Meanwhile back at base, the cloning machine wooby had- which i earlier said i set to auto-clone- should be finished cloning something by now. who would i use as genetic material? Me, of course! the me-clone sat patiently in the machine for a turn or two, waiting to be turned into life energy. due to the absense of the homunculus, nothing happens. confused, my new clone wanders out of the pod and decides to put on some clothes, white armor with gilded patterns along it surface, each piece fitting together flawlessly. since this armor (and the ever-sparking yellow amulet he also equips) is designed to be easy and simple to wear, he can rearrange his stats. having done so, he grabs a backup wand as well, one inscribed with the power of mysterious runes, a weapon which echos its creators desire for dominion over all.
Then, he casts a powerful scrying spell to find Xanmes.
my clone (newest one) suddenly freezes in place, mentally hammering into existance a single word /class and vanishes in a puff of smoke. Meanwhile, in the main bank of a major trading town, a similar puff of smoke occurs,and lands on the ground someone much like me, but holding a bow, one of blue energies, and much weaker. he holds up a piece of white paper, and vanishes in a flash of light-green light. a similar flash occurs in the quartz city i forget the name of, and there he stands. quickly, he reorients himself, switches to a dark cloaklike armor, and casts a spell, launching into the air and soaring over the cities quartz walls (using a tethered arrow to pull on). hitting the ground running, he sprints through the bountiful fields around the quartz city towards the mossy and unhealth swamp-plants of Luxo. roughly a minute later, he waves at a detective in the main city, and not even waiting for a response, sprints off to a run-down house on the outskirts. tossing a compact electromagical bomb at the house, it blows a hole in the floor, alerting the intruder alert. casting an obscure and almost useless spell in conjunction with the escape one, they make their form flicker and warp, like Xanmes' did back when we first came to the goblins mind. more, similar guards- privately owned, the newest model, ones who were guarding this place (a factory of the guards actually), chase after them with a vengeance. the being manages to stay ahead for a fair distance, using his limited mana with wild abandon and sprinting whenever he runs out, but shortly after leaping over a couple mountains, he's run out of steam. but then, he freezes in the water, and... /class there's a puff of smoke, and a short distance away another person, like me but not quite, appears. cloaked in the same spell and wearing the same dark clothing, they swim in the ocean beyond the mountains, the other not-me having vanished already. the guards assume this a transformation and give chase, but this person takes a small boat and quickly moves away, holding a concealed knife and in a shroud of fog as well as distortion. the guards catch up bit by bit, even as the water slows them, but this person manages to arrive at a seasail shop. tossing a few green crystals at the shop runner and swiping a pass for tarkmen. leaping on the boat, he throws in the pass, and the much larger vessel has no problem outpacing the golems. but they are undettered, for they know where the ship is going from its direction, and they'll get the man when he arrives. However, as soon as he's out of sight of the Golems, he goes rigid, and thinks the same oft-spoken word. /Class and we're back to my second clone, popping into existance again. it's been a few minutes, but help is on the way: Top-of-the-line golems, tricked into believing those men to be a shard of Xanmes. My clone steps outside the lab, staff held straight out towards Xanmes, and a wave of magic pulses out, conveying desire to dominate all, pushing into Xanmes mind, distracting him in the combat. now, Xanmes has two compulsions pushing on him- the Totem pulling him to his plane, and the staff pushing him to obey me. not content with just that, my clone walks over to the intuitive nanotech control city center, and molds some of the maleable material- the one representing ice steel- into a cage above us. the nanotech jumps into action, creating an array to make staying here increasingly unconfortable for Xanmes.
MEANWHILE IN XANMES PLANE o o o I cast teleport right up into the homunculus' face, and as they instinctively recoil back, grab their arm. before they can figure out how grapple rules work, I activate a glowing white paper- much like the one used by my second clone, except this one flashes a greyish color. And the homunculus and I are gone, torn across planes, loosing 3 slivers of our souls, and landing on the main city of Hamsord. i will never know what possessed people to make a city on this hunk of flying stone, where any missstep will send you to your death. but it is very difficult to leave, and as the mountains float around, teleportation doesn't work effectively, unless you have access to the obscure teleportation scroll. oh hey, i have a lot of those! good thing i never gave the homunculus any. using a paper written back when we searched for Xanmes, the one saying "~CX ~CY ~CZ", I teleport to my clone. MEANWHILE FOR MY CLONE, BEFORE MY RETURN o o o my clone teleports through 'Rin', yellow light scattering against them and burning the black tendrils on their armor, and lands right in front of Violet, flinging a blue projectile into them and knocking them back, before a gust of cutting wind chills them to the core.
