Granted. But his wish was uniquely uncorrupted and the effects are pretty bad for you. 

Granted. Humanity is saved from the potato-alien cataclysm. But what's that on the horizon? It seems the Mole People have been biding their time and have decided that now is the time to strike. 

I wish it was easier to wake up in the morning. 

Granted! Now, at 2 a.m. every single morning bells and horns appear out of thin air, ringing and honking, as do buckets of ice cold water, which dump their contents on you, then magically refill themselves and repeat the proccess. 

I wish for one pet blink dog. 

Granted! It immediately blinks away from you as its feral.

I wish for a better vegan cheese

Quote from abigailwnewman >>

Granted! It immediately blinks away from you as its feral.

 

 

I wish for a better vegan cheese

 Granted! It appears and immediately eats you instead of you eating it.

I wish for a pet giant lynx who can understand my every mood.

You suddenly get insane mood swings and the lynx gets confused and runs away.

I wish for the power to overcome my stupid shyness. 

It works but only online.

I wish the world of the Aberrant RPG was real and I was a female version of Divis Mal (the lead villain in the game, kinda like Magneto but younger and hotter)

Quote from PenelopeTheWeaver >>

It works but only online.

I wish the world of the Aberrant RPG was real and I was a female version of Divis Mal (the lead villain in the game, kinda like Magneto but younger and hotter)

 Granted. Enjoy being surrounded by teenagers for the rest of your life as that one teacher.

I wish that this wish would have no consequences.

Quote from RangerTwoBlades >>

Quote from PenelopeTheWeaver >>

It works but only online.

I wish the world of the Aberrant RPG was real and I was a female version of Divis Mal (the lead villain in the game, kinda like Magneto but younger and hotter)

 Granted. Enjoy being surrounded by teenagers for the rest of your life as that one teacher.

I wish that this wish would have no consequences.

 Hahaha!

Granted. This wish has no consequences but no effect either.

I wish to be able to transform into any kind of elemental I want for up to 12 hrs at a time but keep my human intelligence and personality.

Granted, you become an elemental for 12 hours and then die because you evaporated.

I wish for a slice of cake

Granted. You turn into a piece of cake and get eaten by a Cake Monster.

I wish to know everything that’s written down in the books in Candlekeep library.

Granted! You have been locked into the library and can't leave until you memorize EVERYTHING.

I wish all of humanity, including me, would be wiped out so that the pangolins could take over and rule everything.

Granted. You’re dead. The pangolins fight amongst each other and wipe each other out in a matter of weeks.

I wish for three more wishes that can’t be twisted.

Granted! Thanks for the three wishes! I wish for another wish. I now wish for another wish. I now wish for just one more wish for now. 

I wish my IQ would go up by 1. 

Granted. But unfortunately, despite your 255 IQ, you didn't realize your IQ was being stored in a 1 byte unsigned int. And so 255+1 = 0. Hooray for integer overflow!

I wish for a jetpack.  

But with a jetpack comes a joyride, and you hit a laser and die. 

I wish I had my 255 IQ back. 

Granted. But your charisma score dips low and the resulting social awkwardness results in people thinking you're nowhere near as bright as you claim to be, leading to eternal frustration. 

I wish for making potato pancakes to go well. 

Granted! They taste great, but smell quite good, too. All living creatures within a 10 mile radius start swarming your home for a chance to try one, resulting in you not getting any more. 

I wish Vitus could eat his food in peace.