Van

Not  Autonomous: The car cannot make any checks without a driver. Anyone without land vehicle proficiency will have disadvantage on all attacks, saves and checks. It also does not have a passive Perception or insight. 

Inanimate: The Van is unaffected by spells or abilities that target sentient creatures. It uses the initiative of its driver.  

Armored: This car is covered in armor fit for the car. It gains a DT of 15 and resistance to non-magical Bludgeoning, Slashing, and Piercing DMG, As well as an AC buff

Mirrored/tinted windows: The windows of the car have been modded to be tinted and mirrored. All affects that involve light cannot effect the occupants of the car, and the people inside the car gain total cover for spell effects that require sight. This ability does not function if a window is rolled down. Spell effects that work based on light do not affect the car when the windows are targeted. 

Ram: The car does not take any damage for ramming Small or medium creatures, and half from larger creatures. It also deals additional damage.

Driveby: The car does not take opportunity attacks if it is going 30ft faster than the creature it is passing, the creature cannot react fast enough to take opportunity attacks

Mishap: This car is a vehicle, and can suffer problems when it takes a large amount of damage in one attack. When the car takes 30 Damage or more from one attack, it suffers a mishap, and the table below must be rolled, taking effect after the rest of the attack. For the purposes of clarity, attacks like Eldritch Blast, Scorching Ray, or multiple attacks such as the Extra attack abilities do not add together to hit the 30 damage mishap threshold. 

Roll a D100

(1-1)Topple: Disaster happens. The car instantly flips and skids to the ground, landing upside down and unable to move. Everyone inside the car takes 4d6 Bludgeoning damage, or half if they are wearing a seatbelt. The car is unable to be moved unless righted, and cannot take any maneuvering checks, or ram actions. Roll a D100. If you roll another 1, the car explodes. 

(2-12)Brake Lock: The cars brake locks and will not function until a DC 15 Tinkers tools check is done to fix them. While the brake is locked, the car cannot slow down and any abilities that require slowing down will not function. 

(13-25)Acceleration lock: The acceleration becomes stuck and will not function properly until a DC 15 Tinkers tools check is done to fix them. While the brake is locked, the car cannot speed up and any abilities that require speeding up will not function. 

(26-38)Engine Blowout: The engine blows out and the car starts to lose speed at a rate of 10 ft per turn. The engine needs a DC 15 tinkers tools check to get working again. 

(39-51)Tire Blowout: One of the car's tires blows out. The driver has disadvantage on maneuvering checks until a DC 12 tinkers tools check is done to fix it. 

(52-64)Window rolldown: All of the car's windows suddenly rolldown, removing all benefits from Tinted/Mirrored Windows. A DC 12 tinkers tools check must be done to allow the windows to roll back up. 

(65-72)Armor shedding: The cars armor starts to shed and fall off. The car's damage threshold is 12 until A DC 15 tinkers tool check is done to fix it.

(73-81)Lurch Forward: The car suddenly and instantly shoots forward 20 ft, performing a Front Ram on anything in that 20ft area. The car performs a Hit that Gas  bonus action on its drivers turn.

(82-90)Slam backwards: The car suddenly and instantly falls backwards 20ft, performing a Backwards ram on anything in that area. The car performs a Slow down bonus action on its drivers turn.  

(91-99) Drifting: The car suddenly starts drifting either left or right (D4, 1-2 is left, 3-4 is right). The Driver must perform a DC 15 maneuvering check. On a success, the car loses 5ft of movement. On a failure, the car Moves 15 ft left or right, taking 2d6 damage if it hits a wall. 

(100-100)That weirdly worked out?: For some strange and miraculous reason, this damage is weirdly good for the car. The car heals 10d6 damage and gains 10 extra ft of movement. All current mishaps are suddenly resolved as a success. 

 Front Ram: The car must move 20 ft to a creature infront of it to use this ability. The car makes an attack roll +8(8d6+8). A small or medium creature must make a DC 18 STR save or fall prone and fall under the car. A creature under the car is restrained and takes 4d6 Bludgeoning damage on the cars turn until it succeeds a DC 16 Dex or STR save. A creature cannot be rammed under the car. 

Large creatures cannot fall under the car, and the car takes 4d6 Bludgoning damage when it rams a large or larger target. 

Side Ram: The car slams into a creature to either side of the car. +8(6d6+8 Bludgeoning) If the creature is small or medium, it must make a DC 18 Str save or fall prone and be pushed 10 ft away from the car in the direction it was slammed. 

Large or larger creatures will not fall prone but may be pushed by the ATK 

Backwards Ram: The car slows down suddenly and hits a creature behind it. +8(6d6+8 Bludgeoning) If the creature is small or medium, it must make a DC 18 STR save or fall prone and be pushed under the car. A creature under the car takes 4d6 damage every turn until it makes a DC 16 Dex or Str save and is restrained. A creature cannot be rammed under the car. (for this ram, slowing down gives ADV and speeding up gives DIS, effectively flipping the bonuses you get)

Large creatures will not fall prone, and cause the car to take 3d6 Bludgoning when rammed into. 

Repair: Any creature within the car can make a DC 12 tinkers tools check to attempt to repair the car. On a success, the car regains 2d8 HP. The mending spell can also accomplish this with no check. 

Slow down: The car loses 20 speed from its movement this turn. During this turn, Ramming attacks have disadvantage, Creatures riding without a seatbelt have advantage on DEX or STR saves, and the driver gains advantage on Maneuvering Checks or Saves. If no one is driving, the car will automatically use this.

Hit that Gas: The car gains 20 movement speed for its movement this turn. Ramming attacks have advantage, Creatures riding without a seatbelt have disadvantage on DEX or STR saves, and the driver gains disadvantage on Maneuvering Checks or Saves

Go steady: The car moves at the speed it did last turn, with the same effects. This one is chosen if the driver does not use a bonus action to change speeds, and there is a driver in the car. 

Brake: The driver slams on the brake. It loses all movement speed. Any creatures without a seatbelt must make a DC 15 STR save (+2 for every 10ft above 40, -2 for every 10ft below 40). On a fail, the creature flies forward 10ft for every 10ft of movement the car lost (a car going 10 would cause a creature to be flung 10 ft, and a car going 80 would cause a creature to be flung 80ft). take 4d6 Bludgoning damage, and fall prone. This also causes the effects of 

Floor it: The car speed doubles. Maneuvering checks and saves are made with a -3 penalty and disadvantage, Ramming checks are made with a +3 bonus to attack and damage and advantage, and any creatures without a seatbelt must make a DC 15 STR save or be flung 40ft off the back of the car, taking 4d6 Bludgeoning damage, and falling prone. 

Seatbelts: A creature sitting in one of the cars seats can take a bonus action to clip in their seatbelt. It takes no bonus action do undo a seatbelt. Your movement speed is 0 when you have a seatbelt on. 

Keep up: When a creature moves away from the car in a way that would make an opportunity attack, the car can move half the speed the fleeing creature is moving.

Honk: The car can honk and alerts all creatures within 500ft to its location. Any creature within 50 ft that was unaware to the cars location must succeed a DC 7 Wis save or be frightened for one turn. 

Window Wipers: You turn on the window wipers. Any creature on the car windsheild must make a DC 5 Str or DEX check. On a fail, they are thrown off the windshield 

Turn signal: You turn on your turn signal. Any cars that can see your turn signal get a +2 to maneuvering checks that involve turning with you

AC/Heat: You turn on the AC or Heat. People inside the car, if the windows are rolled down take 3 less damage from Fire or Cold damage respectively.