College of Satire (UA+)

[A nearly complete rehaul of the College of Satire UA]

Bards of the College of Satire are called jesters. They use lowbrow stories, daring acrobatics, and cutting jokes to entertain audiences, ranging from the crowds in a rundown dockside pub to the nobles of a king’s royal court. Where other bards seek forgotten lore or tales of epic bravery, jesters ferret out embarrassing and hilarious stories of all kinds. Whether telling the ribald tale of a brawny stable hand’s affair with an aged duchess or a mocking satire of a paladin of Helm’s cloying innocence, a jester never lets taste, social decorum, or shame get in the way of a good laugh.

While jesters are masters of puns, jokes, and verbal barbs, they are much more than just comic relief. They are expected to mock and provoke, taking advantage of how even the most powerful folk are expected by tradition to endure a jester’s barbs with good humor. This expectation allows a jester to serve as a critic or a voice of reason when others are too intimidated to speak the truth.

For the duchess with a taste for strapping young laborers, such tales might serve to warn the targets of her affections and force her to change her ways for lack of willing partners. Striking back at the jester only ruins her already damaged reputation, and might provide the best evidence that the jester’s satires have hit their mark. But if she is kind and generous to her conquests, the jokes and stories cast her as a kind of folk hero, while drawing even more potential partners to her.

Jesters are loyal to only one cause: the pursuit and propagation of the truth. They use their comedy and innocuous appearance to break down social barriers and expose corruption, incompetence, and stupidity among the rich and powerful. Whether revealing a con artist’s treachery or exposing a baron’s plans for war as driven by greed and bloodlust, a jester serves as the conscience of a realm.

Jesters adventure to safeguard the common folk and to undermine the plans of the rich, powerful, and arrogant. Their magic bolsters allies’ spirits while casting doubt into foes’ minds. Among bards, jesters are unmatched acrobats, and their ability to tumble, dodge, and leap makes them slippery opponents in battle.

Merciless Mockery

When you join the College of Satire at 3rd level, you learn how to add insult to injury by lampooning the failures of your advesaries.

You learn the Vicious Mockery cantrip, which doesn’t count against the number of bard cantrips you know. Additionally, when a creature fails their saving throw against Vicious Mockery, they have disadvantage on their next roll (not limited to just an attack roll).

When a creature that you can see within 60 feet of you fails an attack roll, an ability check, or a saving throw, you can use your reaction to expend one of your uses of Bardic Inspiration to cast Vicious Mockery against the creature. If the creature critically failed their attack roll, ability check, or saving throw, you can perform this reaction without expending a use of your Bardic Inspiration.

The creature is immune if it can’t hear you. 

Tumbling Tomfoolery

Starting at 3rd level, you master the art of tumbling to evade danger, gaining proficiency in Acrobatics. 

Additionally, as a bonus action you can tumble an extra 10 feet. While tumbling you gain the following benefits:

• Opportunity attacks against you are made with disadvantage.
• You can move through the space of most creatures, unless a creature's ability prohibits it (eg., gelatinous cube).
• You only take half damage from falling.

 

Carnival Cutlery

At 6th level, your skill with juggling directly carriers over into a style of fighting that uses thrown weapons.

Thrown Weapon Fighting

You can draw a weapon that has the thrown property as part of the attack you make with the weapon.

In addition, when you hit with a ranged attack using a thrown weapon, you gain a +2 bonus to the damage roll.

Bewitching Buffoonery

At 14th level, you have a knack for turning tragedy into comedy.

Immediately after you take damage, you can use a reaction to halve the attack’s damage against you. As part of that same reaction you can expend one spell slot to cast Hideous Laughter (no concentration required). If the incoming damage is the result of a critical success or critical failure, Hideous Laughter can be cast at no cost.