Awesome! I move forward 10 and I land on Boardwalk and purchase it. I use the flower to transform the nearest player into a bee so they're attracted by the nectar of the flower that I plant on Boardwalk, drawing them in and forcing them to pay rent.
I then donate half of the rent from this honey-trap to Waluigi!
I politely inform LeviRocks that I already own both Boardwalk and Park Place. This not only nullifies most of this post, but also means that they owe me $100 in rent. WALUIGIis permitted to cover half of the rent's cost if he feels so inclined, but will not receive a share in Boardwalk profits at the current time.
No, I know that you own it, but I purchase it anyway.
You receive a note:
LeviRocks,
I regret to inform you that no, you don't actually purchase it. As owner of Boardwalk, I alone have the authority to designate it as "for sale" or not, and seeing as I own both dark blue spaces, I think it's pretty obvious that neither of them are for sale. If you continue to attempt to take my property without my consent, my legal team will be after you faster than you can say "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALUIGI!". Consider yourself warned.
SirNatureWriter
Booshmaster and One Ring
And I respond with:
SirNatureWriter, I am sorry to inform you that I am buying your property. You may vacate the premises immediately. The Champion of the Godmodder is claiming your property for fiscal reasons, and so you must, in the name of the Godmodder, hand over your property. This is the last time I'm asking, but if you do not bequeath the estate to me after this notice, you shall not be paid, and the property will be seized.
Sincerely,
The Champion of the Godmodder
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Realizing that everyone has some Monopoly currency except for me, I cast wish to give myself infinite Monopoly currency. Now I begin my turn. One of my rolls was a train, and I fuel said train with a six a rolled. I use the one I rolled to make my train water proof, and I go around the map six times, collecting money every time I pass go. At the end of my turn, I buy go so that whenever someone passes go, they pay me 200 monopoly currency.
The policeman moves 6 spaces from Park Place, and by virtue of whale-ness, disregards the effect that would have prevented moving through go. Size matters, so it seeems...
But not always. We're a little depressed and need to think of how to spend our 200M, just sitting on it for now.
We stop momentarily at Boardwalk to enforce the law. If other police show up, we break out a box of quality not-spider doughnuts to share and talk smack about people like Levi who act like law abiding citizens while pretending we're on a break.
Of couse we have authority to enforce the law since we haven't been fired yet.
Due to the flooding and the fact that moving all six dogs on the chance square would be numerically expensive, the Dogsides pant as they ride in style!
On the Elephant. it is a sturdy elephant, and while the Darkness makes it nervous, the Dogsides seem keen on protecting it rather than preying upon it, and so they enter a strange, uneasy symbiosis.
The Dogsides on the Elephant ride out 3 spaces to reach the Jail! 3 of the Dogs get off the Elephant and become Guardside Dogs for the jail! Not only does this reinforce against escape attempts, but now any inmates must pay a fine of 45 Monopoly Money (Don't know how to do the symbol) per turn to pay for their handling fees! Visitors will also be checked for contraband and, if they have any, will be imprisoned if the Guardside Dogs are not bought off for 100 Monopoly Money per contraband item.
The Dogside not in charge of household chores, such as vacuuming, will move 4 spaces from the Railroad... off the main board space! It does so to get to the mountain in the center of the board and scale partway up the mountain before running out of movement spaces! What's this? There's no spaces for the Dogside to move to the mountain with? Balderdash! This is Paradox Monopoly! Simply by attempting this completely legal move the 4 Spaces in question appear, as well as however many more it takes to move up to the mountaintops.
Meanwhile, the Chainsaw Hewitt uses the fact that it's on the Community Chest to shuffle itself into the Deck! Now there will be a chance that someone will draw Chainsaw Hewitt, either adding Chainsaw Hewitt back to Dogside's hand... or attacking anyone else who draws it!
Awesome! I move forward 10 and I land on Boardwalk and purchase it. I use the flower to transform the nearest player into a bee so they're attracted by the nectar of the flower that I plant on Boardwalk, drawing them in and forcing them to pay rent.
I then donate half of the rent from this honey-trap to Waluigi!
You move forwards 10 to boardwalk and attempt to purchase it! (to be continued) The not-emoji you received is not, however, a Flower. It's not even flower related. If it has a connection to flowers, it is obscure enough that I don't know of it. Your roll for the next round is 2+1+👔.
AND NEITHER DOES THIS, BECAUSE FRIENDSHIP IS (BLACK) MAGIC, AND THE MONOPOLY BOARD IS MOST ASSUREDLY NOT MADE OF FRIENDSHIP. ALSO, DOUBLE POSTING IS AGAINST THE RULES, AS ORANGE LUIGI THREE STATES BELOW.
"Wait, how am I Orange Luigi number 3? There are only two others in the board right now, unless you count red as a share of orange, which just... isn't correct."
Awesome! I move forward 10 and I land on Boardwalk and purchase it. I use the flower to transform the nearest player into a bee so they're attracted by the nectar of the flower that I plant on Boardwalk, drawing them in and forcing them to pay rent.
I then donate half of the rent from this honey-trap to Waluigi!
" Boardwalk is already owned, so theoretically your actions this turn just makes you transform yourself into a bee, get attracted by the nectar, and... yea. Congrats, ya played yourself. Sure Waluigi will appreciate the rent, though. "
Alrighty, then. First thing's first - I... I realize that I've slipped into first person narration on myself, starting as of last turn sometime. Whoops.
