Action 1: I ask around for a pigman to volunteer for an experiment. When I find one, I replace its arm with One-Punch Man’s remaining arm, making it a lot stronger.
Action 2: I bribe Trump to join our side with all of my remaining swords (except the one I animated) and free poutine for life.
Action 3: I take a TV and a Nintendo Switch out of my Bag of Holding and start playing Mario Kart.
Orders: I order my sword to assassinate more assassins. I order One-Punch Pigman to punch the Empty Chimera’s Mask. I order the Inter-Dimensional Elephant to make a portal to a certain dimension.
Action 1: "Umm... Why not make depression juice? Making other people depressed can be... fun. Or depressing. It's a vicious cycle. Well, I've spent a long enough break from... breaking the Chimera? Except for the parts where I fail, of course." The weirdo gets up for the millionth time and falls again. "Right, still got that footwear problem. Well, I'm bored. Let's just..." The "wizard" takes out a bucket of red paint and dumps it on his high-heels. He then starts to click his heels together. "There's no place like danger. There's no place like danger. There's no place like danger." As he speaks the incantation, he disappears and reappears right in front of the Empty Chimera. "Lion Tiger or Bear?" he asks. As he stares at the Chimera's anatomy, he seems to get some sort of answer. "Oh my! That is confusing. All three yet none at once. That sounds like cheating." He reaches into his sleeves and produces a scarecrow. "He's got a brain, and he doesn't appreciate cheating. Really, he got an A on his test, and you get an A+ by writing on your arm. The nerve!" He takes the obviously lifeless scarecrow and whacks the Chimera, spreading straw all over the place. "Someone will clean that up. Anyways, you've gotta be a real heartless monster to cheat on a test like that. Really, this guy will tell you." Suddenly, an eerie man made of tin leans over the Empty Chimera. "Don't worry, he doesn't bite... yet. But this guy does." The "wizard" produces a lion out of his sleeve. The Empty Chimera gives it one look and the lion starts running. "Hey, you were the whole attack! What am I gonna do now! Stab it with some straw?" To answer this question, the stray pieces of straw suddenly animate and stab into the Empty Chimera. "I was joking, but okay." The straws then grow into silly sippy straws. They twist and twirl out until all of them are pointing down over the tin man. A loud slurping sound comes from the straws as the Chimera's Shadow Tendril is spilled onto the Tin Man. "I did not need to see that." The tin man then awakens, his body properly oiled. A demonic gleam fills its eye as it raises its tendril soaked ax. Its ax rapidly slices down at the Chimera, but then just stops. "Guess it needed more oil." The straws wrap themselves around the tin man's arms and de-attach themselves from the Chimera. They extend out and coil around the the cowardly lion.The straws then lift it up and place it right in front of the tin man. With a single look at the tin man, the lion turns and runs... right into the Chimera. A cloud of straw dust puffs up around them as they fight. Lion claws and Chimera claws and a lot of Chimera claws crawl out of the cloud to strike down on their opponent. As it seems excessively apparent that the lion is losing, the tin man starts moving again and enters the scuffle, his straw cape billowing in the wind. Axes join the flurry of claws, but one winner is still apparent. The dust clears, and all of the useless Over the Rainbow creatures are a heap of tin, straw, and fur on the ground, and the Empty Chimera stands tall, but...
Action 2: "Surprise!" A house comes plummeting out of the sky and lands on the Empty Chimera's Leg. "Can I be done now? I need a lunch break or something."
A little girl and her dog emerge out of the house. She looks around and comes to the ingenious conclusion, "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." The weirdo groans. "I thought I was done this action. I hit it with a house. Why do I have to babysit? And I don't feel comfortable sacrificing Dorothy for some inane plan." A claw tears through the house as the Empty Chimera frees itself from its confines. "Ah, that's why I'm not done. Well then, Ms. Dorothy, if you would please skip down... that way, it would be very... productive." Uncertain, Dorothy starts skipping... that way. As she does, a forest town with a distinct road starts to materialize. The village is made of small cottages. "Where'd all the Smurfs go?." Unfortunately, the Smurfs are a few realms away. Instead, munchkins begin to sneak out of their homes and examine the mess. One of the braver one proclaims, "The wicked witch... She's dead!" The "wizard" face palms. "Wrong musical number. You should do the "Scream For Your Life!" song." "We actually have a number for that." "No. Do not sing that." "Alright, we'll just run around screaming." All of the munchkins in the village run out of their houses, screaming about the terrible creature in their front yard. "No no no. Forget what I said. Forget it!" The munchkins don't listen.
While all of... that happens, the Empty Chimera seems to understand its situation. It notices that the fairy tale landscape is stronger in areas nearer to Dorothy. So, it can either kill Dorothy and get out easy, or try to kill the "wizard" again. Both are... valid options, but, regardless of which, the action ensues. As the Empty Chimera does... whatever it does, the "wizard" notices and turns to Dorothy. "You need to get out of here. Now. Follow the yellow brick road. You hear me? Follow the yellow brick road. Follow follow follow follow follow the yellow brick road. Got it?" Dorothy is still extremely confuse about what is happening. "Follow the yellow brick road?" "Yes, now go." Dorothy skips off, with Toto following. The weirdo then turns to the Munchkins. "Alright. You guys are munchkins, right? Then go do your thing. Min-Max your stats or something. Get OP loot. Kill weak enemies for levels. Do the thing that munchkins do." The munchkins stare at them confused. "We're not that type of munchkin," the leader says, "but we can sing about it." The weirdo groans. "Fine. Just take these cards and do ANYTHING." The "wizard" pulls out the game Munchkins and starts handing cards to the little forest people. Immediately, they seem to embrace their "true" selves, and start putting on fake elf ears, changing gender, race, and class, carrying ten times as many things as should be possible, and killing their pack mules for levels. Suddenly, an actual army forms with catapults, singing swords, flaming armor, magic missiles, weighted dice, and rapiers of unfairness. They all turn to attack the Empty Chimera, ready to attack, when some wise guy decides to throw in a wandering lawyer. Then someone else throws in a wandering net troll. And then everyone is throwing every modifier possible at the encounter to max out their loot. "Hmm... I think they took to the game a bit too... much." Regardless, hammers and swords and missiles and potions and monsters all fly at each other with murderous intent. The Empty Chimera is caught helplessly in the middle of all of this chaos, unable to make this from that or that from this. Somehow, it avoids almost everything, with the munchkins seeing it as the base of a tower of levels that must be destroyed last to get every single level possible out before the tower crumbles. That is until the "wizard" appears out of the chaos with a fake beard and slams his Dwarven Kneecapper into the Empty Chimera's fractured leg. "That always was my favorite card." Then, almost as quickly as it began, the chaos dissipates as the munchkins somehow disappear. In the distance, Dorothy skips along on the yellow brick road, heading to the Emerald City or something. The "wizard" taps his heels three times and mutters "There's no place like Action 3. There's no place like Action 3. There's no place like Action 3." And poof, he's in Action 3.
Action 3: And boy, Action 3 is fun. The weirdo finds himself in a bright, flowery dress. "Don't judge me. It goes with the high heels." He sits on a bench in the middle of a church. At the front of row after row of properly religious people, some priest drones on about the good of life and the evil of sin or whatever. The weirdo doesn't care much for that type of thing. He believes in Eghuiaeroucliopism, the belief that the world is built by some idiot slamming his hands on a keyboard. He reaches down into his purse (don't ask) and pulls out an hourglass with chopped thyme in it instead of sand. Small herbs drop down from the top of the glass to the bottom, marking the passage of thyme time. The hourglass seems to be almost at the hour, with just a pinch of thyme left in the top. Back at the front of the room, the priest continues on his ramble. He starts reading some line or another from his holy book. Again, the weirdo lacks a care. Eghuiaeroucliopism believes that the written word has ultimate power, so their equivalent of a holy book is the song "25 or 6 to 4". Unfortunately, people write the song down, which sort of defeats the purpose. Anyways, the priest finishes reading his segment of the book and the whole congregation opens its mouth to say a single word. Just before they utter it, the weirdo tips the hourglass to about a seventy degree angle, stopping any thyme from passing up or down. The world around the "wizard" stops. "I wonder who would slap me for this first, Father Time, Chronos, Kronos, or Janus. Best not to find out." He reaches back into his purse and pulls out a small jar with an even smaller microphone in it. He places this down beside himself and takes the lid off of the hourglass, setting it on top of some random guy sitting next to him's head. He then reaches into the hourglass and scoops up the few pieces of thyme left in the hour. "If I could put thyme in a bottle... Nah, that joke is overused." As he drops the few pieces of thyme into the jar and the congregation states their single word. "Amen." As the thyme rests at the bottom, the "wizard" quickly spins the lid on the jar, trapping the thyme and microphone within. Inside, the sound of the holy word echoes. However, around the weirdo, everything stopped again. "Whoops." He screws the lid of the hourglass back on and flips the hourglass onto its head, causing thyme to spill back out of it. The church session continues. "I'd better leave this here." He drops the hourglass and taps his high-heels together, muttering, "There's no place like the battlefield. There's no place like the battlefield. There's no place like the battlefield." And so he returns to the battlefield with his dress, heels, and jar of "Amen". "Trust me. This is useful, and I need it. Just go with it."
RP?: "Oh. You didn't really need to apologize, LyricsDusk. That joke was bad, but nothing to be sorry for. Then again, I will accept any apology that involves killing a dictator that wants me dead anyways, so apology accepted."
"Okay, fine TheGreatOne1115, that is a valid use of One Punch Man's arm. Personally, I prefer depression juice, but zombie arm works too. It'll probably even do more damage than depression. Hmm... I don't know how I feel about that."
ACTION 3: I pick up a grappling hook and shoot it directly at the Empty Chimera's mask. The grappling hook breaks off, and hooks pour themselves into the Mask's 'eyeholes', locking the hook into place. As I prepare to detonate the hook-bomb, suddenly an 'AMEN!' sounds across the world. The power of O-R-I-G-I-N-'s time-stopped 'AMEN!' startles my hand, releasing the explosion earlier than expected. The sudden explosion thus startles the Mask, causing it to be far more destroyed than it would have been.
RP: No need to thank me, O-R-I-G-I-N-. Politicians are a curse on the joy of pure war.
All entities + me collect some rocks from the ground creating a bunker. Then I build a wall out of rocks around the toast pantheon. Full lockdown mode.
The sheer power of the apology cascades over Poutine, and he grits his teeth in anger before promptly exploding from sheer rage. And a thrown grenade.
ACTION 2: The darkness shimmers and shakes around the Glass jar I'm holding. As the darkness continues raging, I say, 'The Empty Chimera uses Pure White attacks. Don't you want to surpass your direct opposite?' The darkness stops raging for a moment as it considers this prospect.
Pitch-Black: 2/5
(Bicyclops: 7/10)
You Explode Poutine! they splatter everywhere, but organs are for the weak, so the largest chunk still functions properly. 30 damage! The Darkness swirls around for a few moments, before starting to fight back again! The Empty Chimera wields a shadowy arm as well, after all... The Dosh doesn't have actions! It's just a lot of money which is now yours. It's more of an item, really.
Oh no we are loosing troops! Retreat retreat I say. We retreat to the Toast pantheon where the basis of our operations will be. I awaken the Toast pantheon. I awaken the turret and create a stone cannon that shoots rocks at the enemy that surely approaches.
You awaken the pantheon, awaken the turret, and create a cannon!
Action 1: I ask around for a pigman to volunteer for an experiment. When I find one, I replace its arm with One-Punch Man’s remaining arm, making it a lot stronger.
Action 2: I bribe Trump to join our side with all of my remaining swords (except the one I animated) and free poutine for life.
Action 3: I take a TV and a Nintendo Switch out of my Bag of Holding and start playing Mario Kart.
Orders: I order my sword to assassinate more assassins. I order One-Punch Pigman to punch the Empty Chimera’s Mask. I order the Inter-Dimensional Elephant to make a portal to a certain dimension.
???: 1/5 charges (Assuming entities can charge)
Pigman upgraded to One-Punch Pigman! Attack up significantly! Trump refuses your offer. The Godmodder's dosh is just too hella. You then start playing mario cart. Orders given! Alright, so the Elephant makes charges for dimensional things- Or at least, I'm assuming that's part of what you want? a default entity Does Not have charging capabilities, but yours can if you want which it sounds like you do.
Action 1: "Umm... Why not make depression juice? Making other people depressed can be... fun. Or depressing. It's a vicious cycle. Well, I've spent a long enough break from... breaking the Chimera? Except for the parts where I fail, of course." The weirdo gets up for the millionth time and falls again. "Right, still got that footwear problem. Well, I'm bored. Let's just..." The "wizard" takes out a bucket of red paint and dumps it on his high-heels. He then starts to click his heels together. "There's no place like danger. There's no place like danger. There's no place like danger." As he speaks the incantation, he disappears and reappears right in front of the Empty Chimera. "Lion Tiger or Bear?" he asks. As he stares at the Chimera's anatomy, he seems to get some sort of answer. "Oh my! That is confusing. All three yet none at once. That sounds like cheating." He reaches into his sleeves and produces a scarecrow. "He's got a brain, and he doesn't appreciate cheating. Really, he got an A on his test, and you get an A+ by writing on your arm. The nerve!" He takes the obviously lifeless scarecrow and whacks the Chimera, spreading straw all over the place. "Someone will clean that up. Anyways, you've gotta be a real heartless monster to cheat on a test like that. Really, this guy will tell you." Suddenly, an eerie man made of tin leans over the Empty Chimera. "Don't worry, he doesn't bite... yet. But this guy does." The "wizard" produces a lion out of his sleeve. The Empty Chimera gives it one look and the lion starts running. "Hey, you were the whole attack! What am I gonna do now! Stab it with some straw?" To answer this question, the stray pieces of straw suddenly animate and stab into the Empty Chimera. "I was joking, but okay." The straws then grow into silly sippy straws. They twist and twirl out until all of them are pointing down over the tin man. A loud slurping sound comes from the straws as the Chimera's Shadow Tendril is spilled onto the Tin Man. "I did not need to see that." The tin man then awakens, his body properly oiled. A demonic gleam fills its eye as it raises its tendril soaked ax. Its ax rapidly slices down at the Chimera, but then just stops. "Guess it needed more oil." The straws wrap themselves around the tin man's arms and de-attach themselves from the Chimera. They extend out and coil around the the cowardly lion.The straws then lift it up and place it right in front of the tin man. With a single look at the tin man, the lion turns and runs... right into the Chimera. A cloud of straw dust puffs up around them as they fight. Lion claws and Chimera claws and a lot of Chimera claws crawl out of the cloud to strike down on their opponent. As it seems excessively apparent that the lion is losing, the tin man starts moving again and enters the scuffle, his straw cape billowing in the wind. Axes join the flurry of claws, but one winner is still apparent. The dust clears, and all of the useless Over the Rainbow creatures are a heap of tin, straw, and fur on the ground, and the Empty Chimera stands tall, but...
Action 2: "Surprise!" A house comes plummeting out of the sky and lands on the Empty Chimera's Leg. "Can I be done now? I need a lunch break or something."
A little girl and her dog emerge out of the house. She looks around and comes to the ingenious conclusion, "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." The weirdo groans. "I thought I was done this action. I hit it with a house. Why do I have to babysit? And I don't feel comfortable sacrificing Dorothy for some inane plan." A claw tears through the house as the Empty Chimera frees itself from its confines. "Ah, that's why I'm not done. Well then, Ms. Dorothy, if you would please skip down... that way, it would be very... productive." Uncertain, Dorothy starts skipping... that way. As she does, a forest town with a distinct road starts to materialize. The village is made of small cottages. "Where'd all the Smurfs go?." Unfortunately, the Smurfs are a few realms away. Instead, munchkins begin to sneak out of their homes and examine the mess. One of the braver one proclaims, "The wicked witch... She's dead!" The "wizard" face palms. "Wrong musical number. You should do the "Scream For Your Life!" song." "We actually have a number for that." "No. Do not sing that." "Alright, we'll just run around screaming." All of the munchkins in the village run out of their houses, screaming about the terrible creature in their front yard. "No no no. Forget what I said. Forget it!" The munchkins don't listen.
While all of... that happens, the Empty Chimera seems to understand its situation. It notices that the fairy tale landscape is stronger in areas nearer to Dorothy. So, it can either kill Dorothy and get out easy, or try to kill the "wizard" again. Both are... valid options, but, regardless of which, the action ensues. As the Empty Chimera does... whatever it does, the "wizard" notices and turns to Dorothy. "You need to get out of here. Now. Follow the yellow brick road. You hear me? Follow the yellow brick road. Follow follow follow follow follow the yellow brick road. Got it?" Dorothy is still extremely confuse about what is happening. "Follow the yellow brick road?" "Yes, now go." Dorothy skips off, with Toto following. The weirdo then turns to the Munchkins. "Alright. You guys are munchkins, right? Then go do your thing. Min-Max your stats or something. Get OP loot. Kill weak enemies for levels. Do the thing that munchkins do." The munchkins stare at them confused. "We're not that type of munchkin," the leader says, "but we can sing about it." The weirdo groans. "Fine. Just take these cards and do ANYTHING." The "wizard" pulls out the game Munchkins and starts handing cards to the little forest people. Immediately, they seem to embrace their "true" selves, and start putting on fake elf ears, changing gender, race, and class, carrying ten times as many things as should be possible, and killing their pack mules for levels. Suddenly, an actual army forms with catapults, singing swords, flaming armor, magic missiles, weighted dice, and rapiers of unfairness. They all turn to attack the Empty Chimera, ready to attack, when some wise guy decides to throw in a wandering lawyer. Then someone else throws in a wandering net troll. And then everyone is throwing every modifier possible at the encounter to max out their loot. "Hmm... I think they took to the game a bit too... much." Regardless, hammers and swords and missiles and potions and monsters all fly at each other with murderous intent. The Empty Chimera is caught helplessly in the middle of all of this chaos, unable to make this from that or that from this. Somehow, it avoids almost everything, with the munchkins seeing it as the base of a tower of levels that must be destroyed last to get every single level possible out before the tower crumbles. That is until the "wizard" appears out of the chaos with a fake beard and slams his Dwarven Kneecapper into the Empty Chimera's fractured leg. "That always was my favorite card." Then, almost as quickly as it began, the chaos dissipates as the munchkins somehow disappear. In the distance, Dorothy skips along on the yellow brick road, heading to the Emerald City or something. The "wizard" taps his heels three times and mutters "There's no place like Action 3. There's no place like Action 3. There's no place like Action 3." And poof, he's in Action 3.
Action 3: And boy, Action 3 is fun. The weirdo finds himself in a bright, flowery dress. "Don't judge me. It goes with the high heels." He sits on a bench in the middle of a church. At the front of row after row of properly religious people, some priest drones on about the good of life and the evil of sin or whatever. The weirdo doesn't care much for that type of thing. He believes in Eghuiaeroucliopism, the belief that the world is built by some idiot slamming his hands on a keyboard. He reaches down into his purse (don't ask) and pulls out an hourglass with chopped thyme in it instead of sand. Small herbs drop down from the top of the glass to the bottom, marking the passage of thyme time. The hourglass seems to be almost at the hour, with just a pinch of thyme left in the top. Back at the front of the room, the priest continues on his ramble. He starts reading some line or another from his holy book. Again, the weirdo lacks a care. Eghuiaeroucliopism believes that the written word has ultimate power, so their equivalent of a holy book is the song "25 or 6 to 4". Unfortunately, people write the song down, which sort of defeats the purpose. Anyways, the priest finishes reading his segment of the book and the whole congregation opens its mouth to say a single word. Just before they utter it, the weirdo tips the hourglass to about a seventy degree angle, stopping any thyme from passing up or down. The world around the "wizard" stops. "I wonder who would slap me for this first, Father Time, Chronos, Kronos, or Janus. Best not to find out." He reaches back into his purse and pulls out a small jar with an even smaller microphone in it. He places this down beside himself and takes the lid off of the hourglass, setting it on top of some random guy sitting next to him's head. He then reaches into the hourglass and scoops up the few pieces of thyme left in the hour. "If I could put thyme in a bottle... Nah, that joke is overused." As he drops the few pieces of thyme into the jar and the congregation states their single word. "Amen." As the thyme rests at the bottom, the "wizard" quickly spins the lid on the jar, trapping the thyme and microphone within. Inside, the sound of the holy word echoes. However, around the weirdo, everything stopped again. "Whoops." He screws the lid of the hourglass back on and flips the hourglass onto its head, causing thyme to spill back out of it. The church session continues. "I'd better leave this here." He drops the hourglass and taps his high-heels together, muttering, "There's no place like the battlefield. There's no place like the battlefield. There's no place like the battlefield." And so he returns to the battlefield with his dress, heels, and jar of "Amen". "Trust me. This is useful, and I need it. Just go with it."