Woah woah woah... one, sally is very first to go, so she would dispel all over Bill before he would stab Alice. Two, the animated armor has no soul, unlike Alice, and was referred to as Alice's "friend" because it was just a creation belonging to Alice.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
Everybody at PoB headquarters knows all about Xanmes' plot, and are spreading word to all the defenders of the multiverse. Thousands of these people are most likely rushing towards this area, from justice league to power puff girls.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
so either there are 4 golems still fighting him, or there are at least... 14. depends on whether the reinforcements(read manipulated guards) have arrived yet. we should have more then enough time to finish off his minions. clone2 drops his staff into the chest, taking instead the shard of moonlight favored by clone1. he fires off bolts at Xanmes, but aims to stall and weaken, slowing with massive ice shards sticking to his form and vision flickering from dimensional disruption. just gotta keep him from doing anything important... He also yells at the scientist to fix up one of the broken golems, staying alive is more important then goblinish discussions!
one problem, the Homunculus shouldn't die. that would be bad. So, instead, my clone is the one who heads off with the homunculus, not me. make that change please, and my main self uses celestial bolts to harass violet. and my clone doesn't come back. it's time to brawl him back into being on my side. My clone, after arrival at hams sword, opens with a teleport, blinding the homunculus as the magical energies flow through him. dodging the homunculus' blind retaliation backwards into a bank, he idly reaches his hand into the bank chest while pretending to lean on it. into the chest he drops the lunar spine, and out comes the staff of the Uth, helpfully provided by Clone2. teleporting aside again to avoid another attack, he shoos away all the nearby hams swordians, and goes on the mental offensive. a push of dominance pulses from the staff, directed into the homunculus, and after blocking off immediate attacks with earth manipulation, my clone pauses, dipping into his own mind to redirect his skills into Intelligence (putting, all in all, 188 points into the thing, which would make all spells free mana-wise and is almost the best intelligence possible). his armor, or at least, most of his armor, suddenly feels ungainly and ineffective, but no matter. the helmet still works, and the great Staff is indeed supercharged. let's metaphorically boogie, traitor.
since the reinforcements aren't here yet, Clone2 Also throws a few innocuous-seeming items along in his barrage, including a band of ice, boots made of solid dolomite, a stiff, rigid chestplate made of bones, a kitten, and a blob of plant fibers vaguely resembling leggings. whenever one of these items brushes against Xanmes' skin, he feels sluggish for a moment, and every one of these has been covered in extremely sticky goo, keeping him from getting them off without a focussed effort.
JOEclone2: Yes, you are. The stave flashes blue, and a mariade of glowing projectiles fire out from it. each curves and dodges in the air as if alive, and reaches the knocked-off items before they can hit the ground. they then all swerve, pointing towards xanmes, and deposit their payload into the objects: a whole bunch of kinetic energy. each item once more arcs towards Xanmes, with increased speed this time. JOEclone2: useless, that is. While this Distracts Xanmes, my second clone waves his hand, a dark void with a few specks of light appearing before him. he reaches in, and pulls out a new staff, one made of bloodred material. on closer inspection, however, he's not quite touching this wand, instead levitating it a short distance from his hand. the void closes, and he puts down his original stave, then ceases levitating his new one, dropping it onto the old. but they don't collide, no. instead, the new wand melts and fuses with the old, elongating it, darkening the wood... veins of red and black run along the staff, and where once there was was a glowing orb, now is a black sphere, wreathed in a thin layer of red flame. Nodding with satisfaction, my clone stamps the stave to the ground, which rumbles for a moment, before spikes of the darkest obsidian burst from the ground, all pointing towards Xanmes, hemming him in. the staff lifts from the ground, and though new spikes cease appearing, orange magma now erupts,sealing the gaps in the spikes. content that this will be enough to slow Xanmes down, at least, he thinks that word again: /Class that one aboard the boat appears oncemore, but the boat is gone and so he splashes into the water. taking a white scroll, he teleports elsewhere. Landing near smort,he wordlessly sneaks into Slykar's office, and grabs a scroll with ingredients. then, he sets off into the nearby jungle. Though Slykar didn't know it, there was a very good way to get life energy, for deep in the jungle, in a ruin past its prime, there is a cursed sheep- the color of lime.it shall henceforth be refereed to as 'slime sheep'. The dagger-holding one arrives at the ruin, and lures the cursed sheep out of its ruin. then, he casts a spell, knocking the sheep around several times before sending it flying into a nearby river. following it to there, he takes out another small boat, and starts pushing the sheep