Average Home Depo Employee

High Density Concrete Will: The Average Home Depo Employee will not attacked unless provoked...or someone says that Lowe's is better, in which case he immediately becomes enraged.

More Saving: The Average Home Depo Employee cannot be bought, sold, or convinced. He is a man (Or woman) of PURE conviction that cannot be swayed by any means, even the dirty ones. (I'm looking at you, filthy succubus). 

More Doing: As an Average Home Depo Employee, the Average Home Depo Employee has resistance to all forms of damage due to their continuous support to their company They received this gift after 20 years of hard work in addition to a nice flower basket filled with sweets. 

That's the power of Home Depo: Due to the absolute gnarly power of the Average Home Depo Employee, the Average Home Depo Employee has a permanent +20 to all chance to hits, effetely making him Home Depo's strongest soldier.

The Average Home Depo Employee can make up to 3 attacks of any kind. 

Sledgehammer Skull-Cracker Melee Weapon Attack: +10 to hit, reach 15 ft., 2 targets. Hit: 99 (15d20 + 20) bludgeoning  damage. 

Sawblade Launcher. Ranged Weapon Attack: +10 to hit, range 100/1,000 ft., 3 Targets. Hit: 99 (10d20 + 25) Slashing,  damage.

Improvised Nuclear Bomb: Ranged Weapon Attack: +20 to hit, Range 10,000 / 100,000 ft. All Targets Hit: 1,000 (100d20) Nuclear, Force, Explosion damage

The Final Stand: This can be done if the Average Home Depo Employee has taken a single or any point of damage. The Average Home Depo Employee self-combusts instantly and anyone within 1,000 feet dealing 100d100 explosion damage. 

Asked to leave: As a Bonus action, the Average Home Depo Employee may roll a persuasion check with +18 to CHR and if succeeds may ask one enemy of their choice to leave the store due to their unruly and disruptive behavior. They have no option. Leave. Now. Or else.

Forklift Certified: As a bonus action the Average Home Depo Employee may summon a large Forklift and show off his certification letting everyone know how cool as heck this dude is. This makes them so incredibly sad that they receive a -10 to all rolls. Everything. 

Supreme Customer Service: As a reaction the Average Home Depo Employee may literally stop time to prevent an attack from hitting him, approach the person attacking and try and persuade them if there is any way they can stop attacking him for some sort of benefit or credit on Home Depo merchandise.