I am looking for examples of play preferably from experienced players.  To make a long story short my players are all new and they basically would tpk about 80% of the time if I did not baby them.  I am not looking to blame anyone (mostly my fault I bet) but I could really use some examples to help them learn to -check for traps; -listen at doors, not run away screaming if you see a monster while scouting ahead, -not think that you should be able to get surprise every room you go into, etc.

My advice is that from what I have seen some people just stick to acting in that way as a playstyle.  You could go easy on them and give them minor annoyance traps that deal a 1d6 damage when they trigger it instead of 10d6 or something that would take them out.  This is almost a dm type question though.  If you are writing the material assuming that they will do this you just need to accept that they won't act like seasoned pros.  Just remember that the most important thing is that they and you are having fun.  Who cares if you aren't playing dark souls.