College of Jest

The most serious situations are the ones most in need of levity. Lay the prideful low with base humor, a sheer refusal to die, and the occasional aneurysm.

Slapstick Comedy

When you would be hit by an attack, you can expend a use of your Bardic Inspiration and your reaction to perform one of the following Slapstick Stunts.

Disproportionate Destruction. You pretend to take ludicrous amounts of damage, only to reveal that you’re actually completely fine. Creatures of your choice within 30 feet gain temporary hit points equal to your Bard level + one roll of your Bardic Inspiration dice. Any remaining temporary hit points are lost at the end of each creature’s next turn.

Pitiful Pratfall. You make sure to look extra pathetic as the attack lands. Any subsequent attacks against you until the start of your next turn must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC. On a failed save, the attacker must choose a different target or lose the attack.

Squeaky Shoes. You allow yourself to be tossed around with the momentum of the attack, moving up to half your movement speed. This movement is accompanied by obnoxiously loud squeaking noises, preventing this movement from triggering reactions as the sudden noise is too bewildering to respond to.

The Best Medicine

Being able to laugh at your own failures is crucial for being a jester – and being able to laugh at others’ failures is even more so! When a creature fails a saving throw, you can use your reaction to give any other creatures of your choice within 30 feet advantage on all saving throws until the start of your next turn. If multiple creatures were forced to make a saving throw against the same effect, this advantage can also apply to the effect that triggered this ability.

Once you use this feature, you cannot use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

Kill 'Em Laughing!

As an action, you can offer to tell an incredibly funny joke, forcing a creature within 5 feet to make a Wisdom save. Regardless of whether or not it succeeded on the saving throw, for 1 minute afterwards, you can complete the joke as an action.

On a successful save, you tell a joke so good that it’s stunned with laughter for 1 minute, or until it takes damage.

On a failed save, you can instead tell a joke so bad that it’s instantly reduced to 0 Hit Points.

Regardless of whether or not you complete the joke, once you use this feature, you cannot use it again until you finish a long rest.