Actions 1 and 2: Crafting. I am now one with crafting. Crafting is one with me. I pull out my Crafting Spirit (thisisnotajojoreference) and send it to the battlefield. It takes my Crafting Affinity (but that's okay because I don't need it right now anyway) and one of my actions per turn with it (I get them back when it's defeated). It is AG, but not Aiding the Godmodder. It's simply Anti-Godmodder, and as an AG it is protected from the snow de-buff.
Crafting Spirit Action: To anyone else, the Trash Machine might seem like a pile of trash, and a horrible one at that. But the Crafting Spirit knows better. It can turn this trash into art. It uses its pure crafting skills to move through the snow and rearrange specific pieces of trash in order to make the Trash Machine look nicer. This machine is trash no more.
-I suppose I also don't know how common such a misjudgement is. Maybe Sky was basically expecting the ARG's Overall level of effectiveness and the only reason the sequence-break was a surprise was him not realising it was even possible from what was out there.
1 - ecneserP ehT works its way out of a pair of handcuffs.
1 - ecneserP ehT works its way out of a pair of handcuffs.
1 - ecneserP ehT works its way out of a pair of handcuffs.
1 - ecneserP ehT works its way out of a pair of handcuffs.
1 - ecneserP ehT works its way out of a pair of handcuffs.
1 - ecneserP ehT works its way out of a pair of handcuffs.
1 - ecneserP ehT works its way out of a pair of handcuffs.
1 - ecneserP ehT works its way out of a pair of handcuffs.
10 - Using any spare action power it had from getting out of those handcuffs, it lifts all the snow off of the Huge Laser Cannon and then beats it to a pulp. Is "it" the snow, or the Laser Cannon? The answer is YES.
ecneserP ehT regenerates. The Cat regenerates. ecneserP ehT attacks the Huge Laser Cannon. If there's any extra attack power, it clears some snow off of Eulogo Samint.
A1: I glare daggers at the Ice Elemental. It is now wielding a bunch of daggers I have stabbed into it. It may be overdone, but we're overdoing it.
A2: IT SEEMS THERE'S BEEN A MOTH SHORTAGE! I WILL COMPENSATE BY USING THE NONEXISTENT BONES OF DEATH TO MEAT, WHICH ATTRACTS BONE-MOTHS FROM THE FORGOTTEN REALMS.
A3: I send Mega-Psychic Missile From Ace Attorney Turnabout Goodbyes to dog therapy so they can recover from things in time to provide reasonably understandable dog testimony at trial.
-
The F performs triage and leads those available in repairing the Which House walls in the aftermath of the snow problem. Other entities act at discretion.
It has only been one turn and my Crafting Spirit is already almost dead. Good thing it isn't yet!
Crafting Spirit Action: The Crafting Spirit takes a good look at the snow it's covered in. Snow is a great crafting material! It can be used to make anything! Snowballs, Igloos and even... Black Holes! The Crafting Spirit takes as much snow as it can and compresses it so much it turns into a Black Hole. This will most definitely destroy the Crafting Spirit, but it will do anything for art. As a famous philosopher once said: "Diamonds are forever." And the Crafting Spirit isn't a diamond, so... yeah...
Actions 1 and 2 + Bass-Boosted Jetpack: I fly towards the village, the one next to the giant tooth-filled pit, and ask if anyone has a monster that needs punching.
So things like the Garfield 2401 ARG where I sequence-broke it and also everything else everyone else did which I personally find less memorable for obvious reasons, but also the courtroom thing, or, like, that one technoblade stream with the donations for TNT.
A1 + A2: I repair the Which House by using a bunch of the stored-up blood to make solidified, reinforced blood swords like the EBF Blood Blade and then using the blood blades to replace missing structural elements. It's like one of those sword tower thingies, it worked in Japan once.
A3: The etrahedral one's stat block says it is a bridge, so we use it to bridge one of the really big holes in the battlefield or something.
-
The F uses Ordinary Object Conjuration to spawn a bunch of diamonds near the Crafting Spirit so they can...I don't know, disguise themselves as diamond ore using armor or something. Go pick 'em up and find out.
Other entities and leftover actions help me with making the Which House into an even edgier cult headquarters, now with blood blade decor.
I teleport into wherever the court case is taking place, since it seems there isn't an actual courthouse.
I begin by presenting The Adventures of John Phoenix and its sequel, demonstrating that psychic powers exist in the universe of John Phoenix, which many entities are currently from or influenced by. Due to the large number of potential psychics, the presence of psychic powers does not point to anyone in particular.
I also point out that the autopsy report was unable to determine a cause of death, and so there is no proof whatsoever that John Dead was killed with psychic powers.
I then ask the other players on the defense team to fill in for me and present evidence while I use all three of my actions to harvest snow off of Kumar and company and put it in a compressor which I brought with me.
Crafting Spirit Action: Oh, no, these cannons won't do at all. They're to stiff and... ugly. It's surprised by the fact that they even hit something in the first place. The Spirit enters the Small Laser Cannon and disassembles it, and reassembles it almost immediately after. It actually works now! And is opposing the Godmodder, because he has no respect for art.
Action 2 + Light Staff: I absorb mana from the surrounding area since nobody is using it.
Action 3 + Light Staff: I use said mana to create a Super-Soaker Turret. This is a fire-based dimension so anything living here should be weak to water. Definitely.
10 - ecneserP ehT grabs a nearby carrot and integrates it into itself. For some reason this causes it to double in size, healing a significant amount of HP.
Kumar Timalsina sneered evilly atarhalindur. "Yes, there are Psychic Powers in the universe of John Phoenix, but psychic powers are not at all common there! And even if everyone connected to 'John Phoenix' was a suspect, that would only allow for it to be Mega-Psychic Missile From Ace Attorney Turnabout Goodbyes, John Dead himself, Natan, Irfran, Eulogo, Terifa or Me! however, Natan, Irfran, Eulogo, Terifa and I all have an alibi! we were attending Eulogos eulogy for the Evil Terrorist Farmers. So you see, we know Mega-Psychic Missile From Ace Attorney Turnabout Goodbyes must have been involved." "And you'd think there's no proof, wouldn't you? But take that!" he presented Evidence with a sinister smirk. "This Evidence is what killed John Dead! But there are no fingerprints on it... As you would expect if it was used by someone with psychic powers!" He then presented the Psychics Report again. "Besides, the traces of psychic activity around his body show that if he wasn't killed with Psychic Powers directly, there were definitely Psychic Powers involved! heheh... Tarhalindur, was it? You're clearly no match for Me, the next Dhurke of Khurain!" Superficially, it seemed like a reasonable argument, but arhalindur replies: "Your alibi does not hold water. Psychic powers can be performed at any time regardless of one's physical actions; John Phoenix, at one point, was able to use psychic powers while participating in a mech battle. Range is also not a concern, as said use of psychic powers took effect in an entirely different country. Furthermore, do the lack of fingerprints really imply that? I present to you: The gloves of A Man With A Hat. By merely putting on these gloves, you - or indeed anyone - could operate the Evidence without leaving any fingerprints whatsoever. And, incidentially, I noticed you didn't mention him. He seems to still be alive, so what was he doing? Was he, perhaps, killing someone?" Taken aback by this argument, Kumar crawled around on the sides of the courtroom like a centipede shrieking and crying for daddy, but Edgeworth was not present (or brainwashed). "Gaaaah! How do you know so much about- No, No! Your argument makes sense, but I still don't have psychic powers! Besides, I'm not John Phoenix- why would you think I would be capable of multitasking like him?" he paused and collects himself. "In fact, if you know so much about John Phoenix, you should already know that I don't have psychic powers! If I did, I wouldn't have needed to be physically present to wear a hat while shooting a bird from a car! I could've just used psychic powers to do it, while having a real alibi!" Kumar sipped some tea, then continued, "You're right that A Man With A Hat wasn't at the eulogy, but that's because I, the then Man With A Hat, wasn't wearing a hat at the time- It would've been disrespectful at a eulogy! The current A Man With A Hat is actually Terifa, who picked up the Hat after I took it off this round." Before the argument can continue, ecneserP ehT arrives... convulses... laughs... and shifts. It appears to be changing, taking on a strange new form. When it finally settles, it has taken the form of Kumar Timalsina. But this Kumar Timalsina is infused with a very strange power, down to the core... an element of Perfection. It's not perfection and in fact it is very annoying, but it will be good enough to operate in the courtroom. "Your Honor, I have critical evidence to present to the court involving its own involvement, or rather lack thereof, in the death of John Dead. You see, I can't actually kill anyone. As the Godmodder informed Kumar, I am composed of several extant (and non-extant, though that's not important) personalities, including those of Sky High, Leader, the Huge Laser Cannon, and, supposedly, John Dead. So, even if I did kill John Dead, which I didn't, he wouldn't actually be dead, just separated from his body. Except, there's another problem. You see, every single person or thing that has been integrated into myself has been consumed entirely. Sky High and Leader were absorbed into me along with their bodies, Kumar was absorbed into me along with his body, the Huge Laser Cannon was absorbed into me along with its body, etc. So, riddle me this: Why would John Dead leave behind his body, if I "killed" him?" "I... uh... I don't know." said Kumar Timalsina. "I don't know enough about the metaphysics of this stuff. Why do the bodies you kill disappear, anyway?" "Simple!", replied the false Timalsina. "I don't actually kill them. They become a part of my physical form. And there's no way for me to separate mind from body, either. If there was, anyway, I wouldn't do it. What would I stand to gain?" Godmodder: Kumar doesn't know enough about Raksha to explain what's going on, so I'll step in. Godmodder: John Dead was made of two bits, John summoned by the John F Kennedy Memorial Album, and the remnants of the John Phoenix Wight Raksha, a loose connection of narrative tendencies. Most of the power, and what ecneserP ehT would've probably absorbed, was the remnants of the Raksha- In other words, the corpse was left behind because it was, in fact, actually a skin suit. "Y-Y-Yes! That must be it!" said Kumar, clearly with no idea what he was talking about.