RP?: "Oh. You didn't really need to apologize, LyricsDusk. That joke was bad, but nothing to be sorry for. Then again, I will accept any apology that involves killing a dictator that wants me dead anyways, so apology accepted."
"Okay, fine TheGreatOne1115, that is a valid use of One Punch Man's arm. Personally, I prefer depression juice, but zombie arm works too. It'll probably even do more damage than depression. Hmm... I don't know how I feel about that."
The Scarecrow, Tin guy, and Lion appear! As the Weirdo has the straws animate, The Chimera raises its dragging arm, and slashes it straight through the Tin Man, causing the delicate machinery and/or life force to stop working! the slash continues on almost half a rotation before faltering, sending out hungry-looking shimmers of Bloodred light, killing the Lion, which falls into a heap. without somewhere to put the shadows, the straws are useless. Then, the Dorthy-and-munchkins-and-roads-and-kneecappers thing happens! The Chimera struggles against them, Shadow arm lashing out in a half-dozen directions at once to divert the blows of every incoming projectile or attack, but in the end is unable to avoid the Dwarven Kneecapper! The Chimeras Stabbity leg Cracks, pieces of the boney spike falling to the floor in an unnatural quiet, and thin streams of white and black liquid begin to pour out of the cracks, with the same ineffable purity the mask possesses, in their own way. Legs reduced to 'Duo' condition! Chimera loses access to the Stabitty leg ability and using that for walking! Its two remaining legs are still enough for it to move around on, though. Then, you get a jar of Thyme+Amen+microphone! woo?
ACTION 3: I pick up a grappling hook and shoot it directly at the Empty Chimera's mask. The grappling hook breaks off, and hooks pour themselves into the Mask's 'eyeholes', locking the hook into place. As I prepare to detonate the hook-bomb, suddenly an 'AMEN!' sounds across the world. The power of O-R-I-G-I-N-'s time-stopped 'AMEN!' startles my hand, releasing the explosion earlier than expected. The sudden explosion thus startles the Mask, causing it to be far more destroyed than it would have been.
RP: No need to thank me, O-R-I-G-I-N-. Politicians are a curse on the joy of pure war.
The Chimera sways aside at the last moment, avoiding the hook! It smiles blandly at you- no different from any other time, yet it almost seems... taunting.
All entities + me collect some rocks from the ground creating a bunker. Then I build a wall out of rocks around the toast pantheon. Full lockdown mode.
you make a bunkerwall of rocks!
Steve sees the Squidship beginning to falter... They could heal it, but they have two directives. one is the safety of the ritual. So, they make part of the Squidship's flesh capable of independent levitation, protecting the ritual if the Ship dies. The Eishalon Gathers rocks! the pelicans gather rocks! the crabs gather rocks! It all goes into the bunker. The Toast stuff... exists, and the Cake entities dig themselves almost entirely out of the Poutine! The Windmill Creaks. The Gently-spinning blades upon it begin to slow. Already dented, scarred, and ripped, The probably-metal material making up its base begins to buckle. Six of the scars in the metal begin to shine a deep maroon as the structure slowly collapses. As it moves, space Bends along the dimensional aperture, distorting and lengthening. flashes of iridescent lightning crackle along the entire structure, and even burn parts of the surrounding land- but it is mostly contained. As the rift stretches further, the crackling intensifies, half-static rippling across it- And the Rift pops like a soap bubble. The Lighting intensifies for a fraction of a moment,flashing in every colour and flaring ever-bright. There is a screeching crash, and then the Windmill comes to a rest, mere wreckage upon the ground after everything that's happened to it. The Cake Entities are trapped in the Semielemental plane of cakes. for eternity, most likely. Shame. the Gold Sword keeps floating around- but the Assassins are Wary. it may be some time before it has a chance. The Interdimensional Elephant prepares itself, getting one IDMT, or Inter-Dimensional Manipulation Token, which is Kind of like a players charge but you can only use it for interdimensional manipulation!
None of the Assorted Assassins see any opportunities to assassinate someone this round! Trump calls in some security contractors, and the Wall gets bigger. Then he spies an opportunity. Mozying up to Hunger For Eggs On Toast (who's rock launcher doesn't attack because they don't want to get sued), Trump offers them a deal. If they Awaken Trumps Wall, Trump will pay them quite a bit of Dosh. Deal? Somehow, even in such close quarters, Trump is protected by his wall... Poutine dumps Poutine all over the Astral Plane Chickens nest, forcing them to seek higher ground! Nest destroyed! The Pumpkin Snails... hm? Why are they listed as nothing? Anyway, the Pumpkin Snails rise up, Floating in the air. Each wreathed in the aura of the pumpkin Snails, they surround the Weirdo. He slew the others, and they will force upon him their trials. Like that one thing with unicorns and bringing them back to life, remember? And the first trial... They put him inside a giant pumpkin! How's he going to get out?
The Empty Chimera advances on the Bunker, its Slender arm dragging behind it as it raises the Dragging arm menacingly. Then, its slender arm whips forwards, piercing through holes in the rock structure, then is yanked back out, cleaving a hole in the bunker and removing 17 rocks! Rapidly advancing through the hole, the Chimera turns aside to dodge the few pellets from the Turret which guards the Pantheon, and brings its Dragging arm around in a motion that Rips through the Stone Chicken, sending chips and chunks of rock flying(though most of the damage is absorbed by the Awakening). Then, it turns to regard the Earth Pelican. In its eyes lies nothing. in its mask lies eternity. And the Pelican sees both. But it sees beyond that. It sees the crack in the mask. Eternity itself being made to kneel. But it is not that. The mask is not that which it is. The mask Is a frozen infinity that could shine forever. And yet it will not shine forever, not in so hostile a land. It seems nearly paradoxical, but they know there's some, missing piece to the puzzle. Something that makes it all fit. A sparking flicker of static floats up from the mask, but it doesn't Matter. that isn't the missing piece. The Chimera stands before them, and the Pelican knows it to be unstoppable. And yet it can be stopped, for it is not omnipotent. And yet it Is unstoppable, an immutable fact presented upon the world. That the Mask is cracked is no object. That a leg has shattered is naught. The Chimera is unceasing. but it is not. And yet it is. And then the Chimera looks away. Its Dripping arm splashes on the ground, and then reforms, seeming to be a twisted mirror of the Slender one. It reaches towards the Windmills Ruins, and is placed upon them. And a dark smoke, darker then the night they fight in, as dark, perhaps, as the mask is light, billows forth for a moment. And then nothing. Or perhaps something. Its actions for the round concluded, the Chimera turns to look at The Great One. That will be their next target.
Battlefield.
[A-naturewriter] Terror Pants 127/200 HP (Bulletstorm, Spray and pray, machine gun, rockets, The big gun(locked on: None).). towering outside shopkeeper emporium. [A-naturewriter]Flying Spageti monster 32/55 HP 20 A/-15 A. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...? [OG-Acerak] Steve 33/25 HP, 0.5 Dig||Magic!A (Tunnel: 20.5/20) [OG-Moose/Acerak] Squidship of the Meese. 10/30 HP, In constant pain, a method of transport. 4A. [OG-Shard-Shard-Hunger For Eggs on Toast] Eishalon III: Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast (75% accuracy. can hit enemies by accident. stuck to HV. Mask instarepairs. ) 0/3 Energy Diamonds, 0 Awakening integrity (depleted) BUFF. [ OG-srovy?] Kittenish Pelican 50 rocks, on HfEoT's head. awakened (9/9 integrity) , awake. Earth Pelican 48 rocks, rock suit. O look the pelican. on the kitten on HfEoT's head. ( 1/8 integrity) Rock Crabs 24 Rocks x7 (awakened materials x1) [OG-Hunger(y) for Eggs on Toast] Windmill Ruins. they were so Cake Collector Slime, 27 cubic meters of cake. (in semielemental plane. F o r e t e r n i t y) Cake Thornbeast 14 Cakes, 4A, Awakened( 4/22 integrity) , (in semielemental plane. F o r e t e r n i t y) Toast Tree, 10/10 HP, Awakened(23/23 integrity), 3 toast.(+(1d2)d2 -1 toast/r) Intolerance Defence! Toaster 30/30 HP, Toasting 2 Toast II! Toasterboy 20 Rocks Stone chicken 55 Rocks. fed. processing food IV. is a stone chicken. Awakened(0/26 integrity) Bunker (surrounding Pantheon) 45 Rocks. Launcher (launches rocks.) [OG?-Arjan] Toast Pantheon 20/20 HP, immune to mold, surrounding tree. (awakened, 25/25 integrity) Turrets 1x4 HP 1x4A, (awakened 25/25 integrity) [OG-TheGreatOne] Golden Sword 5/5 HP, 2/1d8: Assassinate. Pyramid Pigmen 1x7 hp, scheme exaggeration A!x7 One Punch Pigman 5 hp, 5A Inter-Dimensional Elephant 200/200 HP, 1 IDMT(+1/R),Healthful Hygene, . [AG-Shard II]Eishalon II - Manifest Of Folly Some people know exactly what's going on, until they don't. the Eishalon may have been one of those... fryer, fryer, corpse on fi-er. [OG-naturewriter] Cosmic Monolith 46/100 HP 75% dodge chance. Dark Pulse(65) Antimatter(25x3) Flash (?) 4/4 Doomsday. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...? [OG-Bardymcbardyface] Astral Plane Chicken 150/150 HP 10A, lays eggs! Perceptive Potential. in Shopkeep shop in a Colosseum! Egg(x1 to 3) 20/20 HP (fostered III, Nurtured III. Warmed IV.) Nest: Full of Poutine. [OG-SmartTJ]Pigmen 1x12 hp, horde agro, (int)(0.25x12)atk. [OG-LyricsJust] Some Dosh. [OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamond Deal with the Godmodder [C] Nether Portal 10 HP, 11 resistance. active! Pumpkin Snails! 15x6 HP Pumpkin!A [AG] Assorted Assassins, 17x3+26 HP, 40% dodge. Poisoned: -1 HP/r! 4/1d8 : Assassinate. [AG]Trump 50/50 HP. has hella dosh. is being payed even hella-er dosh. 4/4 for Namesake. The Wall 120/20 HP, Guard Trump!A Poutine, 22 HP. +8 HP/turn. Is... made of poutine? 2/3 for What Even is Poutine Anyway. [WAAAAAAAAA]Waluigi, Pristine physical condition. Capable Celebrity Chin. WAAA worthy wonderosity. Unbelievable Uvula. Glorious Golf club. Tremendous Tennis racket. Beautiful Badminton Bombarder and Buffness. Amazing Action Abilities. Spectacularly sizeable Slacks. King-worthy kitchen of Kooking. Somehow still here while playing game . [AG]100, 100% HP, item in 4%! leaving in 3! Numerology!A, 2,004 total HP! In stasis due to seasonal event! [All Hallows Eve] Empty Chimera. Slender Arm- Pristine. Draggingarm- Pristine. Claws- Razor Sharp. Shadow Tendril- Dripping. Legs- Duo. Mask- Cracked porcelain- white. ???, ???, ???.
[GM] Godmodder: 272 /300 HP 1/4 dimensionality, has rock snake (corpse?). Maintaining Empty Chimera. currently immune to attack. Hunger For Eggs On Toast: Founder, 66% skill. Owns a Unique'Magic Factory', Needs stuff he doesn't have. like FLEX TAP? woodworking skill which is not the same thing as cutting down trees: sufficient+. 1C.AC. Stuck to Mask of Hungresitation. Rock Mask, 90 rocks,23 cakes , Gathering Pickaxe FAICE!, Stone Rose, Is a fusion of Hungry Visitor and Srovy (6 actions! Actions must be self-consistent! Potential power boost. or not. more resistant to attack!) Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6 / 2), depleted. on battlefield. has several voidshards (~5). Completely untrustworthy. Ridiculous Wounds. Mediocre Wounds. pretty buff. has protected 14 Er... . Aeisenberg: with Phil swift, but not in the update room! rapier (minor attack buff)... +1?, Favour of the Deva, Coronal Relic (cyan), Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6), Probably Not a Martian. OrcalordBeyond: On battlefield, is a god which is possessing an air elemental which has turned into a offbrand flex sealed old yellow fire-breath animal and is flying. in Paradox Tennis (If an update passes between their post and the next P.tennis one, they can post in the main dop too.) Dracoflamer: on battlefield, probably(?)! deserves to be remembered forever. f'real. Cannot exhaust or over-strain muscles. ADrunkenDwarf: hand cut! Large Voidshard- sharp. 4 unknown objects(radiating bits of magic every so often), 6 practical joke implements. Yellow Eishalon Mask (5.7) - Storms Squire II, Thunder Twitches I, 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠 𝔇ominance VI (Draconic Dominance.). SirNatureWriter: just check their sector. shiny, !shiny! scrap metal, 2070ish? bottles of Restricted Godmodder energy. isn't currently being a shopkeeper. Book from the Globglogabgalab's set (Animated). Acerak the Eternal. <Garfield the Tabaxi: Reviled by Globglogabgalab! slightly wounded. guardian spirits, summoning mount, shielded, 1 charge stored. Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Pong-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Thumb War-Monopoly-Tennis is a sane game for sane people?!> BardymcBardface: light wounds! historianism III! 2 charges! in weird lobby! O_R_I_G_I_N: Light Wounds. Fascination Of Beyond! Signed photo of Waluigi! Box of Thymemicrophoneamen. In. A. Pumpkin.
Trump sees my hand, stretched to shake his. As he takes it I pull him in and devour his flesh. Why even make a deal with a completely untrustworthy creature?
I guess I have a small problem. There is an abomination in my secure base, adding adjectives to my entities and whatnot. Eternity and stuff. I look at the empty Chimera. A crack in the mask? ... I think I know why the Chimera is here. It is so empty. I know the feeling. I fill up the empty space inside the empty Chimera by teleporting into it through the crack (the spell is sight based), making it a full chimera. Then I release the well tested hungry visitation assimilation agents to make it an even fuller chimera.
I use telekinetic force to hold the chimera still. There is no escape.
My entities are ordered to collect rocks to heal and enlarge themselves with. Toaster boy should be watching the toast. The ones in another dimension should devour that dimension till they are big enough to simply walk out of the dimension into this one. Ah yeah and my mask is ordered to hold the bones of the empty chimera still so it can't move to fight back.
Action 1: I continue to play Mario Kart. I complete a lap and am in first place when I notice the Empty/Full Chimera looking at me.
Action 2: I hand over the controller to One Punch Pigman, then fold the drawing of the Chimera into a paper airplane and throw it at the Chimera to distract it. I then throw a golden sword at the crack in its mask.
Action 3: I take the controller back from One Punch Pigman, who turns out to be a master of Mario Kart and is almost a full lap ahead of everyone else. I finish the race. As my Mario Kart character is celebrating, he drives through an inter-dimensional portal. Out of the portal the Inter-Dimensional Elephant created last round comes my Mario Kart character, the only person capable of defeating Waluigi...
...Waluigi himself.
Orders: Sword, keep waiting for an opportunity to assassinate assassins! Elephant, charge at the Chimera! Waluigi, challenge the other Waluigi to a duel or something!
So the Empty Chimera's taunting me, huh? It's going to regret that.
ACTION 1: I pull out a machine-gun and open fire on the Empty Chimera. The bullets flood the area around the Chimera, and then each bullet explodes into shrapnel.
The shrapnel buries itself into the Empty Chimera's body and heavily wound it.
ACTION 2 & 3: In the midst of the same pitch-black night, I yell at the darkness writhing around me,
'I offer my body to become your vessel! I will sacrifice my soul for the power of pure darkness! Accept me, please!'
Action 1: .The "wizard" finds himself In. A. Pumpkin. He tries to make some quip, but finds pumpkin in his mouth. He chews it up, spits it out, and says, "Why am I on trial!? You have no evidence. NONE! Here's what I did. I summoned some bees and turned some slippers into glass. Okay, fine, I told Prince Charming to attack, but I had no way of knowing the bees would turn him into salt. All you have ME on is maybe reckless homicide... okay, saying that out loud... You're more likely to get me for contract killing though... except, I didn't really pay him, so you couldn't call it that... What would you call it?... Incitement. All you can get me for is Incitement. And! incitement is only actually illegal in... the UN! So, if I teleport this pumpkin to... Abkhazia! It's not illegal! Or, I could just be a journalist... Meh. Okay. There's no place like... Abkhazia. There's no place like Abkhazia. There's no place like Abkhazia." The weirdo somehow manages to tap his feet together. As he finishes the incantation, he waits in anticipation. Hey, that rhymes! Unfortunately, nothing happens. He looks at his feet and sees that he isn't wearing his high-heels. Or dress, thankfully. Instead, he has his normal stupid T-Shirt and jeans on. Where his high-heels were is instead a note. "Hello, this is the Heeler. I have come to tell you that your curse has expired. YOUR WELCOME!" "Ugh. Fine, trial it is... Wait. This isn't a PROPER trial. I demand my 6th Amendment rights! I could care less about the impartial jury. I'm sure you've got one of those. And I'm sure I can call all of the witnesses I want. This'll also be quick, right? Definitely. We're probably also getting to the part where I get to confront the opposing witnesses, but no one other than me will enjoy that. No, I'm fine with the state of those rights. I demand my preferred council!"
The "wizard" pulls out a book of great spells named "Every Law Ever Authorized." It's a great book, you should read it. The book gets a bit sketchy when it starts talking about future laws, but it takes a few decades to get to page 567450754905890181 anyways, so there's nothing to worry about there. He skips to the chapter titled, "The United States: The Definition of Hippocracy." He finds the subsection that covers the Bill of Rights and begins to chant. "Speedy. Public. Impartial. District. Law. Inform. Accuse. Confront. Witness. Obtain." He tears the page out of the book and rips it to shreds. As he finishes, three complete words are left in his hand. He shouts the three words, "Assistance of Counsel!" Six chains of red, white, and blue energy leap from the scraps of power. The heads of the chains rub against every spot of their pumpkiny cage, as if searching for prey. They seem to realize that the prey isn't here. Suddenly, canoe shaped portals appear in front of the chains. They each dart through the portals like vipers (not the vindow variety). They emerge surrounding the Pumpkin Snails in their pumpkin temple or wherever they are. The chains aren't picky. They wrap around the Pumpkin Snails, restraining them. The snails struggle in their captivity, but... are snails, so they don't get far. The "wizard" yells, "I plead the SIXTH!" At this call, the chains blacken. They seem dormant for a few moments, but then the snails scream(? No, not scream... Huh, snails can grunt and hiss.) hiss in pain. Small rings of red, white, and blue energy crawl from the snails and runs down the chains. The rings pass down through the portals and reach the paper scraps where the chain originated. There, they converge into the words, causing them to glow with the power of law. As the rings of energy pass into the paper, the intensity of the light grows. As the light reaches the point that it could blind someone, the weirdo slams his hand down onto the paper. The scraps explode in a flag colored light and the chains disappear, leaving six rings on the weirdo's arm. "Those sneaky snails will snack on my snide filled snare."
Action 2: "Okay, I borrowed some of those snails' law energy. Now I just need payment for my... Assistant of Counsel." He proceeds to produce six objects out of his sleeves: An orange elf boot ("Straight from the North Pole."), a vial filled with green chemicals ("I've been told this is called science juice.") a small metal bat figurine ("I have a whole collection of these. I got this one in Idiotville Oregon. Real place, not where I got the figurine."), a match, a red and blue spider ("Elgoog tells me it's a Missulena Occatoria."), and an ear that looks distinctly Yoda-like ("If Disney asks, I grew this from an ear tree."). "I swear I got all of these legally... other than the match... no, the match too. i didn't have to kill Smokey the Bear to get that one." He proceeds to place the boot onto the bat figurine, spill the chemicals into the boot, drop the spider and ear into the chemicals, light the match, and drop that in as well. "Today on Cooking with Kookoo, we're cooking Lawyer Boot Soup. When we return, our lawyer arrives. Stay tuned."
Action 3: As the commercial break concludes (Ads for "RombleRom-A-Bol," "Golden Sword Enterprises," and "Valdivian."), the "wizard" slips the rings off of his arms. He places each one in the air and leaves them there to float. Black chains link the hovering rings together, forming a hexagon. The weirdo begins an incantation. "Three digits, all the same. A force to be summoned through the laws of the Living and Dead. One by coincidence, snails to power. One by convenience, a Living law to adhere. One by choice, items to appease. Six snails, Six amendment, Six items. The powers of evil are strong, but Death has need of Life. Live being of Dead, cursed one from the Web. Un-Living Goblin of Justice and Order. Rise from your rest of Delusions and Mystery. Rise."
