Turns out the heavens got bought out by google.

I wish for Juice WRLD to come back.

Granted, but now his music is everywhere

I wish for gacha life to be removed permanently 

Granted, but so do you.

I wish to buy out the heavens.

GOD SAYS NO.

i wish to be God.

granted, but you become the god of kraft mac n cheese

I wish to be extremely intelligent 

Quote from cynophobia_ >>

granted, but you become the god of kraft mac n cheese

I wish to be extremely intelligent 

 You are extremely intelligent. So intelligent, in fact, that your feeble body cannot contain your unparalleled brilliance. Your body crumples and you die.

I wish that I will get 100% on my next math test.

you get that 100, wow good job, but oh no it was only weighted 1% of your total grade so you still have a B in the class

I wish that borrelia was a happy place with no demons

too bad. you go to the prison plane.

I wish to be the god of no loopholes

Quote from cynophobia_ >>

you get that 100, wow good job, but oh no it was only weighted 1% of your total grade so you still have a B in the class

I wish that borrelia was a happy place with no demons

 It is a place with no demons. Just a lot of demonspawn.

I wish that Kane wouldn't be such a sad boi all the time.

Quote from DMX666 >>

too bad. you go to the prison plane.

I wish to be the god of no loopholes

 You become the god of no loopholes. your powers include tying knots with no loopholes

I wish to own candlekeep mysteries

Quote from Thauraeln_The_Bold >>

Quote from cynophobia_ >>

you get that 100, wow good job, but oh no it was only weighted 1% of your total grade so you still have a B in the class

I wish that borrelia was a happy place with no demons

 It is a place with no demons. Just a lot of demonspawn.

I wish that Kane wouldn't be such a sad boi all the time.

 He becomes happy. For one millisecond.

I wish that my classes were less boring.

Quote from Thauraeln_The_Bold >>

Quote from cynophobia_ >>

you get that 100, wow good job, but oh no it was only weighted 1% of your total grade so you still have a B in the class

I wish that borrelia was a happy place with no demons

 It is a place with no demons. Just a lot of demonspawn.

I wish that Kane wouldn't be such a sad boi all the time.

 unfortunately, not even a wish spell can fix that

I wish to have more than 2 followers

Quote from Thauraeln_The_Bold >>

Quote from cynophobia_ >>

you get that 100, wow good job, but oh no it was only weighted 1% of your total grade so you still have a B in the class

I wish that borrelia was a happy place with no demons

 It is a place with no demons. Just a lot of demonspawn.

I wish that Kane wouldn't be such a sad boi all the time.

 Granted, now he's an angry boi.

Quote from DMX666 >>

too bad. you go to the prison plane.

I wish to be the god of no loopholes

 Granted, you are the god of no loopholes. Unfortunately, that means you are lawful neutral.

I wish to be able to void any contract immediately.

Quote from MandosMindos_KoR >>

Quote from Thauraeln_The_Bold >>

Quote from cynophobia_ >>

you get that 100, wow good job, but oh no it was only weighted 1% of your total grade so you still have a B in the class

I wish that borrelia was a happy place with no demons

 It is a place with no demons. Just a lot of demonspawn.

I wish that Kane wouldn't be such a sad boi all the time.

 He becomes happy. For one millisecond.

 That's the first time in a few years, I think.

Quote from MandosMindos_KoR 

I wish that my classes were less boring.

 They're less boring, That doesn't make them not boring.

I wish to finally have enough time to finish Endgame.

Ok, but when you do, you have to spend 48 hours being crushed by the gears of Mechanus.

i wish to be chaotic evil but to be viewed as neutral, no matter what i do.

Quote from MilestoGo_24 >>

Quote from Thauraeln_The_Bold >>

Quote from cynophobia_ >>

you get that 100, wow good job, but oh no it was only weighted 1% of your total grade so you still have a B in the class

I wish that borrelia was a happy place with no demons

 It is a place with no demons. Just a lot of demonspawn.

I wish that Kane wouldn't be such a sad boi all the time.

 Granted, now he's an angry boi.

Quote from DMX666 >>

too bad. you go to the prison plane.

I wish to be the god of no loopholes

 Granted, you are the god of no loopholes. Unfortunately, that means you are lawful neutral.

I wish to be able to void any contract immediately.

 granted, but now no one wants to make contracts with you

i wish for peace and quiet

Granted. Nobody posts on any forums for the next ten minutes.

I wish to be the king of modrons.

Quote from Thauraeln_The_Bold >>

 They're less boring, That doesn't make them not boring.

I wish to finally have enough time to finish Endgame.

 You now have the time, but endgame turns out to be worse than you thought

I wish to be able to post art on dndbeyond

You can, but your art is classified and becomes [RENACTED] by Sedge.

i wish for more people to join the Pride of Pandas and get cookies and pandas.

plz do

u will get a cool title

its on adohands kitchen

Granted, but nobody enjoys it.

I wish to be able to cast fireball whenever i want.