Either way - that doesn't matter right now! I need to deal with the Water Works and the minor flooding issue that may overtake the board if I don't do something. Since I'm already on the space, I first cast Alter Self on... well, myself, which I have the ability to do because I am a Sorcerer that is far more skilled than being third level, which is the minimum required to cast this spell. The spell ends up granting me a swim speed, along with temporary amphibiousness, so it's a valid way to move around in the water unhindered. This should last enough for... maybe four turns, or possibly less if I move Concentration to something else (or get hit) - but for now, it works! Using my new-found aquatic capabilities, I go ahead and turn off the water spout of the Water Works, stopping the board from being further waterlogged! This is truly the best use of my time... but anyways. Moving on!
Next thing I do - I use the 💛 I rolled. As I attain the yellow heart - or the soul of Justice, according to a certain indie game - I grant myself it's power! Undertale fans would be screaming right now at the impossibilities of this, stating that I cannot use the soul because I am currently a human, and not a monster! I... well, I give them a second look, really. Along with being an elf by race, which is not a human, I qualify as a monster due to additionally being part fish right now, on top of everything else. Currently, I'm more like a Zora from BoTW than anything... so... Yea. Not human. Monster.
Right. Now that this pre-requisite is out of the way, I absorb the 💛 that I have been given and grant myself unimaginable power!... as quoted in the game's lore. I don't necessarily know what this means for the game, but I am now a being with both a human and monster soul (more or less), which is as stated, extraordinarily powerful. Cool.
Finally, I do things that normal people would do in Monopoly - namely, splitting my roll into 3d4, or a 4, 1, and 2 - and using them in that order to get North Carolina Avenue, moving backwards with the 1 to get Pacific, and then moving forwards 2 to land on the Community Chest. I'll probably do some waterfront stuff with those properties later, but for now, I'll go ahead and roll the dice to end my turn.
WELL, ORANGE LUIGTHREE, WALUIGI HAS BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK ONCE OR TWICE. WALUIGI HAS SEEN LUIGIS BEFORE THIS GAME, AND AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE LUIGIS WAS ALSO ORANGE. DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR PRESSING QUESTION? You then try to turn off the Waterworks. But uh. The tap is kinda broken? that was the thing that happened when Waluigi got trainapulted into it, it broke. So... closing it doesn't work. Then, you absorb the power of JUSTICE! This makes you better at doing things, but only if they are for Justice! You then buy North Carolina Ave, Pacific Ave, and draw a card from the community chest! It reads: Well, that's odd. you get 414M out of it, though!... why 414? Your move roll is 9+🍠! You also get the feeling you'll need better justifications to split your roll up in the future...
I decide change the Jelly Donut into a Spider Donut and then eat the Spider Donut. That’s it.
However, somewhere in the multi-dimensions, a figure stirs. They sense the Spider Donut being eaten, and they come. It’s Muffet and some of her spiders along with her pet. She decides to set up a bake sale that will give people Spider Donuts (🍩) and Spider Cider (🍹) for 9999g. However, she notices no one has gold, and after some quick conversion, has the prices at 999M. All proceeds, however, actually go to my bank account (though no one, not even Muffet knows about this fact). Spider Donuts and Spider Cider do taste nice, and also have special unsaid powers.
I then move to jail, offer WALUIGI a Spider Donut or Spider Cider at half off (only available to those in jail), then move to Pennsylvania Railroad, and pay the fee. I then roll the dice.
You set up Spiderdonut Sales! Waluigi refuses your Spider Donut offer, and you move on the Railroad, paying 25M to the Dogside! Your next roll is 5+5+⛑- Doubles!- Followed by 4+3+🏦! The Doubles open a path to The Snowy Mountain, home of The Cult Of The Inevitable Dogside, on Pennsylvania Railroad!
deciding against property guard seeing how many rounds it would take to get paid, I move from Marvin gardens 8 spaces to park place and buy it for 350 M then plant my printer to start printing money. I use my remaining movement to reach go, then end my turn
You move 8 spaces to Park Place, but later elect not to buy it. You don't pay rent on it, since your move didn't actually have an 'eight' component; no permutation of use without unusual methods would land you on park place, anyway. Without a place of your own, you also don't place the printer down. You do, however, reach Go, gaining 200M. Your next roll is 4+2+☁️.
Awesome! I move forward 10 and I land on Boardwalk and purchase it. I use the flower to transform the nearest player into a bee so they're attracted by the nectar of the flower that I plant on Boardwalk, drawing them in and forcing them to pay rent.
I then donate half of the rent from this honey-trap to Waluigi!
I politely inform LeviRocks that I already own both Boardwalk and Park Place. This not only nullifies most of this post, but also means that they owe me $100 in rent. WALUIGIis permitted to cover half of the rent's cost if he feels so inclined, but will not receive a share in Boardwalk profits at the current time.
No, I know that you own it, but I purchase it anyway.
You receive a note:
LeviRocks,
I regret to inform you that no, you don't actually purchase it. As owner of Boardwalk, I alone have the authority to designate it as "for sale" or not, and seeing as I own both dark blue spaces, I think it's pretty obvious that neither of them are for sale. If you continue to attempt to take my property without my consent, my legal team will be after you faster than you can say "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALUIGI!". Consider yourself warned.
deciding against property guard seeing how many rounds it would take to get paid, I move from Marvin gardens 8 spaces to park place and buy it for 350 M then plant my printer to start printing money. I use my remaining movement to reach go, then end my turn
You receive an almost identical note, with the exception that any mention of Boardwalk becomes Park Place, and vice versa, and also stating that considering I bought it for M550 any price I would potentially list it for in the future (which is unlikely to ever happen) would be considerably higher than 350.
(Also a note for the future, I'd appreciate if you didn't flood the chat with the entirety of JOE's post. The only reason we've been quoting posts is because we've been responding to each other, and frankly it's an unnecessary mess to read through. If you do feel the need to quote his entire post, at least spoiler it first.)
Now my previously scheduled action, seeing as I've dealt with the threat of property theft...