downstream. /class he vanishes, and Clone2 returns. he reinforces the cage while the sheep floats downstream, animating the lava to defend and fixing the holes, before causing all the fatigue-causing items to gravitate towards Xanmes for 60 seconds. satisfied for the moment, he thinks again: /Class another puff of smoke, the cloaked assassin again. it swims to the sheep, and directs it into a side-path. then, it takes out some dynamite. setting it off, the sheep goes flying... unharmed, because water stops explosion damage! but it flys. as the sheep soars, a black rift appears before the assassin, and in he drops slykar's scroll. /class My clone appears. his defences held Xanmes, or they did not, but regardless the golems likely kept him here. and it is then, in the middle of combat, that he hurriedly speaks a word and forms a puddle of water, catching the falling slime sheep. then, with another torn hole in space, he retrieves slykar's scroll, and sacrifices the sheep. Honestly, All this trouble to get the job done without any people dying. a hole, gaping and grey, tinted with green at the edges, appears in the ground. it leads to a decaying pocket of reality, its magic so esoteric that even if Xanmes knows of it, he'll have trouble leaving. Next step: Get Xanmes into there.
so... he didn't get hurt. that doesn't really affect the rest of the action, so i assume I managed to create the shamanic rift. JOEClone2: been terrible knowing you, Xan'. The clone flicks their hand, sending the corrupt staff flying into the air. at the same time, their other hand shoots to the left, where a tear forms again for a moment. back comes their hand, holding a gnarled, ancient looking stave. as the corrupt one reaches eye level, he knocks it forwards with a burst of magic, into another tear, which seems to have formed faster this time. a bolt of cyan light then fires out from the stave, colliding with Xanmes' shield in a shower of sparks, and with deft hand movements, the clone twirls their new staff. the focal point of the magic leaves behind a glowing line, a perfect circle, as it spins. the sparks near Xanmes spin as well, the same way. a sphere around him, just barely larger then his barrier. 8 mana goes into the spell, and each glowing spark triples in size, blocking off all Xanmes' view. a teleportation, and in an instant, a square of blue powder is carved and sprinkled around the shamanic rift. the clone catches the spinning staff and raises the staff to the sky, drawing magic from the nature and surrounding world. and then, the staff's focal point dims. meanwhile, the sphere around Xanmes becomes... a strange distortion, as if the area within it does not exist, things reach the edge and appear on the other end. the shamanic rift disappears as well, though in its place is pure blackness, and the powder around it is glowing fiercely. Xanmes, on the other hand, sees the shaman's realm around him in all directions, as though already inside. because he is already inside. grey of varying shades stretches out everywhere, and green blobs roam the ground. wat does he du.
My clone levitates his staff in front of him, and reaches back into the world-warping chest behind him. out come 8 rings, an armband, and amulet, all but the amulet already on. the amulet glows a pulsing blue, granting +12 inteligence while worn (as well as +mana regen, and reflecting attacks). similar goes for the armband, except it grants +8 inteligence and increases mana theft and all water abilities. the rings Again pulse the same color, but they provide +5 inteligence and are a combination of the effects of the other two, weaker however. Overall, he now has... 218 intelligence. that's definitely enough to lower spell costs to 5% or less. so, he casts a large-scale variant of the teleport spell, bringing in the massive machine of veekhart. it can switch the minds of beings between bodies. the clone sends pulses of conflicting impulses as the homunculus, confusing it, via the strange staff. then, he thinks the oft-repeated oft-abused word: /Class /class is a missnomer, however. there is more then 1 instance of each class available. it is more aptly named '/char' or similar, but regardless. The character is selected: dark wizard. using a variety of exploits, it is possible forone to reach hams sword while being so weak that any of its residents could kill you by breathing on you. this character is not quite so weak, but he is still only a fraction of the strength of JOE. knowing what he must do, he switches minds with the homunculus. the homunculus is now within the body of a dark wizard, and the dark wizard in the homunculus body. Before Xanmes' compulsion can affect the dark wizard's mind, he thinks a word. /Class you see, you said he had Xanmes baked into his DNA. by switching bodies, that no longer affects the homunculus. and while it Would affect the dark wizard's mind in the homunculus' body, /Class is shifting this body into nonexistance and plopping a new one down. all that needs to be done is for the non-existant homunculus-body to be non-existant until Xanmes' is dealt with. now, before the homunculus can do anything (it might still feel some loyalty to Xanmes. not risking it.), my clone takes the staff again , and with his Inteligence of more then 8 times larger then the dark-wizard-munculus and his vast reserve of mana, he easily dominates them into following their original directive: Maximize utility as defined by the CEV of JOE.
