Fighter: You're a bad DM. DM: Suddenly, a meteor falls on your head. Make a Dexterity saving throw, please... Fighter: 24! DM: I'm sorry, you failed. Let's see...oh, dang, I'll need to use an online dice roller. "Unable to parse dice roll"?? Seriously?? Oh, well. I guess I'll just do it in several small increments. Let's see... Fighter: ...
Helper of Create a World thread/Sedge is Chaotic Neutral/ Mega Yahtzee High: 34, Low: 14/I speak English, je me parle le Francais, agus Labhraim beagan Gaeilge
This post has potentially manipulated dice roll results.
Fighter: "Cool statues!" DM: "You take 3 piercing damage. Make a Constitution saving throw, please..." Fighter: *rolls a nat 1* DM: "You are now one of those 'cool statues'." Cleric: "I walk over to him to heal him." DM: "You take 5 piercing damage. Make a Constitution saving throw, please..." Cleric, who has -2 Constitution modifier: *rolls a 12* DM: "You are now also a statue." Rogue: "I'll examine the statues of my friends. Since we're such famous adventurers now, they must be worth a lot!" DM: "You take 1 piercing damage. Make a Constitution saving throw, please..." Rogue: *rolls a 9* DM: "Your expensive statue has been added to the mix." Wizard: "I'll go over to them and look for what happened. There's probably a monster of some sort nearby!" DM: "You take 1 piercing damage. Make a Constitution saving throw, please..." Wizard: *rolls a 19* DM: "Nothing happens." Wizard: "I look behind me." DM: "You see a freaky bird-lizard-bat." Wizard: "Oh ****" DM: "You take 1 piercing damage. Make a Constitution saving throw, please..." Wizard: *rolls a nat 1* DM: "Goodbye."
Fighter: "Cool statues!" DM: "You take 2 piercing damage. Make a Constitution saving throw, please..." Fighter: *rolls a nat 1* DM: "You are now one of those 'cool statues'." Cleric: "I walk over to him to heal him." DM: "You take 2 piercing damage. Make a Constitution saving throw, please..." Cleric, who has -2 Constitution modifier: *rolls a 12* DM: "You are now also a statue." Rogue: "I'll examine the statues of my friends. Since we're such famous adventurers now, they must be worth a lot!" DM: "You take 2 piercing damage. Make a Constitution saving throw, please..." Rogue: *rolls a 9* DM: "Your expensive statue has been added to the mix." Wizard: "I'll go over to them and look for what happened. There's probably a monster of some sort nearby!" DM: "You take 3 piercing damage. Make a Constitution saving throw, please..." Wizard: *rolls a 19* DM: "Nothing happens." Wizard: "I look behind me." DM: "You see a freaky bird-lizard-bat." Wizard: "Oh ****" DM: "You take 6 piercing damage. Make a Constitution saving throw, please..." Wizard: *rolls a nat 1* DM: "Goodbye."
Wow. That sounds like something my players would do.
pm me the word "tomato"
she/her
Fighter: You're a bad DM.
DM: Suddenly, a meteor falls on your head. Make a Dexterity saving throw, please...
Fighter: 24!
DM: I'm sorry, you failed. Let's see...oh, dang, I'll need to use an online dice roller. "Unable to parse dice roll"?? Seriously?? Oh, well. I guess I'll just do it in several small increments. Let's see...
Fighter: ...
pm me the word "tomato"
she/her
I've practiced vicious mockery too many times in my life.
LVL 1 Wizard: Maybe he just needs hugs!
I've practiced vicious mockery too many times in my life.
Party: Let's just take a short nap in this ruined temple, what could go wrong?
DM: (rolls random encounter tab, eyes widen) Excuse me, does anyone have a Death Tyrant minifig?
I've practiced vicious mockery too many times in my life.
"TIAMAT! We come bearing Dragon Masks!"
Helper of Create a World thread/Sedge is Chaotic Neutral/ Mega Yahtzee High: 34, Low: 14/I speak English, je me parle le Francais, agus Labhraim beagan Gaeilge
Dream of Days Lore Bard 9/Wizard 4 Baulder's Gate: Descent to Avernus (In Person/Over Zoom)
Saleadon Morgul Battle Smith Artificer 11 Tyranny of Dragons (In Person/Over Zoom)
Hurtharn Serpti Ghostslayer Blood Hunter 7 Spelljammer (Over Zoom)
Ex Sig
Our rogue: What do you mean i shouldn't steal from that pile?
