| Mod | Save | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| STR | 8 | −1 | −1 |
| DEX | 13 | +1 | +1 |
| CON | 20 | +5 | +5 |
| Mod | Save | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| INT | 6 | −2 | −2 |
| WIS | 13 | +1 | +1 |
| CHA | 15 | +2 | +2 |
Extra-Dimensional Stomach. Chompsky can consume and digest any object or creature that is large or smaller, with a maximum weight of 900 lbs.
- Anything swallowed in this manner is transported to a pocket dimension (similar to a bag of holding, but full of stomach acid and hostile parasites).
- Items and creatures remain inside for 14 days, or until expelled via Gift Giving.
- Chompsky can only contain one living creature at a time. If he takes 30 or more damage in one turn, that creature is immediately regurgitated.
Consume. Melee Attack: +5 to hit, reach 10 ft., 1 target. Hit: 22 (3d10 + 5) acid damage. Chompsky unhinges his jaw until his nose touches his spine, revealing five tentacle-like limbs and two secondary mouths inside his throat.
On a hit, Chompsky grapples the target. The grappled creature must then succeed on a DC 19 Strength saving throw at the start of Chompsky’s next turn or be swallowed. A swallowed creature is pulled into an extra-dimensional space filled with acid and parasites. If the creature escapes the grapple before being swallowed, it takes 3d10 + 5 acid damage from interior jaws.
Chompsky may also attempt to consume a single object within reach, as long as it is not being worn or carried and does not exceed the size or weight limit. Non-magical items automatically fail the saving throw. Magical items that are attuned require the attuned creature to succeed on a DC 19 Wisdom saving throw to prevent consumption.
Gift Giving. Whenever Chompsky receives exceptionally good pets, he may use his reaction to sit at the feet of the petter, wag his tail slowly, and vomit up an item he consumed in the last 14 days.
Roll 1d12 on the Digestive Contents Table. On a 12, roll twice and receive both results.
Chompsky then looks up at the petter, tail still wagging, waiting for approval.
Digestive Contents Table (1d12)
| d12 | Item |
|---|---|
| 1 | A cracked monocle that allows the wearer to see invisible ink -- but only if it's written in Celestial |
| 2 | A tiny wedding cake topper depicting two figures that look exactly like the creature who rolled on the table and a stranger they've never met |
| 3 | A glowing copper coin stamped with the current date... exactly 1 year in the future |
| 4 | A finger necklace strung on sinew. The fingers twitch occasionally and seem to "point" at people who are lying |
| 5 | A silver harmonica that plays sad songs all on its own when left unattended. The air around it is always just a bit colder |
| 6 | A taxidermy rat with a faded red cape and a tiny brass crown perched on its head. It smells faintly of lavender |
| 7 | A slice of angel food cake wrapped in wax paper. A tag attached to it reads, "Do not eat until the stars are right" |
| 8 | A skeleton key that doesn't open any mundane locks but will open metaphorical ones (DM's discretion) |
| 9 | A stone six-sided die that always rolls a 7 -- and screams softly when it lands |
| 10 | A folded paper swan that, when placed in water, unfolds into a love letter written by someone the user has never met |
| 11 | A jar of sand, still warm, that whispers the last thing it heard -- in reverse |
| 12 | Roll again and take 2 of the result (reroll additional 12s) |
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Description
Avram Nomnom Chompsky, better known as Chompsky, is a member of the rare fey species known as a Wagwretch — extra-dimensional anomalies shaped like adorable dachshunds with unknowable stomachs and extremely good manners.
Chompsky is Dr. Funk's, of Dr. Funk's Cure-All, best friend and "guard dog".
Chompsky is calm to a fault, and though deeply loyal to Dr. Funk, except when customers give good pets. He will always favor customers who give exceptionally good pets, particularly on the head and ears (tolerates belly rubs) (will bite you if you touch his tail, 1 piercing damage). When especially pleased, he offers going-away gifts by vomiting up objects, living creatures, and sometimes secrets from his stomach pocket dimension.
He's a very heavy sleeper. He does snore, and it sounds like low inter-dimensional static. Occasionally he'll speak backwards Celestial in his sleep.
And despite how cute he is, he is functionally immune to conventional physical harm.
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Posted Jun 5, 2025Dr. Funks Cure-IO not Cure-All