A film of raw energy builds in the center of the hexagon. Out of the film, pale energy begins to pour. It enters the boot, which begins to shake and rumble uncontrollably. The boot's color twists, changing from a mad orange to a sinister blue. The liquid inside also changes to the same pale of the tendril grasping from within the portal. Suddenly, the rings drop, cutting the energy from the rings. The boot boils a deep red steam, like a fiery fist rising to its prey. As it reaches up, a pale light shoots through the center, and the smoke collapses, crumbling down into its footwear cage. A loud, alien whir explodes from the boot as the liquid within ripples. It then explodes upwards in a roaring flame. As it bursts in chaos through the sky, a mind reaches out to the cloud of evil. The smoke coils about itself, squeezing being into its form. The smoke freezes into wrinkled, pale, flesh, and a being is reborn. The creature is garbed in a dark blue cloak, with red covering the inner fabric. It stands upon a newly grown version of the bat figurine, a burning steel avatar that soars at its prey. Its wicked red eyes and snake-like tongue dart about, waiting to devour. Its being is completely terrifying... except that it's only one foot tall and is wearing a dark blue diaper where its belt should be.
"Demogoblin! What happened to you man?" Okay, this will take a slight bit of explaining. Now, you could just ask the Wizard Elgoog who the Demogoblin is, but its basically this: Take Hobgoblin. Add demon. Accentuate Narcissism. Discard demon. And there you have it. That pile of demonic leftovers is the Demogoblin. (Don't describe him like that to his face. That was one bad break up, and he'd rather not talk about it.) And now we return to our regularly scheduled... comedy? action? psychopathy? Yes, definitely psychopathy. "You were average height the last time I called you! What's wrong?" The Demogoblin hisses at the weirdo. "It's not my fault. You didn't use enough power. And take the next goblin ear from a Hobgoblin instead of some idiot Disn-" "Okay! Okay! I get it." Wait wait wait. Actually, another disclaimer is required. The Demogoblin... isn't exactly a lawyer. *Gasp*. You're all extremely surprised, right? But, that's not exactly true either. You see, (and no offense is meant to the GM by this) everyone can agree that lawyers become demons, right? I mean, you really have to be heartless to play such cutthroat games while balancing the lives of real people. Being a demon is practically the top rung a lawyer can get as far as promotions go. Really, living an eternity sending people to rot in the underworld. That's gotta pay pretty well... Okay, okay, joking. The real loophole is that the demon origin of Demogoblin has zero backstory. So, insert lawyer, and its fine! No one really cares or knows much about Demogoblin anyways... And, back to the action. "I'm sorry. I'll summon you as an infant next time so you can't talk back. Anyways, what firepower do you have?" "Well, as you have made me so, I'm currently a twelve month old. You didn't put enough energy into the summon, so I'm running low on demon juice. However, I think that, if I had a small pumpkin or two, I could summon up enough fire to create bombs. Got any pumpkins on hand?" The "wizard" smiles at this notion and can't wait for next turn.
Summary (cause I got a bit carried away with the first and third actions): Summon the DEMOGOBLIN, who is a canon Spider-Man character who is definitely a lawyer. Definitely.
Requested Stats: [OG-O_R_I_G_I_N_] Demogoblin - HP: (Whatever's Reasonable), ATK: (Slightly Above Average For Charge (maybe?)), Ability: Pumpkin Bombs: This character can only attack when supplied with small (non-living) pumpkins. This character can also only possess (however many is reasonable) pumpkins at once (for balancing purposes).
Trump sees my hand, stretched to shake his. As he takes it I pull him in and devour his flesh. Why even make a deal with a completely untrustworthy creature?
I guess I have a small problem. There is an abomination in my secure base, adding adjectives to my entities and whatnot. Eternity and stuff. I look at the empty Chimera. A crack in the mask? ... I think I know why the Chimera is here. It is so empty. I know the feeling. I fill up the empty space inside the empty Chimera by teleporting into it through the crack (the spell is sight based), making it a full chimera. Then I release the well tested hungry visitation assimilation agents to make it an even fuller chimera.
I use telekinetic force to hold the chimera still. There is no escape.
My entities are ordered to collect rocks to heal and enlarge themselves with. Toaster boy should be watching the toast. The ones in another dimension should devour that dimension till they are big enough to simply walk out of the dimension into this one. Ah yeah and my mask is ordered to hold the bones of the empty chimera still so it can't move to fight back.
You try to do that, and successfully deal 25 damage to... Trumps Wall! Then you try to Teleport into the Empty Chimera! Sadly, the Crack is in the structure of the mask, but there isn't a hole leading into a non-sealed interior. Never mind that being literally physically hollow would be a bad idea from a design perspective... You then try to hold the Chimera still, but the telekinesis seems to... slip off of them, The Mask tilting quizzically before they step sideways and then continue on. It's like reality is too, slippery, around them. Entities Ordered!
Action 1: I continue to play Mario Kart. I complete a lap and am in first place when I notice the Empty/Full Chimera looking at me.
Action 2: I hand over the controller to One Punch Pigman, then fold the drawing of the Chimera into a paper airplane and throw it at the Chimera to distract it. I then throw a golden sword at the crack in its mask.
Action 3: I take the controller back from One Punch Pigman, who turns out to be a master of Mario Kart and is almost a full lap ahead of everyone else. I finish the race. As my Mario Kart character is celebrating, he drives through an inter-dimensional portal. Out of the portal the Inter-Dimensional Elephant created last round comes my Mario Kart character, the only person capable of defeating Waluigi...
...Waluigi himself.
Orders: Sword, keep waiting for an opportunity to assassinate assassins! Elephant, charge at the Chimera! Waluigi, challenge the other Waluigi to a duel or something!
Waluigi: 5/5 charges, summoned!
you do a lap in mario cart! then you throw a golden sword at the Chimera, which knocks it aside using its slender hand, leaving it to clatter uselessly to the ground. Then, you summon another Waluigi! (This consumes the Elephants action this round, too, unless I've tallied up the charges wrong. one action last round, 1 IDE charge last round, two this, so another 1 this round) WAAT. WHAAAAT IS THIS. THERE IS ONLY WAAAAN WAAALUIGI. HOW DID LUIGI MAKE ANOTHER WAAAN. Waluigi agrees with Waluigi. Waluigi does not understand how Waluigi was created by Luigi. Still, Waluigi thinks Waluigi will agree with Waluigi on one thing. With two Waluigis, it is time. YES. WALUIGI THYME. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa The Two Waluigis go off somewhere to play many Waluigi Games together because now is the thyme for that. It's all pretty ir-I mean, "very important", but also not immediately relevant to the battlefield.
So the Empty Chimera's taunting me, huh? It's going to regret that.
ACTION 1: I pull out a machine-gun and open fire on the Empty Chimera. The bullets flood the area around the Chimera, and then each bullet explodes into shrapnel.
The shrapnel buries itself into the Empty Chimera's body and heavily wound it.
ACTION 2 & 3: In the midst of the same pitch-black night, I yell at the darkness writhing around me,
'I offer my body to become your vessel! I will sacrifice my soul for the power of pure darkness! Accept me, please!'
I wait in anticipation of the darkness' response.
Pitch-Black: 5/5
(Bicyclops: 7/10)
The Bullets Bombard the Chimera! the repeated concussive force damages the Chimeras mask further, lowering it to Splintered condition as the crack in the Mask grows longer. And then... You offer your body. You offer your soul. You offer yourself to the Darkness. And it stops. Eerily still. for a few moments, the blackness doesn't move at all. Then, it ripples. And begins to surround you. Shadows deeper then pitch drape the ground. What little light comes from unnatural sources seems faint and weak. And then the Darkness takes your body, and inhabits it, covering the skin like armor, and generally taking control. Then it also takes your soul. ... You are now dead! -5 soul points! You may respawn with one round of actions. I'm not sure what exactly you Expected to happen when you offered your soul to pure darkness, really. The abysslike shadows of the night will listen to your future requests seriously, though.
Action 1: .The "wizard" finds himself In. A. Pumpkin. He tries to make some quip, but finds pumpkin in his mouth. He chews it up, spits it out, and says, "Why am I on trial!? You have no evidence. NONE! Here's what I did. I summoned some bees and turned some slippers into glass. Okay, fine, I told Prince Charming to attack, but I had no way of knowing the bees would turn him into salt. All you have ME on is maybe reckless homicide... okay, saying that out loud... You're more likely to get me for contract killing though... except, I didn't really pay him, so you couldn't call it that... What would you call it?... Incitement. All you can get me for is Incitement. And! incitement is only actually illegal in... the UN! So, if I teleport this pumpkin to... Abkhazia! It's not illegal! Or, I could just be a journalist... Meh. Okay. There's no place like... Abkhazia. There's no place like Abkhazia. There's no place like Abkhazia." The weirdo somehow manages to tap his feet together. As he finishes the incantation, he waits in anticipation. Hey, that rhymes! Unfortunately, nothing happens. He looks at his feet and sees that he isn't wearing his high-heels. Or dress, thankfully. Instead, he has his normal stupid T-Shirt and jeans on. Where his high-heels were is instead a note. "Hello, this is the Heeler. I have come to tell you that your curse has expired. YOUR WELCOME!" "Ugh. Fine, trial it is... Wait. This isn't a PROPER trial. I demand my 6th Amendment rights! I could care less about the impartial jury. I'm sure you've got one of those. And I'm sure I can call all of the witnesses I want. This'll also be quick, right? Definitely. We're probably also getting to the part where I get to confront the opposing witnesses, but no one other than me will enjoy that. No, I'm fine with the state of those rights. I demand my preferred council!"
The "wizard" pulls out a book of great spells named "Every Law Ever Authorized." It's a great book, you should read it. The book gets a bit sketchy when it starts talking about future laws, but it takes a few decades to get to page 567450754905890181 anyways, so there's nothing to worry about there. He skips to the chapter titled, "The United States: The Definition of Hippocracy." He finds the subsection that covers the Bill of Rights and begins to chant. "Speedy. Public. Impartial. District. Law. Inform. Accuse. Confront. Witness. Obtain." He tears the page out of the book and rips it to shreds. As he finishes, three complete words are left in his hand. He shouts the three words, "Assistance of Counsel!" Six chains of red, white, and blue energy leap from the scraps of power. The heads of the chains rub against every spot of their pumpkiny cage, as if searching for prey. They seem to realize that the prey isn't here. Suddenly, canoe shaped portals appear in front of the chains. They each dart through the portals like vipers (not the vindow variety). They emerge surrounding the Pumpkin Snails in their pumpkin temple or wherever they are. The chains aren't picky. They wrap around the Pumpkin Snails, restraining them. The snails struggle in their captivity, but... are snails, so they don't get far. The "wizard" yells, "I plead the SIXTH!" At this call, the chains blacken. They seem dormant for a few moments, but then the snails scream(? No, not scream... Huh, snails can grunt and hiss.) hiss in pain. Small rings of red, white, and blue energy crawl from the snails and runs down the chains. The rings pass down through the portals and reach the paper scraps where the chain originated. There, they converge into the words, causing them to glow with the power of law. As the rings of energy pass into the paper, the intensity of the light grows. As the light reaches the point that it could blind someone, the weirdo slams his hand down onto the paper. The scraps explode in a flag colored light and the chains disappear, leaving six rings on the weirdo's arm. "Those sneaky snails will snack on my snide filled snare."
Action 2: "Okay, I borrowed some of those snails' law energy. Now I just need payment for my... Assistant of Counsel." He proceeds to produce six objects out of his sleeves: An orange elf boot ("Straight from the North Pole."), a vial filled with green chemicals ("I've been told this is called science juice.") a small metal bat figurine ("I have a whole collection of these. I got this one in Idiotville Oregon. Real place, not where I got the figurine."), a match, a red and blue spider ("Elgoog tells me it's a Missulena Occatoria."), and an ear that looks distinctly Yoda-like ("If Disney asks, I grew this from an ear tree."). "I swear I got all of these legally... other than the match... no, the match too. i didn't have to kill Smokey the Bear to get that one." He proceeds to place the boot onto the bat figurine, spill the chemicals into the boot, drop the spider and ear into the chemicals, light the match, and drop that in as well. "Today on Cooking with Kookoo, we're cooking Lawyer Boot Soup. When we return, our lawyer arrives. Stay tuned."
Action 3: As the commercial break concludes (Ads for "RombleRom-A-Bol," "Golden Sword Enterprises," and "Valdivian."), the "wizard" slips the rings off of his arms. He places each one in the air and leaves them there to float. Black chains link the hovering rings together, forming a hexagon. The weirdo begins an incantation. "Three digits, all the same. A force to be summoned through the laws of the Living and Dead. One by coincidence, snails to power. One by convenience, a Living law to adhere. One by choice, items to appease. Six snails, Six amendment, Six items. The powers of evil are strong, but Death has need of Life. Live being of Dead, cursed one from the Web. Un-Living Goblin of Justice and Order. Rise from your rest of Delusions and Mystery. Rise."
A film of raw energy builds in the center of the hexagon. Out of the film, pale energy begins to pour. It enters the boot, which begins to shake and rumble uncontrollably. The boot's color twists, changing from a mad orange to a sinister blue. The liquid inside also changes to the same pale of the tendril grasping from within the portal. Suddenly, the rings drop, cutting the energy from the rings. The boot boils a deep red steam, like a fiery fist rising to its prey. As it reaches up, a pale light shoots through the center, and the smoke collapses, crumbling down into its footwear cage. A loud, alien whir explodes from the boot as the liquid within ripples. It then explodes upwards in a roaring flame. As it bursts in chaos through the sky, a mind reaches out to the cloud of evil. The smoke coils about itself, squeezing being into its form. The smoke freezes into wrinkled, pale, flesh, and a being is reborn. The creature is garbed in a dark blue cloak, with red covering the inner fabric. It stands upon a newly grown version of the bat figurine, a burning steel avatar that soars at its prey. Its wicked red eyes and snake-like tongue dart about, waiting to devour. Its being is completely terrifying... except that it's only one foot tall and is wearing a dark blue diaper where its belt should be.
"Demogoblin! What happened to you man?" Okay, this will take a slight bit of explaining. Now, you could just ask the Wizard Elgoog who the Demogoblin is, but its basically this: Take Hobgoblin. Add demon. Accentuate Narcissism. Discard demon. And there you have it. That pile of demonic leftovers is the Demogoblin. (Don't describe him like that to his face. That was one bad break up, and he'd rather not talk about it.) And now we return to our regularly scheduled... comedy? action? psychopathy? Yes, definitely psychopathy. "You were average height the last time I called you! What's wrong?" The Demogoblin hisses at the weirdo. "It's not my fault. You didn't use enough power. And take the next goblin ear from a Hobgoblin instead of some idiot Disn-" "Okay! Okay! I get it." Wait wait wait. Actually, another disclaimer is required. The Demogoblin... isn't exactly a lawyer. *Gasp*. You're all extremely surprised, right? But, that's not exactly true either. You see, (and no offense is meant to the GM by this) everyone can agree that lawyers become demons, right? I mean, you really have to be heartless to play such cutthroat games while balancing the lives of real people. Being a demon is practically the top rung a lawyer can get as far as promotions go. Really, living an eternity sending people to rot in the underworld. That's gotta pay pretty well... Okay, okay, joking. The real loophole is that the demon origin of Demogoblin has zero backstory. So, insert lawyer, and its fine! No one really cares or knows much about Demogoblin anyways... And, back to the action. "I'm sorry. I'll summon you as an infant next time so you can't talk back. Anyways, what firepower do you have?" "Well, as you have made me so, I'm currently a twelve month old. You didn't put enough energy into the summon, so I'm running low on demon juice. However, I think that, if I had a small pumpkin or two, I could summon up enough fire to create bombs. Got any pumpkins on hand?" The "wizard" smiles at this notion and can't wait for next turn.
Summary (cause I got a bit carried away with the first and third actions): Summon the DEMOGOBLIN, who is a canon Spider-Man character who is definitely a lawyer. Definitely.
Requested Stats: [OG-O_R_I_G_I_N_] Demogoblin - HP: (Whatever's Reasonable), ATK: (Slightly Above Average For Charge (maybe?)), Ability: Pumpkin Bombs: This character can only attack when supplied with small (non-living) pumpkins. This character can also only possess (however many is reasonable) pumpkins at once (for balancing purposes).
so, with a significant creativity bonus, that's...70 HP, 20A, and only 3 pumpkins at once. That said, you and the Demogoblin are still inside the giant pumpkin, because it doesn't look like you ever actually... left... the pumpkin. Also, wrapping the pumpkin snails in chains and making them experience pain really doesn't help your case.
Steve has no orders! He magics himself some shielding. The Squidship keeps flying, blackness dripping from its wounds. The Mask of Hungry Visitation tries to hold down the Empty Chimeras bones! Technically, this happened earlier, but since it's getting countered, it doesn't matter; The Empty Chimeras Dragging Arm whips around and jabs into the Masks flesh, knocking it away. The Kittenish Pelican follows orders. The Earth Pelican is fascinated by the Chimera, though... Something about the mask seems so different from the rest of this world. They wonder... Never mind. They follow orders. The Rock Crabs also follow orders, increasing in size by two each. The Windmills ruins start emitting haunting noises... it's probably just the wind through the holes in it. right? The entities in the Semielemental Plane might try what Hunger For Eggs On Toast said... if they heard it... but it'll probably take them quite some time. The Toasterboy Is watching the toast! It's just that Toast takes time to Toast! The Stone Chicken lays an Egg! The Bunker... Exists. As does the Pantheon. The Golden sword keeps looking. The Pigmen Idle. the IDE makes one IDMT which is used earlier. The Astral Plane Chicken looks like it just laid another egg, maybe? the Darkness which took lyricsdusk appears to be... acclimating itself to this state. It won't act This round. The Pumpkin snails keep making their trial exist! One of the Assassins sees an opportunity and assassinates the One Punch Pigman. Trump is shocked, Shocked! that his generous offer was refused! Just for that, he's going to keep building the wall he wanted built anyway, and he's going to make Hungry Visitor pay for it! With the power of his Hella Dosh and lawyers, he makes Hungry Visitor take out huge loans and pay for the Wall to be built another 55 HP! So there! Poutine uses his one currently relevant power- the power to produce poutine anywhere- and pours poutine all over the Toast Tree! 3 pieces of Toast are Ruined! the other two are sheltered by the tree. How dare he.
The Empty Chimera finishes moving towards The Great One. Its grabs them with the Slender arm, holding them in place, and then throws them directly into the path of a slash from the Dragging arm, tearing flesh from bone and inflicting Major Wounds! The Chimera then grabs them with the Slender arm again, and smashes their face into the ground... They are now at Critical Wounds! The Chimera glances around, and turns to Hunger For Eggs On Toast. All right, if they want to fight the Chimera, it'll let them. The Chimera will target Hunger For Eggs On Toast next round.
Battlefield.