!Kumar snorts. Kumar Timalsina sure was an idiot, not to mention a [redacted]. To think he would accept such a simple explanation. !Kumar, on the other hand, could clearly see all the flaws in this explanation with his NASA Supercomputer of a brain. It would take a much better explanation to convince !Kumar of anything, nevermind something that !Kumar knew was definitely false. After all, !Kumar would never have killed someone in a way that would leave evidence. especially non-corrupted evidence. That was just stupid, the sort of thing Kumar Timalsina would do, like the idiot Kumar Timalsina was. "Even if most of the power of John Dead was from a Raksha, that doesn't mean none of it was from the body. If I had killed John Dead, while maybe I would have been able to leave behind the body given what you said, there would be no reason to do so. Not to mention that John Deads body was clearly killed, not just its Raksha self- otherwise John Dead would've still been alive!"
Off-balance, Kumar replied, "W-Well... Uh... That's why I said it wasn't just you! If both you and Mega-Psychic Missile From Ace Attorney Turnabout Goodbyes were involved, who knows what kind of twisted goals such criminal minds would've thought up? Maybe Mega-Psychic Missile From Ace Attorney Turnabout Goodbyes wanted John Deads corpse intact, for some reason!" , but swiftly came the rejoinder; "I don't deny that the Mega-Psychic Missile is likely responsible for the death of John Dead. But do you really think I would work with the Mega-Psychic Missile when I could just consume it?" Kumar Timalsina presented the Autopsy Report. "traces of poisonous powder were found on the body! Specifically, the same powder used in the poisonous tower! The poisonous tower had been demolished by this point, and there were no traces- a very odd mystery, until you explained your absorption capabilities! You where the one to destroy the poisonous tower, and that means you absorbed its poison! How would the powder have gotten on John Dead if you weren't there?" "Just before the death of John Dead, I attempted to escape the arena by punching a hole in the firmament. I failed to account for the Klipot Flooding, and was thereby blasted by the water, which then proceeded to wash over everything shortly before turning to ice. In that time I wouldn't be surprised if the water blasted away a chunk of this poison powder and washed it over the entire arena! Indeed, if we check that hat of yours -" (ecneserP ehT held up the stolen hat of the Man With A Hat) "- I suspect we'll find traces of the powder on that as well! And, if you think this may have been the real murder weapon, think again! Everyone knows that even the fastest-acting poison does not cause instant death!" Immediately, Kumar Timalsina hissed and yanked his hat back. "Give me that!" "Oh dear, you seem very unwilling to have your hat admitted into evidence. Is there something you're not telling us?" Eyes red with anger, Kumar growled "How dare you! This hat is the only thing I have left of my father, Wilt Wally! Of course I'm protective of it, you, you-" He visibly restrained himself, veins bulging all over his chin. Which I'm pretty sure isn't healthy. "Ahem Anyway, there's no poisonous powder on my hat. shows what you knew, huh?" he smirked. "Besides which, of course I don't think the poison was the murder weapon. The Court Record is very clear that Evidence is what killed John Dead, not the poisonous powder." arhalindur then spoke up. "To continue my point, you are not the only possible suspect, Timalsina. There are several other people who work with you and who did not shoot a bird while disguised. And who are not, themselves, disguises." Kumar sputtered angrily in response "And- You- But- B- Cough" After coughing for a few seconds, he calmed down a bit. "I suppose that theoretically Natan, Irfran and the others could have had psychic powers, but isn't it much more likely for the psychic who killed John Dead to be someone who we know has psychic powers, not someone who might, maybe, possibly have psychic powers?" He then rummaged around in his pocket a bit and pulled out the Evidence. "Besides! Where in the world would any of us have gotten an Evidence like this, h-huh? You think they sell this kind of thing in stores?" "Stealing it? If you have psychic powers it's not terribly difficult." replied arhalindur, to which Kumar shook his head with a smug smirk. "Of course, if I knew where to get an Evidence, and if I had psychic powers, I could've stolen one. But I'd need to know where to steal it from first. This Evidence is a very unique weapon- I'd be surprised if there's another one like it in the entire country." "OOOOON THAT NOTE! Why would I try and kill John Dead with that!? If I bludgeoned him with it, his power would be lost to me!" Kumar Timalsina sneered. "I don't pretend to understand your deranged criminal mind. maybe you wanted to humiliate him by rejecting his powers. Or, since you agree that Mega-Psychic Missile From Ace Attorney Turnabout Goodbyes was there, maybe it was an inalienable condition of your cooperation with him." ecneserP ehT replied "So what you're saying is.... the Mega-Psychic Missile From Ace Attorney Turnabout Goodbyes is guilty, and I'm not guilty?" Kumar Timalsina laughed like an evil terrorist. "Just because you didn't land the killing blow doesn't mean you weren't part of the murder plot! There was too much snow covering John Dead at the time for Mega-Psychic Missile From Ace Attorney Turnabout Goodbyes to clear alone, and considering the state of my hat, the poisonous powder hasn't been explained away either." he paused. "Not to mention that Mega-Psychic Missile From Ace Attorney Turnabout Goodbyes wouldn't've been able to kill the Raksha inside John Dead with just its psychic powers." "Ha! You assume I have some sort of reason to work with the Psychic Missile. Go on then. Tell me why I would work with that thing." "Mwah mree mree mhrew mrew," laughed Kumar Timalsina. "I don't need to explain why you would've done it, you imbecilic fool! I can never truly understand the minds of criminals who aren't like me. But if you really want me to guess, I'd say you worked with it with the intention of betraying it, leaving it as your scapegoat!" He glared at ecneserP ehT. "That sure matches your approach to the trial, wouldn't you say?" "Kumar, Kumar, Kumar. You once again mistake me for someone who is willing to abandon a perfectly powerful person instead of integrating them into myself. I wouldn't leave behind a scapegoat... I'd just eat all the witnesses! With that in mind, let me explain how we got here, from my memory. " As the Klipot Blizzard raged on, I saw an individual named John, who was buried in the snow. I do not like John Phoenix, and this John fellow seemed to be possessed by his ghost. I tried to free John from this ghost, but was impeded by the snow. As I cleared the snow away, I must have accidentally shook lose some poison. Once the snow was gone, I separated the ghost of John Phoenix from this poor "John" fellow, and was on my way. This explains the poison and the cleared snow. And of course, I had no way of knowing at the time that the Psychic Missile would attempt to commit such a murder. You may cross-examine me, if you wish... but I doubt you'll get anywhere with it." This is an extremely advanced lawyer move where you claim to personally observe events connected to the crime. It's very risky if you aren't already the prime suspect. Kumar Timalsina looked thoughtfully at ecneserP ehT. "So, you claim that your interaction with John was non-lethal? are you sure he wasn't dead when you left?" "Positive! Thanks to the acute lifeline-sensing abilities of Leader, I can tell exactly when someone has died. By my estimate, John was dead about... 5 minutes after I left him." "I see. Did John resist your actions in any way?" Kumar asked, smiling slightly. "From what little I knew him, he didn't seem dissatisfied with the influence of John Phoenix on his life." "Not that I noticed. And believe me, I would have noticed." Suddenly, before Kumar could continue his cross-examination, arhalindur stopped reading a large book on unrelated cases and rejoined the conversation. "Kumar, you argued earlier that Natan, Irfran and the others probably don't have psychic powers. Hold that thought, right there." "True, I don't have any proof that they have psychic powers. But the fact remains that they could. So "they're the only people with psychic powers" isn't proof in of itself. As for the Evidence, perhaps you should explain how The Presence but backwards would be able to obtain this easier than you?" Kumar wagged his finger "Ah, of course I'd like to explain it, but I'm not able to examine the Evidence during a cross-examination- only the defence is permitted to do that. I have my suspicions, but it would be improper for me to speculate. I invite you to examine it yourself, however!" Using his eyes, arhalindur looked at the Evidence, hoping to see what it actually is, other than evidence. It's difficult to tell exactly what the Evidence is. It's clear that there's something there, of course, but there doesn't seem to be a precisely defined shape, texture, or even color, like it's an antimeme of some kind! He can, however, tell how large it is- it's about the size of a closed human fist- and that it's Evidence which killed John Dead. The effect is rather similar to looking at ecneserP ehT when it hasn't taken on a specific guise. While arhalindur examined the Evidence, the false Kumar voiced his mind. "Hm. Kumar, did you corrupt this?" Shocked at the accusation, Kumar replied "o-of course not! I didn't touch the evidence, I s-specifically told the autopsy team Not to, I-I-I-" Kumar then inhaled, and started over. "If I did corrupt this, the Evidence Uncorruptor should be able to tell us as much. Nedben installed it into the courthouse." "Oh, handy. I