wow, I almost completely forgot about the part where I have to act in the battle as well. I crouch, and spin my glowing staff above my head at immense speed, sending bolts of energy flying in random directions. some hit something, and if that something ends up being an ally, it heals, if it's an enemy, it deals damage, or at least inconveniences. but the vast majority keep going, off into the distance. then, i slowly change the angle of the spinning wand-disk, then catch the wand, pointed towards Alice. a scattershot of teal light fires out and impacts alice, but it does not fade on impact. then, the scattered bolts in the distance stop, and change direction, and flying directly back towards alice, at immense speeds, all coliding with here over the course of a few seconds.
Meanwhile back at base, the cloning machine wooby had- which i earlier said i set to auto-clone- should be finished cloning something by now. who would i use as genetic material? Me, of course! the me-clone sat patiently in the machine for a turn or two, waiting to be turned into life energy.
due to the absense of the homunculus, nothing happens. confused, my new clone wanders out of the pod and decides to put on some clothes, white armor with gilded patterns along it surface, each piece fitting together flawlessly. since this armor (and the ever-sparking yellow amulet he also equips) is designed to be easy and simple to wear, he can rearrange his stats. having done so, he grabs a backup wand as well, one inscribed with the power of mysterious runes, a weapon which echos its creators desire for dominion over all.
Then, he casts a powerful scrying spell to find Xanmes.
my clone (newest one) suddenly freezes in place, mentally hammering into existance a single word
/class
and vanishes in a puff of smoke.
Meanwhile, in the main bank of a major trading town, a similar puff of smoke occurs,and lands on the ground someone much like me, but holding a bow, one of blue energies, and much weaker. he holds up a piece of white paper, and vanishes in a flash of light-green light.
a similar flash occurs in the quartz city i forget the name of, and there he stands. quickly, he reorients himself, switches to a dark cloaklike armor, and casts a spell, launching into the air and soaring over the cities quartz walls (using a tethered arrow to pull on). hitting the ground running, he sprints through the bountiful fields around the quartz city towards the mossy and unhealth swamp-plants of Luxo. roughly a minute later, he waves at a detective in the main city, and not even waiting for a response, sprints off to a run-down house on the outskirts. tossing a compact electromagical bomb at the house, it blows a hole in the floor, alerting the intruder alert. casting an obscure and almost useless spell in conjunction with the escape one, they make their form flicker and warp, like Xanmes' did back when we first came to the goblins mind. more, similar guards- privately owned, the newest model, ones who were guarding this place (a factory of the guards actually), chase after them with a vengeance. the being manages to stay ahead for a fair distance, using his limited mana with wild abandon and sprinting whenever he runs out, but shortly after leaping over a couple mountains, he's run out of steam. but then, he freezes in the water, and...
/class
there's a puff of smoke, and a short distance away another person, like me but not quite, appears. cloaked in the same spell and wearing the same dark clothing, they swim in the ocean beyond the mountains, the other not-me having vanished already. the guards assume this a transformation and give chase, but this person takes a small boat and quickly moves away, holding a concealed knife and in a shroud of fog as well as distortion. the guards catch up bit by bit, even as the water slows them, but this person manages to arrive at a seasail shop. tossing a few green crystals at the shop runner and swiping a pass for tarkmen. leaping on the boat, he throws in the pass, and the much larger vessel has no problem outpacing the golems. but they are undettered, for they know where the ship is going from its direction, and they'll get the man when he arrives.