[A-naturewriter] Terror Pants 127/200 HP (Bulletstorm, Spray and pray, machine gun, rockets, The big gun(locked on: None).). towering outside shopkeeper emporium. [A-naturewriter]Flying Spageti monster 32/55 HP 20 A/-15 A. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...? [OG-Acerak] Steve 43/25 HP, 0.5 Dig||Magic!A (Tunnel: 20.5/20) [OG-Moose/Acerak] Squidship of the Meese. 6/30 HP, In constant pain, a method of transport. 4A. [OG-Shard-Shard-Hunger For Eggs on Toast] Eishalon III: Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast (75% accuracy. can hit enemies by accident. stuck to HV. Mask instarepairs. ) 0/3 Energy Diamonds, 0 Awakening integrity (depleted) BUFF. [ OG-srovy?] Kittenish Pelican 55 rocks, on HfEoT's head. awakened (9/9 integrity) , awake. Earth Pelican 52 rocks, rock suit. O look the pelican. on the kitten on HfEoT's head. ( 1/8 integrity) Rock Crabs 26 Rocks x7 (awakened materials x1) [OG-Hunger(y) for Eggs on Toast] Windmill Ruins. they were so Cake Collector Slime, 27 cubic meters of cake. (in semielemental plane. F o r e t e r n i t y) Cake Thornbeast 14 Cakes, 4A, Awakened( 4/22 integrity) , (in semielemental plane. F o r e t e r n i t y) Toast Tree, 10/10 HP, Awakened(23/23 integrity), 2 toast.(+(1d2)d2 -1 toast/r) Intolerance Defence! Toaster 30/30 HP. Toasterboy 20 Rocks. Has 2 Toast III Stone chicken 51+$ Rocks. fed. processing food V. is a stone chicken. Awakened(0/26 integrity) has lain an egg. Bunker (surrounding Pantheon) 45 Rocks. Launcher (launches rocks.) [OG?-Arjan] Toast Pantheon 20/20 HP, immune to mold, surrounding tree. (awakened, 25/25 integrity) Turrets 1x4 HP 1x4A, (awakened 25/25 integrity) [OG-TheGreatOne] Golden Sword 5/5 HP, 3/1d8: Assassinate. Pyramid Pigmen 1x7 hp, scheme exaggeration A!x7 One Punch Pigman Dead. Inter-Dimensional Elephant 200/200 HP, 0 IDMT(+1/R),Healthful Hygene, . Waluigi has left the premises. Waluigi Thyme! [AG-Shard II]Eishalon II - Manifest Of Folly Some people know exactly what's going on, until they don't. the Eishalon may have been one of those... fryer, fryer, corpse on fi-er. [OG-naturewriter] Cosmic Monolith 46/100 HP 75% dodge chance. Dark Pulse(65) Antimatter(25x3) Flash (?) 4/4 Doomsday. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...? [OG-Bardymcbardyface] Astral Plane Chicken 150/150 HP 10A, lays eggs! Perceptive Potential. in Shopkeep shop in a Colosseum! Egg(x1d2 to 3+1d2) 20/20 HP (fostered III, Nurtured III. Warmed IV. any new ones lack these buffs.) [OG-SmartTJ]Pigmen 1x12 hp, horde agro, (int)(0.25x12)atk. [OG-LyricsDusk*] Some Dosh. [All Hallows Eve-Lyricsdusk] Darkness given Form 50/50 HP 20A, blades of abyss,lightless onslaught. Darkness Given Soul ✦✦✦✦✦ SP, and something crawled out, but a hateful mirror. Darkness with purpose. •••••. heritage of the black star and the reign of none. [OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamond Deal with the Godmodder [C] Nether Portal 10 HP, 11 resistance. active! Pumpkin Snails! 15x6 HP Pumpkin!A [AG] Assorted Assassins, 16x3+25 HP, 40% dodge. Poisoned: -1 HP/r! 5/1d8 : Assassinate. [AG]Trump 50/50 HP. has hella dosh. is being payed even hella-er dosh. 4/4 for Namesake. The Wall 150/20 HP, Guard Trump!A Poutine, 30 HP. +8 HP/turn. Is... made of poutine? 3/3 for What Even is Poutine Anyway. [WAAAAAAAAA]Waluigi, Pristine physical condition. Capable Celebrity Chin. WAAA worthy wonderosity. Unbelievable Uvula. Glorious Golf club. Tremendous Tennis racket. Beautiful Badminton Bombarder and Buffness. Amazing Action Abilities. Spectacularly sizeable Slacks. King-worthy kitchen of Kooking. WALUIGI HAS LEFT THIS LOCATION WITH ALL OF ITS... LUIGIS. IT IS TIME. WALUIGI THYME. AND WALUIGI THYME WAITS FOR GNOME ANN! [AG]100, 100% HP, item in 4%! leaving in 3! Numerology!A, 2,004 total HP! In stasis due to seasonal event! [All Hallows Eve] Empty Chimera. Slender Arm- Pristine. Draggingarm- Pristine. Claws- Razor Sharp. Shadow Tendril- Dripping. Legs- Duo. Mask- Splintered porcelain- white. ???, ???, ???.
[GM] Godmodder: 272 /300 HP 1/4 dimensionality, has rock snake (corpse?). Maintaining Empty Chimera. currently immune to attack. Hunger For Eggs On Toast: Founder, 66% skill. Owns a Unique'Magic Factory', Needs stuff he doesn't have. like FLEX TAP? woodworking skill which is not the same thing as cutting down trees: sufficient+. 1C.AC. Stuck to Mask of Hungresitation. Rock Mask, 90 rocks,23 cakes , Gathering Pickaxe FAICE!, Stone Rose, Is a fusion of Hungry Visitor and Srovy (6 actions! Actions must be self-consistent! Potential power boost. or not. more resistant to attack!) Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6 / 2), depleted. on battlefield. has several voidshards (~5). Completely untrustworthy. Ridiculous Wounds. Mediocre Wounds. pretty buff. has protected 14 Er... . Aeisenberg: with Phil swift, but not in the update room! rapier (minor attack buff)... +1?, Favour of the Deva, Coronal Relic (cyan), Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6), Probably Not a Martian. OrcalordBeyond: On battlefield, is a god which is possessing an air elemental which has turned into a offbrand flex sealed old yellow fire-breath animal and is flying. in Paradox Tennis (If an update passes between their post and the next P.tennis one, they can post in the main dop too.) Dracoflamer: on battlefield, probably(?)! deserves to be remembered forever. f'real. Cannot exhaust or over-strain muscles. ADrunkenDwarf: hand cut! Large Voidshard- sharp. 4 unknown objects(radiating bits of magic every so often), 6 practical joke implements. Yellow Eishalon Mask (5.7) - Storms Squire II, Thunder Twitches I, 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠 𝔇ominance VI (Draconic Dominance.). SirNatureWriter: just check their sector. shiny, !shiny! scrap metal, 2070ish? bottles of Restricted Godmodder energy. isn't currently being a shopkeeper. Book from the Globglogabgalab's set (Animated). Acerak the Eternal. <Garfield the Tabaxi: Reviled by Globglogabgalab! slightly wounded. guardian spirits, summoning mount, shielded, 1 charge stored. Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Pong-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Thumb War-Monopoly-Tennis is a sane game for sane people?!> BardymcBardface: light wounds! historianism III! 2 charges! in weird lobby! O_R_I_G_I_N: Light Wounds. Fascination Of Beyond! Signed photo of Waluigi! Box of Thymemicrophoneamen. In. A. Pumpkin. And has Demogoblin. The Great One: Critical Wounds! LyricsDusk: Dead. 6 Soul Points. Tenebrous Leverage.
I take the egg and cast duplication on it, which ignores basic laws of math by turning 1 egg = 1egg into 1 egg = 2 eggs. Then I put the eggs on the toast and eat the [eggs on toast]. A flash of light brightens the world.
My my.... I feel... look... am... will be... eternally ... incredible.
I take the terribly from and put it to my strongness, making me terribly terribly strong
I walk towards the empty chimera. My fists blur, the masks tentacles blur, hitting hard and fast. I snap and The Other Hungry Visitor appears for a visit, a giant maw. Using all power I punch the empty chimera towards the maw and the maw comes forward. As it closes, it returns into another dimension... which should imprison the empty chimera somewhere extradimensional with lots of teeth around it, eternally chewing.
Action 1: "You know, from a theoretical standpoint, the laws binded them in those chains, not me. Tell them Demogoblin." The goblin grunts. "See! He agrees! I think... Anyways, now to cover that pumpkin problem." The "wizard" pulls a sword sized carving knife out of his sleeve. He then begins to spin, which is extremely inadvisable. And now, a safety warning from the Children Are Never Trusted Initiative, or the CANT Initiate: Are you a kid? Well, if you are, don't play with knives. Are you still in elementary school? If you are, don't play with knives. Are you a teenager who thinks you are so cool? If so, don't play with knives. Are you sixty years old, balding, divorced, working a dead end job at McDonalds, and finding your exclusive source of affection in your chihuahua? Really, you shouldn't play with knives. This concludes today's message. Remember kids, don't play with knives. Or forks. Or even spoons. That stuff is what adults are for. Have a great NEVER ENDING, TORTUROUS, POINTLESS, UNEVENTFUL, SOUL SUCKING Life. Back to the action, the weirdo spins around with a knife in one hand, chopping chunks of pumpkin from the walls of his prison. The Demogoblin is suddenly thankful for being so short as the weirdo's cuts land just above him. As the pieces of pumpkin begin to dislodge from the wall, the weirdo's other hand slips into his sleeve and pulls out an empty can of pumpkin pie filling. He finesses the can so that it catches the pumpkin guts, sending them falling into The MARVELOUS PUMPKIN PIE FACTORY. Why does he have this portal? Well, he usually just donates a pumpkin a year for a free magazine subscription to Aristotle's Kitchen. However, they gladly accept donations. Anyways, he continues to cut into the giant pumpkin until... it looks like a very nice apartment made of pumpkin. The room has a pumpkin couch, pumpkin TV, pumpkin clock, pumpkin table, pumpkin oven, pumpkin cabinets filled with pumpkin bowls and cutlery, pumpkin window to nowhere, pumpkin bed, pumpkin blankets, pumpkin light bulbs, and, of course, a pumpkin bathroom, with pumpkin toilet, pumpkin sink, pumpkin shower, pumpkin mirror (don't ask how that actually works), and pumpkin toilet paper. The Demogoblin rises a few inches from his cowering and asks, "What is this?" "Well, you see, this whole pumpkin thing got me thinking," Thinking is never a good sign. Be afraid. Very afraid. "and there's no point in me leaving here. My magic still works. I'm safe. The Empty Chimera can't really get me. Poutine can't kill me. The Pumpkin Snails are using all of their energy just to keep this pumpkin going for crying out loud! This pumpkin is like a bubble of peace to let me do what I want to. I've got a convoluted plan or two in the works, so I figured I'd set up shop for a round or two and tinker with things." The Demogoblin is not satisfied by this response. "Then why did you summon me?" "Because I figure the snails will stop the trial when they figure out my plan, so I wanted help sooner rather than later." The Demogoblin grunts and sits down on the pumpkin couch. "See, it's a good plan. Now then..."
Action 2: The "wizard" heads over to the pumpkin table and takes out the "nice, big, dollop of Poutine" he got three turns ago. He dumps the poutine onto the table and methodically pulls each and every french fry out of the gravy and cheese curds. He then takes these and throws them in the pumpkin oven and lets them cook at 400 degrees for a few minutes. Surprisingly, after that time passes, the fries are actually cooked, having most of the gravy evaporated off so that the fries are nice and crisp again. Next, he takes his pumpkin hammer (it was a big pumpkin) and smashes the fries into a potatoy mush. He throws this into one of his pumpkin bowls and (using surprisingly non-pumpkin ingredients) dumps in some cooking oil into the bowl, cracks a few eggs in, pours in some flour, sprinkle on some salt, and spills in some water. He mixes these ingredients by hand until he has a nice Potato Dough, which he bags and throws up his sleeves for later. "Wow. I did all of that without making a Cooking with Kookoo joke. My ratings must be dropping."
Action 3: The weirdo turns to the remaining poutine ingredients. He takes the cheese curds and crushes them, sprinkling the cheese dust into the gravy. He then takes the gravy and adds in some sugar. He then stirs. And stirs. And stirs. And, poof, he somehow made a gravy and cheese icing. Yum. He bags this as well and throws it into his other sleeve. The Demogoblin gets bored and groans. "Are you just going to make food while we rot here?" "No, next I'm going to get a plant to grow in here so that we can get more oxygen, then meditate, maybe watch some TV, manufacture a lightsaber, create a philosopher's stone, ponder that stupid white mask, and do some other stuff. This'll be great fun." The goblin groans and starts to take a nap on the couch. "Don't worry baby Demogoblin, I'll get bored in here after another five rounds."
ACTION 1-3 (Respawn): The earth begins shaking as cracks start to appear in the ground. The cracks grow larger, and wider, until it's split into a gigantic fissure. Then, with a whirr, a iron platform rises out of the newly-formed fissure...
With a mechanical robot copy of LyricsDusk lying on top, eyes closed.
A wire pops out of the platform and into the robot clone, and the platform begins to glow brightly. The glow shines blindingly, more and more, and all of a sudden dies down with a long whirr. A eternity passes. Then, slowly, the robot clone opens its eyes. A new soul shines from its body, a copy of LyricsDusk's soul gently glimmering in the night.
SOUL BACKUP COMPLETE!
If possible, I would like the Darkness to strike at the Empty Chimera.
I get a bit of magic time dust and slow the time relative to other dimensions in this dimension. This should help with the timely return of my entities.
Steve from Minecraft pops through a Nether Portal and his server immediately lags out and disconnects, causing him to almost instantaneously poof out of existence, dropping 3 stacks of TnT, a full set of enchanted Diamond Armor, an enchanted diamond sword, bow, and trident, 10 enchanted gold apples, and 20 Pillager spawn eggs (he hacked it in), and a working nether portal is left behind his dropped loot.
Have fun with this!
I cast Gate to make a portal to the place in the Nether where I found the TNT. I eat some golden apples to regain my health, then equip the armour and pick up the sword.
Action 2: I devour as much Poutine as possible.
Action 3: I distract the assassins to try to create an opportunity for the animated sword to assassinate them.
Orders: All entities capable of eating, eat poutine! Sword, assassinate assassins!
I take the egg and cast duplication on it, which ignores basic laws of math by turning 1 egg = 1egg into 1 egg = 2 eggs. Then I put the eggs on the toast and eat the [eggs on toast]. A flash of light brightens the world.
My my.... I feel... look... am... will be... eternally ... incredible.
I take the terribly from and put it to my strongness, making me terribly terribly strong
I walk towards the empty chimera. My fists blur, the masks tentacles blur, hitting hard and fast. I snap and The Other Hungry Visitor appears for a visit, a giant maw. Using all power I punch the empty chimera towards the maw and the maw comes forward. As it closes, it returns into another dimension... which should imprison the empty chimera somewhere extradimensional with lots of teeth around it, eternally chewing.
Entities collect rocks!
You Eggs on Toast! This gives you a notable power boost which requires you to constantly be eating Eggs on Toast to maintain it. Then you make yourself physically more Buff! Then you attack the Empty Chimera, tossing it into another dimension and replacing the Pristine condition of the Slender arm with Blemished!
Action 1: "You know, from a theoretical standpoint, the laws binded them in those chains, not me. Tell them Demogoblin." The goblin grunts. "See! He agrees! I think... Anyways, now to cover that pumpkin problem." The "wizard" pulls a sword sized carving knife out of his sleeve. He then begins to spin, which is extremely inadvisable. And now, a safety warning from the Children Are Never Trusted Initiative, or the CANT Initiate: Are you a kid? Well, if you are, don't play with knives. Are you still in elementary school? If you are, don't play with knives. Are you a teenager who thinks you are so cool? If so, don't play with knives. Are you sixty years old, balding, divorced, working a dead end job at McDonalds, and finding your exclusive source of affection in your chihuahua? Really, you shouldn't play with knives. This concludes today's message. Remember kids, don't play with knives. Or forks. Or even spoons. That stuff is what adults are for. Have a great NEVER ENDING, TORTUROUS, POINTLESS, UNEVENTFUL, SOUL SUCKING Life. Back to the action, the weirdo spins around with a knife in one hand, chopping chunks of pumpkin from the walls of his prison. The Demogoblin is suddenly thankful for being so short as the weirdo's cuts land just above him. As the pieces of pumpkin begin to dislodge from the wall, the weirdo's other hand slips into his sleeve and pulls out an empty can of pumpkin pie filling. He finesses the can so that it catches the pumpkin guts, sending them falling into The MARVELOUS PUMPKIN PIE FACTORY. Why does he have this portal? Well, he usually just donates a pumpkin a year for a free magazine subscription to Aristotle's Kitchen. However, they gladly accept donations. Anyways, he continues to cut into the giant pumpkin until... it looks like a very nice apartment made of pumpkin. The room has a pumpkin couch, pumpkin TV, pumpkin clock, pumpkin table, pumpkin oven, pumpkin cabinets filled with pumpkin bowls and cutlery, pumpkin window to nowhere, pumpkin bed, pumpkin blankets, pumpkin light bulbs, and, of course, a pumpkin bathroom, with pumpkin toilet, pumpkin sink, pumpkin shower, pumpkin mirror (don't ask how that actually works), and pumpkin toilet paper. The Demogoblin rises a few inches from his cowering and asks, "What is this?" "Well, you see, this whole pumpkin thing got me thinking," Thinking is never a good sign. Be afraid. Very afraid. "and there's no point in me leaving here. My magic still works. I'm safe. The Empty Chimera can't really get me. Poutine can't kill me. The Pumpkin Snails are using all of their energy just to keep this pumpkin going for crying out loud! This pumpkin is like a bubble of peace to let me do what I want to. I've got a convoluted plan or two in the works, so I figured I'd set up shop for a round or two and tinker with things." The Demogoblin is not satisfied by this response. "Then why did you summon me?" "Because I figure the snails will stop the trial when they figure out my plan, so I wanted help sooner rather than later." The Demogoblin grunts and sits down on the pumpkin couch. "See, it's a good plan. Now then..."
Action 2: The "wizard" heads over to the pumpkin table and takes out the "nice, big, dollop of Poutine" he got three turns ago. He dumps the poutine onto the table and methodically pulls each and every french fry out of the gravy and cheese curds. He then takes these and throws them in the pumpkin oven and lets them cook at 400 degrees for a few minutes. Surprisingly, after that time passes, the fries are actually cooked, having most of the gravy evaporated off so that the fries are nice and crisp again. Next, he takes his pumpkin hammer (it was a big pumpkin) and smashes the fries into a potatoy mush. He throws this into one of his pumpkin bowls and (using surprisingly non-pumpkin ingredients) dumps in some cooking oil into the bowl, cracks a few eggs in, pours in some flour, sprinkle on some salt, and spills in some water. He mixes these ingredients by hand until he has a nice Potato Dough, which he bags and throws up his sleeves for later. "Wow. I did all of that without making a Cooking with Kookoo joke. My ratings must be dropping."
Action 3: The weirdo turns to the remaining poutine ingredients. He takes the cheese curds and crushes them, sprinkling the cheese dust into the gravy. He then takes the gravy and adds in some sugar. He then stirs. And stirs. And stirs. And, poof, he somehow made a gravy and cheese icing. Yum. He bags this as well and throws it into his other sleeve. The Demogoblin gets bored and groans. "Are you just going to make food while we rot here?" "No, next I'm going to get a plant to grow in here so that we can get more oxygen, then meditate, maybe watch some TV, manufacture a lightsaber, create a philosopher's stone, ponder that stupid white mask, and do some other stuff. This'll be great fun." The goblin groans and starts to take a nap on the couch. "Don't worry baby Demogoblin, I'll get bored in here after another five rounds."
You turn the inside of the pumpkin into an (pumpkin) apartment building, cook some potato dough, and make some gravy and cheese icing. The Trial seems to not know how to respond to that... At least, the pumpkin sticks around.
ACTION 1-3 (Respawn): The earth begins shaking as cracks start to appear in the ground. The cracks grow larger, and wider, until it's split into a gigantic fissure. Then, with a whirr, a iron platform rises out of the newly-formed fissure...
With a mechanical robot copy of LyricsDusk lying on top, eyes closed.
A wire pops out of the platform and into the robot clone, and the platform begins to glow brightly. The glow shines blindingly, more and more, and all of a sudden dies down with a long whirr. A eternity passes. Then, slowly, the robot clone opens its eyes. A new soul shines from its body, a copy of LyricsDusk's soul gently glimmering in the night.
SOUL BACKUP COMPLETE!
If possible, I would like the Darkness to strike at the Empty Chimera.
You respawn! The Darkness can't target the Chimera because it's in another dimension, but it also notes that is one of the requests that it is less inclined to grant.
I get a bit of magic time dust and slow the time relative to other dimensions in this dimension. This should help with the timely return of my entities.
I awaken Toasterboy and the Bunker.
You try to do that!...your magic time dust explodes into pretty fireworks. Awakenings granted, and boosted due to your For Eggs On Toast state!
Steve from Minecraft pops through a Nether Portal and his server immediately lags out and disconnects, causing him to almost instantaneously poof out of existence, dropping 3 stacks of TnT, a full set of enchanted Diamond Armor, an enchanted diamond sword, bow, and trident, 10 enchanted gold apples, and 20 Pillager spawn eggs (he hacked it in), and a working nether portal is left behind his dropped loot.
Have fun with this!
I cast Gate to make a portal to the place in the Nether where I found the TNT. I eat some golden apples to regain my health, then equip the armour and pick up the sword.
Action 2: I devour as much Poutine as possible.
Action 3: I distract the assassins to try to create an opportunity for the animated sword to assassinate them.
Orders: All entities capable of eating, eat poutine! Sword, assassinate assassins!