wasn't aware such a thing was available." Finished his examination, arhalindur spoke. "Thank you for your request for me to observe the Evidence. I think it's quite clear that you would have a much easier time obtaining this than The Presence but backwards." Shocked, Kumar sputtered "W-WHAT? How? why? wha- you're just trying to intimidate me, aren't you? how in the world would I be able to obtain this Evidence?" "Behold, this nondescript car." "This car has a particularly strange property. It cannot be described in any way, other than that's a car; despite the fact that, typically, cars have colors at the very least. It's from your universe, in fact: it was the car from which the gun that shot at John Phoenix, but instead hit a bird, was fired from. And, while we're at it, would you happen to recall just who was driving that car?" "The gun was fired at the bird, not John Phoenix! If it had been fired at John Phoenix, then the bullet would not have been able to make the birds entrails spell out the words YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID JOHN PHOENIX. YOU WILL SUFFER LIKE I DID!" Kumar then coughed awkwardly. "I, uh, suppose that doesn't really affect your argument though." "Is that the best argument you have?" "O-of course not! I just wanted to set the record straight on the simple matters first!" Kumar Timalsina drank some more tea to calm himself. "I suppose that I may have demonstrated the ability to obtain nondescript cars before. I did that using my evidence corrupting abilities, actually. A description is a type of evidence, so I was able to corrupt it. But if I'd prepared it with my evidence corruption abilities, the uncorrupter would work on it." Kumar then smirked. "Besides, this only would only make it equally easy for me to obtain the Evidence as ekneserP ehT. There's an undeniable resemblance between the shapeless, textureless, colorless Evidence and ekneserP ehT's form before it became a facsimile of me."(Evidence has been updated in the court record.) "So, it's a 50/50 right now?" replied Tarhalindur. "until the Evidence gets put through the uncorruptor! If it wasn't made nondescript using my abilities, it must be from ekneserP ehT, wouldn't you agree?" argued Kumar, but as Tarhalindur expertly pointed out, "technically, the claim that you used your abilities on the car doesn't have anything to back it up but you." Kumar kept trying to push his angle, saying "W-well, yes, but how else would I have been able to make a car nondescript? And you can ask Natan and Irfran, we worked together on that case.", but Tarhalindur was unswayed. "You're all cohorts, I don't think their word is any more credible than yours. I'm not entirely sure how you would do it without corrupting the description, but it's not the only conceivable explanation; there could just happen to be an antimemetic material in your universe. And besides, you still haven't really answered the question of how you know it was this one, particular (set of) psychic entities, other than that you don't know of any others." Seeing an opportunity, Kumar exclaimed "Aha! But how would I have brought the antimemetic material with me? I was summoned by the Godmodder, why would I have brought a piece of antimemetic Evidence with me? And as to the psychic entities, no, I don't know that. I just think it makes sense, don't you?" "Natan brought his gun, so you can definitely bring stuff." Raising one eyebrow, Kumar maintained his stance. "Natan brought his gun because he brings it with him everywhere! That's also why I have my hat and gloves. The only reason I didn't have my hat in the final court case was to hide my identity. Do you think I bring a fist-sized lump of nondescript material with me everywhere?" But, unfortunately for Kumar Timalsina, Tarhalindur knows a lot about The Adventures Of John Phoenix. "It's not out of the question, actually. John Phoenix carried an object identified simply as "Miscellaneous" in his left pocket, which never got used or explained." Kumar muttered something along the lines of 'damn you john phoenix', then went silent for a moment.
!Kumar smirks. It was just like Kumar Timalsina to waste his time cursing a corpse instead of mounting an offence. Unlike !Kumar, who has always had an IQ which as much higher than other IQs of most men, and spoke. "Then that would seem to mean that John Phoenix had access to the material that would later become Evidence. John Phoenix died, of course, but Von Karma inherited his inventory, then left them behind to flee like a dog. It only makes sense, then, that John Dead would have inherited what was left- including Miscellaneous." !Kumar presents Evidence. "If John Dead had the Evidence on him, then that would explain why such an odd murder weapon was chosen, which means anyone without fingerprints or with psychic powers could've been the killer- like you, Kumar Timalsina!" Kumar Timalsina gasps. "What? But I have an alibi for my physical body-" yells !Kumar. He presents ecneserP ehT's earlier testimony. "This testimony shows that ecneserP ehT killed you before and absorbed your body! yet, somehow, you are standing here right now! therefore, your physical alibi... is garbage!"
"So, what do you have to say, Timalsina? I'm eager to refute you again." After this concerted assault, Kumar Timalsina went silent for a while "..." "not enough..." His head flew back 90 degrees as he yelled "THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TO DEFEAT THE NEXT DHURK OF KHURAIN!" After than bizarre outburst, he continued evilly "mwah-mree-mree... I bet you thought you had me cornered, didn't you? think again! I admit it- I had more than one body! That's how I was able to stand in a room while wearing a hat while calling six witnesses to the stand at once with no hat on my head! And, as you've said, I have gloves! But I've already proven I don't have Psychic Powers! Not to mention, my Hat doesn't have any poisonous dust on it. Do you want to know why? It's because I was having [EVIDENCE CORRUPTED]- I mean, indoors, when ecneserP ehT jumped into the sky!" He smirked again, which seems to be his default facial expression by this point. "Poison dust lingers quite a while in the air, especially if it was spread from so high up! The lack of poison dust on my hat proves I didn't go outside with it for at least 30 minutes after ecneserP ehT did that!" "And before you think about arguing I did it somehow without psychic powers..." He then presented the Psychics Report again. "Psychic powers were absolutely, 100% involved!" Godmodder: Kumar, you're here to prosecute ecneserP ehT, not defend yourself. Do your job. Kumar cringed. "Right." He then glanced arrogantly at ecneserP ehT while tilting his head back. this means he looked down his nose at them, which is a common way of looking arrogantly at people. "Technically, the cross-examination isn't over. Let's recall what you've claimed..." "According to you, John Dead didn't resist your actions in any way... how ridiculous! What kind of man would simply accept the loss of power on a battlefield as dangerous as this one? I think there's something you're not telling us. Your testimony may account for the state of the crime scene, but it doesn't explain why John would've 'allowed' you to do such a thing. Did you exchange any conversation with John before you performed your... exorcism?" "This is entirely beside the point. You are here to prove I killed John Dead, are you not? And we have already proven that I am incapable of actually killing anybody. Although if you must know, no, there was no conversation between us. This proves nothing and is completely irrelevant." says the false Kumar, but it's not that simple. Especially not as far as the original Kumar was concerned. He scoffed. "No conversation? You mean to tell me that an inscrutable mass approached John Dead without saying a word, trailing poison, and he just stood by and let it do whatever it wanted? What was he, suicidal? You're right that the topic of the trial isn't necessarily about this interaction, but it's clearly suspicious." "Besides, we've only proven that you are incapable of leaving a body under normal circumstances. All we have to claim John Dead survived the exorcism is your testimony." The false Kumar is wily as ever, though. "Ah, but I have something more than that. You see, I have no psychic powers. If John Dead was killed by the exorcism, the trace of psychic power wouldn't have been detected at all!" Kumar sneered. "Not necessarily! On second thought, perhaps you're telling the truth about what you think happen, but consider this: John Phoenix was known to have Psychic powers! in fact, he, John Dragon, and Kristoph Gavin are the only confirmed users, and he was the greatest of the three. It's not unlikely, then, that John Dead gained a measure of the powers from their merger, and used them reflexively as his soul bled out!" To which the false Kumar jumped from one track of conversation to another like a skilled horse racer abandoning a lame stallion for a healthy one. "there's one other thing... The Evidence is observed to closely resemble me, yes?" Kumar raised a brow. "That is what the examinations have shown, yes." "When the Mega-Psychic Missile attacked me not some time ago, it knocked off a chunk of me which became inert. This happened after John was Dead. But some time before John died, you yourself attacked me and did a similar amount of damage. I would presume this also knocked a chunk, namely, that Evidence, off of my physical form! With how long ago that chunk was knocked off, anyone could have grabbed it and used it to bludgeon John Dead. And I suspect that that is exactly what the Mega-Psychic Missile did. This chunk of me, now inert, would not have had the same absorption powers as my full, constituted body. " Kumar raised another eyebrow. "I attacked you? with what, pray tell?" "Special tea, I believe."