I use eight of my nine movement sprinting across the board, quickly removing the attached pole from the mailbox, giving me a conveniently-removed pole and a - (the wingdings mailbox symbol bound to the '-' key conveniently doesn't have a pole). As I'm about to hit Kentucky Avenue, I use the conveniently-removed pole to vault over Kentucky Avenue and land directly on the Chance square, narrowly avoiding the water (though it wouldn't really matter anyway). I then realized I dropped $18 dollars somewhere over Kentucky Avenue. Whoops, guess that covers the rent for the square I would've landed on. But hey, I get an extra space and potential rewards out of it, so I can't complain.
I then draw a Chance card and roll the dice for my next turn.
Companion Orders: Kinnianne looks to recruit some non-mipedian entities for the cause of the [REBDACTED].
You politely inform LeviRocks of your stance regarding the sale of buildings you have not put up for sale. You then rush along the board to a Chance Square, making use of your Mailbox! The chance square, like all chance squares, is wreathed in an ominous aura. it smells... purple. This is, of course, because Waluigi owns it. You draw a chance card... "Go to join the jailbirds in jail, you unjailed unjailer who threatens to jail the jail-avoiding jumbo boat, and join the jenious and jolly man, WALUIGI!" Which moves you to jail. Your next roll is 4+4+🗾, though, which is a double. This frees you from jail immediately. A new path forms from the Snowy Mountain to Jail... Kinnianne attempts this!
Awesome! I move forward 10 and I land on Boardwalk and purchase it. I use the flower to transform the nearest player into a bee so they're attracted by the nectar of the flower that I plant on Boardwalk, drawing them in and forcing them to pay rent.
I then donate half of the rent from this honey-trap to Waluigi!
I politely inform LeviRocks that I already own both Boardwalk and Park Place. This not only nullifies most of this post, but also means that they owe me $100 in rent. WALUIGIis permitted to cover half of the rent's cost if he feels so inclined, but will not receive a share in Boardwalk profits at the current time.
No, I know that you own it, but I purchase it anyway.
You receive a note:
LeviRocks,
I regret to inform you that no, you don't actually purchase it. As owner of Boardwalk, I alone have the authority to designate it as "for sale" or not, and seeing as I own both dark blue spaces, I think it's pretty obvious that neither of them are for sale. If you continue to attempt to take my property without my consent, my legal team will be after you faster than you can say "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALUIGI!". Consider yourself warned.
SirNatureWriter
Booshmaster and One Ring
And I respond with:
SirNatureWriter, I am sorry to inform you that I am buying your property. You may vacate the premises immediately. The Champion of the Godmodder is claiming your property for fiscal reasons, and so you must, in the name of the Godmodder, hand over your property. This is the last time I'm asking, but if you do not bequeath the estate to me after this notice, you shall not be paid, and the property will be seized.
Realizing that everyone has some Monopoly currency except for me, I cast wish to give myself infinite Monopoly currency. Now I begin my turn. One of my rolls was a train, and I fuel said train with a six a rolled. I use the one I rolled to make my train water proof, and I go around the map six times, collecting money every time I pass go. At the end of my turn, I buy go so that whenever someone passes go, they pay me 200 monopoly currency.
You cast Wish for infinite monopoly currency! HO- WAAAAA- VER, NORMAL MONOPOLY CURRENCY IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH PARADOX MONOPOLY SINCE THE THIRD EDITION BECAUSE OF ALL THE NESTING. INSTEAD, YOU ARE DEALT THE ORDINARY 1500M. UNFORTUNATELY, YOU FAIL TO MAKE YOUR TRAIN WATER PROOF USING THE ONE, BECAUSE IT NEITHER MAKES SENSE, NOR AVOIDS SENSE IN THE AMUSING WAY SOME TECHNIQUES DO. YOUR TRAIN STOPS ON THE BLUE CHANCE SQUARE, DIRECTLY BEFORE THE WATERLOGGED SPACES! THE CARD YOU DRAW ONLY HAS EFFECTS IF YOU OWN A HOUSE, SO THAT'S NOT RELEVANT. LASTLY, YOU ROLL... 5+3+ℹ️, FOR YOUR NEXT TURN
We stop momentarily at Boardwalk to enforce the law. If other police show up, we break out a box of quality not-spider doughnuts to share and talk smack about people like Levi who act like law abiding citizens while pretending we're on a break.
Of couse we have authority to enforce the law since we haven't been fired yet.
And then finally, you, a qualified(?) policeman(?) enforce the(?) law. Presumably this is the law where you can't just walk up to somebody and say "I'm buying your house for 2$" and force them to give you the house. But maybe it's a different law. I, not being myself a policehuperson, wouldn't know for sure.
The policeman moves 6 spaces from Park Place, and by virtue of whale-ness, disregards the effect that would have prevented moving through go. Size matters, so it seeems...
But not always. We're a little depressed and need to think of how to spend our 200M, just sitting on it for now.
You maintain the Whale, as Go was not purchased! You still get 200M, of course. Your next roll is 2+4+🐋! The inevitables also sense, if they didn't notice earlier, that something has changed with the Cult, and new paths have opened up...
Due to the flooding and the fact that moving all six dogs on the chance square would be numerically expensive, the Dogsides pant as they ride in style!
On the Elephant. it is a sturdy elephant, and while the Darkness makes it nervous, the Dogsides seem keen on protecting it rather than preying upon it, and so they enter a strange, uneasy symbiosis.
The Dogsides on the Elephant ride out 3 spaces to reach the Jail! 3 of the Dogs get off the Elephant and become Guardside Dogs for the jail! Not only does this reinforce against escape attempts, but now any inmates must pay a fine of 45 Monopoly Money (THE SYMBOL IS JUST AN 'M' WITH A STRIKETHROUGH THROUGH IT!) per turn to pay for their handling fees! Visitors will also be checked for contraband and, if they have any, will be imprisoned if the Guardside Dogs are not bought off for 100 Monopoly Money per contraband item.