You manage to heal yourself to Serious Wounds! You try to eat Poutine, but due to your wounds do not accomplish much. 10 damage to Poutine! You grant the Animated sword a -2 to the roll for chargeup time!
I meditate upon the forbidden name of Joseph, pondering the infinite mysteries of his identity.
Joe 11/50.
Order for Steve: keep defending the ship, and make some repairs, if possible.
You keep meditating. Through your connection to he who must not be inquired of names, you know there is an Errant sect of him-worshipers who wish to know his name; he wishes to excommunicate them without them realising they have been excommunicated, and requires your devotion to this task. He also bids you to remember that "Assassination is the art of killing the target while remaining undetected", though how that relates is unclear.
Steve does his best to repair the ship, but despite his magical capabilities, it's mostly a lost call. he only manages to heal it 6 HP, and it soon bleeds out just as much. The Mask idles because it already helped HV dimension thing. the Kittenish Pelican gathers rocks. So does the Earth pelican, shaking its head for some reason. and the crabs. A deep growing blows across the wind, a creaking from something best left forgotten. The tree is a tree, the toaster a toaster, the boy a boy, etc. The Golden Sword spots an opportunity, and swoops down, neatly decapitating the healthiest assassin! The Inter-dimensional Elephant eats some poutine. The only place I have seen mention elephants and poutine together so far is some resteraunt or maybe hotel with decent reviews, so I'm going to assume Elephants can in fact digest poutine. It doesn't do too much damage, though, since most of the investment was into its IDMT. The Astral Chicken Fosters its eggs. The Darkness That No Longer Sings steps forwards. Its form, physical, is strangely still, a new being which does not truly live, that does not move like something Alive. But five points of blackness are suddenly There around it, not Moved, but noticeable in a way their appearance as minuscule points does not suggest. A crackle of blackness, like a bolt of lightning that Isn't on a level far beyond all else, a bolt that isn't just Absent, but inverted on a metaphysical level, flickers through them, and from points they blossom into full stars of nothing. Not black holes, no. These points simply Shine with blackness, like some strange anti-photon. And then there's some indeterminable change, and there's (The air shimmers like a hot summer day) The Pumpkin Snails seem to be conferring among themselves... of course, they maintain the trial for now. One assassin spots an opportunity themselves, and stabs the Toasterboy. Even with its new awakening, they deal significant damage- 7 rocks, specifically. Trump decides not to take "No and I will literally try to eat you right now with my reality warping powers" for an answer, and hires extremely high-level Ninjas to sneak into Hungry Visitors Base and steal Awakened objects! Now, as it turns out, the highest-level ninja is Not the stealthiest ninja. You see, Ninjas work on, among other things, Assassination. Assassination is the art of killing a target while remaining unobserved. So, as long as nobody lives to tell about it, it is technically an assassination. These ninjas love technicalities. As it turns out, they're actually very buff wizards. This helps them with carrying the rocks, and also, they bribe everyone who considers reporting them. Each rock crab now has 10 dollars making up part of their body, but the Awakened materials one is stolen and this is not at all related to my not being sure how to actually deal with that as a mechanic. (the ground near the shimmer starts to crack, and warp.) Poutine uses his ultimate power! Raising a mostly-indistinguishable bit of his bloby body towards the sky, he uses the legendary ability of "What even is Poutine, Anyway.". Legends say not even the gods could predict the effect of his power, and poutine himself was almost giddy with anticipation. What sort of havoc could he unleash with this power? Oh, they would Rue the day they claimed his legendary body was not worth at least ten percent more then, what, a biscuit? Honestly! And so a thread of Godmodding reaches into conceptspace, searching, searching, and searching. Poutine. What is, no really, what does it mean, for real though? and it finds... This. (the shimmer intensifies, and brightens.) Poutine immediately finds his body transforming into a pile of fries mixed with gravy and cheese. This has four effects. One, Poutine no longer has access to "What even is Poutine, Anyway.". Two, Poutine gains a more solid form, which quadruples his health and halves his regeneration. because fries. Three, Poutine gains a new special, "What's Gravy even Made of?", which will allow for him to further evolve his knowledge of his own physical structure, and he can't wait. but he will, because it will need 4 rounds to charge. Four, Poutine gains access to the new cheese strat, which of course everyone hates. except noobs. Since Poutine is made of cheese, he has to use the cheese strat, so he either hates himself, or he's a noob. Anyway, the cheese strat is this: Instead of fighting right in front of everyone in their faces, people who have powers like "can make poutine anywhere", use these powers from advantagous vantage positions where they are better defended. Or to translate, Poutine is now hiding behind Trumps Wall. the shimmer turns a deep red. And then a Claw comes through reality. So sharp they sunder reality itself, the Claws that are beyond the ken of men tear through it, It's not quite like a flap of paper in the wind. That would imply a sort of two-dimentionality to it. No, Reality is three dimensional. A torn sheet flaps in the third dimension. fading in and out of its own. So this three-dimensional tear, illuminated by a sanguine pal, Flaps <Sideways> and <back> in dimensions you all can't quite perceive. a howling abyss leading not nowhere, but into the bite place of Hungery Visitar. and the Tear widens, and the Empty Chimera crawls out, and decides not to say who it's targeting next round, but crouches low in preparation, leaving the tear behind it. (Later, the astral plane Chicken walks by, and the tear quietly stops existing.)
Battlefield.
[A-naturewriter] Terror Pants 127/200 HP (Bulletstorm, Spray and pray, machine gun, rockets, The big gun(locked on: None).). towering outside shopkeeper emporium. [A-naturewriter]Flying Spageti monster 32/55 HP 20 A/-15 A. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...? [OG-Acerak] Steve 43/25 HP, 0.5 Dig||Magic!A (Tunnel: 20.5/20) [OG-Moose/Acerak] Squidship of the Meese. 6/30 HP, In constant pain, a method of transport. 4A. [OG-Shard-Shard-Hunger For Eggs on Toast] Eishalon III: Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast (75% accuracy. can hit enemies by accident. stuck to HV. Mask instarepairs. ) 0/3 Energy Diamonds, 0 Awakening integrity (depleted) BUFF. [ OG-srovy?] Kittenish Pelican 61 rocks, on HfEoT's head. awakened (9/9 integrity) , awake. Earth Pelican 58 rocks, rock suit. O look the pelican. on the kitten on HfEoT's head. ( 1/8 integrity) Rock Crabs 28 Rocks x6 [OG-Hunger(y) for Eggs on Toast] Windmill Ruins. they were so Toast Tree, 10/10 HP, Awakened(23/23 integrity), 1 toast.(+(1d2)d2 -1 toast/r) Intolerance Defence! Toaster 30/30 HP. Toasting Toast I Toasterboy 13 Rocks. Awakened (0/30 integrity) Stone chicken 43+!@ Rocks. fed. processing food V. is a stone chicken. Awakened(0/26 integrity) Bunker (surrounding Pantheon) 45 Rocks. Launcher (launches rocks.) Awakened(30/30 integrity) [OG?-Arjan] Toast Pantheon 20/20 HP, immune to mold, surrounding tree. (awakened, 25/25 integrity) Turrets 1x4 HP 1x4A, (awakened 25/25 integrity) [OG-TheGreatOne] Golden Sword 5/5 HP, 0/1d8: Assassinate. Pyramid Pigmen 1x7 hp, scheme exaggeration A!x7 Inter-Dimensional Elephant 200/200 HP, 1 IDMT(+1/R),Healthful Hygene, . Waluigi has left the premises. Waluigi Thyme! [AG-Shard II]Eishalon II - Manifest Of Folly Some people know exactly what's going on, until they don't. the Eishalon may have been one of those... fryer, fryer, corpse on fi-er. [OG-naturewriter] Cosmic Monolith 46/100 HP 75% dodge chance. Dark Pulse(65) Antimatter(25x3) Flash (?) 4/4 Doomsday. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...? [OG-Bardymcbardyface] Astral Plane Chicken 150/150 HP 10A, lays eggs! Perceptive Potential. in Shopkeep shop in a Colosseum! Egg(x1d2 to 3+1d2) 20/20 HP (fostered III, Nurtured III. Warmed IV. any new ones lack these buffs but all have +1 fostered) [OG-SmartTJ]Pigmen 1x12 hp, horde agro, (int)(0.25x12)atk. [OG-LyricsDusk*] Some Dosh. [All Hallows Eve-Lyricsdusk] Darkness given Form 50/50 HP 20A, blades of abyss,lightless onslaught. Darkness Given Soul ✦✦✦✦✦ SP, and something crawled out, but a hateful mirror. Darkness with purpose. •••••. heritage of the black star and the reign of none. [OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamond Deal with the Godmodder [C] Nether Portal 10 HP, 11 resistance. active! Pumpkin Snails! 15x6 HP Pumpkin!A [AG] Assorted Assassins, 15x3 HP, 40% dodge. Poisoned: -1 HP/r! 5/1d8 : Assassinate. [AG]Trump 50/50 HP. has hella dosh. is being payed even hella-er dosh. has 28 Awakened rocks. 4/4 for Namesake. The Wall 150/20 HP, Guard Trump...and Poutine!!!!!A Poutine, 64 HP. +4 HP/turn. Is made of fries, cheese, and gravy. 0/4 What's Gravy even made of?. [WAAAAAAAAA]Waluigi, Pristine physical condition. Capable Celebrity Chin. WAAA worthy wonderosity. Unbelievable Uvula. Glorious Golf club. Tremendous Tennis racket. Beautiful Badminton Bombarder and Buffness. Amazing Action Abilities. Spectacularly sizeable Slacks. King-worthy kitchen of Kooking. WALUIGI HAS LEFT THIS LOCATION WITH ALL OF ITS... LUIGIS. IT IS TIME. WALUIGI THYME. AND WALUIGI THYME WAITS FOR GNOME ANN! [AG]100, 100% HP, item in 4%! leaving in 3! Numerology!A, 2,004 total HP! In stasis due to seasonal event! [All Hallows Eve] Empty Chimera. Slender Arm- Blemished. Draggingarm- Pristine. Claws- Razor Sharp. Shadow Tendril- Dripping. Legs- Duo. Mask- Splintered porcelain- white. ???, ???, ???.
[GM] Godmodder: 272 /300 HP 1/4 dimensionality, has rock snake (corpse?). Maintaining Empty Chimera. currently immune to attack. Hunger For Eggs On Toast: Founder, 66% skill. Owns a Unique'Magic Factory', Needs stuff he doesn't have. like FLEX TAP? woodworking skill which is not the same thing as cutting down trees: sufficient+. 1C.AC. Stuck to Mask of Hungresitation. Rock Mask, 90 rocks,23 cakes , Gathering Pickaxe FAICE!, Stone Rose, Is a fusion of Hungry Visitor and Srovy (6 actions! Actions must be self-consistent! Potential power boost. or not. more resistant to attack!) Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6 / 2), depleted. on battlefield. has several voidshards (~5). Completely untrustworthy. Ridiculous Wounds. Moderate Wounds. pretty buff. has protected 14 Er... . Aeisenberg: with Phil swift, but not in the update room! rapier (minor attack buff)... +1?, Favour of the Deva, Coronal Relic (cyan), Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6), Probably Not a Martian. OrcalordBeyond: On battlefield, is a god which is possessing an air elemental which has turned into a offbrand flex sealed old yellow fire-breath animal and is flying. in Paradox Tennis (If an update passes between their post and the next P.tennis one, they can post in the main dop too.) Dracoflamer: on battlefield, probably(?)! deserves to be remembered forever. f'real. Cannot exhaust or over-strain muscles. ADrunkenDwarf: hand cut! Large Voidshard- sharp. 4 unknown objects(radiating bits of magic every so often), 6 practical joke implements. Yellow Eishalon Mask (5.7) - Storms Squire II, Thunder Twitches I, 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠 𝔇ominance VI (Draconic Dominance.). SirNatureWriter: just check their sector. shiny, !shiny! scrap metal, 2070ish? bottles of Restricted Godmodder energy. isn't currently being a shopkeeper. Book from the Globglogabgalab's set (Animated). Acerak the Eternal. <Garfield the Tabaxi: Reviled by Globglogabgalab! slightly wounded. guardian spirits, summoning mount, shielded, 1 charge stored. Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Pong-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Thumb War-Monopoly-Tennis is a sane game for sane people?!> BardymcBardface: light wounds! historianism III! 2 charges! in weird lobby! O_R_I_G_I_N: Light Wounds. Fascination Of Beyond! Signed photo of Waluigi! Box of Thymemicrophoneamen. In. A. Pumpkin. And has Demogoblin. The Great One: Serious Wounds. LyricsDusk: In Good Health. 6 Soul Points. Tenebrous Leverage.
ENTITY ACTIONS: I command the Darkness to cut up Poutine.
ACTION 1: With my knowledge of the Wall's exact makeup (due to it being my entity that transformed), I shoot an explosive arrow at each of the weak points in its mortar. Then, I press the detonation button, and the mortar explodes, leaving the Wall crumbling and unsteady.
ACTION (Charge) 2: The bicyclic lifeform in stasis tumbles out of stasis, with its bicyclic legs unfolding tyres and its tyre head manifesting one eye.
Huh, slice dimensions... that sounds useful. I am gonna take that. I summon a 2-way portal. One of them is next to me, the other one cuts off the claw from the arm. I grab the claw out of the portal next to me and slice open a pathway to the semiplane of cakes. I could get used to this. Entities collect rocks. Toasterboy watches the toast, Mask helps defend my base against potential attackers. I create the Rock overseer, which is supposed to oversee my entities to ensure they stay loyal.
The orisons to Joseph grow in intensity, with fire and brimstone falling from a 3' squared area in the sky. It isn't really very much, but it's a sign.
("O almighty Joseph, he who is not to be named, your wish is my command! Tell me more of these heretical blasphemers, so I may erase them from the face of reality!")
Joe ritual: 14/50
Skeltal order: put some Neosporin in the ship's wounds, and try and halt the bleeding.
Action 1: I ask around for a pigman to volunteer for an experiment. When I find one, I replace its arm with One-Punch Man’s remaining arm, making it a lot stronger.
Action 2: I bribe Trump to join our side with all of my remaining swords (except the one I animated) and free poutine for life.
Action 3: I take a TV and a Nintendo Switch out of my Bag of Holding and start playing Mario Kart.
Orders: I order my sword to assassinate more assassins. I order One-Punch Pigman to punch the Empty Chimera’s Mask. I order the Inter-Dimensional Elephant to make a portal to a certain dimension.
???: 2/5 charges (Assuming entities can charge)
Action 1: "Umm... Why not make depression juice? Making other people depressed can be... fun. Or depressing. It's a vicious cycle. Well, I've spent a long enough break from... breaking the Chimera? Except for the parts where I fail, of course." The weirdo gets up for the millionth time and falls again. "Right, still got that footwear problem. Well, I'm bored. Let's just..." The "wizard" takes out a bucket of red paint and dumps it on his high-heels. He then starts to click his heels together. "There's no place like danger. There's no place like danger. There's no place like danger." As he speaks the incantation, he disappears and reappears right in front of the Empty Chimera. "Lion Tiger or Bear?" he asks. As he stares at the Chimera's anatomy, he seems to get some sort of answer. "Oh my! That is confusing. All three yet none at once. That sounds like cheating." He reaches into his sleeves and produces a scarecrow. "He's got a brain, and he doesn't appreciate cheating. Really, he got an A on his test, and you get an A+ by writing on your arm. The nerve!" He takes the obviously lifeless scarecrow and whacks the Chimera, spreading straw all over the place. "Someone will clean that up. Anyways, you've gotta be a real heartless monster to cheat on a test like that. Really, this guy will tell you." Suddenly, an eerie man made of tin leans over the Empty Chimera. "Don't worry, he doesn't bite... yet. But this guy does." The "wizard" produces a lion out of his sleeve. The Empty Chimera gives it one look and the lion starts running. "Hey, you were the whole attack! What am I gonna do now! Stab it with some straw?" To answer this question, the stray pieces of straw suddenly animate and stab into the Empty Chimera. "I was joking, but okay." The straws then grow into silly sippy straws. They twist and twirl out until all of them are pointing down over the tin man. A loud slurping sound comes from the straws as the Chimera's Shadow Tendril is spilled onto the Tin Man. "I did not need to see that." The tin man then awakens, his body properly oiled. A demonic gleam fills its eye as it raises its tendril soaked ax. Its ax rapidly slices down at the Chimera, but then just stops. "Guess it needed more oil." The straws wrap themselves around the tin man's arms and de-attach themselves from the Chimera. They extend out and coil around the the cowardly lion.The straws then lift it up and place it right in front of the tin man. With a single look at the tin man, the lion turns and runs... right into the Chimera. A cloud of straw dust puffs up around them as they fight. Lion claws and Chimera claws and a lot of Chimera claws crawl out of the cloud to strike down on their opponent. As it seems excessively apparent that the lion is losing, the tin man starts moving again and enters the scuffle, his straw cape billowing in the wind. Axes join the flurry of claws, but one winner is still apparent. The dust clears, and all of the useless Over the Rainbow creatures are a heap of tin, straw, and fur on the ground, and the Empty Chimera stands tall, but...
Action 2: "Surprise!" A house comes plummeting out of the sky and lands on the Empty Chimera's Leg. "Can I be done now? I need a lunch break or something."
A little girl and her dog emerge out of the house. She looks around and comes to the ingenious conclusion, "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." The weirdo groans. "I thought I was done this action. I hit it with a house. Why do I have to babysit? And I don't feel comfortable sacrificing Dorothy for some inane plan." A claw tears through the house as the Empty Chimera frees itself from its confines. "Ah, that's why I'm not done. Well then, Ms. Dorothy, if you would please skip down... that way, it would be very... productive." Uncertain, Dorothy starts skipping... that way. As she does, a forest town with a distinct road starts to materialize. The village is made of small cottages. "Where'd all the Smurfs go?." Unfortunately, the Smurfs are a few realms away. Instead, munchkins begin to sneak out of their homes and examine the mess. One of the braver one proclaims, "The wicked witch... She's dead!" The "wizard" face palms. "Wrong musical number. You should do the "Scream For Your Life!" song." "We actually have a number for that." "No. Do not sing that." "Alright, we'll just run around screaming." All of the munchkins in the village run out of their houses, screaming about the terrible creature in their front yard. "No no no. Forget what I said. Forget it!" The munchkins don't listen.
While all of... that happens, the Empty Chimera seems to understand its situation. It notices that the fairy tale landscape is stronger in areas nearer to Dorothy. So, it can either kill Dorothy and get out easy, or try to kill the "wizard" again. Both are... valid options, but, regardless of which, the action ensues. As the Empty Chimera does... whatever it does, the "wizard" notices and turns to Dorothy. "You need to get out of here. Now. Follow the yellow brick road. You hear me? Follow the yellow brick road. Follow follow follow follow follow the yellow brick road. Got it?" Dorothy is still extremely confuse about what is happening. "Follow the yellow brick road?" "Yes, now go." Dorothy skips off, with Toto following. The weirdo then turns to the Munchkins. "Alright. You guys are munchkins, right? Then go do your thing. Min-Max your stats or something. Get OP loot. Kill weak enemies for levels. Do the thing that munchkins do." The munchkins stare at them confused. "We're not that type of munchkin," the leader says, "but we can sing about it." The weirdo groans. "Fine. Just take these cards and do ANYTHING." The "wizard" pulls out the game Munchkins and starts handing cards to the little forest people. Immediately, they seem to embrace their "true" selves, and start putting on fake elf ears, changing gender, race, and class, carrying ten times as many things as should be possible, and killing their pack mules for levels. Suddenly, an actual army forms with catapults, singing swords, flaming armor, magic missiles, weighted dice, and rapiers of unfairness. They all turn to attack the Empty Chimera, ready to attack, when some wise guy decides to throw in a wandering lawyer. Then someone else throws in a wandering net troll. And then everyone is throwing every modifier possible at the encounter to max out their loot. "Hmm... I think they took to the game a bit too... much." Regardless, hammers and swords and missiles and potions and monsters all fly at each other with murderous intent. The Empty Chimera is caught helplessly in the middle of all of this chaos, unable to make this from that or that from this. Somehow, it avoids almost everything, with the munchkins seeing it as the base of a tower of levels that must be destroyed last to get every single level possible out before the tower crumbles. That is until the "wizard" appears out of the chaos with a fake beard and slams his Dwarven Kneecapper into the Empty Chimera's fractured leg. "That always was my favorite card." Then, almost as quickly as it began, the chaos dissipates as the munchkins somehow disappear. In the distance, Dorothy skips along on the yellow brick road, heading to the Emerald City or something. The "wizard" taps his heels three times and mutters "There's no place like Action 3. There's no place like Action 3. There's no place like Action 3." And poof, he's in Action 3.
