Granted. You are now the proud owner of one of the actors from Friends. 

I still wish I had ice in the freezer.

Wish granted. The mechanical parts in the freezer freeze and it breaks down 

I wish that every thing I wish for will grant exactly the way I want it

wish granted. all your wishes are now granted in super literal interpritaion

i wish for slinkys that don't get tangled

Granted. But to ensure non-entanglement they're exceedingly rigid and don't go down stairs.

I wish I could just cast Unseen Servant to clean dishes.

You can. But they don’t clean your dishes. They clean Vecna’s. 

I wish to live in an anime and reincarnate into a new one every time I die.

Granted. Get ready for Made In Abyss, Promised Neverland, and others like that.

I wish for a lightsaber.

So you get a lightsaber BUT with no practice you instantly (accidentally) kill yourself

I wish for a snow fox

Granted. You get a snow sculpture of a fox. But it's summer and hot.

I wish for a spear and a holder to hang it with.

granted but the spear is rusted

I wish for Hawks from My Hero Academia to be my boyfriend

Granted, you get a hawks body pillow 

I wish for Toga Himiko to be my girlfriend 

Granted, Toga becomes your girlfriend, but you must give her blood every 30 minutes

I wish for Noi to be my first friend ever T_T

[[ i can live with that *giggles is masochist*  ]]

bro we were friends the moment I saw your pfp 

I wish for dark to accept my friendship

(*Smirks with my salt and candles ready*)

granted but you must agree that Tamaki Amajiki is hot, cute, and shy

I wish for my summoning of Lucifer doesn't end up bad

[[ takami is Hot, Cute, and Shy, a perfect little introverted bundle of happiness ]] 

It doesn’t, but that’s because you accidentally summoned a minor demon instead of our glorious Fallen Angel 

I wish for DOOM

granted but you get a Cute Kitty Name DOOM

I wish for my drawings to turn real

Good wish bro I ain’t gonna twist it 

I wish MY drawings would come to life too :]

Granted, but now you have to pay child support for them. 

I wish my cauliflower plant wasn't rotting the cauliflower head as we speak.

Granted. It is a seed again. 

i wish to kiss Rin Okumura

Granted. He bites you.

I wish to experience zero-gravity.

You get launched into space! Without a spaceship! 

i wish to throw myself off a roof