The Dogside not in charge of household chores, such as vacuuming, will move 4 spaces from the Railroad... off the main board space! It does so to get to the mountain in the center of the board and scale partway up the mountain before running out of movement spaces! What's this? There's no spaces for the Dogside to move to the mountain with? Balderdash! This is Paradox Monopoly! Simply by attempting this completely legal move the 4 Spaces in question appear, as well as however many more it takes to move up to the mountaintops.
Meanwhile, the Chainsaw Hewitt uses the fact that it's on the Community Chest to shuffle itself into the Deck! Now there will be a chance that someone will draw Chainsaw Hewitt, either adding Chainsaw Hewitt back to Dogside's hand... or attacking anyone else who draws it!
The various Dogsides move to jail, some becoming Guardsides! Then, the Dogside- I presume the left-board community chest Dogside, from context- moves four spaces. Specifically, they move two down, to the railroad, then climb the mountain! Luckily for this Dogside, MemerAsriel rolled doubles, opening a path to the mountain! The Dogside easily ascends, and finds the mountaintops occupied by a strange cult which seems to be worshipping... them? Chainsaw Hewitt hides in the Community Chest deck! Your roll for the next round is unusually low at 4+3+🔙.(Size increased for legibility, no deeper meaning.)
WALUIGI TIME! WALUIGI ROLLS 5+4+🐗. WALUIGI THEN CALLS UPON THE POWER OF 5, OF 🐗, AND OF 4 TO SUMMON THIRTY TO FIFTY FERAL HOGS. WALUIGI THEN RELEASES THE FERAL HOGS, ALLOWING THEM TO GO HOG WILD OVER THE DOGSIDES ATTEMPTING TO 'MAINTAIN ORDER' OR SOMETHING, BEFORE QUICKLY EXITING THE JAILHOUSE. SINCE THE DOGSIDES DO NOT HAVE AN ASSAULT WEAPON, THEY ARE UNABLE TO DEFEAT THE THIRTY TO FIFTY HOGS WITHIN FIVE MINUTES. WALUIGI DOES NOT NEED ANY MOVEMENT IN ORDER TO EXIT JAIL, DUE TO THE SNOWY PATH LEADING UP THE MOUNTAIN WHICH, AS IT IS NOT PROPER MONOPOLY BOARD SPACES, DOES NOT REQUIRE WALUIGI TO USE PROPER MONOPOLY BOARD MOVEMENT. After Waluigis move, the Water spills out further, spreading all the way to Tennessee and the Luxury Tax space! Anyone who would become on a Waterlogged space- well, aside from Memer Asriel, who prepared for this possibility well in advance, and Torix, who technically did make themselves swimming capable. And Waluigi, as I- he- is simply too tall to balk at such minor flooding.
Current Subgame: Monopoly. Field spell/ Stadium / Land/Arena: None/Waterlogged Monopoly Board. Player-unaligned note: Nature Reserve on Free Parking.
WALUIGI, THE GREAT AND PURPLE. PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth: W AAA AA A Points: 0. Money: 1540 - ???W Cards or other Resources: Electric Company, Waterworks. Indiana Avenue (1 house). Magical Ogre Idle in a tractor. Mediterranean Avenue. All 3 chance squares. Discarded: none. Other: Perpetually Screaming Head Figure. Board Position: Mountain.
SLATE LUILeviRocks PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth: P +++ ++ + Points: 0. Money: 945M Cards or other resources: Miners Railroad (+60M/R!). on a Chance Square. Rolled a 2+1+👔, has ! Marvins Gardens (Marvin! 💷! Red Space! +6*(houses+1) Rent!) Discarded: none Other: Crushed Boat. Board Position: Boardwalk. planted The One Flower on States Ave.
RED LMemer Asriel PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth: P +++ ++ + Points: 0. Money: 1,605M Cards or other resources: Rolled a 5+5+⛑ & 4+3+🏦! owns Illinois ave, Ventnor Ave! All Proceeds of Muffet go to them! Astral Communion! Discarded: none Other: Keyboard in a sailboat! Board position: Pennsylvanian railroad.
NightskyPirate PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth: P +++ ++ + Points: 0. Money: 1,060M Cards or other resources: Rolled a 2+4+🐋, has 🐳. Owns Virginia Ave (1 House), St.Charles Place, New York Ave, and Tennessee Ave! Tax-proof! Discarded: none Other: Face-Down get-out-of-jail-free card? Or maybe discarded that? Board position: Baltic Ave.
SHADODogside PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth: P +++ ++ + Points: 0. Money: 459M Cards or other resources: Rolled a 4+3+🔙, has👏! Owns Jail(rent=45/t. +100 per item.)! Owns all light blue spaces! Owns Pennsylvanian Railroad! Discarded: none Other: Dog. Board position: Jail, Community Chest, and Mountain.
ORANTorix Worldweaver PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth:P +++ ++ + Points: 0. Money: 672M Cards or other resources: Rolled a 9+🍠! has St.James Place, Kentucky Ave, Atlantic Ave, Pacific Ave, N.Carolina Ave! The Power of JUSTICE!!!1!!!one! Discarded: none Other: Board position: Community Chest.
SirNatureWriter PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth:P +++ ++ + Points: 0. Money: 982M Cards or other resources: rolled a 4+4+🗾! Dagger Equipped! Boardwalk and Park Place! Discarded: none Other: Board position: Jail. Is the One Ring. Has Kinnianne.
Squeegeelord PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth:P +++ ++ + Points: 0. Money: 1700M Cards or other resources: rolled a 4+2+☁️! Discarded: none Other: Board position: Go.
