Arcane Misfortune.
If Crunmp is given any form of healing (including spells that bring creatures back to life such as Revivify or Animate Undead), any form of temporary hitpoints, or any bonus to AC, he is immediately targeted by a 9th-Level Magic Missile that can only hit him. Additionally, Crunmp is immune to the Polymorph spell and attempting to Polymorph other creatures into Crunmp will automatically fail.
Frail Bones.
If Crunmp holds, carries or wears any object that weighs more than a fifth of a pound, all of his bones will immediately break and he will take 1d4 flat damage instantly. The only exception to this is a Flute, which he can use to play at a -18 penalty to any roll made using a Flute.
You Monster.
If a creature succeeds a DC 10 Perception or Investigation check to understand what Crunmp is, the DM must give his Statblock to the Player to read, but upon the player reading this ability, Crunmp will immediately take 1 psychic damage.
Pathetic Bap.
Unarmed Attack: [-20] to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 0 (0d4) Bludgeoning damage.
Cry.
As a reaction to any Action or Skill Check performed within 10 feet of Crunmp, he can cry and do nothing else for the rest of the round, and if his turn comes after he starts crying, he will spend both his action and bonus action to continue crying. He will stop crying after 10 minutes if not broken out of this state with a DC 25 Intimidation, Deception or Persuasion check. When Crunmp starts crying, and while he is crying, he has resistance to Psychic damage.
Description
There was once a great wizard of incredible renown, power, and magical ability. Out of sheer boredom, he decided to create the absolute most pathetic creature imaginable. Crunmp was the unfortunate result of this, and was considered a failure by the wizard for he was so incredibly pathetic at everything, he was even pathetic at being pathetic. He was thus, promptly, kicked out of the Wizards domain. How he ended up anywhere is as good of a guess as yours.
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