you die of cringe from seeing the things you did

I am a discord mod with millions of dollars

…but you can only spend it on butter.

I am indestructible…

but very emotionally fragile

I am a professional slice of bread

But still ragequit your life.

I am a billionaire genius game developer.

But you only made one game.

I can summon the underworld itself

For a 39 hour long, 9’th level VSM spell slot, and 100000000 PP worth of your past reincarnations bones. And then when you do, you are killed, and turned into a skeleton that is used In the Overlords army. 

I have the power to change the monk class, to this.https://www.reddit.com/r/UnearthedArcana/comments/se2eyp/the_monk_retrained_v12_now_with_more_four/

but he can only live 4 years.

i can project movies from my eyes...

...but the movies are all black and white

I can summon demons...

but they don't do your bidding and immediately kill you

I can read minds

... but only animals minds

I can date anime boys ...

but I can never touch them.

I can control fire...

But it still burns you.

I can eat sandwiches.

You get sniped by the sandwich police

Im the eye hole man! You cannot have my eye holes!

I take your life instead.

I can breath in feces.

But you become one each time you do

I can summon demons at will without passing out

whenever you do this you empty your colon into your pants. Which doesnt look or smell flattering

I have sweet dance moves

You get exhausted enough to pass out after doing them

I can drink sand

But it becomes poison that ignores resistance and immunity.

I can use cum to create 9th level spells and I am immune to the negative effects of wish.

But you are a woman and you are immune to the negative effects of wish because you cannot cast wish...

I am immune to all damage...