TheTrueDM32 PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth:P +++ ++ + Points: 0. Money: 1500M Cards or other resources: rolled a 5+3+ℹ️! Discarded: none Other: Board position: blue chance square.
Using my cloud, I ride to St James place. I then use my 4 to get to free parking and eat lunch in the parking lot. After enjoying my sandwich and chips, I use my 2 to get to the chance space, drawing a card and if I still have my printer from last round I plant it there and print money
edit: I don’t print, seeing as I bought nothing and am not on property
Obviously, the 🏦 symbol means I go directly to Go, disregarding my rolls for now. I collect 200M, and move 10 to Jail. I see the path to the Snowy Mountain, and decide not to go on it. I then move 7 to get another Community Chest card. Now, the firefighter helmet calls firefighters, and they hallucinate and think there’s a fire on the board, and use hoses to “put it out”. The board is now completely flooded.
(Sorry if I missed this in the post above, but was the matter of Boardwalk resolved?)
It was; The Inevitable(s), in the form of a policeperson, enforced the law, causing you to pay 100M for landing on boardwalk, and preventing the attempted purchase/confiscation from going through.
(Sorry if I missed this in the post above, but was the matter of Boardwalk resolved?)
It was; The Inevitable(s), in the form of a policeperson, enforced the law, causing you to pay 100M for landing on boardwalk, and preventing the attempted purchase/confiscation from going through.
Okay, thanks. I pay it, and then take my turn.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Like most, we ignore the problem that is spreading across the board. It is, of course, on the opposite side of the board from us. Not really our problem yet. Instead we invest 200M as required by the Cult for its next undertaking.
It is time to feed The Dogside. We do what we must. And we have ample supply, for our two whales together reproduced to a colony of space whales. Space whale meat, which is entirely illegal, is distributed by people from Snowy Mountain through Pennsylvania Railroad, promising the owner 20% of all profits from the distributed meat. 40% of the profits will be put toward commercial space whale farming advocacy, which is secretly driven by the Cult of the Inevitable Dogside. The whales end their lives by diving into Snowy Mountain from space, using laser pointer technology to blind them at the right moment. Our cult farms them as directed by the Inevitable, for the good of the Dogside. We howl ceremoniously. We will keep 20%.
We even got a logo.
The remaining 20% goes to feed The Dogside. We have a large quantity of space whale meat delivered with us to Connecticut Avenue when our policeman arrives, dutifully paying the rent. The space-meat, is, of course, very dark and suitable for consumption, not just by The Dogside. It appears that eating Space Whales induces latent destructive abilities. We have a sample ourselves, salting it to our liking.
"Tastes like buffalo."
We then realize that space whales landing on a monopoly board might bring it to an end, but that's totally outside our control, and enjoy our meat sample.
We forgot to mention that the cult farms said whales from a secret place (widely known as "space") using lasers that they shine in their eyes at the right moments to cause them to dive to their non-cratery deaths- they try to mitigate the fall using their inertia manipulating fins. We heard that scientists once tried to use said fins for advanced technology and we insist those experiments are fabricated lies because they never officially happened and is, of course, an entirely outlawed practice according to our universe's Grand Mandate to do experiments on space whales, even dead ones.
Having been freed from jail, I move to the community chest. I can't really move any further though... or can I?
I summon the power of anime and islands under my control... JAPAN!!! I posted the image describing what I do in Discord (I can't figure out how to insert images...) but for a brief description, it safely connects the Community Chest to Park Place without risk of flooding over, floods the middle of the board to allow it to actually be an island, but then also lifts Park Place and the Luxury Tax out of the water. Also, a boardwalk is basically a wooden plank that allows for the crossing of wet/marshy land. And considering the board is flooded, I'd say it's pretty wet. Therefore, Boardwalk not only stays afloat above the flooding, but any houses can be built on Hokkaido itself, as it's partially covering the housing space! Also, I've ensured my SOLD signs are weighed down so that I still own the property after this geological summon.
Also, because I own Honshu, I also own everything on Honshu, which is also part of the dark blue. So I now own Luxury Tax too.
And everything on Honshu is dark blue. Everything else on Japan is owned by me and is of the JAPAN! color wait, japan isn't a-
Too bad, it is now.
With that out of the way, I move from Community Chest to Kyushu with my last space of movement.
Entity Orders: Kinianne ensures the safety of my properties as the geological shift occurs.
The Dogsides on the elephant move off the board completely. Is there an elphant themed game the Elephant is moving towards? We don't know! The Dogsides sure don't.
The Dogside on the mountain, though, has the heroic looking scarf. Even though he's a villain, technically.
But that doesn't stop what happens next. I'll spare you the details and just say...
That the Dogside :clap:s Waluigi's Screaming Head token, causing direct damage to Waluigi's Paradox Monopoly health! It seems the Dogside has grown tired of these shenanigans and is getting a bit more aggressive!
The Dogside in charge of the house is trying to doggy paddle back to it, space whale meat in mouth, but they get caught staying on the same space due to the flow of the water.
Moving forward 7 spaces, I land on Vermont Avenue. I purchase it, and use my teacup to transform my new property to Victorian Avenue, which is now stylized around Victorian England. I settle down for awhile, drinking tea to prepare myself for the mayoral race.
ok, that doesn't make any sense at all, but I'll take it
ni! (that's a link, click it).
I like spell points.
Please ignore my old homebrew, and for the love of every god out there don't use it.
I (used to, it's kinda dead now) participate in the Level 20 Gladiator Arena with a nameless hero (actually I think I deleted him, whoops).
And I respond with:
SirNatureWriter, I am sorry to inform you that I am buying your property. You may vacate the premises immediately. The Champion of the Godmodder is claiming your property for fiscal reasons, and so you must, in the name of the Godmodder, hand over your property. This is the last time I'm asking, but if you do not bequeath the estate to me after this notice, you shall not be paid, and the property will be seized.