Kumar smirked. "Actually, on a close reading, that clearly states I gave special tea to the Cosmic Monolith. your injury is an entire line later." "Who attacked me is beside the point! The point is that I took enough damage to lose a chunk." Kumar shrugged. "Regardless, do you have any evidence- even in your testimony- against the possibility that John Dead lost control of his Psychic Powers after you exorcised John Phoenix from him, and accidentally killed himself using the coincidentally nearby Evidence?" "Simple! My exorcism was instantaneous. There was no time in which John Phoenix could have realized that I was exorcising him and used his psychic powers, unless he was already planning on killing John and did so just before my exorcism. Which he didn't." Kumar shook his head. "I said that it was possible John Dead lost control of his psychic powers, not John Phoenix." Kumar wagged his finger. "It's hardly semantics whether the user of the psychic powers was exorcised or present! it entirely changes the reasonability of my argument." "We have already proven that John Dead only had psychic powers because he was being possessed by John Phoenix! And even then it doesn't matter because the exorcism was instantaneous, something you must agree with because you haven't tried to refute it! Even if John Dead had control over the psychic powers and panicked, he would have lost them before he was able to kill himself." Kumar raised an eyebrow. "We've proven no such thing, especially not in the meaningful sense. It's true the reason John Dead is suspected to have Psychic Powers is his possession by John Phoenix. But if, as you say, John Dead did not resist your Exorcism, then we can only conclude he had some reason to believe allowing it to go through was not suicide. Perhaps John Phoenixes powers had begun to rub off on John Dead? I can only speculate, but if the speculation holds, then so would my theory." He then sneered. "Of course, there's yet another possibility. I haven't accepted the instantaneous nature of your exorcism as a matter of course. Perhaps He resisted, blew off a chunk of you- lost his psychic powers- began dying painfully as a side effect of having John Phoenix torn off, and then killed himself to end the pain, knowing himself doomed?" "Well. Would you like a demonstration? If not, until you can prove my exorcism was not instantaneous, we won't get anywhere." Was that a death threat I just heard this is a honorable court of law death threats are quite beyond the pale. "Oh, absolutely not! I was simply offering to demonstrate my powers on another target." Kumar rolled his eyes. "And what other target would that be? Do you see any other Half-Raksha Half-persons walking around?" "Why must it be a half-rashka? Anything that could react to an attempt at subsumption within a very small frame of time would be adequate." "Would it? After all, most targets are nicely physical, whereas a Raksha is much less so. It's entirely possible that would induce differences in the absorption process, all the more so since a part of the being remained intact." "Regardless, until a target can be determined, I have something else to discuss with you. Kumar, do you believe the Mega-Psychic Missile was the killer of John Dead? Because last I checked, you were supposed to prove its guilt as well. And, I'm beginning to piece together what I think really happened in this case... Allow me to present to you, some evidence I scrounged up." At this point, the False Kumar dramatically unveiled the corrupted text earlier- now uncorrupted using the Courts Evidence Uncorruptor. "As you can see, this is the attack made on myself some turns ago. You were giving Special Tea to the Cosmic Monolith to force it to lay a powerful attack on myself, and then you corrupted the evidence you had done so." To which Kumar simply nodded. "That's true. it's simple tactics on a chaotic battlefield, and since nobody was killed, acceptable within the law." This is actually several kinds of illegal he's just not going to get punished for it. "From this, we can assume that you can use your special tea to force attacks by others onto opponents of yours. Others like, say, the Mega-Psychic Missile. And, on the round when John Dead was killed, you had special tea to spare. Here is what I believe happened. In the time leading up to the death of John Dead, you saw me pulling John from the snow and performing an exorcism on him. Now, at this point it is already established you want me dead. So you tried to frame me. You already had the chunk of myself that was detached when you forced the Cosmic Monolith to attack me. So you used your special tea on the Mega-Psychic Missile to force it to attack and kill John Dead using the chunk of me you already had handy. Suddenly, there was proof I was at the scene, proof that the murder weapon was part of me, and proof that I had interacted directly with John Dead earlier. The perfect scapegoat."
For a few seconds, Kumar seemed to be suffering from whiplash; his face as white as a ghost, and he didn't seem to be breathing. Slowly, he put on his hat, completely concealing his face, and fell over with a thud. His unconscious body then began crawling around like a centipede while mumbling incoherently. He seemed to be having a nightmare, within which the words "John Phoenix", "Again", "Father", "How", "Die", and "Small children" featured prominently. These words featured prominently because they were relevant to his nightmare. They were relevant to his nightmare because he probably was having a nightmare about this court case, which was going to kill him, because he was clearly guilty. They were also relevant to him because he was a [this word removed because I'm better than John Phoenix], and possibly because he was having flashbacks to the last time he lost a court case. This would make sense, because the last time he lost a court case, it was to a genius, John Phoenix, who would of course have left a terribly traumatic memory, because Kumar Timalsina deserved it. Kumar Timalsina deserved it because Kumar Timalsina had born animosity for John Phoenix, and was corrupt. This was probably another reason he was having a nightmare, because he was evil, and being evil meant he had a lot to be guilty about, and a lot to fear. ecneserP ehT bows and exits the courtroom shortly before turning back to its usual form.
A1 + A2 + A3 + refund actions: I upgrade the Which House into a giant robot that is also a base, using the Special Police Dekaranger powerbase that can just...do that.
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As part of me having taken over the country, we'll need a functional government! That sounds annoying, so I'll make the entities do it. The F figures out how to make this a cult thing somehow, I blame society shaping and The BRRRRRRanded OnEEEEEEEEE. Specifically, we'll figure out how our cult enforces whatever it's doing! Pretty sure we've had to do that somehow due to the sacrifices but we've done weirder things without tracking it before, plus they wrote down some doctrinal stuff a while back so maybe it got written down. Do we have cult police yet? If not we should probably look into that since we just added the police base function to our base. Other entities act at discretion.
3 - ecneserP ehT shakes off the thick layer of ice covering it, then turns to Eulogo Samint. Eulogo Samint has a lot of HP. And ecneserP ehT needs a lot of HP. It's practically meant to be!
15 - As Eulogo Samint is minding his own business, he suddenly feels a magic spell blast itself into his back as he's knocked back in time roughly 30 pages, followed by ecneserP ehT...
A few seconds later, ecneserP ehT re-emerges from the portal. Eulogo Samint does not.
ecneserP ehT regenerates. The Cat regenerates. ecneserP ehT attacks Eulogo Samint and/or the Pumpkinworld.
Crafting Spirit Action: The Crafting Spirit uses all its diamonds to craft a Lifelike Godmodder Statue. Actually, it's so lifelike that it makes the Godmodder question his existence! Is he even the real Godmodder? This gives the statue enough time to punch him in the face!
Actions 2 and 3: Oh no! I hate chalkboards! They give me PTSD! I give the Supersoaker Turret a pair of wings (through magical means) and make it fight the monster.
