. You smell like you haven't bathed in a year! ...and I don't even want to think about what you meant by 'eating' meaning sex! Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! Icky, yuck! Gross!"
DM: ...
Player 3: What?
DM: I'm trying to decide if this is now an Intimidation check or if the Guard should just take Psychic Damage.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Gunslinger: *gets enchantment put on gun*
“I just realized I don’t remember my own mother’s face.”
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.
Pugilist ( Homebrew class. ): *rolls 1 on unarmed strike*
DM:”You suddenly develop arthritis and your fist jams!”
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.
Context: we are in a post-apocalyptic vampire ninja kingdom ruled by the legendary ninja BBEG and we finally face him in a showdown.
BBEG: Ah, finally able to meet my arch-enemies (Player 1’s PC) and (Player 2’s PC), if you join me, we’ll rule the world together, defy me and I will literally kick you into Hades.
Player 1: *Using ring of 3 wishes* I wish for (BBEG’s name) to cease to exist!”
DM: Okaaaay, the reign of the shinobi king has ended, peace returns to the world, and you are recognized as heroes, when are very old and very famous, a little ninja child comes and breaks the ring, thus ending it’s influence and returning you to the moment you destroyed the ninja king.
BBEG: “Ah, it seems you made an attempt on my life, this is the part where I kick you into Hades.
DM: He swiftly opens a portal and kicks you both through it.
Player 1: Looks like you’re going to the shadow realm, Jimbo.
Mystic v3 should be official, nuff said.
Me, a cleric: *gets knocked out and asks my DM if I can roll a religion check (house rule: if you are affiliated with a god, you can roll a very high DC religion check to revive yourself if you have been ko'ed)*
*makes the throw*
DM: you are bathed in a holy light as you hear angelic voices, your body is raised from the floor and you find yourself awake standing on the battlefield, mace in hand. A true display of the sacred power of Tamrasil." "Aaanyhow, your resurrection took your turn, it's the bandit's turn now."
Bandit: hits me for three damage and instantly drops me again.
It took a deus ex machina in the form of our teacup-wielding Barbarian getting multiple crits in a row on almost no health, as well as a nat 20 intimidation check to get the enemy to consider a truce. (Simultaneously keeping your teacup full, holding it with your pinky, taking occasional sips from it, all while swinging around a greataxe, is apparently a great intimidation tactic, as it shows your enemies how skilled and coordinated you are)
Life is very busy unfortunately, gone from most Pbp's indefinitely.
If you'd like to contact me, I am on Discord at GreatAxeblade#7595, always happy to chat :)
Homebrew races: ~Otterfolk! Play as a otter!~ Playable Dryad! (Literally just the monster sheet ported to player race)
Sauce Archpriest!- Join the Supreme Court of Sauces! Join the Cult of Cults! EXTENDED SIGNATURE Tooltips
This one isn't mine, but was said in response to me on a roleplaying thread.
"It's like if you place acid on a space, but the acid is flying and attacks you, and is a summoned swarm of bugs."
All stars fade. Some stars forever fall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homebrew (Mostly Outdated): Magic Items, Monsters, Spells, Subclasses
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was no light, people wouldn't fear the dark.
Player 5: "Let me try to understand this. You're now telling us that your ultimate goal is to end the world?"
Player 4: "Yup."
Player 5: "So, why have you been travelling with us all this time?"
Player 4: "You know we all got together for a job. I grew to like all of you."
Player 2: "So, you're not going to kill us when you destroy the world."
Player 4: "Oh, I'll definitely kill you, but it'll be quick, painless, by surprise, and before I start the apocalypse."
Player 5: "That's kind of you."
Player 1: "So now that's settled, who's up for that long rest?"
Players 2, 3 and 5: "I'm suddenly not tired."
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Fixed. You had the numbers mixed up so player 4 was saying player 5's lines.
Looking for a campaign? Or, perhaps, trying to start one? Come join Rolegate! Just send me a friend request (same name as here) and I'll help you get started!
Ducks are just geese lite. Focus on the future. It'll become the past soon enough.
Istari and White Counsel in Club. Not the wish-granter of a thread.
Become a Plague Doctor today!
Join the Knights of the Random Table and Calius and Kothar Industries!
Homebrew: Artifact, Dungeon
May be offline due to school
Nvm. I see my error.
Human. Male. Possibly. Don't be a divider.
My characters' backgrounds are written like instruction manuals rather than stories. My opinion and preferences don't mean you're wrong.
I am 99.7603% convinced that the digital dice are messing with me. I roll high when nobody's looking and low when anyone else can see.🎲
“It's a bit early to be thinking about an epitaph. No?” will be my epitaph.
Gnome #1: I think the DM has confused us with Lawn Jockeys...
Gnome #2: We guard gardens, not lawns! Fascist.
Gnome #1: At least they love us in France. No one loves lawn jockeys, except maybe DMs
Gnome #2: Yeah! Vive le France! Vive le gens petite!
“Desitutus ventis, remos adhibe”
When the Winds fail you, row.