Action 3: And boy, Action 3 is fun. The weirdo finds himself in a bright, flowery dress. "Don't judge me. It goes with the high heels." He sits on a bench in the middle of a church. At the front of row after row of properly religious people, some priest drones on about the good of life and the evil of sin or whatever. The weirdo doesn't care much for that type of thing. He believes in Eghuiaeroucliopism, the belief that the world is built by some idiot slamming his hands on a keyboard. He reaches down into his purse (don't ask) and pulls out an hourglass with chopped thyme in it instead of sand. Small herbs drop down from the top of the glass to the bottom, marking the passage of
thymetime. The hourglass seems to be almost at the hour, with just a pinch of thyme left in the top. Back at the front of the room, the priest continues on his ramble. He starts reading some line or another from his holy book. Again, the weirdo lacks a care. Eghuiaeroucliopism believes that the written word has ultimate power, so their equivalent of a holy book is the song "25 or 6 to 4". Unfortunately, people write the song down, which sort of defeats the purpose. Anyways, the priest finishes reading his segment of the book and the whole congregation opens its mouth to say a single word. Just before they utter it, the weirdo tips the hourglass to about a seventy degree angle, stopping any thyme from passing up or down. The world around the "wizard" stops. "I wonder who would slap me for this first, Father Time, Chronos, Kronos, or Janus. Best not to find out." He reaches back into his purse and pulls out a small jar with an even smaller microphone in it. He places this down beside himself and takes the lid off of the hourglass, setting it on top of some random guy sitting next to him's head. He then reaches into the hourglass and scoops up the few pieces of thyme left in the hour. "If I could put thyme in a bottle... Nah, that joke is overused." As he drops the few pieces of thyme into the jar and the congregation states their single word. "Amen." As the thyme rests at the bottom, the "wizard" quickly spins the lid on the jar, trapping the thyme and microphone within. Inside, the sound of the holy word echoes. However, around the weirdo, everything stopped again. "Whoops." He screws the lid of the hourglass back on and flips the hourglass onto its head, causing thyme to spill back out of it. The church session continues. "I'd better leave this here." He drops the hourglass and taps his high-heels together, muttering, "There's no place like the battlefield. There's no place like the battlefield. There's no place like the battlefield." And so he returns to the battlefield with his dress, heels, and jar of "Amen". "Trust me. This is useful, and I need it. Just go with it."RP?: "Oh. You didn't really need to apologize, LyricsDusk. That joke was bad, but nothing to be sorry for. Then again, I will accept any apology that involves killing a dictator that wants me dead anyways, so apology accepted."
"Okay, fine TheGreatOne1115, that is a valid use of One Punch Man's arm. Personally, I prefer depression juice, but zombie arm works too. It'll probably even do more damage than depression. Hmm... I don't know how I feel about that."
ACTION 3: I pick up a grappling hook and shoot it directly at the Empty Chimera's mask. The grappling hook breaks off, and hooks pour themselves into the Mask's 'eyeholes', locking the hook into place. As I prepare to detonate the hook-bomb, suddenly an 'AMEN!' sounds across the world. The power of O-R-I-G-I-N-'s time-stopped 'AMEN!' startles my hand, releasing the explosion earlier than expected. The sudden explosion thus startles the Mask, causing it to be far more destroyed than it would have been.
RP: No need to thank me, O-R-I-G-I-N-. Politicians are a curse on the joy of pure war.
All entities + me collect some rocks from the ground creating a bunker. Then I build a wall out of rocks around the toast pantheon. Full lockdown mode.
You are now flying. yay?
You Explode Poutine! they splatter everywhere, but organs are for the weak, so the largest chunk still functions properly. 30 damage!
The Darkness swirls around for a few moments, before starting to fight back again! The Empty Chimera wields a shadowy arm as well, after all...
The Dosh doesn't have actions! It's just a lot of money which is now yours. It's more of an item, really.
So, charges grow at 3/round, not 1/round, since all your actions are going into it.
Orders given!
You awaken the pantheon, awaken the turret, and create a cannon!
Pigman upgraded to One-Punch Pigman! Attack up significantly!
Trump refuses your offer. The Godmodder's dosh is just too hella.
You then start playing mario cart.
Orders given! Alright, so the Elephant makes charges for dimensional things- Or at least, I'm assuming that's part of what you want? a default entity Does Not have charging capabilities, but yours can if you want which it sounds like you do.
The Scarecrow, Tin guy, and Lion appear! As the Weirdo has the straws animate, The Chimera raises its dragging arm, and slashes it straight through the Tin Man, causing the delicate machinery and/or life force to stop working! the slash continues on almost half a rotation before faltering, sending out hungry-looking shimmers of Bloodred light, killing the Lion, which falls into a heap. without somewhere to put the shadows, the straws are useless.
Then, the Dorthy-and-munchkins-and-roads-and-kneecappers thing happens! The Chimera struggles against them, Shadow arm lashing out in a half-dozen directions at once to divert the blows of every incoming projectile or attack, but in the end is unable to avoid the Dwarven Kneecapper! The Chimeras Stabbity leg Cracks, pieces of the boney spike falling to the floor in an unnatural quiet, and thin streams of white and black liquid begin to pour out of the cracks, with the same ineffable purity the mask possesses, in their own way.
Legs reduced to 'Duo' condition! Chimera loses access to the Stabitty leg ability and using that for walking! Its two remaining legs are still enough for it to move around on, though.
Then, you get a jar of Thyme+Amen+microphone! woo?
The Chimera sways aside at the last moment, avoiding the hook! It smiles blandly at you- no different from any other time, yet it almost seems... taunting.
you make a bunkerwall of rocks!
Steve sees the Squidship beginning to falter... They could heal it, but they have two directives. one is the safety of the ritual. So, they make part of the Squidship's flesh capable of independent levitation, protecting the ritual if the Ship dies.
The Eishalon Gathers rocks! the pelicans gather rocks! the crabs gather rocks! It all goes into the bunker. The Toast stuff... exists, and the Cake entities dig themselves almost entirely out of the Poutine!
The Windmill Creaks. The Gently-spinning blades upon it begin to slow. Already dented, scarred, and ripped, The probably-metal material making up its base begins to buckle. Six of the scars in the metal begin to shine a deep maroon as the structure slowly collapses. As it moves, space Bends along the dimensional aperture, distorting and lengthening. flashes of iridescent lightning crackle along the entire structure, and even burn parts of the surrounding land- but it is mostly contained. As the rift stretches further, the crackling intensifies, half-static rippling across it- And the Rift pops like a soap bubble. The Lighting intensifies for a fraction of a moment,flashing in every colour and flaring ever-bright. There is a screeching crash, and then the Windmill comes to a rest, mere wreckage upon the ground after everything that's happened to it.
The Cake Entities are trapped in the Semielemental plane of cakes. for eternity, most likely. Shame.
the Gold Sword keeps floating around- but the Assassins are Wary. it may be some time before it has a chance. The Interdimensional Elephant prepares itself, getting one IDMT, or Inter-Dimensional Manipulation Token, which is Kind of like a players charge but you can only use it for interdimensional manipulation!
None of the Assorted Assassins see any opportunities to assassinate someone this round!
Trump calls in some security contractors, and the Wall gets bigger. Then he spies an opportunity. Mozying up to Hunger For Eggs On Toast (who's rock launcher doesn't attack because they don't want to get sued), Trump offers them a deal. If they Awaken Trumps Wall, Trump will pay them quite a bit of Dosh. Deal? Somehow, even in such close quarters, Trump is protected by his wall...
Poutine dumps Poutine all over the Astral Plane Chickens nest, forcing them to seek higher ground! Nest destroyed!
The Pumpkin Snails... hm? Why are they listed as nothing? Anyway, the Pumpkin Snails rise up, Floating in the air. Each wreathed in the aura of the pumpkin Snails, they surround the Weirdo. He slew the others, and they will force upon him their trials. Like that one thing with unicorns and bringing them back to life, remember? And the first trial... They put him inside a giant pumpkin! How's he going to get out?
The Empty Chimera advances on the Bunker, its Slender arm dragging behind it as it raises the Dragging arm menacingly. Then, its slender arm whips forwards, piercing through holes in the rock structure, then is yanked back out, cleaving a hole in the bunker and removing 17 rocks! Rapidly advancing through the hole, the Chimera turns aside to dodge the few pellets from the Turret which guards the Pantheon, and brings its Dragging arm around in a motion that Rips through the Stone Chicken, sending chips and chunks of rock flying(though most of the damage is absorbed by the Awakening). Then, it turns to regard the Earth Pelican. In its eyes lies nothing. in its mask lies eternity. And the Pelican sees both. But it sees beyond that. It sees the crack in the mask. Eternity itself being made to kneel. But it is not that. The mask is not that which it is. The mask Is a frozen infinity that could shine forever. And yet it will not shine forever, not in so hostile a land. It seems nearly paradoxical, but they know there's some, missing piece to the puzzle. Something that makes it all fit. A sparking flicker of static floats up from the mask, but it doesn't Matter. that isn't the missing piece. The Chimera stands before them, and the Pelican knows it to be unstoppable. And yet it can be stopped, for it is not omnipotent. And yet it Is unstoppable, an immutable fact presented upon the world. That the Mask is cracked is no object. That a leg has shattered is naught. The Chimera is unceasing. but it is not. And yet it is.
And then the Chimera looks away. Its Dripping arm splashes on the ground, and then reforms, seeming to be a twisted mirror of the Slender one. It reaches towards the Windmills Ruins, and is placed upon them. And a dark smoke, darker then the night they fight in, as dark, perhaps, as the mask is light, billows forth for a moment. And then nothing. Or perhaps something.
Its actions for the round concluded, the Chimera turns to look at The Great One. That will be their next target.
Battlefield.
[A-naturewriter] Terror Pants 127/200 HP (Bulletstorm, Spray and pray, machine gun, rockets, The big gun(locked on: None).). towering outside shopkeeper emporium.
method of transport. 4A.









0/3 Energy Diamonds, 0 Awakening integrity (depleted) BUFF.


.
Pumpkin Snails! 15x6 HP Pumpkin!A

pretty buff. has protected 14 Er... .
Fascination Of Beyond! Signed photo of Waluigi! Box of Thymemicrophoneamen. In. A. Pumpkin.
[A-naturewriter] Flying Spageti monster 32/55 HP 20 A/-15 A. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...?
[OG-Acerak] Steve 33/25 HP, 0.5 Dig||Magic!A (Tunnel: 20.5/20)
[OG-Moose/Acerak] Squidship of the Meese. 10/30 HP, In constant pain, a
[OG-Shard-Shard-Hunger For Eggs on Toast] Eishalon III: Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast (75% accuracy. can hit enemies by accident. stuck to HV. Mask instarepairs. )
[ OG-srovy?] Kittenish Pelican 50 rocks, on HfEoT's head. awakened (9/9 integrity) , awake.
Earth Pelican 48 rocks, rock suit. O look the pelican. on the kitten on HfEoT's head. ( 1/8 integrity)
Rock Crabs 24 Rocks x7 (awakened materials x1)
[OG-Hunger(y) for Eggs on Toast] Windmill Ruins. they were so
Cake Collector Slime, 27 cubic meters of cake. (in semielemental plane. F o r e t e r n i t y)
Cake Thornbeast 14 Cakes, 4A, Awakened( 4/22 integrity) , (in semielemental plane. F o r e t e r n i t y)
Toast Tree, 10/10 HP, Awakened(23/23 integrity), 3 toast.(+(1d2)d2 -1 toast/r) Intolerance Defence!
Toaster 30/30 HP, Toasting 2 Toast II!
Toasterboy 20 Rocks
Stone chicken 55 Rocks. fed. processing food IV. is a stone chicken. Awakened(0/26 integrity)
Bunker (surrounding Pantheon) 45 Rocks. Launcher (launches rocks.)
[OG?-Arjan] Toast Pantheon 20/20 HP, immune to mold, surrounding tree. (awakened, 25/25 integrity)
Turrets 1x4 HP 1x4A, (awakened 25/25 integrity)
[OG-TheGreatOne] Golden Sword 5/5 HP, 2/1d8: Assassinate.
Pyramid Pigmen 1x7 hp, scheme exaggeration A!x7
One Punch Pigman 5 hp, 5A
Inter-Dimensional Elephant 200/200 HP, 1 IDMT(+1/R),Healthful Hygene,
[AG-Shard II] Eishalon II - Manifest Of Folly Some people know exactly what's going on, until they don't. the Eishalon may have been one of those... fryer, fryer, corpse on fi-er.
[OG-naturewriter] Cosmic Monolith 46/100 HP 75% dodge chance. Dark Pulse(65) Antimatter(25x3) Flash (?) 4/4 Doomsday. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...?
[OG-Bardymcbardyface] Astral Plane Chicken 150/150 HP 10A, lays eggs! Perceptive Potential. in Shopkeep shop in a Colosseum!
Egg(x1 to 3) 20/20 HP (fostered III, Nurtured III. Warmed IV.)
Nest: Full of Poutine.
[OG-SmartTJ] Pigmen 1x12 hp, horde agro, (int)(0.25x12)atk.
[OG-LyricsJust] Some Dosh.
[OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamond Deal with the Godmodder
[C] Nether Portal 10 HP, 11 resistance. active!
[AG] Assorted Assassins, 17x3+26 HP, 40% dodge. Poisoned: -1 HP/r! 4/1d8 : Assassinate.
[AG] Trump 50/50 HP. has hella dosh. is being payed even hella-er dosh. 4/4 for Namesake.
The Wall 120/20 HP, Guard Trump!A
Poutine, 22 HP. +8 HP/turn. Is... made of poutine? 2/3 for What Even is Poutine Anyway.
[WAAAAAAAAA] Waluigi, Pristine physical condition. Capable Celebrity Chin. WAAA worthy wonderosity. Unbelievable Uvula. Glorious Golf club. Tremendous Tennis racket. Beautiful Badminton Bombarder and Buffness. Amazing Action Abilities. Spectacularly sizeable Slacks. King-worthy kitchen of Kooking. Somehow still here while playing game .
[AG] 100, 100% HP, item in 4%! leaving in 3! Numerology!A, 2,004 total HP! In stasis due to seasonal event!
[All Hallows Eve] Empty Chimera. Slender Arm- Pristine. Dragging arm- Pristine. Claws-
Razor Sharp. Shadow Tendril- Dripping. Legs- Duo. Mask- Cracked porcelain-
white. ???, ???, ???.
[GM] Godmodder: 272 /300 HP 1/4 dimensionality, has rock snake (corpse?). Maintaining Empty Chimera. currently immune to attack.
Hunger For Eggs On Toast: Founder, 66% skill. Owns a Unique 'Magic Factory', Needs stuff he doesn't have. like FLEX TAP? woodworking skill which is not the same thing as cutting down trees: sufficient+. 1C.AC. Stuck to Mask of Hungresitation. Rock Mask, 90 rocks,23 cakes , Gathering Pickaxe FAICE!, Stone Rose, Is a fusion of Hungry Visitor and Srovy (6 actions! Actions must be self-consistent! Potential power boost. or not. more resistant to attack!) Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6 / 2), depleted. on battlefield. has several voidshards (~5). Completely untrustworthy. Ridiculous Wounds. Mediocre Wounds.
Aeisenberg: with Phil swift, but not in the update room! rapier (minor attack buff)... +1?, Favour of the Deva, Coronal Relic (cyan), Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6), Probably Not a Martian.
OrcalordBeyond: On battlefield, is a god which is possessing an air elemental which has turned into a offbrand flex sealed old yellow fire-breath animal and is flying. in Paradox Tennis (If an update passes between their post and the next P.tennis one, they can post in the main dop too.)
Dracoflamer: on battlefield, probably(?)! deserves to be remembered forever. f'real. Cannot exhaust or over-strain muscles.
ADrunkenDwarf: hand cut! Large Voidshard- sharp. 4 unknown objects(radiating bits of magic every so often), 6 practical joke implements. Yellow Eishalon Mask (5.7) - Storms Squire II, Thunder Twitches I, 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠 𝔇ominance VI (Draconic Dominance.).
SirNatureWriter: just check their sector. shiny, !shiny! scrap metal, 2070ish? bottles of Restricted Godmodder energy. isn't currently being a shopkeeper. Book from the Globglogabgalab's set (Animated).
Acerak the Eternal.
<Garfield the Tabaxi: Reviled by Globglogabgalab!
slightly wounded. guardian spirits, summoning mount, shielded, 1 charge stored. Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Pong-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Thumb War-Monopoly-Tennis is a sane game for sane people?!>BardymcBardface: light wounds! historianism III! 2 charges! in weird lobby!
O_R_I_G_I_N: Light Wounds.
Trump sees my hand, stretched to shake his. As he takes it I pull him in and devour his flesh.
Why even make a deal with a completely untrustworthy creature?
I guess I have a small problem. There is an abomination in my secure base, adding adjectives to my entities and whatnot. Eternity and stuff.
I look at the empty Chimera. A crack in the mask?
... I think I know why the Chimera is here. It is so empty. I know the feeling.
I fill up the empty space inside the empty Chimera by teleporting into it through the crack (the spell is sight based), making it a full chimera. Then I release the well tested hungry visitation assimilation agents to make it an even fuller chimera.
I use telekinetic force to hold the chimera still. There is no escape.
My entities are ordered to collect rocks to heal and enlarge themselves with. Toaster boy should be watching the toast. The ones in another dimension should devour that dimension till they are big enough to simply walk out of the dimension into this one.
Ah yeah and my mask is ordered to hold the bones of the empty chimera still so it can't move to fight back.
Action 1: I continue to play Mario Kart. I complete a lap and am in first place when I notice the Empty/Full Chimera looking at me.
Action 2: I hand over the controller to One Punch Pigman, then fold the drawing of the Chimera into a paper airplane and throw it at the Chimera to distract it. I then throw a golden sword at the crack in its mask.
Action 3: I take the controller back from One Punch Pigman, who turns out to be a master of Mario Kart and is almost a full lap ahead of everyone else. I finish the race. As my Mario Kart character is celebrating, he drives through an inter-dimensional portal. Out of the portal the Inter-Dimensional Elephant created last round comes my Mario Kart character, the only person capable of defeating Waluigi...
...Waluigi himself.
Orders: Sword, keep waiting for an opportunity to assassinate assassins! Elephant, charge at the Chimera! Waluigi, challenge the other Waluigi to a duel or something!
Waluigi: 5/5 charges, summoned!
So the Empty Chimera's taunting me, huh? It's going to regret that.
ACTION 1: I pull out a machine-gun and open fire on the Empty Chimera. The bullets flood the area around the Chimera, and then each bullet explodes into shrapnel.
The shrapnel buries itself into the Empty Chimera's body and heavily wound it.
ACTION 2 & 3: In the midst of the same pitch-black night, I yell at the darkness writhing around me,
'I offer my body to become your vessel! I will sacrifice my soul for the power of pure darkness! Accept me, please!'
I wait in anticipation of the darkness' response.
Pitch-Black: 4/5
(Bicyclops: 7/10)
Action 1: .The "wizard" finds himself In. A. Pumpkin. He tries to make some quip, but finds pumpkin in his mouth. He chews it up, spits it out, and says, "Why am I on trial!? You have no evidence. NONE! Here's what I did. I summoned some bees and turned some slippers into glass. Okay, fine, I told Prince Charming to attack, but I had no way of knowing the bees would turn him into salt. All you have ME on is maybe reckless homicide... okay, saying that out loud... You're more likely to get me for contract killing though... except, I didn't really pay him, so you couldn't call it that... What would you call it?... Incitement. All you can get me for is Incitement. And! incitement is only actually illegal in... the UN! So, if I teleport this pumpkin to... Abkhazia! It's not illegal! Or, I could just be a journalist... Meh. Okay. There's no place like... Abkhazia. There's no place like Abkhazia. There's no place like Abkhazia." The weirdo somehow manages to tap his feet together. As he finishes the incantation, he waits in anticipation. Hey, that rhymes! Unfortunately, nothing happens. He looks at his feet and sees that he isn't wearing his high-heels. Or dress, thankfully. Instead, he has his normal stupid T-Shirt and jeans on. Where his high-heels were is instead a note. "Hello, this is the Heeler. I have come to tell you that your curse has expired. YOUR WELCOME!" "Ugh. Fine, trial it is... Wait. This isn't a PROPER trial. I demand my 6th Amendment rights! I could care less about the impartial jury. I'm sure you've got one of those. And I'm sure I can call all of the witnesses I want. This'll also be quick, right? Definitely. We're probably also getting to the part where I get to confront the opposing witnesses, but no one other than me will enjoy that. No, I'm fine with the state of those rights. I demand my preferred council!"