I use the power of posting at the last minute to compress as much snow as possible into the compressor. If it reaches maximum capacity and I have actions left, I do nothing because I forgot lol
Let's talk about geometry and navigation and maps and stuff that's a good replacement topic since 'map known areas' is done charging back in the present.
A1: I engineer some of the bananas into a gyroscopic banana plantation. I have no idea what gyroscope-banana hybrids will look like but we'll find out when they grow into trees.
A2: Banana....rotate...I perform the Lancelot-style banana rotation maneuver! The leftover free bananas are now rotating until somebody does something with them.
A3: I give the Godmodder a makeunder kit so he can figure out the relevant beauty rating marring his visage to not end up reflexively bashing it as depiction. It's the Godmodder's problem now! Test bashing/notbashing may or may not prove violent and/or cosmetic.
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The F does research on theocracies and how cults expand. I'm not really sure why or what for, but if we're not a banana republic we'll have to figure out a banana government somehow, especially if the moths decide to join the government. Other entities act at discretion.
Crafting Spirit Action: It's clear crafting will no longer work as an attack. It. is. time. for. VIOLENCE. The Crafting Spirit grabs the Ruined diamond statue and uses it to attack the Medium Laser Cannon. The statue should probably do a lot of damage since it's made of diamonds and the Medium Laser Cannon is presumably made out of metal.
Actions 2 and 3 + Light Staff: I summon Anti-Skin Juice, also known as Idontknowchemisryite Acid, on top of the Spider-Rat-Snake-Human-Monster-?????-Hybrid.
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I take the Crafting Affinity.
Actions 1 and 2: Crafting. I am now one with crafting. Crafting is one with me. I pull out my Crafting Spirit (thisisnotajojoreference) and send it to the battlefield. It takes my Crafting Affinity (but that's okay because I don't need it right now anyway) and one of my actions per turn with it (I get them back when it's defeated). It is AG, but not Aiding the Godmodder. It's simply Anti-Godmodder, and as an AG it is protected from the snow de-buff.
Crafting Spirit Action: To anyone else, the Trash Machine might seem like a pile of trash, and a horrible one at that. But the Crafting Spirit knows better. It can turn this trash into art. It uses its pure crafting skills to move through the snow and rearrange specific pieces of trash in order to make the Trash Machine look nicer. This machine is trash no more.
A1: I unleash a flamethrower onto the ice elemental to help heat up the world.
A2: I build a few factories. With no regulations. For some extra heat.
A3: Some weird paradox thing thing I needed to break or unbreak! 2/10
-I suppose I also don't know how common such a misjudgement is. Maybe Sky was basically expecting the ARG's Overall level of effectiveness and the only reason the sequence-break was a surprise was him not realising it was even possible from what was out there.
1 - ecneserP ehT works its way out of a pair of handcuffs.
1 - ecneserP ehT works its way out of a pair of handcuffs.
1 - ecneserP ehT works its way out of a pair of handcuffs.
1 - ecneserP ehT works its way out of a pair of handcuffs.
1 - ecneserP ehT works its way out of a pair of handcuffs.
1 - ecneserP ehT works its way out of a pair of handcuffs.
1 - ecneserP ehT works its way out of a pair of handcuffs.
1 - ecneserP ehT works its way out of a pair of handcuffs.
10 - Using any spare action power it had from getting out of those handcuffs, it lifts all the snow off of the Huge Laser Cannon and then beats it to a pulp. Is "it" the snow, or the Laser Cannon? The answer is YES.
ecneserP ehT regenerates. The Cat regenerates. ecneserP ehT attacks the Huge Laser Cannon. If there's any extra attack power, it clears some snow off of Eulogo Samint.
?he C?n?? ?ut???? ??: 22/60
A1: I glare daggers at the Ice Elemental. It is now wielding a bunch of daggers I have stabbed into it. It may be overdone, but we're overdoing it.
A2: IT SEEMS THERE'S BEEN A MOTH SHORTAGE! I WILL COMPENSATE BY USING THE NONEXISTENT BONES OF DEATH TO MEAT, WHICH ATTRACTS BONE-MOTHS FROM THE FORGOTTEN REALMS.
A3: I send Mega-Psychic Missile From Ace Attorney Turnabout Goodbyes to dog therapy so they can recover from things in time to provide reasonably understandable dog testimony at trial.
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The F performs triage and leads those available in repairing the Which House walls in the aftermath of the snow problem. Other entities act at discretion.
It has only been one turn and my Crafting Spirit is already almost dead. Good thing it isn't yet!
Crafting Spirit Action: The Crafting Spirit takes a good look at the snow it's covered in. Snow is a great crafting material! It can be used to make anything! Snowballs, Igloos and even... Black Holes! The Crafting Spirit takes as much snow as it can and compresses it so much it turns into a Black Hole. This will most definitely destroy the Crafting Spirit, but it will do anything for art. As a famous philosopher once said: "Diamonds are forever." And the Crafting Spirit isn't a diamond, so... yeah...
Actions 1 and 2 + Bass-Boosted Jetpack: I fly towards the village, the one next to the giant tooth-filled pit, and ask if anyone has a monster that needs punching.
So things like the Garfield 2401 ARG where I sequence-broke it and also everything else everyone else did which I personally find less memorable for obvious reasons, but also the courtroom thing, or, like, that one technoblade stream with the donations for TNT.
A1 + A2: I repair the Which House by using a bunch of the stored-up blood to make solidified, reinforced blood swords like the EBF Blood Blade and then using the blood blades to replace missing structural elements. It's like one of those sword tower thingies, it worked in Japan once.
A3: The etrahedral one's stat block says it is a bridge, so we use it to bridge one of the really big holes in the battlefield or something.
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The F uses Ordinary Object Conjuration to spawn a bunch of diamonds near the Crafting Spirit so they can...I don't know, disguise themselves as diamond ore using armor or something. Go pick 'em up and find out.
Other entities and leftover actions help me with making the Which House into an even edgier cult headquarters, now with blood blade decor.
I teleport into wherever the court case is taking place, since it seems there isn't an actual courthouse.
I begin by presenting The Adventures of John Phoenix and its sequel, demonstrating that psychic powers exist in the universe of John Phoenix, which many entities are currently from or influenced by. Due to the large number of potential psychics, the presence of psychic powers does not point to anyone in particular.
I also point out that the autopsy report was unable to determine a cause of death, and so there is no proof whatsoever that John Dead was killed with psychic powers.
I then ask the other players on the defense team to fill in for me and present evidence while I use all three of my actions to harvest snow off of Kumar and company and put it in a compressor which I brought with me.
Crafting Spirit Action: Oh, no, these cannons won't do at all. They're to stiff and... ugly. It's surprised by the fact that they even hit something in the first place. The Spirit enters the Small Laser Cannon and disassembles it, and reassembles it almost immediately after. It actually works now! And is opposing the Godmodder, because he has no respect for art.
Action 2 + Light Staff: I absorb mana from the surrounding area since nobody is using it.
Action 3 + Light Staff: I use said mana to create a Super-Soaker Turret. This is a fire-based dimension so anything living here should be weak to water. Definitely.
10 - ecneserP ehT grabs a nearby carrot and integrates it into itself. For some reason this causes it to double in size, healing a significant amount of HP.
ecneserP ehT regenerates. The Cat regenerates. ecneserP ehT attacks Eulogo Samint.
?he C?n?? ?ut???? ?? ?a???: 30/60
"And you'd think there's no proof, wouldn't you? But take that!" he presented Evidence with a sinister smirk. "This Evidence is what killed John Dead! But there are no fingerprints on it... As you would expect if it was used by someone with psychic powers!" He then presented the Psychics Report again. "Besides, the traces of psychic activity around his body show that if he wasn't killed with Psychic Powers directly, there were definitely Psychic Powers involved! heheh... Tarhalindur, was it? You're clearly no match for Me, the next Dhurke of Khurain!"
Superficially, it seemed like a reasonable argument, but
Taken aback by this argument, Kumar crawled around on the sides of the courtroom like a centipede shrieking and crying for daddy, but Edgeworth was not present (or brainwashed). "Gaaaah! How do you know so much about- No, No! Your argument makes sense, but I still don't have psychic powers! Besides, I'm not John Phoenix- why would you think I would be capable of multitasking like him?"
he paused and collects himself.
"In fact, if you know so much about John Phoenix, you should already know that I don't have psychic powers! If I did, I wouldn't have needed to be physically present to wear a hat while shooting a bird from a car! I could've just used psychic powers to do it, while having a real alibi!"