Sincerely,
The Champion of the Godmodder
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
Realizing that everyone has some Monopoly currency except for me, I cast wish to give myself infinite Monopoly currency. Now I begin my turn. One of my rolls was a train, and I fuel said train with a six a rolled. I use the one I rolled to make my train water proof, and I go around the map six times, collecting money every time I pass go. At the end of my turn, I buy go so that whenever someone passes go, they pay me 200 monopoly currency.
Do we have to wait for JOEbobobob to post again to move if we already did?
Yes, because he tells us our rolls
Ahhh yes
The policeman moves 6 spaces from Park Place, and by virtue of whale-ness, disregards the effect that would have prevented moving through go. Size matters, so it seeems...
But not always. We're a little depressed and need to think of how to spend our 200
M, just sitting on it for now.We stop momentarily at Boardwalk to enforce the law. If other police show up, we break out a box of quality not-spider doughnuts to share and talk smack about people like Levi who act like law abiding citizens while pretending we're on a break.
Of couse we have authority to enforce the law since we haven't been fired yet.
Due to the flooding and the fact that moving all six dogs on the chance square would be numerically expensive, the Dogsides pant as they ride in style!
On the Elephant. it is a sturdy elephant, and while the Darkness makes it nervous, the Dogsides seem keen on protecting it rather than preying upon it, and so they enter a strange, uneasy symbiosis.
The Dogsides on the Elephant ride out 3 spaces to reach the Jail! 3 of the Dogs get off the Elephant and become Guardside Dogs for the jail! Not only does this reinforce against escape attempts, but now any inmates must pay a fine of 45 Monopoly Money (Don't know how to do the symbol) per turn to pay for their handling fees! Visitors will also be checked for contraband and, if they have any, will be imprisoned if the Guardside Dogs are not bought off for 100 Monopoly Money per contraband item.
The Dogside not in charge of household chores, such as vacuuming, will move 4 spaces from the Railroad... off the main board space! It does so to get to the mountain in the center of the board and scale partway up the mountain before running out of movement spaces! What's this? There's no spaces for the Dogside to move to the mountain with? Balderdash! This is Paradox Monopoly! Simply by attempting this completely legal move the 4 Spaces in question appear, as well as however many more it takes to move up to the mountaintops.
Meanwhile, the Chainsaw Hewitt uses the fact that it's on the Community Chest to shuffle itself into the Deck! Now there will be a chance that someone will draw Chainsaw Hewitt, either adding Chainsaw Hewitt back to Dogside's hand... or attacking anyone else who draws it!
You move forwards 10 to boardwalk and attempt to purchase it! (to be continued) The not-emoji you received is not, however, a Flower. It's not even flower related. If it has a connection to flowers, it is obscure enough that I don't know of it. Your roll for the next round is 2+1+👔.
WELL, ORANGE LUIGTHREE, WALUIGI HAS BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK ONCE OR TWICE. WALUIGI HAS SEEN LUIGIS BEFORE THIS GAME, AND AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE LUIGIS WAS ALSO ORANGE. DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR PRESSING QUESTION?
You then try to turn off the Waterworks. But uh. The tap is kinda broken? that was the thing that happened when Waluigi got trainapulted into it, it broke. So... closing it doesn't work.
Then, you absorb the power of JUSTICE! This makes you better at doing things, but only if they are for Justice!
You then buy North Carolina Ave, Pacific Ave, and draw a card from the community chest! It reads:
Well, that's odd. you get 414
Mout of it, though!... why 414?Your move roll is 9+🍠! You also get the feeling you'll need better justifications to split your roll up in the future...
You set up Spiderdonut Sales! Waluigi refuses your Spider Donut offer, and you move on the Railroad, paying 25
Mto the Dogside! Your next roll is 5+5+⛑- Doubles!- Followed by 4+3+🏦! The Doubles open a path to The Snowy Mountain, home of The Cult Of The Inevitable Dogside, on Pennsylvania Railroad!You move 8 spaces to Park Place, but later elect not to buy it. You don't pay rent on it, since your move didn't actually have an 'eight' component; no permutation of use without unusual methods would land you on park place, anyway. Without a place of your own, you also don't place the printer down. You do, however, reach Go, gaining 200
M.Your next roll is 4+2+☁️.
You politely inform LeviRocks of your stance regarding the sale of buildings you have not put up for sale.
You then rush along the board to a Chance Square, making use of your Mailbox! The chance square, like all chance squares, is wreathed in an ominous aura. it smells... purple. This is, of course, because Waluigi owns it. You draw a chance card...
"Go to join the jailbirds in jail, you unjailed unjailer who threatens to jail the jail-avoiding jumbo boat, and join the jenious and jolly man, WALUIGI!"
Which moves you to jail.
Your next roll is 4+4+🗾, though, which is a double. This frees you from jail immediately. A new path forms from the Snowy Mountain to Jail...
Kinnianne attempts this!
Yeah, that's the spirit! If you'd like to join, your first roll is/will be 2+5+🖌.
You reply with a threat...
You cast Wish for infinite monopoly currency! HO- WAAAAA- VER, NORMAL MONOPOLY CURRENCY IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH PARADOX MONOPOLY SINCE THE THIRD EDITION BECAUSE OF ALL THE NESTING. INSTEAD, YOU ARE DEALT THE ORDINARY 1500M. UNFORTUNATELY, YOU FAIL TO MAKE YOUR TRAIN WATER PROOF USING THE ONE, BECAUSE IT NEITHER MAKES SENSE, NOR AVOIDS SENSE IN THE AMUSING WAY SOME TECHNIQUES DO. YOUR TRAIN STOPS ON THE BLUE CHANCE SQUARE, DIRECTLY BEFORE THE WATERLOGGED SPACES! THE CARD YOU DRAW ONLY HAS EFFECTS IF YOU OWN A HOUSE, SO THAT'S NOT RELEVANT. LASTLY, YOU ROLL... 5+3+ℹ️, FOR YOUR NEXT TURN
And then finally, you, a qualified(?) policeman(?) enforce the(?) law. Presumably this is the law where you can't just walk up to somebody and say "I'm buying your house for 2$" and force them to give you the house. But maybe it's a different law. I, not being myself a policehuperson, wouldn't know for sure.
