Bessie

Bessie has been pumped full of growth hormone and caused the Big Bang. Every time she yawns a new World War starts. If you let her 100 times in succession, the world will end, same goes if she takes 100 consent steps, but luckily she levitates most of the time. She can steal your heart in an instant, both literally, metaphorically, and metaversephorically. She can make you kneecap’nt in .5 milliseconds. She can transform at will into anything she desires. She will crawl into your room at 3 am and give you a purple nurple and a wet willie, then slink back out the window, this mean you have been blessed by her. When you milk her, only butter comes out. When having the Not-So-Last Supper with her disciples, her blood was the Sprite Cranberry, and her flesh was the Big Mac. If you are unworthy, the Big Mac will give you an instant heart attack and LeBron James will break into your house. Scientologists wish Bessie liked them.

Bessie. Bessie Attack:  She can do too many things, so we had to put it all in one category. Roll ♾d♾.

She can turn her head 360°, do the Pennywise mouth thing, tear off her flesh to become the Terminator, aggressively do any Fortnite dance, and cha cha real smooth.

Bessie. Nuff said.