fighter who can learn skills like any other, jack of all trades master of none... nah im just kidding. REPLACE ALL SUBCLASS FEATURES WITH FEATS HAHAHA!!!

Feat 1 The Chaos Has Just Begun, Its Time For Some Fun, Im On The Run (For War Crimes)

Feat 1/7, welcome to hell. you knew what you were doing when you picked this subclass.

feat 3 and 7 are hard to read, select and highlight them to see the full text if you struggle. Enjoy the ride!!!

Feat 2 Electric B- Wait How Did That Saying Go Again?

feat 2/7, you forgot your meds edition

Feat 3 Wait I Thought We Were Only Supposed To Have 2, I Guess We Are Some Kinda Weird Tripod Monster Now? Or Am I Just Confused? How Far Does This Text Allow Me To Type? Is There An End To Our Meaningless Existence? Why Do Avocados Exist? Why Is The Sperm Whale Called That? Why Are Cats Evil? Why Is Cleetus The Fetus So Terrifying? Is Baby Oil Made From Babies? Would I Get Caught If I Turned A Random Baby Into A Smoothie? If Humans Share 70% Of Our Dna With Bananas, How Come Human Flesh Doesnt Taste Good In Smoothies? Is Existence A Lie? What Even Is The Elden Ring? Who Decides Fate? If I Tickle A Genie's Chin Will I Get Another Wish? How Will The Afterlife Look? Should I Start Juggling Chainsaws To Impress Mr Wiggles? Which Economic System Works For The World If Human Greed Is Unavoidable? Why Is My Poop Red Instead Of The Regular Cyan? Is The Human Soul Really Stored In The Spleen? Has God Really Abandoned Us? If Walmart Is Open Until Midnight Then I Can Still Get Some Chicke...

EE

Feat 4 We Can Now Legally Pass As A Cow For Tax Write Offs

gain your 4th feat out of 7. its getting more real now isnt it? the fact that you chose a weird and dumb class that somehow is still viable because fighters are amazing? i wonder what you are doing with all these feet... oh... oh no... DEAR GOD NOOOOO!!!!!!!

Feat 5 You Now Have 5 Feet 4 Legs and 3 Arms! Crazy Right?!

you have officially gained feat 5/7, congrats! and in case you are a woman and the title doesnt apply... no you aren't silly, women don't exist!

its... only void. ... only... emptiness. nothing is left since the war... all is tar... ash... and stone... when did it become so lonely...?

Feat 6 Why Are You Still Here... For Stupidity? For Fun? No... A Purpose Greater Than Yourself! A Calling To See This Through To The End!!!

feat 6 out of 7 you are so close, but this is far from mending. you are about to get the wacky ending!!

Now, you’ve conquered Feat 1, the test of cringe rhymes. Feat 2 the trial of forgetfullness. Feat 3 the wall of chaotic nonsense. Feat 4 tax evasion. Feat 5 the nihilism of isolation and insanity. and Feat 6 the test of perserverance. You did it, you made it to the end. Just 2 more levels and it will all be over, a memory you will never forget. A subclass so utterly stupid and fun that you couldnt resist. I hope you had fun and enjoyed this subclass, it was a blast to make it. Now... there’s no way left to go but up, and in a moment i’ll shut up, but let me say this... i’m glad you came. I dedicate this subclass to you, the one who came this far. I give it to you with all of my love.

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Feat 7/7. 18 levels and you finally made it. what do you get? 2 FEATS!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!

(spacing is here so you can actually read this in the character editor menu)