The "wizard" pulls out a book of great spells named "Every Law Ever Authorized." It's a great book, you should read it. The book gets a bit sketchy when it starts talking about future laws, but it takes a few decades to get to page 567450754905890181 anyways, so there's nothing to worry about there. He skips to the chapter titled, "The United States: The Definition of Hippocracy." He finds the subsection that covers the Bill of Rights and begins to chant. "Speedy. Public. Impartial. District. Law. Inform. Accuse. Confront. Witness. Obtain." He tears the page out of the book and rips it to shreds. As he finishes, three complete words are left in his hand. He shouts the three words, "Assistance of Counsel!" Six chains of red, white, and blue energy leap from the scraps of power. The heads of the chains rub against every spot of their pumpkiny cage, as if searching for prey. They seem to realize that the prey isn't here. Suddenly, canoe shaped portals appear in front of the chains. They each dart through the portals like vipers (not the vindow variety). They emerge surrounding the Pumpkin Snails in their pumpkin temple or wherever they are. The chains aren't picky. They wrap around the Pumpkin Snails, restraining them. The snails struggle in their captivity, but... are snails, so they don't get far. The "wizard" yells, "I plead the SIXTH!" At this call, the chains blacken. They seem dormant for a few moments, but then the snails
scream(? No, not scream... Huh, snails can grunt and hiss.) hiss in pain. Small rings of red, white, and blue energy crawl from the snails and runs down the chains. The rings pass down through the portals and reach the paper scraps where the chain originated. There, they converge into the words, causing them to glow with the power of law. As the rings of energy pass into the paper, the intensity of the light grows. As the light reaches the point that it could blind someone, the weirdo slams his hand down onto the paper. The scraps explode in a flag colored light and the chains disappear, leaving six rings on the weirdo's arm. "Those sneaky snails will snack on my snide filled snare."Action 2: "Okay, I borrowed some of those snails' law energy. Now I just need payment for my... Assistant of Counsel." He proceeds to produce six objects out of his sleeves: An orange elf boot ("Straight from the North Pole."), a vial filled with green chemicals ("I've been told this is called science juice.") a small metal bat figurine ("I have a whole collection of these. I got this one in Idiotville Oregon. Real place, not where I got the figurine."), a match, a red and blue spider ("Elgoog tells me it's a Missulena Occatoria."), and an ear that looks distinctly Yoda-like ("If Disney asks, I grew this from an ear tree."). "I swear I got all of these legally... other than the match... no, the match too. i didn't have to kill Smokey the Bear to get that one." He proceeds to place the boot onto the bat figurine, spill the chemicals into the boot, drop the spider and ear into the chemicals, light the match, and drop that in as well. "Today on Cooking with Kookoo, we're cooking Lawyer Boot Soup. When we return, our lawyer arrives. Stay tuned."
Action 3: As the commercial break concludes (Ads for "RombleRom-A-Bol," "Golden Sword Enterprises," and "Valdivian."), the "wizard" slips the rings off of his arms. He places each one in the air and leaves them there to float. Black chains link the hovering rings together, forming a hexagon. The weirdo begins an incantation. "Three digits, all the same. A force to be summoned through the laws of the Living and Dead. One by coincidence, snails to power. One by convenience, a Living law to adhere. One by choice, items to appease. Six snails, Six amendment, Six items. The powers of evil are strong, but Death has need of Life. Live being of Dead, cursed one from the Web. Un-Living Goblin of Justice and Order. Rise from your rest of Delusions and Mystery. Rise."
A film of raw energy builds in the center of the hexagon. Out of the film, pale energy begins to pour. It enters the boot, which begins to shake and rumble uncontrollably. The boot's color twists, changing from a mad orange to a sinister blue. The liquid inside also changes to the same pale of the tendril grasping from within the portal. Suddenly, the rings drop, cutting the energy from the rings. The boot boils a deep red steam, like a fiery fist rising to its prey. As it reaches up, a pale light shoots through the center, and the smoke collapses, crumbling down into its footwear cage. A loud, alien whir explodes from the boot as the liquid within ripples. It then explodes upwards in a roaring flame. As it bursts in chaos through the sky, a mind reaches out to the cloud of evil. The smoke coils about itself, squeezing being into its form. The smoke freezes into wrinkled, pale, flesh, and a being is reborn. The creature is garbed in a dark blue cloak, with red covering the inner fabric. It stands upon a newly grown version of the bat figurine, a burning steel avatar that soars at its prey. Its wicked red eyes and snake-like tongue dart about, waiting to devour. Its being is completely terrifying... except that it's only one foot tall and is wearing a dark blue diaper where its belt should be.
"Demogoblin! What happened to you man?" Okay, this will take a slight bit of explaining. Now, you could just ask the Wizard Elgoog who the Demogoblin is, but its basically this: Take Hobgoblin. Add demon. Accentuate Narcissism. Discard demon. And there you have it. That pile of demonic leftovers is the Demogoblin. (Don't describe him like that to his face. That was one bad break up, and he'd rather not talk about it.) And now we return to our regularly scheduled... comedy? action? psychopathy? Yes, definitely psychopathy. "You were average height the last time I called you! What's wrong?" The Demogoblin hisses at the weirdo. "It's not my fault. You didn't use enough power. And take the next goblin ear from a Hobgoblin instead of some idiot Disn-" "Okay! Okay! I get it." Wait wait wait. Actually, another disclaimer is required. The Demogoblin... isn't exactly a lawyer. *Gasp*. You're all extremely surprised, right? But, that's not exactly true either. You see, (and no offense is meant to the GM by this) everyone can agree that lawyers become demons, right? I mean, you really have to be heartless to play such cutthroat games while balancing the lives of real people. Being a demon is practically the top rung a lawyer can get as far as promotions go. Really, living an eternity sending people to rot in the underworld. That's gotta pay pretty well... Okay, okay, joking. The real loophole is that the demon origin of Demogoblin has zero backstory. So, insert lawyer, and its fine! No one really cares or knows much about Demogoblin anyways... And, back to the action. "I'm sorry. I'll summon you as an infant next time so you can't talk back. Anyways, what firepower do you have?" "Well, as you have made me so, I'm currently a twelve month old. You didn't put enough energy into the summon, so I'm running low on demon juice. However, I think that, if I had a small pumpkin or two, I could summon up enough fire to create bombs. Got any pumpkins on hand?" The "wizard" smiles at this notion and can't wait for next turn.
Summary (cause I got a bit carried away with the first and third actions): Summon the DEMOGOBLIN, who is a canon Spider-Man character who is definitely a lawyer. Definitely.
Requested Stats: [OG-O_R_I_G_I_N_] Demogoblin - HP: (Whatever's Reasonable), ATK: (Slightly Above Average For Charge (maybe?)), Ability: Pumpkin Bombs: This character can only attack when supplied with small (non-living) pumpkins. This character can also only possess (however many is reasonable) pumpkins at once (for balancing purposes).
You try to do that, and successfully deal 25 damage to... Trumps Wall!
Then you try to Teleport into the Empty Chimera! Sadly, the Crack is in the structure of the mask, but there isn't a hole leading into a non-sealed interior. Never mind that being literally physically hollow would be a bad idea from a design perspective...
You then try to hold the Chimera still, but the telekinesis seems to... slip off of them, The Mask tilting quizzically before they step sideways and then continue on. It's like reality is too, slippery, around them.
Entities Ordered!
you do a lap in mario cart!
then you throw a golden sword at the Chimera, which knocks it aside using its slender hand, leaving it to clatter uselessly to the ground.
Then, you summon another Waluigi! (This consumes the Elephants action this round, too, unless I've tallied up the charges wrong. one action last round, 1 IDE charge last round, two this, so another 1 this round)
WAAT. WHAAAAT IS THIS. THERE IS ONLY WAAAAN WAAALUIGI. HOW DID LUIGI MAKE ANOTHER WAAAN. Waluigi agrees with Waluigi. Waluigi does not understand how Waluigi was created by Luigi. Still, Waluigi thinks Waluigi will agree with Waluigi on one thing. With two Waluigis, it is time.
YES. WALUIGI THYME.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The Two Waluigis go off somewhere to play many Waluigi Games together because now is the thyme for that. It's all pretty ir-I mean, "very important", but also not immediately relevant to the battlefield.
The Bullets Bombard the Chimera! the repeated concussive force damages the Chimeras mask further, lowering it to Splintered condition as the crack in the Mask grows longer. And then...
You offer your body. You offer your soul. You offer yourself to the Darkness. And it stops. Eerily still. for a few moments, the blackness doesn't move at all. Then, it ripples. And begins to surround you. Shadows deeper then pitch drape the ground. What little light comes from unnatural sources seems faint and weak. And then the Darkness takes your body, and inhabits it, covering the skin like armor, and generally taking control. Then it also takes your soul.
... You are now dead! -5 soul points! You may respawn with one round of actions. I'm not sure what exactly you Expected to happen when you offered your soul to pure darkness, really. The abysslike shadows of the night will listen to your future requests seriously, though.
so, with a significant creativity bonus, that's...70 HP, 20A, and only 3 pumpkins at once.
That said, you and the Demogoblin are still inside the giant pumpkin, because it doesn't look like you ever actually... left... the pumpkin. Also, wrapping the pumpkin snails in chains and making them experience pain really doesn't help your case.
Steve has no orders! He magics himself some shielding. The Squidship keeps flying, blackness dripping from its wounds.
The Mask of Hungry Visitation tries to hold down the Empty Chimeras bones! Technically, this happened earlier, but since it's getting countered, it doesn't matter; The Empty Chimeras Dragging Arm whips around and jabs into the Masks flesh, knocking it away.
The Kittenish Pelican follows orders. The Earth Pelican is fascinated by the Chimera, though... Something about the mask seems so different from the rest of this world. They wonder... Never mind. They follow orders.
The Rock Crabs also follow orders, increasing in size by two each.
The Windmills ruins start emitting haunting noises... it's probably just the wind through the holes in it. right?
The entities in the Semielemental Plane might try what Hunger For Eggs On Toast said... if they heard it... but it'll probably take them quite some time.
The Toasterboy Is watching the toast! It's just that Toast takes time to Toast! The Stone Chicken lays an Egg!
The Bunker... Exists. As does the Pantheon. The Golden sword keeps looking. The Pigmen Idle. the IDE makes one IDMT which is used earlier. The Astral Plane Chicken looks like it just laid another egg, maybe?
the Darkness which took lyricsdusk appears to be... acclimating itself to this state. It won't act This round.
The Pumpkin snails keep making their trial exist!
One of the Assassins sees an opportunity and assassinates the One Punch Pigman.
Trump is shocked, Shocked! that his generous offer was refused! Just for that, he's going to keep building the wall he wanted built anyway, and he's going to make Hungry Visitor pay for it! With the power of his Hella Dosh and lawyers, he makes Hungry Visitor take out huge loans and pay for the Wall to be built another 55 HP! So there!
Poutine uses his one currently relevant power- the power to produce poutine anywhere- and pours poutine all over the Toast Tree! 3 pieces of Toast are Ruined! the other two are sheltered by the tree. How dare he.
The Empty Chimera finishes moving towards The Great One. Its grabs them with the Slender arm, holding them in place, and then throws them directly into the path of a slash from the Dragging arm, tearing flesh from bone and inflicting Major Wounds! The Chimera then grabs them with the Slender arm again, and smashes their face into the ground... They are now at Critical Wounds!
The Chimera glances around, and turns to Hunger For Eggs On Toast. All right, if they want to fight the Chimera, it'll let them. The Chimera will target Hunger For Eggs On Toast next round.
Battlefield.
[A-naturewriter] Terror Pants 127/200 HP (Bulletstorm, Spray and pray, machine gun, rockets, The big gun(locked on: None).). towering outside shopkeeper emporium.
method of transport. 4A.









0/3 Energy Diamonds, 0 Awakening integrity (depleted) BUFF.

has lain an egg.
.

Pumpkin Snails! 15x6 HP Pumpkin!A

pretty buff. has protected 14 Er... .
Fascination Of Beyond! Signed photo of Waluigi! Box of Thymemicrophoneamen. In. A. Pumpkin. And has Demogoblin.
[A-naturewriter] Flying Spageti monster 32/55 HP 20 A/-15 A. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...?
[OG-Acerak] Steve 43/25 HP, 0.5 Dig||Magic!A (Tunnel: 20.5/20)
[OG-Moose/Acerak] Squidship of the Meese. 6/30 HP, In constant pain, a
[OG-Shard-Shard-Hunger For Eggs on Toast] Eishalon III: Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast (75% accuracy. can hit enemies by accident. stuck to HV. Mask instarepairs. )
[ OG-srovy?] Kittenish Pelican 55 rocks, on HfEoT's head. awakened (9/9 integrity) , awake.
Earth Pelican 52 rocks, rock suit. O look the pelican. on the kitten on HfEoT's head. ( 1/8 integrity)
Rock Crabs 26 Rocks x7 (awakened materials x1)
[OG-Hunger(y) for Eggs on Toast] Windmill Ruins. they were so
Cake Collector Slime, 27 cubic meters of cake. (in semielemental plane. F o r e t e r n i t y)
Cake Thornbeast 14 Cakes, 4A, Awakened( 4/22 integrity) , (in semielemental plane. F o r e t e r n i t y)
Toast Tree, 10/10 HP, Awakened(23/23 integrity), 2 toast.(+(1d2)d2 -1 toast/r) Intolerance Defence!
Toaster 30/30 HP.
Toasterboy 20 Rocks. Has 2 Toast III
Stone chicken 51+$ Rocks. fed. processing food V. is a stone chicken. Awakened(0/26 integrity)
Bunker (surrounding Pantheon) 45 Rocks. Launcher (launches rocks.)
[OG?-Arjan] Toast Pantheon 20/20 HP, immune to mold, surrounding tree. (awakened, 25/25 integrity)
Turrets 1x4 HP 1x4A, (awakened 25/25 integrity)
[OG-TheGreatOne] Golden Sword 5/5 HP, 3/1d8: Assassinate.
Pyramid Pigmen 1x7 hp, scheme exaggeration A!x7
One Punch Pigman Dead.
Inter-Dimensional Elephant 200/200 HP, 0 IDMT(+1/R),Healthful Hygene,
Waluigi has left the premises. Waluigi Thyme!
[AG-Shard II] Eishalon II - Manifest Of Folly Some people know exactly what's going on, until they don't. the Eishalon may have been one of those... fryer, fryer, corpse on fi-er.
[OG-naturewriter] Cosmic Monolith 46/100 HP 75% dodge chance. Dark Pulse(65) Antimatter(25x3) Flash (?) 4/4 Doomsday. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...?
[OG-Bardymcbardyface] Astral Plane Chicken 150/150 HP 10A, lays eggs! Perceptive Potential. in Shopkeep shop in a Colosseum!
Egg(x1d2 to 3+1d2) 20/20 HP (fostered III, Nurtured III. Warmed IV. any new ones lack these buffs.)
[OG-SmartTJ] Pigmen 1x12 hp, horde agro, (int)(0.25x12)atk.
[OG-LyricsDusk*] Some Dosh.
[All Hallows Eve-Lyricsdusk] Darkness given Form 50/50 HP 20A, blades of abyss,lightless onslaught. Darkness Given Soul ✦✦✦✦✦ SP, and something crawled out, but a hateful mirror. Darkness with purpose. •••••. heritage of the black star and the reign of none.
[OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamond Deal with the Godmodder
[C] Nether Portal 10 HP, 11 resistance. active!
[AG] Assorted Assassins, 16x3+25 HP, 40% dodge. Poisoned: -1 HP/r! 5/1d8 : Assassinate.
[AG] Trump 50/50 HP. has hella dosh. is being payed even hella-er dosh. 4/4 for Namesake.
The Wall 150/20 HP, Guard Trump!A
Poutine, 30 HP. +8 HP/turn. Is... made of poutine? 3/3 for What Even is Poutine Anyway.
[WAAAAAAAAA] Waluigi, Pristine physical condition. Capable Celebrity Chin. WAAA worthy wonderosity. Unbelievable Uvula. Glorious Golf club. Tremendous Tennis racket. Beautiful Badminton Bombarder and Buffness. Amazing Action Abilities. Spectacularly sizeable Slacks. King-worthy kitchen of Kooking. WALUIGI HAS LEFT THIS LOCATION WITH ALL OF ITS... LUIGIS. IT IS TIME. WALUIGI THYME. AND WALUIGI THYME WAITS FOR GNOME ANN!
[AG] 100, 100% HP, item in 4%! leaving in 3! Numerology!A, 2,004 total HP! In stasis due to seasonal event!
[All Hallows Eve] Empty Chimera. Slender Arm- Pristine. Dragging arm- Pristine. Claws-
Razor Sharp. Shadow Tendril- Dripping. Legs- Duo. Mask- Splintered porcelain-
white. ???, ???, ???.
[GM] Godmodder: 272 /300 HP 1/4 dimensionality, has rock snake (corpse?). Maintaining Empty Chimera. currently immune to attack.
Hunger For Eggs On Toast: Founder, 66% skill. Owns a Unique 'Magic Factory', Needs stuff he doesn't have. like FLEX TAP? woodworking skill which is not the same thing as cutting down trees: sufficient+. 1C.AC. Stuck to Mask of Hungresitation. Rock Mask, 90 rocks,23 cakes , Gathering Pickaxe FAICE!, Stone Rose, Is a fusion of Hungry Visitor and Srovy (6 actions! Actions must be self-consistent! Potential power boost. or not. more resistant to attack!) Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6 / 2), depleted. on battlefield. has several voidshards (~5). Completely untrustworthy. Ridiculous Wounds. Mediocre Wounds.
Aeisenberg: with Phil swift, but not in the update room! rapier (minor attack buff)... +1?, Favour of the Deva, Coronal Relic (cyan), Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6), Probably Not a Martian.
OrcalordBeyond: On battlefield, is a god which is possessing an air elemental which has turned into a offbrand flex sealed old yellow fire-breath animal and is flying. in Paradox Tennis (If an update passes between their post and the next P.tennis one, they can post in the main dop too.)
Dracoflamer: on battlefield, probably(?)! deserves to be remembered forever. f'real. Cannot exhaust or over-strain muscles.
ADrunkenDwarf: hand cut! Large Voidshard- sharp. 4 unknown objects(radiating bits of magic every so often), 6 practical joke implements. Yellow Eishalon Mask (5.7) - Storms Squire II, Thunder Twitches I, 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠 𝔇ominance VI (Draconic Dominance.).
SirNatureWriter: just check their sector. shiny, !shiny! scrap metal, 2070ish? bottles of Restricted Godmodder energy. isn't currently being a shopkeeper. Book from the Globglogabgalab's set (Animated).
Acerak the Eternal.
<Garfield the Tabaxi: Reviled by Globglogabgalab!
slightly wounded. guardian spirits, summoning mount, shielded, 1 charge stored. Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Pong-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Thumb War-Monopoly-Tennis is a sane game for sane people?!>BardymcBardface: light wounds! historianism III! 2 charges! in weird lobby!
O_R_I_G_I_N: Light Wounds.
The Great One: Critical Wounds!
LyricsDusk: Dead. 6 Soul Points. Tenebrous Leverage.
I take the egg and cast duplication on it, which ignores basic laws of math by turning 1 egg = 1egg into 1 egg = 2 eggs.
Then I put the eggs on the toast and eat the [eggs on toast].
A flash of light brightens the world.
My my.... I feel... look... am... will be... eternally ... incredible.
I take the terribly from
and put it to my strongness, making me terribly terribly strong
I walk towards the empty chimera. My fists blur, the masks tentacles blur, hitting hard and fast. I snap and The Other Hungry Visitor appears for a visit, a giant maw.
Using all power I punch the empty chimera towards the maw and the maw comes forward. As it closes, it returns into another dimension... which should imprison the empty chimera somewhere extradimensional with lots of teeth around it, eternally chewing.
Entities collect rocks!