The "pile" was a hoard mimic. It ate our rogue.
I play a miriad of characters at the lord's rest inn
Two things are infinite: The universe, and human stupidity; and I'm not so sure about the universe.
Scifi horror is quite the trip :) Comics and a story
#FreeDND
Bard: I roll to lay the dragon!
*rolls a nat one*
*realizes he was actually playing a lvl 1 bard and not a lvl 20*
*dragon does not very much appreciate flirting*
Want a place to roleplay in your spare time? Here: Lord's Rest Inn
Please don't hide your imperfections, if one part is beautiful, it all is.
I don't like rp-heavy games, I LOVE them.
Barbarian: I walk over to pet it!
Me (the DM): Uh, you do realize that's a crab-demon, right?
Barbarian: Yep!
Former Spider Queen of the Spider Guild, and friendly neighborhood scheming creature.
"Made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders."
My pronouns are she/her.
Web Weaver of Everlasting Narrative! (title bestowed by Drummer)
Fighter: "Cool statues!"
DM: "You take 3 piercing damage. Make a Constitution saving throw, please..."
Fighter: *rolls a nat 1*
DM: "You are now one of those 'cool statues'."
Cleric: "I walk over to him to heal him."
DM: "You take 5 piercing damage. Make a Constitution saving throw, please..."
Cleric, who has -2 Constitution modifier: *rolls a 12*
DM: "You are now also a statue."
Rogue: "I'll examine the statues of my friends. Since we're such famous adventurers now, they must be worth a lot!"
DM: "You take 1 piercing damage. Make a Constitution saving throw, please..."
Rogue: *rolls a 9*
DM: "Your expensive statue has been added to the mix."
Wizard: "I'll go over to them and look for what happened. There's probably a monster of some sort nearby!"
DM: "You take 1 piercing damage. Make a Constitution saving throw, please..."
Wizard: *rolls a 19*
DM: "Nothing happens."
Wizard: "I look behind me."
DM: "You see a freaky bird-lizard-bat."
Wizard: "Oh ****"
DM: "You take 1 piercing damage. Make a Constitution saving throw, please..."
Wizard: *rolls a nat 1*
DM: "Goodbye."
(cockatrice)
I was the rogue in this unfortunate scenario. My dedication to roleplaying had finally gotten the better of me.
pm me the word "tomato"
she/her
I open the door
Well. at least its not perma death
Good thing.
pm me the word "tomato"
she/her
Rogue: "It's just a gem sitting there on a pedestal, it's all for the taking and selling!"
DM: "As you take the gem you hear a click."
Rogue: "%@#!"
She/They/it
Keep in mind I'm in the UK so my time zone's GMT.
Definitely not an undead.
DM describing the entire wide opened room on the dungeon, well decorated with statues, tables, and ¿¿windows ??....................
The rogue : I step inside this room and I run directly to the nearest statue just to pee on it.
the DM : "" rogue, are you doing this as a normal action ??? "
The rogue : " Yes, I'm actully in front of the statue"
DM : ok.... roll a CON saving throw while you step there "
The rest of the party ............... LEWL !!!!
P.d. : dumb ways to die........ dumb ways to diii-i-ee xD
My Ready-to-rock&roll chars:
Dertinus Tristany // Amilcar Barca // Vicenç Sacrarius // Oriol Deulofeu // Grovtuk
when you gotta go you gotta go
DM: *Annoyed of murderhobos plans a suprise*
Player: I kill that commoner there
DM: It doesn't die, before you a majestic gold dragon appears
[roll]7d6[/roll]
Every post these dice roll increasing my chances of winning the yahtzee thread (I wish (wait not the twist the wish threa-!))
Drummer Generated Title
After having been invited to include both here, I now combine the "PM me CHEESE 🧀 and tomato into PM me "PIZZA🍕"
DM: Talking, glad no one has de-railed the campaign
That One Player: I kill the person next to me.
Looks fly across the room as initiative is rolled
I've practiced vicious mockery too many times in my life.
Are Dragons Supposed to do that
IKnOw Wh ere Y o u Li ve
I Real lY dO
"Guy's, it's just a Level 1 dungeon. The DM wouldn't sic a mimic on a level 1 party....."
Former Spider Queen of the Spider Guild, and friendly neighborhood scheming creature.
"Made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders."
My pronouns are she/her.
Web Weaver of Everlasting Narrative! (title bestowed by Drummer)