Kumar sipped some tea, then continued, "You're right that A Man With A Hat wasn't at the eulogy, but that's because I, the then Man With A Hat, wasn't wearing a hat at the time- It would've been disrespectful at a eulogy! The current A Man With A Hat is actually Terifa, who picked up the Hat after I took it off this round."
Before the argument can continue, ecneserP ehT arrives... convulses... laughs... and shifts. It appears to be changing, taking on a strange new form. When it finally settles, it has taken the form of Kumar Timalsina. But this Kumar Timalsina is infused with a very strange power, down to the core... an element of Perfection. It's not perfection and in fact it is very annoying, but it will be good enough to operate in the courtroom.
"Your Honor, I have critical evidence to present to the court involving its own involvement, or rather lack thereof, in the death of John Dead. You see, I can't actually kill anyone. As the Godmodder informed Kumar, I am composed of several extant (and non-extant, though that's not important) personalities, including those of Sky High, Leader, the Huge Laser Cannon, and, supposedly, John Dead. So, even if I did kill John Dead, which I didn't, he wouldn't actually be dead, just separated from his body. Except, there's another problem. You see, every single person or thing that has been integrated into myself has been consumed entirely. Sky High and Leader were absorbed into me along with their bodies, Kumar was absorbed into me along with his body, the Huge Laser Cannon was absorbed into me along with its body, etc. So, riddle me this: Why would John Dead leave behind his body, if I "killed" him?"
"I... uh... I don't know." said Kumar Timalsina. "I don't know enough about the metaphysics of this stuff. Why do the bodies you kill disappear, anyway?"
"Simple!", replied the false Timalsina. "I don't actually kill them. They become a part of my physical form. And there's no way for me to separate mind from body, either. If there was, anyway, I wouldn't do it. What would I stand to gain?"
Godmodder: Kumar doesn't know enough about Raksha to explain what's going on, so I'll step in.Godmodder: John Dead was made of two bits, John summoned by the John F Kennedy Memorial Album, and the remnants of the John Phoenix Wight Raksha, a loose connection of narrative tendencies. Most of the power, and what ecneserP ehT would've probably absorbed, was the remnants of the Raksha- In other words, the corpse was left behind because it was, in fact, actually a skin suit.
"Y-Y-Yes! That must be it!" said Kumar, clearly with no idea what he was talking about.
Off-balance, Kumar replied, "W-Well... Uh... That's why I said it wasn't just you! If both you and Mega-Psychic Missile From Ace Attorney Turnabout Goodbyes were involved, who knows what kind of twisted goals such criminal minds would've thought up? Maybe Mega-Psychic Missile From Ace Attorney Turnabout Goodbyes wanted John Deads corpse intact, for some reason!"
, but swiftly came the rejoinder; "I don't deny that the Mega-Psychic Missile is likely responsible for the death of John Dead. But do you really think I would work with the Mega-Psychic Missile when I could just consume it?"
Kumar Timalsina presented the Autopsy Report. "traces of poisonous powder were found on the body! Specifically, the same powder used in the poisonous tower! The poisonous tower had been demolished by this point, and there were no traces- a very odd mystery, until you explained your absorption capabilities! You where the one to destroy the poisonous tower, and that means you absorbed its poison! How would the powder have gotten on John Dead if you weren't there?"
"Just before the death of John Dead, I attempted to escape the arena by punching a hole in the firmament. I failed to account for the Klipot Flooding, and was thereby blasted by the water, which then proceeded to wash over everything shortly before turning to ice. In that time I wouldn't be surprised if the water blasted away a chunk of this poison powder and washed it over the entire arena! Indeed, if we check that hat of yours -"
(ecneserP ehT held up the stolen hat of the Man With A Hat)
"- I suspect we'll find traces of the powder on that as well! And, if you think this may have been the real murder weapon, think again! Everyone knows that even the fastest-acting poison does not cause instant death!"
Immediately, Kumar Timalsina hissed and yanked his hat back. "Give me that!"
"Oh dear, you seem very unwilling to have your hat admitted into evidence.
Is there something you're not telling us?"
Eyes red with anger, Kumar growled "How dare you! This hat is the only thing I have left of my father, Wilt Wally! Of course I'm protective of it, you, you-" He visibly restrained himself, veins bulging all over his chin. Which I'm pretty sure isn't healthy.
"Ahem Anyway, there's no poisonous powder on my hat. shows what you knew, huh?" he smirked. "Besides which, of course I don't think the poison was the murder weapon. The Court Record is very clear that Evidence is what killed John Dead, not the poisonous powder."
Kumar sputtered angrily in response "And- You- But- B- Cough"
After coughing for a few seconds, he calmed down a bit.
"I suppose that theoretically Natan, Irfran and the others could have had psychic powers, but isn't it much more likely for the psychic who killed John Dead to be someone who we know has psychic powers, not someone who might, maybe, possibly have psychic powers?"
He then rummaged around in his pocket a bit and pulled out the Evidence.
"Besides! Where in the world would any of us have gotten an Evidence like this, h-huh? You think they sell this kind of thing in stores?"
"Stealing it? If you have psychic powers it's not terribly difficult." replied
"OOOOON THAT NOTE! Why would I try and kill John Dead with that!? If I bludgeoned him with it, his power would be lost to me!"
Kumar Timalsina sneered. "I don't pretend to understand your deranged criminal mind. maybe you wanted to humiliate him by rejecting his powers. Or, since you agree that Mega-Psychic Missile From Ace Attorney Turnabout Goodbyes was there, maybe it was an inalienable condition of your cooperation with him."
ecneserP ehT replied "So what you're saying is.... the Mega-Psychic Missile From Ace Attorney Turnabout Goodbyes is guilty, and I'm not guilty?"
Kumar Timalsina laughed like an evil terrorist. "Just because you didn't land the killing blow doesn't mean you weren't part of the murder plot! There was too much snow covering John Dead at the time for Mega-Psychic Missile From Ace Attorney Turnabout Goodbyes to clear alone, and considering the state of my hat, the poisonous powder hasn't been explained away either."
he paused. "Not to mention that Mega-Psychic Missile From Ace Attorney Turnabout Goodbyes wouldn't've been able to kill the Raksha inside John Dead with just its psychic powers."
"Ha! You assume I have some sort of reason to work with the Psychic Missile. Go on then. Tell me why I would work with that thing."
"Mwah mree mree mhrew mrew," laughed Kumar Timalsina. "I don't need to explain why you would've done it, you imbecilic fool! I can never truly understand the minds of criminals who aren't like me. But if you really want me to guess, I'd say you worked with it with the intention of betraying it, leaving it as your scapegoat!" He glared at ecneserP ehT. "That sure matches your approach to the trial, wouldn't you say?"
"Kumar, Kumar, Kumar. You once again mistake me for someone who is willing to abandon a perfectly powerful person instead of integrating them into myself. I wouldn't leave behind a scapegoat... I'd just eat all the witnesses! With that in mind, let me explain how we got here, from my memory. "
As the Klipot Blizzard raged on, I saw an individual named John, who was buried in the snow.
I do not like John Phoenix, and this John fellow seemed to be possessed by his ghost.
I tried to free John from this ghost, but was impeded by the snow.
As I cleared the snow away, I must have accidentally shook lose some poison.
Once the snow was gone, I separated the ghost of John Phoenix from this poor "John" fellow, and was on my way.
This explains the poison and the cleared snow. And of course, I had no way of knowing at the time that the Psychic Missile would attempt to commit such a murder.
You may cross-examine me, if you wish... but I doubt you'll get anywhere with it."
This is an extremely advanced lawyer move where you claim to personally observe events connected to the crime. It's very risky if you aren't already the prime suspect.
Kumar Timalsina looked thoughtfully at ecneserP ehT. "So, you claim that your interaction with John was non-lethal? are you sure he wasn't dead when you left?"
"Positive! Thanks to the acute lifeline-sensing abilities of Leader, I can tell exactly when someone has died. By my estimate, John was dead about... 5 minutes after I left him."
"I see. Did John resist your actions in any way?" Kumar asked, smiling slightly. "From what little I knew him, he didn't seem dissatisfied with the influence of John Phoenix on his life."
"Not that I noticed. And believe me, I would have noticed."
Suddenly, before Kumar could continue his cross-examination,
"Kumar, you argued earlier that Natan, Irfran and the others probably don't have psychic powers. Hold that thought, right there."
"True, I don't have any proof that they have psychic powers. But the fact remains that they could. So "they're the only people with psychic powers" isn't proof in of itself. As for the Evidence, perhaps you should explain how The Presence but backwards would be able to obtain this easier than you?"