However, as soon as he's out of sight of the Golems, he goes rigid, and thinks the same oft-spoken word.
/Class
and we're back to my second clone, popping into existance again. it's been a few minutes, but help is on the way: Top-of-the-line golems, tricked into believing those men to be a shard of Xanmes. My clone steps outside the lab, staff held straight out towards Xanmes, and a wave of magic pulses out, conveying desire to dominate all, pushing into Xanmes mind, distracting him in the combat. now, Xanmes has two compulsions pushing on him- the Totem pulling him to his plane, and the staff pushing him to obey me. not content with just that, my clone walks over to the intuitive nanotech control city center, and molds some of the maleable material- the one representing ice steel- into a cage above us. the nanotech jumps into action, creating an array to make staying here increasingly unconfortable for Xanmes.
MEANWHILE IN XANMES PLANE o o o
I cast teleport right up into the homunculus' face, and as they instinctively recoil back, grab their arm. before they can figure out how grapple rules work, I activate a glowing white paper- much like the one used by my second clone, except this one flashes a greyish color.
And the homunculus and I are gone, torn across planes, loosing 3 slivers of our souls, and landing on the main city of Hamsord. i will never know what possessed people to make a city on this hunk of flying stone, where any missstep will send you to your death. but it is very difficult to leave, and as the mountains float around, teleportation doesn't work effectively, unless you have access to the obscure teleportation scroll.
oh hey, i have a lot of those! good thing i never gave the homunculus any.
using a paper written back when we searched for Xanmes, the one saying "~CX ~CY ~CZ", I teleport to my clone.
MEANWHILE FOR MY CLONE, BEFORE MY RETURN o o o
my clone teleports through 'Rin', yellow light scattering against them and burning the black tendrils on their armor, and lands right in front of Violet, flinging a blue projectile into them and knocking them back, before a gust of cutting wind chills them to the core.
Woah woah woah... one, sally is very first to go, so she would dispel all over Bill before he would stab Alice. Two, the animated armor has no soul, unlike Alice, and was referred to as Alice's "friend" because it was just a creation belonging to Alice.
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
Everybody at PoB headquarters knows all about Xanmes' plot, and are spreading word to all the defenders of the multiverse. Thousands of these people are most likely rushing towards this area, from justice league to power puff girls.
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
so either there are 4 golems still fighting him, or there are at least... 14. depends on whether the reinforcements(read manipulated guards) have arrived yet. we should have more then enough time to finish off his minions. clone2 drops his staff into the chest, taking instead the shard of moonlight favored by clone1. he fires off bolts at Xanmes, but aims to stall and weaken, slowing with massive ice shards sticking to his form and vision flickering from dimensional disruption. just gotta keep him from doing anything important...
He also yells at the scientist to fix up one of the broken golems, staying alive is more important then goblinish discussions!
one problem, the Homunculus shouldn't die. that would be bad. So, instead, my clone is the one who heads off with the homunculus, not me. make that change please, and my main self uses celestial bolts to harass violet.
and my clone doesn't come back. it's time to brawl him back into being on my side.
My clone, after arrival at hams sword, opens with a teleport, blinding the homunculus as the magical energies flow through him. dodging the homunculus' blind retaliation backwards into a bank, he idly reaches his hand into the bank chest while pretending to lean on it. into the chest he drops the lunar spine, and out comes the staff of the Uth, helpfully provided by Clone2. teleporting aside again to avoid another attack, he shoos away all the nearby hams swordians, and goes on the mental offensive. a push of dominance pulses from the staff, directed into the homunculus, and after blocking off immediate attacks with earth manipulation, my clone pauses, dipping into his own mind to redirect his skills into Intelligence (putting, all in all, 188 points into the thing, which would make all spells free mana-wise and is almost the best intelligence possible). his armor, or at least, most of his armor, suddenly feels ungainly and ineffective, but no matter. the helmet still works, and the great Staff is indeed supercharged. let's metaphorically boogie, traitor.
since the reinforcements aren't here yet, Clone2 Also throws a few innocuous-seeming items along in his barrage, including a band of ice, boots made of solid dolomite, a stiff, rigid chestplate made of bones, a kitten, and a blob of plant fibers vaguely resembling leggings. whenever one of these items brushes against Xanmes' skin, he feels sluggish for a moment, and every one of these has been covered in extremely sticky goo, keeping him from getting them off without a focussed effort.