You maintain the Whale, as Go was not purchased! You still get 200
M, of course. Your next roll is 2+4+🐋! The inevitables also sense, if they didn't notice earlier, that something has changed with the Cult, and new paths have opened up...The various Dogsides move to jail, some becoming Guardsides! Then, the Dogside- I presume the left-board community chest Dogside, from context- moves four spaces. Specifically, they move two down, to the railroad, then climb the mountain! Luckily for this Dogside, MemerAsriel rolled doubles, opening a path to the mountain! The Dogside easily ascends, and finds the mountaintops occupied by a strange cult which seems to be worshipping... them?
! Marvins Gardens (Marvin! 💷! Red Space! +6*(houses+1) Rent!)
Chainsaw Hewitt hides in the Community Chest deck! Your roll for the next round is unusually low at 4+3+🔙.(Size increased for legibility, no deeper meaning.)
WALUIGI TIME! WALUIGI ROLLS 5+4+🐗. WALUIGI THEN CALLS UPON THE POWER OF 5, OF 🐗, AND OF 4 TO SUMMON THIRTY TO FIFTY FERAL HOGS. WALUIGI THEN RELEASES THE FERAL HOGS, ALLOWING THEM TO GO HOG WILD OVER THE DOGSIDES ATTEMPTING TO 'MAINTAIN ORDER' OR SOMETHING, BEFORE QUICKLY EXITING THE JAILHOUSE. SINCE THE DOGSIDES DO NOT HAVE AN ASSAULT WEAPON, THEY ARE UNABLE TO DEFEAT THE THIRTY TO FIFTY HOGS WITHIN FIVE MINUTES. WALUIGI DOES NOT NEED ANY MOVEMENT IN ORDER TO EXIT JAIL, DUE TO THE SNOWY PATH LEADING UP THE MOUNTAIN WHICH, AS IT IS NOT PROPER MONOPOLY BOARD SPACES, DOES NOT REQUIRE WALUIGI TO USE PROPER MONOPOLY BOARD MOVEMENT.
After Waluigis move, the Water spills out further, spreading all the way to Tennessee and the Luxury Tax space! Anyone who would become on a Waterlogged space- well, aside from Memer Asriel, who prepared for this possibility well in advance, and Torix, who technically did make themselves swimming capable. And Waluigi, as I- he- is simply too tall to balk at such minor flooding.
Current Subgame: Monopoly.
Field spell/ Stadium / Land/Arena: None/Waterlogged Monopoly Board.
Player-unaligned note: Nature Reserve on Free Parking.
WALUIGI, THE GREAT AND PURPLE.
PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth: W AAA AA A
Points: 0. Money: 1540 - ???
WCards or other Resources: Electric Company, Waterworks. Indiana Avenue (1 house). Magical Ogre Idle in a tractor. Mediterranean Avenue. All 3 chance squares.
Discarded: none.
Other: Perpetually Screaming Head Figure. Board Position: Mountain.
SLATE LUILeviRocks
PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth: P +++ ++ +
Points: 0. Money: 945
MCards or other resources: Miners Railroad (+60
M/R!). on a Chance Square. Rolled a 2+1+👔, hasDiscarded: none
Other: Crushed Boat. Board Position: Boardwalk. planted The One Flower on States Ave.
RED LMemer Asriel
PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth: P +++ ++ +
Points: 0. Money: 1,605
MCards or other resources: Rolled a 5+5+⛑ & 4+3+🏦! owns Illinois ave, Ventnor Ave! All Proceeds of Muffet go to them! Astral Communion!
Discarded: none
Other: Keyboard in a sailboat! Board position: Pennsylvanian railroad.
NightskyPirate
PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth: P +++ ++ +
Points: 0. Money: 1,060
MCards or other resources: Rolled a 2+4+🐋, has 🐳. Owns Virginia Ave (1 House), St.Charles Place, New York Ave, and Tennessee Ave! Tax-proof!
Discarded: none
Other: Face-Down get-out-of-jail-free card? Or maybe discarded that? Board position: Baltic Ave.
SHADODogside
PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth: P +++ ++ +
Points: 0. Money: 459
MCards or other resources: Rolled a 4+3+🔙, has👏! Owns Jail(rent=45/t. +100 per item.)! Owns all light blue spaces! Owns Pennsylvanian Railroad!
Discarded: none
Other: Dog. Board position: Jail, Community Chest, and Mountain.
ORANTorix Worldweaver
PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth: P +++ ++ +
Points: 0. Money: 672
MCards or other resources: Rolled a 9+🍠! has St.James Place, Kentucky Ave, Atlantic Ave, Pacific Ave, N.Carolina Ave! The Power of JUSTICE!!!1!!!one!
Discarded: none
Other: Board position: Community Chest.
SirNatureWriter
PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth: P +++ ++ +
Points: 0. Money: 982
MCards or other resources: rolled a 4+4+🗾! Dagger Equipped! Boardwalk and Park Place!
Discarded: none
Other: Board position: Jail. Is the One Ring. Has Kinnianne.
Squeegeelord
PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth: P +++ ++ +
Points: 0. Money: 1700
MCards or other resources: rolled a 4+2+☁️!