Kumar wagged his finger "Ah, of course I'd like to explain it, but I'm not able to examine the Evidence during a cross-examination- only the defence is permitted to do that. I have my suspicions, but it would be improper for me to speculate. I invite you to examine it yourself, however!"
Using his eyes,
It's difficult to tell exactly what the Evidence is. It's clear that there's something there, of course, but there doesn't seem to be a precisely defined shape, texture, or even color, like it's an antimeme of some kind! He can, however, tell how large it is- it's about the size of a closed human fist- and that it's Evidence which killed John Dead.
The effect is rather similar to looking at ecneserP ehT when it hasn't taken on a specific guise.
While
Shocked at the accusation, Kumar replied "o-of course not! I didn't touch the evidence, I s-specifically told the autopsy team Not to, I-I-I-"
Kumar then inhaled, and started over. "If I did corrupt this, the Evidence Uncorruptor should be able to tell us as much. Nedben installed it into the courthouse."
"Oh, handy. I wasn't aware such a thing was available."
Finished his examination,
Shocked, Kumar sputtered "W-WHAT? How? why? wha- you're just trying to intimidate me, aren't you? how in the world would I be able to obtain this Evidence?"
"Behold, this nondescript car."
"This car has a particularly strange property. It cannot be described in any way, other than that's a car; despite the fact that, typically, cars have colors at the very least. It's from your universe, in fact: it was the car from which the gun that shot at John Phoenix, but instead hit a bird, was fired from. And, while we're at it, would you happen to recall just who was driving that car?"
"The gun was fired at the bird, not John Phoenix! If it had been fired at John Phoenix, then the bullet would not have been able to make the birds entrails spell out the words
YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID JOHN PHOENIX. YOU WILL SUFFER LIKE I DID!"Kumar then coughed awkwardly. "I, uh, suppose that doesn't really affect your argument though."
"Is that the best argument you have?"
"O-of course not! I just wanted to set the record straight on the simple matters first!"
Kumar Timalsina drank some more tea to calm himself. "I suppose that I may have demonstrated the ability to obtain nondescript cars before. I did that using my evidence corrupting abilities, actually. A description is a type of evidence, so I was able to corrupt it. But if I'd prepared it with my evidence corruption abilities, the uncorrupter would work on it."
Kumar then smirked. "Besides, this only would only make it equally easy for me to obtain the Evidence as ekneserP ehT. There's an undeniable resemblance between the shapeless, textureless, colorless Evidence and ekneserP ehT's form before it became a facsimile of me."(Evidence has been updated in the court record.)
"So, it's a 50/50 right now?" replied Tarhalindur.
"until the Evidence gets put through the uncorruptor! If it wasn't made nondescript using my abilities, it must be from ekneserP ehT, wouldn't you agree?" argued Kumar, but as Tarhalindur expertly pointed out, "technically, the claim that you used your abilities on the car doesn't have anything to back it up but you."
Kumar kept trying to push his angle, saying "W-well, yes, but how else would I have been able to make a car nondescript? And you can ask Natan and Irfran, we worked together on that case.", but Tarhalindur was unswayed. "You're all cohorts, I don't think their word is any more credible than yours.
I'm not entirely sure how you would do it without corrupting the description, but it's not the only conceivable explanation; there could just happen to be an antimemetic material in your universe. And besides, you still haven't really answered the question of how you know it was this one, particular (set of) psychic entities, other than that you don't know of any others."
Seeing an opportunity, Kumar exclaimed "Aha! But how would I have brought the antimemetic material with me? I was summoned by the Godmodder, why would I have brought a piece of antimemetic Evidence with me? And as to the psychic entities, no, I don't know that. I just think it makes sense, don't you?"
"Natan brought his gun, so you can definitely bring stuff."
Raising one eyebrow, Kumar maintained his stance. "Natan brought his gun because he brings it with him everywhere! That's also why I have my hat and gloves. The only reason I didn't have my hat in the final court case was to hide my identity. Do you think I bring a fist-sized lump of nondescript material with me everywhere?"
But, unfortunately for Kumar Timalsina, Tarhalindur knows a lot about The Adventures Of John Phoenix. "It's not out of the question, actually. John Phoenix carried an object identified simply as "Miscellaneous" in his left pocket, which never got used or explained."
Kumar muttered something along the lines of 'damn you john phoenix', then went silent for a moment.
"So, what do you have to say, Timalsina? I'm eager to refute you again."
After this concerted assault, Kumar Timalsina went silent for a while
"..."
"not enough..."
His head flew back 90 degrees as he yelled "THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TO DEFEAT THE NEXT DHURK OF KHURAIN!"
After than bizarre outburst, he continued evilly "mwah-mree-mree... I bet you thought you had me cornered, didn't you? think again! I admit it- I had more than one body! That's how I was able to stand in a room while wearing a hat while calling six witnesses to the stand at once with no hat on my head! And, as you've said, I have gloves! But I've already proven I don't have Psychic Powers! Not to mention, my Hat doesn't have any poisonous dust on it. Do you want to know why? It's because I was having [EVIDENCE CORRUPTED]- I mean, indoors, when ecneserP ehT jumped into the sky!"
He smirked again, which seems to be his default facial expression by this point.
"Poison dust lingers quite a while in the air, especially if it was spread from so high up! The lack of poison dust on my hat proves I didn't go outside with it for at least 30 minutes after ecneserP ehT did that!"
"And before you think about arguing I did it somehow without psychic powers..." He then presented the Psychics Report again. "Psychic powers were absolutely, 100% involved!"
Godmodder: Kumar, you're here to prosecute ecneserP ehT, not defend yourself. Do your job.
Kumar cringed. "Right."
He then glanced arrogantly at ecneserP ehT while tilting his head back. this means he looked down his nose at them, which is a common way of looking arrogantly at people. "Technically, the cross-examination isn't over. Let's recall what you've claimed..."
"According to you, John Dead didn't resist your actions in any way... how ridiculous! What kind of man would simply accept the loss of power on a battlefield as dangerous as this one? I think there's something you're not telling us. Your testimony may account for the state of the crime scene, but it doesn't explain why John would've 'allowed' you to do such a thing. Did you exchange any conversation with John before you performed your... exorcism?"
"This is entirely beside the point. You are here to prove I killed John Dead, are you not? And we have already proven that I am incapable of actually killing anybody. Although if you must know, no, there was no conversation between us. This proves nothing and is completely irrelevant." says the false Kumar, but it's not that simple. Especially not as far as the original Kumar was concerned.
He scoffed. "No conversation? You mean to tell me that an inscrutable mass approached John Dead without saying a word, trailing poison, and he just stood by and let it do whatever it wanted? What was he, suicidal? You're right that the topic of the trial isn't necessarily about this interaction, but it's clearly suspicious."
"Besides, we've only proven that you are incapable of leaving a body under normal circumstances. All we have to claim John Dead survived the exorcism is your testimony."
The false Kumar is wily as ever, though. "Ah, but I have something more than that. You see, I have no psychic powers. If John Dead was killed by the exorcism, the trace of psychic power wouldn't have been detected at all!"
Kumar sneered. "Not necessarily! On second thought, perhaps you're telling the truth about what you think happen, but consider this: John Phoenix was known to have Psychic powers! in fact, he, John Dragon, and Kristoph Gavin are the only confirmed users, and he was the greatest of the three. It's not unlikely, then, that John Dead gained a measure of the powers from their merger, and used them reflexively as his soul bled out!"
To which the false Kumar jumped from one track of conversation to another like a skilled horse racer abandoning a lame stallion for a healthy one.
"there's one other thing...
The Evidence is observed to closely resemble me, yes?"
Kumar raised a brow. "That is what the examinations have shown, yes."
"When the Mega-Psychic Missile attacked me not some time ago, it knocked off a chunk of me which became inert. This happened after John was Dead. But some time before John died, you yourself attacked me and did a similar amount of damage. I would presume this also knocked a chunk, namely, that Evidence, off of my physical form! With how long ago that chunk was knocked off, anyone could have grabbed it and used it to bludgeon John Dead. And I suspect that that is exactly what the Mega-Psychic Missile did.
This chunk of me, now inert, would not have had the same absorption powers as my full, constituted body. "
Kumar raised another eyebrow. "I attacked you? with what, pray tell?"
"Special tea, I believe."
"Who attacked me is beside the point! The point is that I took enough damage to lose a chunk."
