... and the truth drives you insane.

I have the best of luck.

You now are accused of cheating and are banned from playing anything luck based including dnd.

I have amazing archery skills.

Your skills with a bow are so great, that the national security arrest you for being a lethal weapon.

I can find anything I need to conveniently within 5 minutes.

...but if you do not find the item within 5 minutes of losing it, it will be destroyed and lost forever.

I can always tell the time in my area without a clock/watch...

You now feel compelled to fix any and all clocks you see that are off even by a mere nanosecond.

I can play any instrument masterfully and beautifully.

... but whenever you do the instrument catches fire and is unusable afterwards.

I have the ability to create local gravity pockets.

...which means objects are pulled toward your pockets.

I can create any amount of water when I want and where I want...

But you can use it only a very few times a day and only make a drop of water.

I can communicate with animals telepathically.

But it's a shame they can't understand it.

I can persuade anyone to do anything I want without any effort.

But they always do it wrong and it would be easier to just do it yourself.

I can always make a high-quality, fun video game within a week. 

But it breaks your computer as soon as you finish playing it.

I can regrow any part of my body (such as regrowing lost teeth, regaining a new arm if it got chopped off, etc.).

But the new part is cancerous from growing so fast.

I can speak any language or cypher in the universe...

... but don't understand it.

My power is to create cool background music for the situation.

...but it is so loud it causes irreparable ear damage

I know the current mood of anyone near me...

But, you can't tell exactly who is feeling what.

I can turn to stone and back at will.

The stone is gypsum. Best not use it in the rain!

I am immune to all known diseases and viruses.

But you are a germaphobe.

I know the secrets of the universe.

It's a shame they don't exist.

I can turn images into reality!

The bill for your new 3d printer is over 1000 dollars.

I can Breath air, and water.