JOEclone2: Yes, you are.
The stave flashes blue, and a mariade of glowing projectiles fire out from it. each curves and dodges in the air as if alive, and reaches the knocked-off items before they can hit the ground. they then all swerve, pointing towards xanmes, and deposit their payload into the objects: a whole bunch of kinetic energy. each item once more arcs towards Xanmes, with increased speed this time.
JOEclone2: useless, that is.
While this Distracts Xanmes, my second clone waves his hand, a dark void with a few specks of light appearing before him. he reaches in, and pulls out a new staff, one made of bloodred material. on closer inspection, however, he's not quite touching this wand, instead levitating it a short distance from his hand. the void closes, and he puts down his original stave, then ceases levitating his new one, dropping it onto the old. but they don't collide, no. instead, the new wand melts and fuses with the old, elongating it, darkening the wood... veins of red and black run along the staff, and where once there was was a glowing orb, now is a black sphere, wreathed in a thin layer of red flame.
Nodding with satisfaction, my clone stamps the stave to the ground, which rumbles for a moment, before spikes of the darkest obsidian burst from the ground, all pointing towards Xanmes, hemming him in. the staff lifts from the ground, and though new spikes cease appearing, orange magma now erupts,sealing the gaps in the spikes. content that this will be enough to slow Xanmes down, at least, he thinks that word again:
/Class
that one aboard the boat appears oncemore, but the boat is gone and so he splashes into the water. taking a white scroll, he teleports elsewhere.
Landing near smort,he wordlessly sneaks into Slykar's office, and grabs a scroll with ingredients. then, he sets off into the nearby jungle.
Though Slykar didn't know it, there was a very good way to get life energy, for deep in the jungle, in a ruin past its prime, there is a cursed sheep- the color of lime.it shall henceforth be refereed to as 'slime sheep'.
The dagger-holding one arrives at the ruin, and lures the cursed sheep out of its ruin. then, he casts a spell, knocking the sheep around several times before sending it flying into a nearby river. following it to there, he takes out another small boat, and starts pushing the sheep downstream.
/class
he vanishes, and Clone2 returns. he reinforces the cage while the sheep floats downstream, animating the lava to defend and fixing the holes, before causing all the fatigue-causing items to gravitate towards Xanmes for 60 seconds. satisfied for the moment, he thinks again:
/Class
another puff of smoke, the cloaked assassin again. it swims to the sheep, and directs it into a side-path.
then, it takes out some dynamite.
setting it off, the sheep goes flying... unharmed, because water stops explosion damage! but it flys. as the sheep soars, a black rift appears before the assassin, and in he drops slykar's scroll.
/class
My clone appears. his defences held Xanmes, or they did not, but regardless the golems likely kept him here. and it is then, in the middle of combat, that he hurriedly speaks a word and forms a puddle of water, catching the falling slime sheep. then, with another torn hole in space, he retrieves slykar's scroll, and sacrifices the sheep.
Honestly, All this trouble to get the job done without any people dying.
a hole, gaping and grey, tinted with green at the edges, appears in the ground. it leads to a decaying pocket of reality, its magic so esoteric that even if Xanmes knows of it, he'll have trouble leaving.
Next step: Get Xanmes into there.
Sally was first on initiative, Alice was low.
Bill chomps down on some tasty monk brain.
Todd stabs at the monk with the bladed end of his bow.
Riley's glaive is regenerated, and she plunges it into the paladin
Arnold picks up the paladin and throws it at the monk
Alice chops at the monk in tandem with the animated armor
Lenny stabbety stabs some more at the paladin.
Sally flies up and dive-bombs the paladin
Sebastian lacerates the monk's legs
I have my wolves continue chewing on the paladin, and turn to the monk, blasting a fireball at it.
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."
so... he didn't get hurt. that doesn't really affect the rest of the action, so i assume I managed to create the shamanic rift.
JOEClone2: been terrible knowing you, Xan'.