Kumar shrugged. "Regardless, do you have any evidence- even in your testimony- against the possibility that John Dead lost control of his Psychic Powers after you exorcised John Phoenix from him, and accidentally killed himself using the coincidentally nearby Evidence?"
"Simple! My exorcism was instantaneous. There was no time in which John Phoenix could have realized that I was exorcising him and used his psychic powers, unless he was already planning on killing John and did so just before my exorcism. Which he didn't."
Kumar shook his head. "I said that it was possible John Dead lost control of his psychic powers, not John Phoenix."
Kumar wagged his finger. "It's hardly semantics whether the user of the psychic powers was exorcised or present! it entirely changes the reasonability of my argument."
"We have already proven that John Dead only had psychic powers because he was being possessed by John Phoenix! And even then it doesn't matter because the exorcism was instantaneous, something you must agree with because you haven't tried to refute it! Even if John Dead had control over the psychic powers and panicked, he would have lost them before he was able to kill himself."
Kumar raised an eyebrow. "We've proven no such thing, especially not in the meaningful sense. It's true the reason John Dead is suspected to have Psychic Powers is his possession by John Phoenix. But if, as you say, John Dead did not resist your Exorcism, then we can only conclude he had some reason to believe allowing it to go through was not suicide. Perhaps John Phoenixes powers had begun to rub off on John Dead? I can only speculate, but if the speculation holds, then so would my theory."
He then sneered. "Of course, there's yet another possibility. I haven't accepted the instantaneous nature of your exorcism as a matter of course. Perhaps He resisted, blew off a chunk of you- lost his psychic powers- began dying painfully as a side effect of having John Phoenix torn off, and then killed himself to end the pain, knowing himself doomed?"
"Well. Would you like a demonstration?
If not, until you can prove my exorcism was not instantaneous, we won't get anywhere."
Was that a death threat I just heard
this is a honorable court of law death threats are quite beyond the pale.
"Oh, absolutely not! I was simply offering to demonstrate my powers on another target."
Kumar rolled his eyes. "And what other target would that be? Do you see any other Half-Raksha Half-persons walking around?"
"Why must it be a half-rashka? Anything that could react to an attempt at subsumption within a very small frame of time would be adequate."
"Would it? After all, most targets are nicely physical, whereas a Raksha is much less so. It's entirely possible that would induce differences in the absorption process, all the more so since a part of the being remained intact."
"Regardless, until a target can be determined, I have something else to discuss with you.
Kumar, do you believe the Mega-Psychic Missile was the killer of John Dead? Because last I checked, you were supposed to prove its guilt as well.
And, I'm beginning to piece together what I think really happened in this case... Allow me to present to you, some evidence I scrounged up."
At this point, the False Kumar dramatically unveiled the corrupted text earlier- now uncorrupted using the Courts Evidence Uncorruptor.
"As you can see, this is the attack made on myself some turns ago. You were giving Special Tea to the Cosmic Monolith to force it to lay a powerful attack on myself, and then you corrupted the evidence you had done so."
To which Kumar simply nodded. "That's true. it's simple tactics on a chaotic battlefield, and since nobody was killed, acceptable within the law."
This is actually several kinds of illegal he's just not going to get punished for it.
"From this, we can assume that you can use your special tea to force attacks by others onto opponents of yours.
Others like, say, the Mega-Psychic Missile.
And, on the round when John Dead was killed, you had special tea to spare.
Here is what I believe happened. In the time leading up to the death of John Dead, you saw me pulling John from the snow and performing an exorcism on him. Now, at this point it is already established you want me dead. So you tried to frame me.
You already had the chunk of myself that was detached when you forced the Cosmic Monolith to attack me. So you used your special tea on the Mega-Psychic Missile to force it to attack and kill John Dead using the chunk of me you already had handy. Suddenly, there was proof I was at the scene, proof that the murder weapon was part of me, and proof that I had interacted directly with John Dead earlier. The perfect scapegoat."
His unconscious body then began crawling around like a centipede while mumbling incoherently. He seemed to be having a nightmare, within which the words "John Phoenix", "Again", "Father", "How", "Die", and "Small children" featured prominently. These words featured prominently because they were relevant to his nightmare. They were relevant to his nightmare because he probably was having a nightmare about this court case, which was going to kill him, because he was clearly guilty. They were also relevant to him because he was a [this word removed because I'm better than John Phoenix], and possibly because he was having flashbacks to the last time he lost a court case. This would make sense, because the last time he lost a court case, it was to a genius, John Phoenix, who would of course have left a terribly traumatic memory, because Kumar Timalsina deserved it. Kumar Timalsina deserved it because Kumar Timalsina had born animosity for John Phoenix, and was corrupt. This was probably another reason he was having a nightmare, because he was evil, and being evil meant he had a lot to be guilty about, and a lot to fear.
ecneserP ehT bows and exits the courtroom shortly before turning back to its usual form.
A1 + A2 + A3 + refund actions: I upgrade the Which House into a giant robot that is also a base, using the Special Police Dekaranger powerbase that can just...do that.
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As part of me having taken over the country, we'll need a functional government! That sounds annoying, so I'll make the entities do it. The F figures out how to make this a cult thing somehow, I blame society shaping and The BRRRRRRanded OnEEEEEEEEE. Specifically, we'll figure out how our cult enforces whatever it's doing! Pretty sure we've had to do that somehow due to the sacrifices but we've done weirder things without tracking it before, plus they wrote down some doctrinal stuff a while back so maybe it got written down. Do we have cult police yet? If not we should probably look into that since we just added the police base function to our base. Other entities act at discretion.
3 - ecneserP ehT shakes off the thick layer of ice covering it, then turns to Eulogo Samint. Eulogo Samint has a lot of HP. And ecneserP ehT needs a lot of HP. It's practically meant to be!
15 - As Eulogo Samint is minding his own business, he suddenly feels a magic spell blast itself into his back as he's knocked back in time roughly 30 pages, followed by ecneserP ehT...
A few seconds later, ecneserP ehT re-emerges from the portal. Eulogo Samint does not.
ecneserP ehT regenerates. The Cat regenerates. ecneserP ehT attacks Eulogo Samint and/or the Pumpkinworld.
?he C?n?? ?ut???? o? ?a???: 30/60
Crafting Spirit Action: The Crafting Spirit uses all its diamonds to craft a Lifelike Godmodder Statue. Actually, it's so lifelike that it makes the Godmodder question his existence! Is he even the real Godmodder? This gives the statue enough time to punch him in the face!
Actions 2 and 3: Oh no! I hate chalkboards! They give me PTSD! I give the Supersoaker Turret a pair of wings (through magical means) and make it fight the monster.
I use the power of posting at the last minute to compress as much snow as possible into the compressor. If it reaches maximum capacity and I have actions left, I do nothing because I forgot lol
Let's talk about geometry and navigation and maps and stuff that's a good replacement topic since 'map known areas' is done charging back in the present.
12 - ecneserP ehT sneaks away from its wounds, which turn into cedar trees once they have nothing they're bound to.
3 - While it's doing this it also sneaks away from the ice that's covering it, which snows on the cedar trees once its quarry disappears.
ecneserP ehT regenerates. The Cat regenerates. ecneserP ehT attacks Mecha-Eulogo Samint and/or the Pumpkinworld.
?he C?n?? ?ut???? o? ?a??n: 33/60
A1: I engineer some of the bananas into a gyroscopic banana plantation. I have no idea what gyroscope-banana hybrids will look like but we'll find out when they grow into trees.
A2: Banana....rotate...I perform the Lancelot-style banana rotation maneuver! The leftover free bananas are now rotating until somebody does something with them.
A3: I give the Godmodder a makeunder kit so he can figure out the relevant beauty rating marring his visage to not end up reflexively bashing it as depiction. It's the Godmodder's problem now! Test bashing/notbashing may or may not prove violent and/or cosmetic.
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The F does research on theocracies and how cults expand. I'm not really sure why or what for, but if we're not a banana republic we'll have to figure out a banana government somehow, especially if the moths decide to join the government. Other entities act at discretion.
Crafting Spirit Action: It's clear crafting will no longer work as an attack. It. is. time. for. VIOLENCE. The Crafting Spirit grabs the Ruined diamond statue and uses it to attack the Medium Laser Cannon. The statue should probably do a lot of damage since it's made of diamonds and the Medium Laser Cannon is presumably made out of metal.
Actions 2 and 3 + Light Staff: I summon Anti-Skin Juice, also known as Idontknowchemisryite Acid, on top of the Spider-Rat-Snake-Human-Monster-?????-Hybrid.