Granted, but since "Actions" don't exist in the real world, you can never use your ability. ;-)

I wish for the person that posts after me to tell me why all the humans were imprisoned as a result of my previous wish.

Granted, they were imprisoned because after collectively agreeing that the Ranger class was totally balanced and not at all underwhelming, the aliens watching us concluded that we were all collectively insane and put us in a mental hospital.

I wish that I had the DeLorean from Back to the Future Part 2 (the one with a working Mr. Fusion). Not the car used in the filming, the actual time travelling one.

Granted, you ate now in a demiplane of pure nothingness.

I wish that I could shapeshift

Wish granted you could shapeshift be you can’t because you gust have this nagging felling not to.

I wish I had a good science teacher 

Granted, your science teacher is great, so great, he was once involved in starting up a pharmaceutical giant.  Unfortunately, he was bought out before hitting the big time, and is now forced to teach at your school.  Even worse, he just got lung cancer, and needs money for the family. Consequently, he has decided to start making crystal meth with your help.

I wish Community got a seventh season.

Community gets a 7th season but everyone is played by Hitler and it has a budget of $0

I wish to become the next dnd adventure writer 

Great, the dnd team (or whatever subdivision of wotc it is) get fired and are unable to get new jobs, and you become the new entire dnd team. Do you feel good about yourself?

I wish that nobody twists my wishes!

(OMG that was literally the thing I was thinking of doing with my last wish) Your wishes will now be bent

I want to be a better DM

You remain wanting to be a better DM, as you haven't actually wished for anything, maybe next time try using your wish.

I wish I had the ability to forget certain things that I know, at my command

You can choose when you when you forget things but it's completely random what you forget

I wish to be a better DM

Granted, you are now 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000023% better at being a Direct Messenger, good job.

I wish I was 50% smarter in all subjects than I currently am

Wish granted, you are now 50% smarter at subjects in conversation such as, hows the weather, dating, and what video games you've been playing recently

I wish to be as good and skilled of a Dungeon Master as I can be

Granted, but you have already reached your maximum potential, so nothing happens (You really want that wish ey?)

I wish Lays brand chips had only enough air in them that was required for the chips to not get damaged, but not as much as they have now

Wish granted, the chips now have no air in them and to stop them from getting damaged there are now multiple layers of sliced ham around the chips to cushion their fall

I wish that I could stop having to enter in wishes

Granted, you are now a kid named Dennis living in 1785, you have several different deadly diseases, and you will probably die before your 12th birthday, but hey, you don't have to write wishes anymore

I wish Signatures on D&D Beyond had no limit to how long they could be, and if they were longer than 10 lines, they could be scrolled to reveal more of the signature

To be honest I agree, I will not twist this wish

I wish to understand why we're writing these wishes

No one knows, and that is exactly what you learn (also, that's not how this game works!)

I wish Escape Rooms were very popular, yet also at a very reasonable price

Granted! They are loaded towards the 1s

I wish that more D&D shows were made canon, like Critical Role has been (Arkhan the Cruel w/ Hand of Vecna in Into the Abyss)

Ok, all dnd podcasts and shows are now canon, which contradicts the laws of spacetime and so all DnD worlds canonically fold into themselves

I wish to not make a wish