Discarded: none
Other: Board position: Go.
TheTrueDM32
PBVPR4DHCTwMTHealth: P +++ ++ +
Points: 0. Money: 1500
MCards or other resources: rolled a 5+3+ℹ️!
Discarded: none
Other: Board position: blue chance square.
Using my cloud, I ride to St James place. I then use my 4 to get to free parking and eat lunch in the parking lot. After enjoying my sandwich and chips, I use my 2 to get to the chance space, drawing a card and if I still have my printer from last round I plant it there and print money
edit: I don’t print, seeing as I bought nothing and am not on property
Obviously, the 🏦 symbol means I go directly to Go, disregarding my rolls for now. I collect 200M, and move 10 to Jail. I see the path to the Snowy Mountain, and decide not to go on it. I then move 7 to get another Community Chest card. Now, the firefighter helmet calls firefighters, and they hallucinate and think there’s a fire on the board, and use hoses to “put it out”. The board is now completely flooded.
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[A]
(Sorry if I missed this in the post above, but was the matter of Boardwalk resolved?)
Please check out my homebrew, I would appreciate feedback:
Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
It was; The Inevitable(s), in the form of a policeperson, enforced the law, causing you to pay 100
Mfor landing on boardwalk, and preventing the attempted purchase/confiscation from going through.Okay, thanks. I pay it, and then take my turn.
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Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
I pass go, and collect my money. I land on Community Chest, and draw my card.
Next, I take my button-up shirt and tie, wear it, and start running for mayor so that I can change the rules.
(Whatever that flower-looking non-emogi thing is, I don't know, but I'll wear it like a flower on my suit)
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Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms
Like most, we ignore the problem that is spreading across the board. It is, of course, on the opposite side of the board from us. Not really our problem yet. Instead we invest 200
Mas required by the Cult for its next undertaking.It is time to feed The Dogside. We do what we must. And we have ample supply, for our two whales together reproduced to a colony of space whales. Space whale meat, which is entirely illegal, is distributed by people from Snowy Mountain through Pennsylvania Railroad, promising the owner 20% of all profits from the distributed meat. 40% of the profits will be put toward commercial space whale farming advocacy, which is secretly driven by the Cult of the Inevitable Dogside. The whales end their lives by diving into Snowy Mountain from space, using laser pointer technology to blind them at the right moment. Our cult farms them as directed by the Inevitable, for the good of the Dogside. We howl ceremoniously. We will keep 20%.
We even got a logo.
The remaining 20% goes to feed The Dogside. We have a large quantity of space whale meat delivered with us to Connecticut Avenue when our policeman arrives, dutifully paying the rent. The space-meat, is, of course, very dark and suitable for consumption, not just by The Dogside. It appears that eating Space Whales induces latent destructive abilities. We have a sample ourselves, salting it to our liking.
"Tastes like buffalo."
We then realize that space whales landing on a monopoly board might bring it to an end, but that's totally outside our control, and enjoy our meat sample.
We forgot to mention that the cult farms said whales from a secret place (widely known as "space") using lasers that they shine in their eyes at the right moments to cause them to dive to their non-cratery deaths- they try to mitigate the fall using their inertia manipulating fins. We heard that scientists once tried to use said fins for advanced technology and we insist those experiments are fabricated lies because they never officially happened and is, of course, an entirely outlawed practice according to our universe's Grand Mandate to do experiments on space whales, even dead ones.
Having been freed from jail, I move to the community chest. I can't really move any further though...
or can I?
I summon the power of anime and islands under my control... JAPAN!!!
I posted the image describing what I do in Discord (I can't figure out how to insert images...) but for a brief description, it safely connects the Community Chest to Park Place without risk of flooding over, floods the middle of the board to allow it to actually be an island, but then also lifts Park Place and the Luxury Tax out of the water. Also, a boardwalk is basically a wooden plank that allows for the crossing of wet/marshy land. And considering the board is flooded, I'd say it's pretty wet.
Therefore, Boardwalk not only stays afloat above the flooding, but any houses can be built on Hokkaido itself, as it's partially covering the housing space! Also, I've ensured my SOLD signs are weighed down so that I still own the property after this geological summon.
Also, because I own Honshu, I also own everything on Honshu, which is also part of the dark blue. So I now own Luxury Tax too.
And everything on Honshu is dark blue. Everything else on Japan is owned by me and is of the JAPAN! color
wait, japan isn't a-Too bad, it is now.
With that out of the way, I move from Community Chest to Kyushu with my last space of movement.
Entity Orders: Kinianne ensures the safety of my properties as the geological shift occurs.
Dogside.
uh.
shit I don't have time for this
Dogsides take their space whale meat and....
...
The Dogsides on the elephant move off the board completely. Is there an elphant themed game the Elephant is moving towards? We don't know! The Dogsides sure don't.
The Dogside on the mountain, though, has the heroic looking scarf. Even though he's a villain, technically.
But that doesn't stop what happens next. I'll spare you the details and just say...
That the Dogside :clap:s Waluigi's Screaming Head token, causing direct damage to Waluigi's Paradox Monopoly health! It seems the Dogside has grown tired of these shenanigans and is getting a bit more aggressive!
The Dogside in charge of the house is trying to doggy paddle back to it, space whale meat in mouth, but they get caught staying on the same space due to the flow of the water.
I purchase Mediterranean Avenue.
Moving forward 7 spaces, I land on Vermont Avenue. I purchase it, and use my teacup to transform my new property to Victorian Avenue, which is now stylized around Victorian England. I settle down for awhile, drinking tea to prepare myself for the mayoral race.
Edit: I am partially a boat, so I should float.
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Spells, Monsters, Subclasses, Races, Arcknight Class, Occultist Class, World, Enigmatic Esoterica forms