This magical tome appears to contain several spell scrolls. Each scroll can be used once per day, and regenerates daily at dawn. In reality, the spells are inscribed wrong, and their effects vary wildly from the intended. When one of these scrolls are used the DM reveals the spell's true effect.
Message / Massage. The target receives a pleasant back rub.
Mage Armor / Mage Armoire. Summons a fancy wardrobe adjacent to the caster, containing three sets of clothes. Roll a 1d20 three times. On a result of 1, the clothes are common quality. On a result of 2-10, the clothes are traveler's quality. On a result of 11-15, the clothes are costume quality, on a result of 16-19, the clothes are fine quality. On a result of 20, the clothes are a magic set of robes, clothes or armor determined by the DM.
Hold Person / Fold Person. The target must succeed a Wisdom saving throw or be bent over backwards. On a failed save, the target takes 4d6 damage and is paralyzed for one round.
Speak With Dead / Speak With Dad. For one minute you can communicate telepathically with your father, regardless of whether they are dead or alive.
Ice Storm / Ick Storm. Gross sludge rains down for one minute creating difficult terrain in a 20 foot radius.
Teleport / Telepoot. Creates a loud fart at the intended location.
Wish / Wash. A wet sponge cleans you vigorously for one minute.
Fireball / Friarball. Conjures and launches a clergyman at the target, dealing 8d6 bludgeoning damage on a failed Dexterity saving throw. The conjured friar is holding its knees and tumbles end over end while screaming religious platitudes during its flight, and lies still after hitting the target. It is a nonliving magical construct, and upon closer inspection, it appears to be made of painted wood and dyed cloth.
Magic Missile/ Magic Rissole. Instead of missiles of force, shoots three delicious baked circular balls of minced meat or fish, enclosed in pastry or rolled in breadcrumbs.
Previous Versions
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Coming Soon
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Posted Jun 29, 2019Please add Counterspell/counter-smell.
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Posted Sep 19, 2019Hilarious. I love gag magic items.
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Posted Dec 11, 2020This is so stupid! I love it!
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Posted Jan 5, 2021this deserves more attention. i think something like power word heal/power word heel would be an interesting addition
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Posted Jan 14, 2021This is nothing short of awesomesauce.
Its going in tomorrow night's game.
Thank you!
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Posted Jan 14, 2021Definitely!
We need more misspells!
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Posted Jan 21, 2021Our DM let us buy it for 51 GP before realizing how powerful it actually was. It's one of my favorite magical items.
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Posted Jan 22, 2021Haha you're welcome!
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Posted Mar 19, 2021This is hilarious! I'm thinking to make a slightly different version where you can use your reaction to change someone else's spell (or your own, even though I'm not sure if you can use your reaction on your turn while you are casting a spell). Something like "Toxic Quill of the Grammar Troll" and if the spell you are modifying is above 3rd level you have to make an ability check with your spellcasting modifier with a DC of 10 + the spell level. It could be slightly game breaking, but my group is all close friends so if it needs to be changed that won't be a problem lol
Edit: Oh and I'm thinking to have it as a once per day or set number of charges type of thing.
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Posted Mar 19, 2021Sounds like a modified wish and the DM could probably mulligan anything too powerful! That'd be a very fun item! Why counterspell that fireball when you can turn it into a tyre stall?
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Posted Mar 20, 2021Hmm, that makes me think I'll need to add a curse onto it so it isn't too broken. Maybe each time they use it they have a chance to become more and more like an internet troll (correcting people for the littlest of things, etc.)
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Posted Mar 21, 2021This is my favorite magic item.
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Posted Jun 26, 2021This is pure gold, up voting.
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Posted Aug 5, 2021I'm almost crying with laughter over here--FOLD PERSON
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Posted Sep 20, 2021Plain shift/Plan shift. Nothing happens. You need a new plan.
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Posted Dec 6, 2021This has to be the funniest homebrew item I've ever seen, I am FOR SURE including this in my game. Thank you for this wonderful idea you genius.
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Posted Dec 8, 2021-
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Posted Mar 26, 2022I don't have a subscription, so I can't add this to my collection, but I love it so much I'm going to copy and paste it into a private homebrew, while still leaving your name there of course.
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Posted Mar 27, 2022Enjoy!
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Posted Jun 1, 2022I don't really like the fireball/friarball thing, so here is an alternative: fireball/fryerball.
A blast of boiling water and bread crumbs explodes in a 20-foot-radius sphere within range. Each creature within range must make a Dexterity saving throw. A target takes 6d6 fire damage on a failed save, as well as suffering an additional effect: it's skin becomes covered in crusty bread crumbs until the end of your next turn, lowering it's speed to 10, if it isn't already that or lower. in addition, it cannot burrow, climb, swim, fly or crawl. A successful save prevents half the damage, and any creature targeted can use a bonus action to break out of the crusty shell.
The frying oil spreads around corners.
In addition, all uncooked meat within range becomes deep fried to perfection, mechanically doubling all rations within range.
At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, the damage increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 3rd.