The clone flicks their hand, sending the corrupt staff flying into the air. at the same time, their other hand shoots to the left, where a tear forms again for a moment. back comes their hand, holding a gnarled, ancient looking stave. as the corrupt one reaches eye level, he knocks it forwards with a burst of magic, into another tear, which seems to have formed faster this time. a bolt of cyan light then fires out from the stave, colliding with Xanmes' shield in a shower of sparks, and with deft hand movements, the clone twirls their new staff. the focal point of the magic leaves behind a glowing line, a perfect circle, as it spins. the sparks near Xanmes spin as well, the same way. a sphere around him, just barely larger then his barrier. 8 mana goes into the spell, and each glowing spark triples in size, blocking off all Xanmes' view. a teleportation, and in an instant, a square of blue powder is carved and sprinkled around the shamanic rift.
the clone catches the spinning staff and raises the staff to the sky, drawing magic from the nature and surrounding world. and then, the staff's focal point dims. meanwhile, the sphere around Xanmes becomes... a strange distortion, as if the area within it does not exist, things reach the edge and appear on the other end. the shamanic rift disappears as well, though in its place is pure blackness, and the powder around it is glowing fiercely.
Xanmes, on the other hand, sees the shaman's realm around him in all directions, as though already inside. because he is already inside. grey of varying shades stretches out everywhere, and green blobs roam the ground. wat does he du.
My clone levitates his staff in front of him, and reaches back into the world-warping chest behind him. out come 8 rings, an armband, and amulet, all but the amulet already on. the amulet glows a pulsing blue, granting +12 inteligence while worn (as well as +mana regen, and reflecting attacks). similar goes for the armband, except it grants +8 inteligence and increases mana theft and all water abilities. the rings Again pulse the same color, but they provide +5 inteligence and are a combination of the effects of the other two, weaker however.
Overall, he now has... 218 intelligence. that's definitely enough to lower spell costs to 5% or less.
so, he casts a large-scale variant of the teleport spell, bringing in the massive machine of veekhart. it can switch the minds of beings between bodies. the clone sends pulses of conflicting impulses as the homunculus, confusing it, via the strange staff. then, he thinks the oft-repeated oft-abused word:
/Class
/class is a missnomer, however. there is more then 1 instance of each class available. it is more aptly named '/char' or similar, but regardless.
The character is selected: dark wizard. using a variety of exploits, it is possible forone to reach hams sword while being so weak that any of its residents could kill you by breathing on you. this character is not quite so weak, but he is still only a fraction of the strength of JOE.
knowing what he must do, he switches minds with the homunculus. the homunculus is now within the body of a dark wizard, and the dark wizard in the homunculus body. Before Xanmes' compulsion can affect the dark wizard's mind, he thinks a word.
/Class
you see, you said he had Xanmes baked into his DNA. by switching bodies, that no longer affects the homunculus. and while it Would affect the dark wizard's mind in the homunculus' body, /Class is shifting this body into nonexistance and plopping a new one down.
all that needs to be done is for the non-existant homunculus-body to be non-existant until Xanmes' is dealt with.
now, before the homunculus can do anything (it might still feel some loyalty to Xanmes. not risking it.), my clone takes the staff again , and with his Inteligence of more then 8 times larger then the dark-wizard-munculus and his vast reserve of mana, he easily dominates them into following their original directive: Maximize utility as defined by the CEV of JOE.
wow, I almost completely forgot about the part where I have to act in the battle as well. I crouch, and spin my glowing staff above my head at immense speed, sending bolts of energy flying in random directions. some hit something, and if that something ends up being an ally, it heals, if it's an enemy, it deals damage, or at least inconveniences.
but the vast majority keep going, off into the distance.
then, i slowly change the angle of the spinning wand-disk, then catch the wand, pointed towards Alice. a scattershot of teal light fires out and impacts alice, but it does not fade on impact. then, the scattered bolts in the distance stop, and change direction, and flying directly back towards alice, at immense speeds, all coliding with here over the course of a few seconds.
Bill casts disintegrate on Axel.(I feel so bad for doing this)
Todd sticks arrows into violet.
Riley sweeps violet off her feet, then stabs her.
Arnold bounds violet into the ground with both arms.
Alice and the animated armor hold violet down on the ground, breaking her fingers so she can't use somatic components.
Lenny chops up violet's faceu
Sally drives her khopesh deep into violet's heart
Sebastian tears off violet's arm
I crush violet's windpipe as my wolves feast on her.
"Ignorance is bliss, and you look absolutely miserable."