Action 1: "You know, from a theoretical standpoint, the laws binded them in those chains, not me. Tell them Demogoblin." The goblin grunts. "See! He agrees! I think... Anyways, now to cover that pumpkin problem." The "wizard" pulls a sword sized carving knife out of his sleeve. He then begins to spin, which is extremely inadvisable. And now, a safety warning from the Children Are Never Trusted Initiative, or the CANT Initiate: Are you a kid? Well, if you are, don't play with knives. Are you still in elementary school? If you are, don't play with knives. Are you a teenager who thinks you are so cool? If so, don't play with knives. Are you sixty years old, balding, divorced, working a dead end job at McDonalds, and finding your exclusive source of affection in your chihuahua? Really, you shouldn't play with knives. This concludes today's message. Remember kids, don't play with knives. Or forks. Or even spoons. That stuff is what adults are for. Have a great NEVER ENDING, TORTUROUS, POINTLESS, UNEVENTFUL, SOUL SUCKING Life. Back to the action, the weirdo spins around with a knife in one hand, chopping chunks of pumpkin from the walls of his prison. The Demogoblin is suddenly thankful for being so short as the weirdo's cuts land just above him. As the pieces of pumpkin begin to dislodge from the wall, the weirdo's other hand slips into his sleeve and pulls out an empty can of pumpkin pie filling. He finesses the can so that it catches the pumpkin guts, sending them falling into The MARVELOUS PUMPKIN PIE FACTORY. Why does he have this portal? Well, he usually just donates a pumpkin a year for a free magazine subscription to Aristotle's Kitchen. However, they gladly accept donations. Anyways, he continues to cut into the giant pumpkin until... it looks like a very nice apartment made of pumpkin. The room has a pumpkin couch, pumpkin TV, pumpkin clock, pumpkin table, pumpkin oven, pumpkin cabinets filled with pumpkin bowls and cutlery, pumpkin window to nowhere, pumpkin bed, pumpkin blankets, pumpkin light bulbs, and, of course, a pumpkin bathroom, with pumpkin toilet, pumpkin sink, pumpkin shower, pumpkin mirror (don't ask how that actually works), and pumpkin toilet paper. The Demogoblin rises a few inches from his cowering and asks, "What is this?" "Well, you see, this whole pumpkin thing got me thinking," Thinking is never a good sign. Be afraid. Very afraid. "and there's no point in me leaving here. My magic still works. I'm safe. The Empty Chimera can't really get me. Poutine can't kill me. The Pumpkin Snails are using all of their energy just to keep this pumpkin going for crying out loud! This pumpkin is like a bubble of peace to let me do what I want to. I've got a convoluted plan or two in the works, so I figured I'd set up shop for a round or two and tinker with things." The Demogoblin is not satisfied by this response. "Then why did you summon me?" "Because I figure the snails will stop the trial when they figure out my plan, so I wanted help sooner rather than later." The Demogoblin grunts and sits down on the pumpkin couch. "See, it's a good plan. Now then..."
Action 2: The "wizard" heads over to the pumpkin table and takes out the "nice, big, dollop of Poutine" he got three turns ago. He dumps the poutine onto the table and methodically pulls each and every french fry out of the gravy and cheese curds. He then takes these and throws them in the pumpkin oven and lets them cook at 400 degrees for a few minutes. Surprisingly, after that time passes, the fries are actually cooked, having most of the gravy evaporated off so that the fries are nice and crisp again. Next, he takes his pumpkin hammer (it was a big pumpkin) and smashes the fries into a potatoy mush. He throws this into one of his pumpkin bowls and (using surprisingly non-pumpkin ingredients) dumps in some cooking oil into the bowl, cracks a few eggs in, pours in some flour, sprinkle on some salt, and spills in some water. He mixes these ingredients by hand until he has a nice Potato Dough, which he bags and throws up his sleeves for later. "Wow. I did all of that without making a Cooking with Kookoo joke. My ratings must be dropping."
Action 3: The weirdo turns to the remaining poutine ingredients. He takes the cheese curds and crushes them, sprinkling the cheese dust into the gravy. He then takes the gravy and adds in some sugar. He then stirs. And stirs. And stirs. And, poof, he somehow made a gravy and cheese icing. Yum. He bags this as well and throws it into his other sleeve. The Demogoblin gets bored and groans. "Are you just going to make food while we rot here?" "No, next I'm going to get a plant to grow in here so that we can get more oxygen, then meditate, maybe watch some TV, manufacture a lightsaber, create a philosopher's stone, ponder that stupid white mask, and do some other stuff. This'll be great fun." The goblin groans and starts to take a nap on the couch. "Don't worry baby Demogoblin, I'll get bored in here after another five rounds."
ACTION 1-3 (Respawn): The earth begins shaking as cracks start to appear in the ground. The cracks grow larger, and wider, until it's split into a gigantic fissure. Then, with a whirr, a iron platform rises out of the newly-formed fissure...
With a mechanical robot copy of LyricsDusk lying on top, eyes closed.
A wire pops out of the platform and into the robot clone, and the platform begins to glow brightly. The glow shines blindingly, more and more, and all of a sudden dies down with a long whirr. A eternity passes. Then, slowly, the robot clone opens its eyes. A new soul shines from its body, a copy of LyricsDusk's soul gently glimmering in the night.
SOUL BACKUP COMPLETE!
If possible, I would like the Darkness to strike at the Empty Chimera.
I get a bit of magic time dust and slow the time relative to other dimensions in this dimension. This should help with the timely return of my entities.
I awaken Toasterboy and the Bunker.
Action 1: I need to heal up. I look around for something that could heal me, then I remember something...
I cast Gate to make a portal to the place in the Nether where I found the TNT. I eat some golden apples to regain my health, then equip the armour and pick up the sword.
Action 2: I devour as much Poutine as possible.
Action 3: I distract the assassins to try to create an opportunity for the animated sword to assassinate them.
Orders: All entities capable of eating, eat poutine! Sword, assassinate assassins!
I meditate upon the forbidden name of Joseph, pondering the infinite mysteries of his identity.
Joe 11/50.
Order for Steve: keep defending the ship, and make some repairs, if possible.
Walton Gibson - Human Cleric, Level 1
You Eggs on Toast! This gives you a notable power boost which requires you to constantly be eating Eggs on Toast to maintain it.
Then you make yourself physically more Buff!
Then you attack the Empty Chimera, tossing it into another dimension and replacing the Pristine condition of the Slender arm with Blemished!
You turn the inside of the pumpkin into an (pumpkin) apartment building, cook some potato dough, and make some gravy and cheese icing. The Trial seems to not know how to respond to that... At least, the pumpkin sticks around.
You respawn! The Darkness can't target the Chimera because it's in another dimension, but it also notes that is one of the requests that it is less inclined to grant.
You try to do that!...your magic time dust explodes into pretty fireworks.
Awakenings granted, and boosted due to your For Eggs On Toast state!
You manage to heal yourself to Serious Wounds!
You try to eat Poutine, but due to your wounds do not accomplish much. 10 damage to Poutine!
You grant the Animated sword a -2 to the roll for chargeup time!
You keep meditating. Through your connection to he who must not be inquired of names, you know there is an Errant sect of him-worshipers who wish to know his name; he wishes to excommunicate them without them realising they have been excommunicated, and requires your devotion to this task. He also bids you to remember that "Assassination is the art of killing the target while remaining undetected", though how that relates is unclear.

Steve does his best to repair the ship, but despite his magical capabilities, it's mostly a lost call. he only manages to heal it 6 HP, and it soon bleeds out just as much.
The Mask idles because it already helped HV dimension thing.
the Kittenish Pelican gathers rocks. So does the Earth pelican, shaking its head for some reason. and the crabs.
A deep growing blows across the wind, a creaking from something best left forgotten.
The tree is a tree, the toaster a toaster, the boy a boy, etc.
The Golden Sword spots an opportunity, and swoops down, neatly decapitating the healthiest assassin!
The Inter-dimensional Elephant eats some poutine. The only place I have seen mention elephants and poutine together so far is some resteraunt or maybe hotel with decent reviews, so I'm going to assume Elephants can in fact digest poutine. It doesn't do too much damage, though, since most of the investment was into its IDMT.
The Astral Chicken Fosters its eggs.
The Darkness That No Longer Sings steps forwards. Its form, physical, is strangely still, a new being which does not truly live, that does not move like something Alive. But five points of blackness are suddenly There around it, not Moved, but noticeable in a way their appearance as minuscule points does not suggest. A crackle of blackness, like a bolt of lightning that Isn't on a level far beyond all else, a bolt that isn't just Absent, but inverted on a metaphysical level, flickers through them, and from points they blossom into full stars of nothing. Not black holes, no. These points simply Shine with blackness, like some strange anti-photon. And then there's some indeterminable change, and there's
(The air shimmers like a hot summer day)
The Pumpkin Snails seem to be conferring among themselves... of course, they maintain the trial for now.
One assassin spots an opportunity themselves, and stabs the Toasterboy. Even with its new awakening, they deal significant damage- 7 rocks, specifically.
Trump decides not to take "No and I will literally try to eat you right now with my reality warping powers" for an answer, and hires extremely high-level Ninjas to sneak into Hungry Visitors Base and steal Awakened objects! Now, as it turns out, the highest-level ninja is Not the stealthiest ninja. You see, Ninjas work on, among other things, Assassination. Assassination is the art of killing a target while remaining unobserved. So, as long as nobody lives to tell about it, it is technically an assassination. These ninjas love technicalities. As it turns out, they're actually very buff wizards. This helps them with carrying the rocks, and also, they bribe everyone who considers reporting them. Each rock crab now has 10 dollars making up part of their body, but the Awakened materials one is stolen and this is not at all related to my not being sure how to actually deal with that as a mechanic.
(the ground near the shimmer starts to crack, and warp.)
Poutine uses his ultimate power! Raising a mostly-indistinguishable bit of his bloby body towards the sky, he uses the legendary ability of "What even is Poutine, Anyway.". Legends say not even the gods could predict the effect of his power, and poutine himself was almost giddy with anticipation. What sort of havoc could he unleash with this power? Oh, they would Rue the day they claimed his legendary body was not worth at least ten percent more then, what, a biscuit? Honestly! And so a thread of Godmodding reaches into conceptspace, searching, searching, and searching. Poutine. What is, no really, what does it mean, for real though? and it finds... This.
(the shimmer intensifies, and brightens.)
Poutine immediately finds his body transforming into a pile of fries mixed with gravy and cheese. This has four effects.
One, Poutine no longer has access to "What even is Poutine, Anyway.".
Two, Poutine gains a more solid form, which quadruples his health and halves his regeneration. because fries.
Three, Poutine gains a new special, "What's Gravy even Made of?", which will allow for him to further evolve his knowledge of his own physical structure, and he can't wait. but he will, because it will need 4 rounds to charge.
Four, Poutine gains access to the new cheese strat, which of course everyone hates. except noobs. Since Poutine is made of cheese, he has to use the cheese strat, so he either hates himself, or he's a noob. Anyway, the cheese strat is this: Instead of fighting right in front of everyone in their faces, people who have powers like "can make poutine anywhere", use these powers from advantagous vantage positions where they are better defended.
Or to translate, Poutine is now hiding behind Trumps Wall.
the shimmer turns a deep red. And then a Claw comes through reality.
So sharp they sunder reality itself, the Claws that are beyond the ken of men tear through it, It's not quite like a flap of paper in the wind. That would imply a sort of two-dimentionality to it. No, Reality is three dimensional. A torn sheet flaps in the third dimension. fading in and out of its own. So this three-dimensional tear, illuminated by a sanguine pal, Flaps <Sideways> and <back> in dimensions you all can't quite perceive. a howling abyss leading not nowhere, but into the bite place of Hungery Visitar. and the Tear widens, and the Empty Chimera crawls out, and decides not to say who it's targeting next round, but crouches low in preparation, leaving the tear behind it.
(Later, the astral plane Chicken walks by, and the tear quietly stops existing.)
Battlefield.
[A-naturewriter] Terror Pants 127/200 HP (Bulletstorm, Spray and pray, machine gun, rockets, The big gun(locked on: None).). towering outside shopkeeper emporium.
method of transport. 4A.









0/3 Energy Diamonds, 0 Awakening integrity (depleted) BUFF.


.

Pumpkin Snails! 15x6 HP Pumpkin!A

pretty buff. has protected 14 Er... .
Fascination Of Beyond! Signed photo of Waluigi! Box of Thymemicrophoneamen. In. A. Pumpkin. And has Demogoblin.
[A-naturewriter] Flying Spageti monster 32/55 HP 20 A/-15 A. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...?
[OG-Acerak] Steve 43/25 HP, 0.5 Dig||Magic!A (Tunnel: 20.5/20)
[OG-Moose/Acerak] Squidship of the Meese. 6/30 HP, In constant pain, a
[OG-Shard-Shard-Hunger For Eggs on Toast] Eishalon III: Mask of Hungry Visitation for Eggs on Toast (75% accuracy. can hit enemies by accident. stuck to HV. Mask instarepairs. )
[ OG-srovy?] Kittenish Pelican 61 rocks, on HfEoT's head. awakened (9/9 integrity) , awake.
Earth Pelican 58 rocks, rock suit. O look the pelican. on the kitten on HfEoT's head. ( 1/8 integrity)
Rock Crabs 28 Rocks x6
[OG-Hunger(y) for Eggs on Toast] Windmill Ruins. they were so
Toast Tree, 10/10 HP, Awakened(23/23 integrity), 1 toast.(+(1d2)d2 -1 toast/r) Intolerance Defence!
Toaster 30/30 HP. Toasting Toast I
Toasterboy 13 Rocks. Awakened (0/30 integrity)
Stone chicken 43+!@ Rocks. fed. processing food V. is a stone chicken. Awakened(0/26 integrity)
Bunker (surrounding Pantheon) 45 Rocks. Launcher (launches rocks.) Awakened(30/30 integrity)
[OG?-Arjan] Toast Pantheon 20/20 HP, immune to mold, surrounding tree. (awakened, 25/25 integrity)
Turrets 1x4 HP 1x4A, (awakened 25/25 integrity)
[OG-TheGreatOne] Golden Sword 5/5 HP, 0/1d8: Assassinate.
Pyramid Pigmen 1x7 hp, scheme exaggeration A!x7
Inter-Dimensional Elephant 200/200 HP, 1 IDMT(+1/R),Healthful Hygene,
Waluigi has left the premises. Waluigi Thyme!
[AG-Shard II] Eishalon II - Manifest Of Folly Some people know exactly what's going on, until they don't. the Eishalon may have been one of those... fryer, fryer, corpse on fi-er.
[OG-naturewriter] Cosmic Monolith 46/100 HP 75% dodge chance. Dark Pulse(65) Antimatter(25x3) Flash (?) 4/4 Doomsday. in shopkeeper emporium to fight the Displacer...?
[OG-Bardymcbardyface] Astral Plane Chicken 150/150 HP 10A, lays eggs! Perceptive Potential. in Shopkeep shop in a Colosseum!
Egg(x1d2 to 3+1d2) 20/20 HP (fostered III, Nurtured III. Warmed IV. any new ones lack these buffs but all have +1 fostered)
[OG-SmartTJ] Pigmen 1x12 hp, horde agro, (int)(0.25x12)atk.
[OG-LyricsDusk*] Some Dosh.
[All Hallows Eve-Lyricsdusk] Darkness given Form 50/50 HP 20A, blades of abyss,lightless onslaught. Darkness Given Soul ✦✦✦✦✦ SP, and something crawled out, but a hateful mirror. Darkness with purpose. •••••. heritage of the black star and the reign of none.
[OG] faithful Dog 200/100HP -33 to incoming damage! Solid diamond Deal with the Godmodder
[C] Nether Portal 10 HP, 11 resistance. active!
[AG] Assorted Assassins, 15x3 HP, 40% dodge. Poisoned: -1 HP/r! 5/1d8 : Assassinate.
[AG] Trump 50/50 HP. has hella dosh. is being payed even hella-er dosh. has 28 Awakened rocks. 4/4 for Namesake.
The Wall 150/20 HP, Guard Trump...and Poutine!!!!!A
Poutine, 64 HP. +4 HP/turn. Is made of fries, cheese, and gravy. 0/4 What's Gravy even made of?.
[WAAAAAAAAA] Waluigi, Pristine physical condition. Capable Celebrity Chin. WAAA worthy wonderosity. Unbelievable Uvula. Glorious Golf club. Tremendous Tennis racket. Beautiful Badminton Bombarder and Buffness. Amazing Action Abilities. Spectacularly sizeable Slacks. King-worthy kitchen of Kooking. WALUIGI HAS LEFT THIS LOCATION WITH ALL OF ITS... LUIGIS. IT IS TIME. WALUIGI THYME. AND WALUIGI THYME WAITS FOR GNOME ANN!
[AG] 100, 100% HP, item in 4%! leaving in 3! Numerology!A, 2,004 total HP! In stasis due to seasonal event!
[All Hallows Eve] Empty Chimera. Slender Arm- Blemished. Dragging arm- Pristine. Claws-
Razor Sharp. Shadow Tendril- Dripping. Legs- Duo. Mask- Splintered porcelain-
white. ???, ???, ???.
[GM] Godmodder: 272 /300 HP 1/4 dimensionality, has rock snake (corpse?). Maintaining Empty Chimera. currently immune to attack.
Hunger For Eggs On Toast: Founder, 66% skill. Owns a Unique 'Magic Factory', Needs stuff he doesn't have. like FLEX TAP? woodworking skill which is not the same thing as cutting down trees: sufficient+. 1C.AC. Stuck to Mask of Hungresitation. Rock Mask, 90 rocks,23 cakes , Gathering Pickaxe FAICE!, Stone Rose, Is a fusion of Hungry Visitor and Srovy (6 actions! Actions must be self-consistent! Potential power boost. or not. more resistant to attack!) Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6 / 2), depleted. on battlefield. has several voidshards (~5). Completely untrustworthy. Ridiculous Wounds. Moderate Wounds.
Aeisenberg: with Phil swift, but not in the update room! rapier (minor attack buff)... +1?, Favour of the Deva, Coronal Relic (cyan), Awakened by HV (Tier 0.6), Probably Not a Martian.
OrcalordBeyond: On battlefield, is a god which is possessing an air elemental which has turned into a offbrand flex sealed old yellow fire-breath animal and is flying. in Paradox Tennis (If an update passes between their post and the next P.tennis one, they can post in the main dop too.)
Dracoflamer: on battlefield, probably(?)! deserves to be remembered forever. f'real. Cannot exhaust or over-strain muscles.
ADrunkenDwarf: hand cut! Large Voidshard- sharp. 4 unknown objects(radiating bits of magic every so often), 6 practical joke implements. Yellow Eishalon Mask (5.7) - Storms Squire II, Thunder Twitches I, 𝔇𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔦𝔠 𝔇ominance VI (Draconic Dominance.).
SirNatureWriter: just check their sector. shiny, !shiny! scrap metal, 2070ish? bottles of Restricted Godmodder energy. isn't currently being a shopkeeper. Book from the Globglogabgalab's set (Animated).
Acerak the Eternal.
<Garfield the Tabaxi: Reviled by Globglogabgalab!
slightly wounded. guardian spirits, summoning mount, shielded, 1 charge stored. Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Pong-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Thumb War-Monopoly-Tennis is a sane game for sane people?!>BardymcBardface: light wounds! historianism III! 2 charges! in weird lobby!
O_R_I_G_I_N: Light Wounds.
The Great One: Serious Wounds.
LyricsDusk: In Good Health. 6 Soul Points. Tenebrous Leverage.
ENTITY ACTIONS: I command the Darkness to cut up Poutine.
ACTION 1: With my knowledge of the Wall's exact makeup (due to it being my entity that transformed), I shoot an explosive arrow at each of the weak points in its mortar. Then, I press the detonation button, and the mortar explodes, leaving the Wall crumbling and unsteady.
ACTION (Charge) 2: The bicyclic lifeform in stasis tumbles out of stasis, with its bicyclic legs unfolding tyres and its tyre head manifesting one eye.
Bicyclops: 8/10
Huh, slice dimensions... that sounds useful. I am gonna take that.
I summon a 2-way portal. One of them is next to me, the other one cuts off the claw from the arm. I grab the claw out of the portal next to me and slice open a pathway to the semiplane of cakes.
I could get used to this. Entities collect rocks. Toasterboy watches the toast, Mask helps defend my base against potential attackers.
I create the Rock overseer, which is supposed to oversee my entities to ensure they stay loyal.
The orisons to Joseph grow in intensity, with fire and brimstone falling from a 3' squared area in the sky. It isn't really very much, but it's a sign.
("O almighty Joseph, he who is not to be named, your wish is my command! Tell me more of these heretical blasphemers, so I may erase them from the face of reality!")
Joe ritual: 14/50
Skeltal order: put some Neosporin in the ship's wounds, and try and halt the bleeding.
Walton Gibson - Human Cleric, Level 1